Ask Max is my weekly advice column where I respond to readers' sex, dating, and relationship questions and the max-logic fam weighs in with their own advice. If you have a question that you need help with, click the Ask Max button at the top of the page and fill in the form. There's even an anonymous feature for those of you who are shy.
This week on Ask Max we have a question from a young lady wondering if she needs needs to be more feminine to get a man. Read on for the problem and my advice:
Max! One of my guy friends told me I don’t have successful relationships because I share to many interests as guys. Basically I’m just really cool and I’m not “sensitive” enough. He said I would make the perfect friends with benefits. Is this true? Do I need to soften up?
I love this question because it’s kind of singing my life. And because I’m trying to be more succinct in my advice I’m going to cut to the chase and say yes. You do need to soften up.
Being cool as shit myself, I’ve learned the hard way that being cool does a girl no favours in the romance department. Yes it’s true that when you’re the kind of girl who likes so-called male things and tells so-called male jokes. men will like to be around you and think you’re awesome. Yes it’s true that you will have more fun because men are way funner to hang around than women are. Male friends and acquaintances will always be happy to have you around because you’re one of the boys.
Here’s the thing though. Most men don’t want to wife down one of the boys.
If you are attractive and fun and capable of having sex with no strings, men will flock to you. That’s for sure. They will want to fuck you and talk to you afterward and – like your boy said – you’ll have no shortage of fwb types. But if you want to be wifey you’re going to have to learn to act like a girl.
I’m not saying stop being cool – I would never suggest such a thing. But I wouldn’t open with that, if you know what I mean. If you are dirty and potty-mouthed around men you don’t know, they will form an opinion about you based on that. And without the frame of reference of your other awesome qualities, that opinion is essentially going to amount to jump off. So let men see other sides of you before you bring out your dude side and you’ll have more luck. It definitely worked for me.
That’s my advice, what say you readers? Do you agree that being too cool can hurt a girl’s chances in the romance department, or do you think our girl here is just barking up the wrong tree? Ladies has your coolness ever hindered your personal life? Men would you wife a girl who was one of the boys? Weigh in with your take on it in the comments.