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Ask Max is my weekly advice column where I respond to readers' sex, dating, and relationship questions and the max-logic fam weighs in with their own advice. If you have a question that you need help with, click the Ask Max button at the top of the page and fill in the form. There's even an anonymous feature for those of you who are shy.

Hello Max!

I’m new to your site and need your help desperately. I’m involved with a man that I love wholeheartedly and I really want to show him exactly how I feel, however I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’ve always been known to truly throw down in the sheets and have knocked more than my fair share of boots, but no one has ever meant as much as he does. I was wondering if you would be able to give a play by play on how I can make this boy scream my name. I’m 5’5 with a figure like the late great Ms. Monroe herself (hence the name…get it) however I’m more bottom and top heavy(wink). I really want to learn how to use my curves to get my man tongue tied and toes curling in the best ways. Do you have any tips / tricks that you’ve picked up throughout your sexual adventures? I’m very open minded from cum in the face to anal I’m your girl I just need to know the fine details!

Help a girl out,
The not so sex symbol

Da Black Marilyn monRoe

I love this question. Not just because it’s about my favourite subject (sex), but because it’s rare that I get a question from a woman who just wants to please her man. It warms my heart.

But first things first. Short of fucking your man to get a sense of exactly what he likes and how he likes it, it’s near to impossible for me to give you specific tips to use on this specific man. But I will say this. You’re clearly willing and enthusiastic so it looks like you’re well on your way.

Now the thing to remember about being great in bed is that it starts well before the bedroom. I’d say about 90% of what it takes to blow a man’s mind is mental and as far as I’m concerned it comes down to three things:

1. Be confident

I guess it’s a bit of a cliche to say that the key to blowing minds in the bedroom is confidence but – like all cliches – the shit is true. You absolutely cannot drive anyone wild if you don’t believe you are the hottest, sexiest, most dangerous thing that ever crossed his path. That’s just the way it is. You have all these Marilyn-esque curves and that’s a great thing, believe me. But they aren’t going to do you any good if you’re crossing your arms over your epic breasts because you don’t want him to see them, or you refuse to take your clothes off so he won’t see your beautiful round ass up close. And if you insist on keeping the lights off when you’re fucking, you’re useless.

2. Be talkative

This goes hand in hand with being confident, because I’m a firm believer that what you say while fucking is almost as important as what you do. If you want to make him feel good, let him know that. Ask him what he likes, tell him what you want him to do to you. A lot of women are too shy to talk nasty in the bedroom, but not my readers right? Right! You want to blow your man’s mind? Let him know how much you love what he does to you. If you let him know he’s fucking your brains out, that will make him feel like you’re fucking his brains out. So tell him he’s fucking your brains out. Feel me?

3. Be adventurous

Judging from what you said in your question it seems like you’re good with this one, but let me reiterate it for the slow class. Eradicate the word “no” from your sexual vocabulary. If a man wants to experience something with you, unless it involves excrement you should at least be willing to give it a shot. No man is going to feel completely satisfied if there’s something out there in the universe that he wants to try that his woman won’t let him try. So let go of your inhibitions and your arbitrary ideas of what’s nasty and go for it.

2. Be adaptable

This is the secret to success I think. And to illustrate the point I will refer you back to this post which you might have missed since you’re new to the blog. When I wrote this post I got a lot of feedback about the concept of memory foam pussy because it is so key. Like I said at the beginning of the post, men are different. What is hawtness to one is slackness to another and so on and so forth. So the key to really pleasing a man in bed is to please that man. Do not give him your generic, head-thrown-back-in-ecstasy pose with your standard “oh God” moans. Don’t follow your regular sequence of moves without regard to his reaction. Fuck him the way he likes it. Study him. Pay attention to his reactions. Learn how to make him feel good. If you’re a big mouth but he likes a silent fuck then shut the fuck up and give him what he likes. I’m all for women making their needs known in the bedroom and making sure we get ours, but if your goal is to drive your man wild, sometimes you just have to take one for the team and do what it takes to make him happy, even if it’s not exactly what works for you.

And there you have it – my take on what to do to knock that boy’s socks off. So go out and get you some and come back and tell me how it went.

But what say you guys? What advice would you give a woman who wants to drive a man wild? Speak your piece in the comments.