Say It or Do It


I am also chronically idle. I tend to avoid taking action whenever possible. I think about what I should do, what I want to do, what to do to make a situation better, but most of the time I don’t actually do anything until it’s absolutely necessary.

My love for words and my aversion to action is part of what makes me a good writer. I really believe this. It’s also part of what makes it easy to be in a relationship with me. You never have to wonder what goes on in my mind because I fucking rock at telling you.

I’m absolutely awesome at telling people how I feel. I can speak about my feelings in a heartfelt way without being corny. I can articulate hard to define feelings in a really clear way. I can explain the complexities of  my female Libra brain in such a way that even the most dense of men can understand. I’m a great talker. I’m great with words.

My beloved Mr. Max is of course the complete opposite. He is fucking awesome, let me say that for the record. But it’s like pulling teeth to get that man to tell me what goes on in the labyrinth of his mind. Good lord almighty.

He is, however, a great do-er. A great shower of feelings. The epitome of actions speaking louder than words. And while I wouldn’t trade him for the world, sometimes I can’t help but wish he would whisper some sweet nothings in my ear. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the sweet things he does for me. But I’m a writer, sometimes I just need some words.

We discussed this the other day, Mr. Max and I, and he said I was bullshit (how awesome is it that I can tell that man I wish he was different and all he does is laugh, tell me I’m bullshit, and advise that I write about it). He asked how I could possibly wish for a man who talked a good game but whose actions didn’t back it up. According to him, any woman in the world would rather have a man who shows her how he feels rather than talks about it.

He’s probably right, but I am and always have been certified illogical. Or maxlogical, if you will. Call me crazy, but all things being equal I would rather have a man who was a talker than a do-er.

But what say you guys? Do actions mean more than words to you? Would you rather be with someone who told you how s/he feels all the time, or someone who shows you his/her feelings? Weigh in with your piece in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 6

  1. Streetz says:

    Women are never satisfied lol.

    I would say that you have to know your man, but its cool to meet each other halfway

  2. Gem Jones says:

    much like you max, i am a person who tries to be very clear about where i stand and how i feel – im adamant about expressing myself verbally, as clearly as possible. i mean what i say and say what i mean. my primary love language is words of affirmation – words are VERY meaningful to me. and i NEED to hear them. but that doesnt mean the actions shouldnt be there to back it up. i want them both, not one over the other. in the past ive compromised on being with men who only had one or the other, and it doesnt work for me.

    thankfully, ive finally met my match. ive found some one who expresses himself to me in both action and words. the communication between us isnt always perfect, but it works.

  3. Mr. SD says:

    I think if you know women (in general) well enough you can “do” til you’re blue in the face. But you still need to talk that ish to them…lol Ya’ll like that. I look at it as G/game and I guess it is. Its kinda like a awesome mind phuck for ya’ll. BUT like a physical phuck not many men can do it right. Soooooo let Mr. Max be.

  4. petersburgh says:

    Hi Max, it’s good to see that a partnership is working that well even with difference of opinions. I do believe actions are better than words generally but I’m not that naive to not think that specifically sometimes talking is more necessary. It’s as simple as that.

  5. Krista Joy says:

    I want both really. For me, you can’t tell me you’ve missed me and you don’t call or text. You can’t tell me you love me and you’re not ready to sacrifice. Both is a good mix… more like 70% do and 30% talk 🙂

  6. @karenmgreer says:

    in a relationship it takes both..your actions last longer but words feel good when they are about the love you have for one another.

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