I have a confession: I've become obsessed with these Shit ____ Say videos. Honestly they are like drugs to me. I - who used to avoid YouTube like the cesspool it is - have spent more time than I care to confess watching everything from Shit Brown Boyfriends Say to Shit Fat Guys Say to Shite Irish Girls Say to Shit British Asians Say. As if I have any idea whether they're funny or not.
I have a confession: I’ve become obsessed with these Shit ____ Say videos. Honestly they are like drugs to me. I – who used to avoid YouTube like the cesspool it is – have spent more time than I care to confess watching everything from Shit Brown Boyfriends Say to Shit Fat Guys Say to Shite Irish Girls Say to Shit British Asians Say. As if I have any idea whether they’re funny or not.
But one video you won’t find on YouTube is Shit Max Says. Partly because I am way too lazy to make such a video but mostly because I – actually let me stop lying. It’s 100% because I am too lazy to make such a video.
Come out of my panty draw
My most frequently-used avoidance technique. “You need to come out of my panty draw”, “Why are you in my panty draw”, “I don’t know why you’re in my panty draw” is what I say when I don’t want to answer questions. For those of you who don’t get it, panty draw = panty drawers; i.e. my private business. And when you say that to people they either get confused or start laughing and completely forget that they were trying to get all up in your business. Truss me. It works!
Yes I am Canadian and yes I say eh? All the time. “I know eh?”, “I’m always right eh?”, “you think you’re funny eh?”, “really eh?”. I say it all the time eh?
Interesting is my catchall phrase that works for every occasion. Sometimes interesting just means interesting. Sometimes it means “what you just said is actually not interesting at all”. It can mean “I’m done talking about this”, or “you’re lying and we both know you’re lying but I don’t feel like getting into it right now”. If I wasn’t listening to what you were saying but it’s clear you’re expecting a response, “interesting”.
This is my highest form of agreement. If I only kinda agree with you I might say “I know right?” but when you are talking truths I’ll interrupt you to exclaim RIGHT?!? – half question half exclamation. Because I’m equal parts surprised and delighted that you actually know what you’re talking about.
This is my answer for everything. I don’t want to go out tonight because I’m getting old. I forgot to pay my rent because I’m getting old. I punk out and avoid confronting someone because “I’m getting old eh?”. I didn’t do any housework this weekend because I’m getting old and tired. There are more uses for this phrase but I’ve forgotten them because I’m getting old.
S/he could get it.
High praise in my book. The more times you can get it the sexier you are. For example, Lance Gross could get it from me once. Idris Elba could get it from me 9 times. But Minka Kelly could get it from me any way she wants. As many times as she wants.
That’s the shit that I say. What do you guys say?