moi


Return of the Max

12
Nov
2013
bums

I apologize for my long absence. And thank you to everyone who commented on old posts and tweeted to or about me asking what in the entire fuck was going on. So where have I been? Well for starters I had some babies last Christmas Eve. Then I wrote a book in my head.

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belly

I've made no secret of the fact that I consider pregnancy to be one of the greatest #swindles of all time. There is just so much bullshit involved that I cannot believe people willingly do this to themselves. The one shining light of this experience is the fact that I was an early shower. At 16 weeks I was measuring 20 and now at 18 weeks I am what can best be described as huge. And I fucking love it.

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mad-pregnant-woman

Anyway, so I'm back with some more random ramblings. This is mainly a stall tactic because I need to get dressed and get to work and I can't think of anything else that I'd rather do less than go to work. This is the problem with taking vacations - whatever enjoyment you got from being away is promptly and thoroughly squashed by the pain of having to return to work.

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mad-pregnant-woman

I think the key to getting posts in these days is to write less more often. I used to have a good meaty topic that I wanted to dig deeply into, now I just have a bunch of disparate thoughts that I'd like to write about but I don't think I can turn into an actual post. So today I'm just going to share those with them and maybe they'll inspire some awesome discussion in the comments.

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Big Fat Secrets Revealed

01
Aug
2012
bunned

Lately many of you have been tweeting to me or emailing me asking when I'm finally going to reveal the secrets I hinted about a few posts ago. I've been trying to wait until what I deemed to be the right time, but the truth is that I'm not so good at keeping secrets. And, more importantly, when I have a secret from you guys I find it very hard to write about anything else. So this morning I just randomly decided that today is the day.

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Shit Max Says

25
Jan
2012
max-says

This is the shit that I say. What do you guys say?

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Discipline

20
Oct
2011
discipline

It's 6:58pm on Wednesday and I'm asshole tired. I've been up since 4 o c'lock, spent my morning sitting through mind-numbing meetings, and fought to stay awake all afternoon back at my desk. I want to go to sleep and the only thing standing between me and my pillow top is writing this post.

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adventuresincrazy

My first boyfriend deceived me in a cruel and disgusting way. It was really terrible. So much so that very few people even know the story. Even now, over a decade and a half later, my face gets hot with anger every time I think about it. And though I've come a long way, I doubt that I will ever completely forgive him for it.

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The Theme Song

13
Oct
2011
theme-song

The purpose of the theme song as I understand it is to bolster you when you're feeling down or shy or insecure or something. You hear it in your head and it gives you the extra little pep in your step you need to get through whatever your latest crisis is. It's like your own personal cheering squad. In your head. Sounds a little trite I suppose, but hey, whatever works right?

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On Vacation

29
Sep
2011
vacation

Random Things I’m Anal About

08
Sep
2011
anal

Like my girl Shonnerz always tells me, I am a mess. Not in the scandalous way, but I'm a total scatterbrain. My home and office are in a constant state of barely-controlled chaos, and my method of keeping track of important things basically boils down to "put it somewhere and hope I find it later".

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Max & The Corny Dudes

16
Aug
2011
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Gone Fishin’

02
Aug
2011
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Life Au Naturale

28
Jul
2011
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Mind of a Woman

27
Jul
2011
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Old Friends

20
Jul
2011
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When I Like Someone

13
Jul
2011
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A Post About Water

06
Jul
2011
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Max Au Naturale

05
Jul
2011
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I’m in Love With Myself

21
Jun
2011
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The Best Words I Never Use

20
Jun
2011
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zzzCheater

Time to Throw in the Towel

01
Jun
2011
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My First Time

23
May
2011
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A Little Post About Twitter

15
May
2011
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The Power of Three

12
May
2011
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No Questions Asked

27
Apr
2011
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ugliest-sneakers

Max’s Workout Plan

20
Apr
2011
gym-workout-plans

So it's a banner week over at casa maxfab and do you guys know why? Because we are celebrating six full months of Max working out regularly!

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cheating

Top 10 Honky Hits

14
Apr
2011
keith_richards

Am I Bad in Bed?

13
Apr
2011
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The Starting Lineup

07
Apr
2011
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Wanting is Complicated

17
Mar
2011
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Weird Ways I Love You

31
Jan
2011
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Unchartered Waters

25
Jan
2011
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fight

Fatal Flaws

03
Jan
2011
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Re-examining Some Things

22
Dec
2010
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The Well Has Run Dry

15
Dec
2010
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The Boys Club

17
Nov
2010
boysclub-stamp

Ever since I was a little girl I've been boy-crazy. When I go home and look back over diaries I kept from ages 13-24, I have to laugh at the fact that all I ever talked about was this boy or that one or the other. To read those diaries you would think that nothing else ever went on in my life. But what can I say? I've always been fascinated by boys.

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5 Men I Would Like to Sleep With

10
Nov
2010
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Drink Away the Pain

04
Nov
2010
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Fear of Flying

20
Oct
2010
flying fear

Happy Birthday to Me

30
Sep
2010
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