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This week my homegirl @JustLissen graces with a Nasty Friday guest post. Let's all thank the non-pregnant folks out there who are still fucking and want to write about for me. I salute you!

The homie @_chunk_ is blessing us today with a Nasty Friday guest post because my pregnant ass is too tired to even think about fucking. Enjoy!

I climbed on top of him and rubbed my wet pussy on him. Watched his eyes widen and heard his breath catch as he felt the heat of my pussy on his dick. He was ready to slip inside but I swatted his hands away. I made him wait. I teased him, rocking on top of him, playing with my nipples. I looked him dead in his eye and told him every nasty thing I was about to do to him.

Word on the street is that BDSM is where it's at. We all know who is to blame for it, but that's neither here nor there. If the addition of some kinky techniques is resulting in women everywhere getting their brains fucked out, does anyone really care that it's the result of a somewhat cheesy (but fucking hawt) ebook? Nope we don't.

But to fuck a man whose dick has stretched your walls more times than you can count is another experience entirely. Your pussy curves to him so perfectly it feels custom made. Secure in the knowledge that he knows exactly how to fuck you, no instruction required, you can simply open up and surrender to him.

Your bed is sliding across the room as he flings you and fucks you. He's giving new meaning to the word manhandle. You feel every muscle in your body as he bends you, twists you, pulls you. Never losing his rhythm as his dick pounds into you relentlessly.

For the past few weeks I've been immersing myself in the wonderful world of the female orgasm. Surprisingly enough, this is something I'd not given much thought to in my life. Now after Googling every possible iteration of "squirting girls", I'm on overload. After a lot of marinating, this is what I've learned about squirting.

She's there, blindfolded and bound and under your control. So do with her what you will.

A grown up fucks like she has something to prove. A grown up breaks down boundaries. A grown up wants to show you things you've never seen, make you do things you've never done. A grown up doesn't say "no" she says "yessssss". A grown up doesn't worry you'll wonder where she learned that. A grown up knows you'll just be glad she taught you.

A few weeks ago my friend Claire at Lelo hit me up and asked if I'd be interested in trying out their new line of couples' massagers and of course I jumped at the chance. So she sent me the Tiani which is basically a wireless wearable massager.

It's that moment. The moment when you decide to do something you know you shouldn't do, when you decide to fuck the person you're not supposed to fuck, that makes the allure of the forbidden so hard to resist. The inner conflict when you struggle to focus on the future consequences, but all you can think about is the immediate pleasure. Your heart pounding, your chest heaving, the throbbing pulse in your pussy. Everything in your mind screaming no while your body screams yes. please. NOW.

Ladies if you are not letting your man watch you play with your pussy you are failing at life.

I'm not a good girl. I live a big life and I need big sex. Not gentle, sweet, make-you-feel treasured sex, but epic sex. Mind-blowing, earth-shattering, make me question my morals sex. Leave my clothes in tatters sex. Anything but vanilla sex.

But he gets close… smelling of Burberry Touch… an old favorite of hers. He leans even closer, one arm across the front of her body bracing himself on the bar, the other still holding his drink. He leans in, his lips close to her ear. “I see you letting them down easy. But you and me? We finna have this next dance.”

Imagine a world where you don't have to stop to get a condom. Where you can just grab me roughly and push your dick all the way inside me. Picture how good it would feel to have nothing between your hard dick and my tight pussy. Picture being close enough to feel every throb, every twitch. Every pulse and clench as my pussy fits around you.

Ah nut. For a woman who takes pride in a job well done, it is the raison d'etre when it comes to fucking. Nothing says "job well done" like getting a man to shoot a big beautiful load. The problem is, what is to be done with all that nut?

This is a story about a girl who loved sex. For her, there was no greater feeling than the moment a man slid his turgid dick deep into her...except maybe for the moment when all of her expert gyrations and dirty nothings whispered in his ear culminated in deep thrusting, panted breath, and an anguished cry as he busted his nut. Either way, she loved fucking. No debating that.

When I first met you, I didn't think I would ever fuck you. I liked the way you look and I liked talking to you, but I didn't think the vibe was there. You were funny, you were nice, but something was missing. To be honest, I didn't think you could handle me. And I like to be handled.

So there we were, in a slightly narrow hotel bed. He undressed me slowly, touched me everywhere. We moved around and over each other as smoothly as water flows over a rock. Every stroke, every thrust, every grip and gasp and clutch was like poetry, like a dance we were born to perform with each other. There I was, in the midst of the perfect first time fuck when I looked over and realized we were not alone.

Like I said last week, I get a lot of questions from men asking how to make a threesome happen. Is it better for it to be organic and happen naturally, or should we be planning and strategizing to make it happen?

See the thing about threesomes is that it doesn't much matter how they come to be, as long as they come to be. When you're down and dirty in the bed with two other people are you really going to stop and lament over how it came to pass? No you're going to grab a titty and stuff it in your mouth and thank the good God almighty that you are where you are in that moment.

It's been 63 days since you last fucked me. And I need your dick. Now. I've been thinking about it, dreaming about it, painting my nails and imagining you here with me. Fucking me.

As a reader, a writer, and a talker, words are a big deal to me. I take them seriously, choose them carefully, and value them above feelings and actions. Nothing inspires me, motivates me, or moves me like words.

In the world of media strategy, we use different tactics to elicit different reactions. We might make an ad with a game in it to get people to interact with our brand. Or we might do a big splashy takeover on a popular website to make as many people aware as quickly as possible. Or we might do a radio campaign to make sure people hear our ads as frequently as we've deemed optimal. But always we have a baseline media that supports our fancier tactics. Which is not to say that the baseline media doesn’t have a few tricks up its sleeve - it can and often does. But even when it’s not fancy, the baseline media will hit all the right spots and get the job done.

A couple of nights ago, armed with my new laptop and a blessedly empty apartment, I settled down to watch some porn.