http://www.max-logic.com

In the history of conversations, there is no greater opening line than the one dropped on me during a smoke break with the boys yesterday. When someone's opening line is "So I shaved my balls last night", the conversation is pretty much flattened before it begins.

Ah Chuck Bass, for a short White man with questionable teeth, that is one seriously hot piece of ass. How can anyone not lust after him? He's dashing, well-dressed, and obnoxiously confident. Cunning, complicated and tortured. On top of which he's a fucking sarcastic asshole. And he's into freaky shit. AND he likes Black girls. Talk about my dream man.

But sooner or later it becomes clear. This isn't a test of her loyalty. It isn't a phase Boy is going through, a bump on the road, a rough patch. This is a power move. Boy wants to force Girl's hand and he is using every tool in the panty meat arsenal to get her to do what he wants that he doesn't have the balls to do himself.

So men I beg you - play your game if that's what you're into. But handle your business with your girl first. Find a way to divide your attention between Captain Soap and Wifey and end the cycle of video game widowhood once and for all.

At the end of the day, we all need to learn to be more honest and direct with our communication. But we all know that's easier said than done when you're trying to build a relationship with someone and you're not sure where you stand and you don't want to get your feelings hurt. So sometimes we have to just take one for the team in the name of productivity.

One of my very favourite things about this blog is getting feedback from my readers. I love it when people write me and tell me they love the blog and I love it even more when they say I'm their friend in their head. I love when readers ask for advice and I love when they follow up with me to tell me what happened when they followed it. But what I love most of all is when people write me to say "Max you were right".

As those of you who are close to me know, I'm going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. And yes I realize that usually happens to people in their mid-fifties, but I think I'm justified in having mine a bit early since I doubt I'll live to be much older than 72.

Everyone who knows me knows I don't date white guys. Tried it, didn't work, not doing it again, not getting into it in today's post. It's a wrap for me and the white men of the world.

Yesterday when I heard the sound of my gchat go off in the afternoon I knew it was you. We haven't talked in a while and I miss you and figure you must miss me too. We've always told each other our secrets and since you've been scarce lately, you're long overdue to listen and to share right?

If you don't want to be in a relationship, don't act like you're in one. If you're emotionally unavailable, fucking act like it. Maybe in a perfect world it's enough to just say it once and then act the complete opposite, but in the real world you're confusing the entire fuck out of people with the boyfriend shit you do. So if you don't want to be a boyfriend, please refrain from engaging in the following acts

Ever since I was a little girl I've been boy-crazy. When I go home and look back over diaries I kept from ages 13-24, I have to laugh at the fact that all I ever talked about was this boy or that one or the other. To read those diaries you would think that nothing else ever went on in my life. But what can I say? I've always been fascinated by boys.

It is a truism of the life of any single woman that you are going to encounter a few assholes on your journey to wifehood. And if you're anything like me, assholes are the only thing you're gonna encounter. If you're one of the 0.02% of women who make good relationship choices, when you encounter an asshole you run in the opposite direction before any harm can come to you. The rest of us will probably deal with no fewer than 6 assholes between the ages of 18 and 35.