A 5 Out of 10


As anyone who knows me knows, I’m inordinately fixated on my own attractiveness. I devote days to grooming and spend more money than I’d care to admit on preserving my pretty. After systemically overcoming all my teenage attractiveness obstacles, I’m confident in calling myself an 8.  Well, and 8.5 really. But that’s because I’m a bit of an egomaniac.

I was skipping along happily in life with my 8.5 by my side until the day my friend and blogging idol Dr. J wrote this post about the rating scale for women. When I did the math according to his calculations, I came in at a 5. Then I went back and calculated it again and gave myself a 6 instead. Then I wept and hit him on gchat to inform him that he’d ruined my life.  Mystified as he so often is by the workings of my mind, he didn’t feel my pain. His advice was to figure out how I see myself and not let other people dictate my number. Solid advice, but I would have been happy with “Max no way are you a 5, any fool can see you’re an 11!”.

Although it was a tiny bit dramatic for me to say that a score of 5 out of 10 ruined my life, it did make me pause and reevaluate my perception of my own attractiveness. What good is your score if you gave it to yourself and you’re the only one who thinks it? Was I incorrect in my assessment that in any given place, only 2 out of 10 women is better looking than I? And why does it matter?

Maybe it’s different for other (normal) people, but my attractiveness – or my perception of it – informs a lot of what I do. I function better in life when I look good or at least believe I do. I have better relationships with people who don’t make me feel ugly or lumpy. I communicate better with men who think I’m pretty. And let’s not forget, I’m the girl who stopped making YouTube videos because a troll called me ugly. I care about my attractiveness and what’s more, I care that other people recognize my attractiveness. Is that a bad thing?

Almost a year after the good doctor’s attractiveness calculations rocked me to my core, I had almost returned to normal when he sent me this link. For those of you too lazy to click it, the net net of it is that most people are between a 4 and a 6 on the attractiveness scale and that there is no such thing as a perfect 10. This caused my self-imposed 8.5 score to waver momentarily, until I reminded myself that I don’t have time for yet another existential crisis about my looks.

At the end of the day though, does it really matter? Is the good doctor right in saying that we have to choose our number and stick to it, all evidence to the contrary? Or is that how those unfortunate-looking women end up on YouTube and World Star gyrating in too-tight clothes thinking they’re really doing something? Is life as an 8 really any better than life as a 6? Or as a 4? The illustrious Panama Jackson has been touting himself as a 3 for ages and he seems to be doing alright with his life. So maybe a high score isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Last night in preparation for this post I asked Mr. Max what score he would give me on a scale of 1 to 10. After giving me a look that said “screw you I know a trap when I see one”, he gave me an 8. Smart man. As long as I think and I’m 8 and my mister concurs, does it matter what anyone else thinks?  To me it does, but am I alone in this?

Tell me dear readers, what score have you been given? What would you give yourself? Do you think that being perceived as attractive enriches your life in any way or do you have more important things to worry about? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 11

  1. krystllyght says:

    Hol’ up.
    On your last vid Malik and I were on here talking about how pretty you look but you let some troll override that? No way honey. In my opinion, my opinion is more important than the troll’s thank you.

    Anyway, before you even got to the Oprah link I was already thinking in my head about the ovulating thing and how our level of attractiveness fluctuates based on it. Funny how that worked out. The other thing I’ve noticed is I get hit on more after I’ve had sex. My face must be glowy or something.

    I’m not interested in trying to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10 though. Mostly because my hubs would start looking at me funny but also because I think it’s really hard to be below a five and I know only one person who may fall below that. I will say that I know I’m not ugly. In fact, all my life all I felt like I had was my face so when it was looking really hit for about a year or so(my Grave’s disease had jacked me up for a bit), my confidence was really throwed. Ultimately I feel like if you think you’re an 8.5, that’s all that matters because you’ll project 8.5 confidence.

  2. Mr. SD says:

    Max im not gonna let you distort my 8.5 status!! I been a 8.5 for years..lol

  3. Jasper Bloom says:

    I always feel a certain way about a person who even thinks to put themselves into the category of 8-10. I would only say this, based solely on looks, the only way to get into that group is to deem the person “widely accepted” as good looking. Don’t even have to be great, but just widely accepted as good looking. Now with that said, again.. there’s nothing wrong with being a 5 or 6, based solely on looks. I know some dime pieces who I know for a fact without personality and presence would be a 4. Man I watched someone from my school go from being called the mascot to being one of the finest women I know… As Kevin Garnett said, “Anything is possible.”

    But real talk, let’s be real, they laid out some real points in that article that make sense. If anyone wants to know I definitely scored an 8 on that test. But… that’s just because of facial features, not to say anyone really is trying to get at me.

  4. Gemmie says:

    very interesting post!

    its funny to read this post after browsing through (read: stalking) FB at pics of an old neighborhood friend of mine. i looked at her and her sister and thought, “they are amazingly beautiful without even trying. ive never ever seen them look slightly unflattering”. i could NEVER say that about myself. like, i have some HORRIBLE looking days.

    but i guess if i HAD to rate myself, i think id be a 6, maybe 7. but does my “score” matter to me? nope. i do know that im more attractive than the average person. i like being attractive and happily accept whatever perks come with that. its shallow but *shrug* i’ll be dat…

    1. Manny says:

      Remember that day you were a man? Didn’t look too good then.

  5. Amos Banks says:

    Very good descriptions of 6-10 on the scale. I think a 5 is the point when people size up a couple and they think the guy could do better. A 4 creates even more wondering and less than a 4 changes it from “he could do better” to “who would ever get with that” or “some guys will stick their junk in ANYthing”.

  6. Mabl says:

    I think everyone has their own personal scale. I feel uncomfortable walking around rating myself as less than a 10. I know I’m not Mensa smart, but as far as that type of measurable standard goes . . . well it isn’t subjective. I’m not sure why I would walk around thinking anyone is prettier than me. So, I do not. I could think I’m an 8, but then my scale would not go higher than 8. I remember asking a friend for my rating, I would like to give a number, but I honestly don’t recall what it was. It must have been a B (aka an 8, for me a 5 is failing and a six is close enough to) or higher though, else I would have remembered my fwb called me ugly. I think there are benefits to being attractive. And as I am 9.9 times out of 10 rocking only lip balm I’m not talking in that batting eyes, super groomed or I’m such a charming hot guy, see my dimples way. I think people react differently when they find someone pleasing to look at. My numbers rating scale doesn’t include anything but looks and a D (a few times an F), while not good enough in myself is good enough for me to consider someone else, of course by the time I’m super into them they have become like an 8.

  7. Malik says:

    Well studies have shown that more attractive people get better jobs and have higher pay. They’re also usually thought of as kinder people based on first seeing them. People still generally associate attractive with a being a good person. So, yeah being seen as attractive has many tangible perks.

  8. Corey says:

    I’m a 5. Ya know why? Cause I look like a normal human being. Nothing fancy, nothing extra, just normal. I don’t know why people get so up in arms about the word “average”. All it means is that you fall within one standard deviation of the mean of all people. It really isn’t that big of a deal but people will rip your eyeball out over it. WE’RE ALL AVERAGE IN SOME THINGS IN LIFE. That’s just the way it is. People really need to get over themselves.

    BTW: Max, I’ve seen more than my fair share of busted chicks and even though I’ve never seen you standing up, I can safely say that you are not counted in that number.

  9. Martin says:

    Why would you drop your rating based on some dude who thinks eva mendes is a 10…?

    She has a man face for christ sake.

    Anyways this should be common sense by now that everyone has their standards, and their own personal views on what is attractive. I don’t find Beyonce all that pretty in the face, her body most of the time though is a solid 10. But I think someone like Rihanna has her beat when it comes to the face. But neither beyonce or rihanna are the type of women looks wise that I’d ever want to marry, date, or bring home to meet my parents (not saying beyonce is trashy, just too fake for my PERSONAL taste)

    My personal taste has me approaching women like Corinne Baily Rae on average rather than the weaved up, cake face, overstyled to go to CVS type of women

  10. smartsx says:

    my rating flails depending on my mood. The highest I’ve given myself is a 7 and the lowest probably a 3. I’m in the range of average. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Most of the times I get over it and try and keep occupied with other things. There will always be someone more gorgeous than you and competitive rating is stressful & depressing lol

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