http://www.max-logic.com

I've always been a self-conscious person; a trait I don't particularly celebrate about myself. But I've realized lately that there is an upside to being overly fixated with the impression we make on others. Beyond worrying unnecessarily that people are scrutinizing my hair or my nails or my shoes, it is my self-consciousness I think that makes me aware of the less-tangible impressions I leave on people.

When your boyfriend does you wrong, what's the right way to confront him about it? Do you yell? Do you throw things? Do you wait til you calm down and then discuss it rationally? Did Lorena Bobitt have the right idea?

Yep. Her boyfriend is awesome and treats her better than she could ever have hoped for. He makes her smile and laugh and cum her brains out. He considers her, makes her feel special, and is charmed by her weirdness. But he's not in love with her and it makes her a little bit crazy.

In a relationship, is it better to show your feelings through what you say or what you do?

The LDR ain't for everybody. I think I was born to be in one - boo'd up though I may be, I'm still a lone wolf and I relish the space I get. Being far away from your SO makes for a kind of clarity that you don't always get when you're in the thick of your relationship. And, contrary to popular belief, it doesn't make it easier to cheat - if anything it makes it harder. Or maybe that's just me. Either way, my LDR works for me.

I told someone the other day that I had the soul of a cheater. She said that was an oxymoron because cheaters have no soul. Which is an understandable point of view I suppose, if you're someone who has had their heart smashed open by infidelity. She said she could never, as long as she lived, understand what the fuck someone is thinking when they decide to cheat. So here it is my friend - what goes on in the mind of a cheater. Or at least what went on in my mind when I did it.

There are three types of women in the world: those who refuse to be controlled, possessed, or dominated by their man in any way shape or form (aka single women), those who say they want it but chafe against possession the minute it interrupts her plans, and those who are able to submit to their men without having an existential crisis about it. Most women think they're #3 when they're actually #2.

They say that greed is a sin of excess. It's not the wanting of the thing that's bad, it's the intemperance of it. I guess. The unfairness of wanting more than someone is willing to give, more than my fair share, more than I need. It's okay to want, as long as your want doesn't surpass your need. As long as you don't take more than you deserve. Or so they say. I say fuck that.

Yesterday my friends at What Black Men Want (whom I owe a guest post that I am woefully overdue on and am publicly shaming myself for as an act of contrition) schooled the ladies on how to keep a Black man happy. The list was beautiful in its simplicity. But we gals are a bit more complex, so here is my ultimate guide to making your (Black) woman happy.

I've always believed that life would be better for everyone if we were all just nicer and more careful with the people we care about, but it's easier said than done. There's a fine line between vigilance and nonchalance - too much care is smothering and too little is hurtful neglect.

The truth is though that finding the middle ground between pushover and pain in the ass is hard as shit. Any woman in a relationship will tell you that on any given day her man will do at least one thing that annoys the entire shit out of her. And deciding whether or not to speak on it requires an algorithm more complicated than anything Google can come up with.

He really wants you to do it. You really don't want to do it. Who shall prevail?

I don't get mad over dumb shit, and I would never leave a man for cheating. I have a life and encourage Mr. Max to have one too and I neither expect my man to read my mind, nor get angry at him when he fails to do so. To put it short, I have always been the coolest girlfriend ever.

The modern woman's urge to be independent just brings us further and further apart from our men. As she so eloquently puts it "We pee sitting down for a reason. He stands up for a reason. Know your position".

If there's one thing I know about life it's this: the flesh is weak, man. It is weak. Whether we're single or in a relationship we have desires. And our bodies want us to act on those desires. It's what it was born to do. But in order for us to not cheat we have to stop our bodies from getting what they want. And that is hard as shit.

See what you did when you expressed your dirty little thoughts about your relationship is you planted seeds in your sweetheart's head. And now that you're over it, you expect her to be over it too. But it doesn't really work that way. When you shared your concerns, you broke the gentle bonds of security and contentment and ease in your relationship and guess whose job it is to fix that? Yours.

One of my favourite topics to work over in my brain is appropriate behaviour in relationships. We all know the big things we are and are not supposed to do, but there's a lot of grey area involved that can make things messy. It's enough to make an over-thinker's brain explode. So today we're going to over-think together. I'm going to give you some scenarios, tell you my thoughts, and you tell me in the comments what you think is the appropriate thing to do.

Just as there are things we must always do to maintain our sexiness in our partners' eyes, so are there things that we must never ever let them see. I do not care how long you have been together, I don't care how comfortable you are. I don't care how much your shit transcends the physical. Unless you are infirm, there is just some shit that your partner does not need to see. Full stop.

Like many people, I'm a bit iffy on the concept of relationship breaks. A big part of me thinks that a break is just a pussy's break up - it's what people suggest when they secretly want to end things and just don't want to be that person. So they suggest that you "slow down", "take some time", "think things over" in the hopes that either the other person will say "why don't we just end it?" or things will fizzle out and die when all this breaking is going on.

Don't give up hope, my dear men. There is a way for you to make your girl happy and it isn't even difficult. It won't cure all the problems in your relationship and it won't make her stop getting mad about the toilet seat. It won't last forever and you will have to do it repeatedly but do you want to know the one thing you can do (that you're probably not doing enough) that will make your girl happy?

One of the most fun parts of a new relationship for me is figuring out what I'm gonna call my new friend. I'm usually looking for two things; a pet name and a euphemism with which I refer to him when mentioning him to friends. My euphemisms are usually descriptive; "the old one", "the young one", "waiter dude", "bathroom grabber", while my pet names are a little more problematic.

There are a lot of things that make relationships extremely difficult, but the most challenging thing has to be balancing our wants and needs against those of another. It's fair and reasonable for us to expect our boy/girlfriends to do things to please us to a certain extent...but how much is too much?

My first boyfriend deceived me in a cruel and disgusting way. It was really terrible. So much so that very few people even know the story. Even now, over a decade and a half later, my face gets hot with anger every time I think about it. And though I've come a long way, I doubt that I will ever completely forgive him for it.

Once a woman gets her feelings hurt by a man, she changes a bit. Some women become just the slightest bit gun-shy, others tap out and refuse to play altogether, still others become bitter, hard, or jaded. It's a sad but true fact that once we get our face kicked in once, we're really afraid of having it happen again.