I have the best dad in the world. I know a lot of people say that, but in my case it happens to be true. Anyone who has ever met my dad can attest to the fact that he's awesome. My dad is smart as hell and he's generous to a fault. And while I'm sure he wishes to God my sister and I would just get married and settle down so he'd stop having to take care of us, he never shows it. He's just there.
I’ve always believed that my dad can do anything – fix anything, learn anything, solve any problem. I can’t think of a time in life where he ever wanted to do something, get something, build something, or give something and he didn’t succeed. If he has to do something he just does it – no dithering, no hesitation, no doubt. He just does it.
My dad is focused and dedicated and he works his ass off to provide for his family. I really can’t think of a time when I’ve needed or wanted something and didn’t get it from him. He supports my sister and me in everything, even though he doesn’t really get what the hell we do with ourselves.
Of course when I was young I never really gave much thought to how lucky I am to have the best father in the entire world. Growing up in my safe little homogenized world it seemed like everyone had a dad like mine so it didn’t seem like anything special that my father was always, always there. I thought it was just what dads did. But now that I’m old and my horizons have expanded, the ratio of friends I have with good dads to friends I have with shitty dads or no dads at all has shifted wildly. And so I’ve learned to appreciate my dad, to be grateful as hell to have him there as a safety net.
But as lucky as I am to have a great dad, I can’t help but wonder sometimes how my dad’s awesomeness affects me. We all know that women with fucked up fathers often grow up to be a little messed up themselves, but what about women with good dads? If having a dad who mistreated you makes you grow up to not to expect decent treatment from anyone, what does having a father who treats you like gold do? And if having a father who was never there makes us grow up unable to count on anyone, what does having a father who is always there do?
It goes without saying that no man I’ve ever been involved with comes anywhere close to being as amazing as my dad. There’s nothing that any Mr. Max can or has done for me that my father can’t do better, faster, and without strings. That’s just so fucking obvious that I don’t even waste time thinking about it. If I need something in life that I can’t get on my own, I just ask my dad. No matter what’s going on in my personal life, my father is always the first place I go for anything I need.
I’ve always been the girl who doesn’t need a man. For most of my adult life, I’ve happily skipped along down my single path without ever stopping to wish there was a man at home waiting for me. I never daydream about marrying a rich man who will fulfill my every earthly desire. Because I have a dad here who gives me whatever I need. I never have to worry about how I’m going to get by if the man in my life should leave me, because I know my dad is there to give me everything he did. And more.
So lately I’ve been wondering if being a daddy’s girl makes me a less-than-ideal girlfriend. Women often caution each other against becoming involved with mama’s boys. We all know that if a man is too attached to his mom it’s hell to pay for us – we’ll never ever be able to compete with her. I never hear people say that about women and their dads, but I can’t help but wonder if the reverse is true.
I feel like it must be demoralizing sometimes to be with a woman with an awesome dad. To know that you won’t ever be the first place she goes for help or support. To know that – no matter what you do – you’ll never match up against her daddy. Why would a man bother to try to be great for his girl if he knows he’s never going to be as great as her dad in her eyes?
What do you guys think? Do only girls with shitty or absent fathers have daddy issues or do the ones with good dads fall victim to this too? Ladies do you have great dads? How do you think that affects your personal relationships? And men – does your girl’s relationship with her dad ever get in the way of he relationship with her?