Ask Max: Too Many Fish in the Sea

23
Jan
2012
too-many-fish

Ask Max is my weekly advice column where I respond to readers' sex, dating, and relationship questions and the max-logic fam weighs in with their own advice. If you have a question that you need help with, click the Ask Max button at the top of the page and fill in the form. There's even an anonymous feature for those of you who are shy.


This week on Ask Max we have a question from  @Cherifurieux wondering what to do with all the boys sweating her. Read on for the problem and my advice:

I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I want to go out and have fun, but my heart is stuck on a very good friend of mine.[We had a convo] about becoming an item [but her told me] he’s not reliable enough to commit right now. I totally understand. But there seems to be a swarm of fish after the bait I have yet to fully cast and I don’t know if I should give them a chance.

I am confused between the guy who was a horrible one night stand, but aside from that is a cool dude; the persistent sweetheart who seems to have gotten too comfortable and doesn’t try as hard anymore, and the sibling of a good friend who I can’t take too seriously because of a few red flags.

My question is do I give either of them a chance, if not what should I do with each, or should I just enjoy the company for what it’s worth and have a good time? I just don’t want to end up wasting time in things that wont become prosperous or fruitful.

What a problem to have! Is your wallet too small for your $50 bills too? Are your diamond shoes too tight? My heart just weeps for you poor Miss Irresistible-With-Sooo-Many-Men-Sweating-Me. I’m sure you’re really suffering.

Hahahaha I’m totally kidding. I feel your pain girl. Having a bunch of men riding your ovaries when they appear to be of no use is not an enviable position.

What you should do about them depends on where you are in your life and what your objectives and priorities are.

If you’re young and unencumbered and aiming to keep it that way, I say have fun with this situation. There are many people out there who advocate dating multiple people at one time so if you can pull it off I say go for it. My personal feeling is that you shouldn’t fuck more than one of them in any given 30-day period, but that’s just me. If you’re not trying to settle down right now, have your fun with these dudes but remember three things:

1. Be honest
2. Be safe
4. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. That completely defeats the purpose of being single.

However. If you are older and you are trying to mate or breed, you need to clean house my love. You’ve got a crop of duds here. Except maybe Mr. Persistent Sweetheart who seems to just need a kick in the ass. But you should throw him back anyway and make him earn his spot back. But the one night stand dude is a throwaway just by virtue of the fact that you already had a one night stand with him. Good friend isn’t ready for a relationship so he’s useless. And good friend’s brother seems to have some issues.

As you mentioned in your question, if you’re trying to get serious it’s pointless to waste time with men  who aren’t ripe for the pickings. So go out and find some real viable prospects that suit your purpose. And since you’re apparently irresistible, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble finding them.

That’s my advice, what say you guys? Is it okay for Ms, Cherifurieux to have her fun with these dudes if she’s not trying to settle down? Or should she cease and desist anyway? Anyone see potential in this group of candidates? Weigh in with your take in the comments.


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5 Comments

  • Malik says:

    Clearly you should have a threesome.

    if you don’t want to waste time, don’t waste time. Not that it’s going to be easy, but it sure is simple.

  • average chick says:

    I wouldn’t be bragging about the fish she is describing. None of them seem like great catches to me. If she just wants her ego stroked and wants to have fun then keep them around. However, if she is looking for something serious then throw all of them back in the ocean and try again.

  • Mabl says:

    “Just having a good time,” while fun is wasting time if your goal is “become prosperous and fruitful.” The one guy who was a horrible lay, though fun to hang out with needs to be let go, unless: a. he’s all right with just being platonic friends or b. sex to you is the lowest priority on your list when seeking a mate. You can explain or just stop replying to his texts. I agree with Max, that perhaps a little hashing of what is desired and where this is going (aka a kick in the pants) for Mr. Perfect Sweetheart would be fine, if you’re that into him. And baby/older brother ? Really? Do you wanna end up somewhere talking about how horrible he is, but you did it to yourself because the signs were there from the beginning? Is that where prosperous is for you??? I don’t think you are that into any of these guys or your feeling would be crystal. I would agree with Average, keep shopping.

  • 1_GoodLife says:

    I couldn’t have said it better. We’ve all been telling her this but she just doesn’t want to listen.


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