Ask Max is my weekly advice column where I respond to readers' sex, dating, and relationship questions and the max-logic fam weighs in with their own advice. If you have a question that you need help with, click the Ask Max button at the top of the page and fill in the form. There's even an anonymous feature for those of you who are shy.
So I like this guy, blah blah blah.
I have known him sorta since 2008 because he used to hang out with the same people I did for a while. He was chubby back then and just not my type so I never noticed him or cared to get to know him at all.
About three, three and a half years passed and [one day I noticed] he was my friend on Facebook (I guess I had forgotten). I started up a chat with him because I figured he’d be cool to hang out with, you know just to kick it. He seemed very, very interested in hanging out so one night I decided to go over to his place. Unfortunately he is 23 and lives with his grandma. But I digress.
He had lost all of his chub! Every bit of it. He was lean; his smile was contagious, his eyes piercing. And charming! He could charm the skin off a snake, ya hear! He was sensual and touchy feely and more than accommodating when it came to my needs. ALL OF MY NEEDS. He had his room all romantic. Candles, smelly goods. I have never actually had my breath taken away until that night. It was surreal.
Anyways, with all that AND the exhilarating foreplay, I surrendered to him and we sorta had sex. Once I finally let him, he didn’t even get it all the way in and he was moaning like a girl and came. He seemed nervous after that. Real nervous. He kept saying” I don’t normally do that.” He was standoffish and just plain nervous! I stayed the night and went home immediately the next morning because the vibe was super weird.
[After that] he didn’t call me for a month and now all of a sudden he’s wanting to hang out and flirting with me like he used to. Well talk and then he won’t call for a while and then we’ll talk, so on and so forth. It’s been going like this for about two weeks. Wtf! What is this nonsense? I called him a few times before this and he never answered so what I’m thinking is that he wanted to get his nut and I happened to oblige or he has serious insecurities? Either way my feelings are hurt and I don’t want them to be. I either want to further this or I want to move on without having feelings for him. Because he completely made me fall for him that night and he had every intention of doing so. Help!
I hate to say it girl but it looks like you got played. You gave this guy the good without him having to put up much effort (lighting candles and making his room smell good does not equal effort, especially considering he probably swiped the candles from granny) and now he’s over it. He hits you up now and then to make sure you don’t go completely off him so he can still smash should the need arise, but that seems to be the full extent of his interest in you.
It is also possible that he’s feeling insecure about his flop performance with you but really that’s neither here nor there. Because the truth is that if he was feeling you, he’d be working overtime to get a do-over and knock your socks off. But since he’s not doing that, I think we can safely conclude that he’s just not that into you. Word to Dr. J.
I know it does you no good for me to say not to get your feelings hurt because this guy is so not worth it, but don’t get your feelings hurt. This guy is so not worth it. Throw this fishie back honey. There’s plenty more worthless ones like him in the sea.
That’s my take on it – what say you dear readers? Is there potential in this dude? Are his insecurities about his weak sauce fuck getting in the way of their romance? Should she stick it out or should she bounce? Weigh in with your advice in the comments.