A Dizzy Girl’s Guide to Succeeding at Life
As those of you who know me in real life know, I'm a big time scatterbrain. I don't know if it's my age or my superior intelligence or what, but my brain is like a sieve. Actually no - it's more like a vortex of billions of thoughts swirling around and disappearing before you can do anything with them. Actually no - it's both. It's actually more like that machine with the lottery balls floating around in it and it's kinda hold to grab on to one because there are so many balls flying around in every direction. Maybe a bit like that.
Whatever. The point is that I am way scatterbrained. Pretty much always have been. And while I wish to be this cool, together person who needs only think a thought and it happens, the reality is that I can be a bit dizzy sometimes. I actually think it’s kinda charming.
But however cute and endearing my scatterbrain might be, the reality is that I’m an adult and I have business to take care of. And it can be a bit difficult to get shit done when you’re distracted by shiny objects whenever you try to do something. Or when you can’t remember from one moment to the next what said shit is. And that sick realization at the end of the night, just as you’re drifting off to sleep that OH SHIT I FORGOT TO PAY MY PHONE BILL! is a real vibe-killer.
After years and years of being chronically dizzy, I’ve come up with a few strategies that go a long way to helping me stay on top of most of my shit. And since I know I’m not the only one out there with the curse of the scatterbrain, I thought it was only right that I share them with all of you. So here we go – the dizzy girl’s – or guy’s, although I don’t think guys are really scatterbrained are they? Why is that? I think that when men are scatterbrained we think of them as being creative geniuses or something like that and it’s not considered to be a bad thing. Huh. That’s not fair is it?
Whew! Scatterbrain moment! Anyway. As I was saying, here we go: The Dizzy Girl’s (Or Guy’s) Guide to Succeeding at Life:
1. Everything in its place. All the time.
Now I’m not talking about useless practices like keeping your apartment tidy or your purse organized. While those are worthwhile and admirable endeavours, they’re not going to do much in the way of unscattering your brain. What I’m talking about here is coming up with the most logical place to keep the things you use most often and then forcing yourself to keep them there all the time, no matter what.
Let’s use my parka for example. First of all, part of the reason I chose my parka is that it has four important pockets that are big enough to keep the shit that I know must be kept in my coat pockets at all times. And so things like my cigarettes/lighter, phone, change purse, chapstick, and tissues each have a specific pocket that they must remain in. I can take them out to use them, but I must immediately return them to the right pocket. You know how us scatterbrained types love to just hastily shove shit in our pockets thinking that we’ll put it where it belongs later? And then later never comes and next thing you know you’re standing in the middle of a busy intersection with a soggy cigarette between your lips, desperately searching for your lighter? Yeah that doesn’t happen if you train yourself to always put your lighter back in the lighter pocket. Every.single.time.
2. Get a life manager.
This is so key. And it’s not as hard as it sounds. See every dizzy girl in life has one of those uber-disciplined friends that kinda makes you want to barf. You know the type I’m talking about – the ones that only say they’re going to do something once and the next thing you know they’ve done it. The ones who make lists and actually cross things off them? Yeah – those assholes. What you do is you throw yourself at the mercy of one of those types and beg them to help you remember shit. And they’ll do it, because ultra capable people like that love helping our kind. They want to see us become great like them. So get you one of those and beg them to please remind you to do the basic shit you can’t remember to do.
And speaking of reminders…
4. Learn the art of the reminder.
There’s a science to reminder alerts that most scatterbrained people overlook. You know how the default reminder time on most calendars is either 5 or 15 minutes? You need to rage against that. 15 minute reminders might work for the capable types who don’t need alerts to help them remember things. But for our kind? You need to match the reminder to the task.
For example, if I need to remember to bring a book to work with me tomorrow, I set the alert to go off at the moment at which I’m packing my purse before leaving for work. If the alarm goes off while I”m working out, I’ll either forget by the time my workout is over, or stop my workout to get the book and then forget to finish the workout. Either way I lose. What you gotta do is set the reminder to go off when you have both the time and the opportunity to act on it. Trust me, this works.
5. Know your limits.
No matter how helpful my handy dandy guide may be, at the end of the day a scatterbrain will always be a scatterbrain. That’s the hand we’ve been dealt. And so while trying to be better is a great thing, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Never ever get yourself involved in a situation that hinges on your ability to remember shit. Don’t say to yourself “oh I will definitely remember to do this – it’s too important to forget”. That’s poppycock. Nothing is too important for a scatterbrain to forget. Don’t ever be the cornerstone of any plan because you will flop the show and people will want to kill you. When you get out of your depth, you gotta be honest and say to yourself and others – yeah I’m probably not going to remember that.
I definitely had more things to put on this list but I didn’t write them down and now I can’t remember #scatterbrainlife
But what say you guys? Any scatterbrains out there feel me on this? What do you do to stay on top of your shit when your mind is all over the place? Speak on it in the comments.
know your limits. don’t be the pivotal person who has to remember something or the whole thing will fall down. you’re not that guy. stay in your lane.