http://www.max-logic.com

I've always been a self-conscious person; a trait I don't particularly celebrate about myself. But I've realized lately that there is an upside to being overly fixated with the impression we make on others. Beyond worrying unnecessarily that people are scrutinizing my hair or my nails or my shoes, it is my self-consciousness I think that makes me aware of the less-tangible impressions I leave on people.

If there was ever such a thing as first world problems, it's the so-called "complexity" of navigating one's social media profiles. Connect to whom you want to on LinkedIn, befriend your friends on Facebook, follow me whomever sparks your interest on twitter. Subscribe to the YouTube channels that post the shit you want to see and for the sweet love of christ get off MySpace.

I have big fat juicy secrets right now. And they're kind of awesome, but they're driving me nuts. And let me tell you, one of these secrets will blow your fucking minds when I tell you. But in the meantime, help me out dear readers. Do any of you have big fat juicy secrets right now? What do you do when you have secrets you can't tell?

I'm inviting all of you to join me on my last-ditch attempt to shape up before summer. And to help us all out, I'm building on the tips I gave you last spring with some new and improved strategies to get us all ready to stunt this summer.

There are three types of women in the world: those who refuse to be controlled, possessed, or dominated by their man in any way shape or form (aka single women), those who say they want it but chafe against possession the minute it interrupts her plans, and those who are able to submit to their men without having an existential crisis about it. Most women think they're #3 when they're actually #2.

Are you there world? It's me, Max. I'm still alive!

I always wondered what people who don't smoke do. Like - what do you do when you're mad, or bored, or waiting for your toast to pop? Now I know. You stand around doing nothing. At least with a cigarette in my hand I'm always doing something - I'm smoking. Without one I'm just superfluous.

The other day I listened to a couple debate about what the most important quality is to a relationship. She said love, he said trust. Then someone else chimed in and said it was respect. But you know what I think it is? Appreciation. Gratitude. Thankfulness for who that person is and for the their presence in your life.

When you're following your flow, life is not necessarily easy, but it proceeds. You try things and they work and if they don't you apply the lessons and it do better the next time. When you're following your flow, life leads you organically through its steps. When you're following your flow, you feel it.

At the end of the day, life is miserable enough without all this unvarnished truth being shoved down our throats all the fucking time. How about a little spin? A little soft focus? A little truth lite?

Because the truth is I want my easy breezy sail through with a smile on my face life back. This shit is for the birds. Because I don't like to work hard.

After years and years of being chronically dizzy, I've come up with a few strategies that go a long way to helping me stay on top of most of my shit. And since I know I'm not the only one out there with the curse of the scatterbrain, I thought it was only right that I share them with all of you.

Be generous. Generosity is a beautiful thing. Give freely and lovingly. But carve off what you need for yourself first. Draw a line and say you can have everything else, but this shit right here is for me and you can't have it.

There are plenty of things in the world that we have the right to be smug about. You have an MBA? Great - feel yourself. Shortlisted for the Giller Prize? Yes! Go tell it on the mountains. But there are too many people out here walking around stroking their own nuts for very little reason.

One of the things I've always loved about living alone is having the freedom to follow a thought to its natural conclusion. The privacy to open my eyes to 10%, stare at the right side of my nose, and chant weird things without ridicule. The space and time to do what I must to get some fucking enlightenment dammit! But instead I'm a prisoner of my random and useless thoughts, struggling to break through to my zen.

The problem with aspiring to greatness is that it requires the belief that you have the potential to be great. Or the belief that you are already great. And that I think is where most of us fall down. Or at least that's where things go left for me. As I move around and up the corporate ladder in the 3D world, I'm always looking for a place that is conducive to me being great. But when I get there I always wonder whether I have it in me to do it.

As you guys already know, I stay losing by being Canadian. They do not give out condoms on the subway here, we don't have Pandora, and our butter pales in comparison to yours. It's no kinda life, let me tell you. But the single biggest way in which being Black and Canadian sucks is this: we don't have Greek Life here.