If I have one great talent in life it’s knowing how things should be done. I can walk into just about any situation, get the lay of the land, and say “here are all the things you’re not doing right – do this instead” and save people hours of thought. Even if it’s something I’ve never done before, even if it’s a situation I’ve never been in, I fucking rock at telling people what they should do.
The problem with being great at giving advice is that you have to wait for people to ask you for it. If you just run around giving unsolicited advice all the time, you’re just a bossy asshole. And no one likes a bossy asshole.
But this is where having your very own blog comes in handy. Because while in real life, offering advice unprompted is not a good look, here at max-logic it’s my prerogative. Word to Bobby Brown.
So gather round, dear men, I have something for you today. I know you’re struggling; trying to understand the women in your life. I know we are some baffling creatures at times. I know. I know you feel like you’re doing all you can to make your woman happy and sometimes it seems that the more you try the less happy she is. I know you all get to a point where you feel like you might as well just do what the fuck you want because it’s impossible to please the bitch no matter what you do.
Don’t give up hope, my dear men. There is a way for you to make your girl happy and it isn’t even difficult. It won’t cure all the problems in your relationship and it won’t make her stop getting mad about the toilet seat. It won’t last forever and you will have to do it repeatedly but do you want to know the one thing you can do (that you’re probably not doing enough) that will make your girl happy?
Tell her she’s pretty.
That’s it. It really is. All women – no matter how pretty or ugly they are – love to hear that they’re pretty. And most men do a piss-poor job of remembering to say it. I can count on less than one hand the number of times any of the men I’ve been involved with in my life have told me I’m pretty, and most of the women I know feel the same way. And really it’s just the simplest thing.
Just like sex is the grease that keeps the gears of a relationship running smoothly, feeling validated is the grease that smooths the cogs of a woman’s brain. And nothing makes a woman feel validated like telling her she’s pretty. When you tell a woman she’s pretty, she softens and curls up like a docile kitten. It takes the edge off her. When a woman feels validated she stands a bit taller, puts an extra little switch in her step. She’s more even-tempered and less miserable. And the easiest way to make a woman feel validated is to tell her she’s pretty.
It’s so simple. And yet men so rarely do it.
Do it properly though. Don’t interrupt her when she’s in the middle of giving you shit for letting some random fast ass heaux rub your bald head by saying “you’re so pretty”. That’s doing it wrong. But when you’re lying next to each other in post-coital bliss and her hair is everywhere and her makeup is smeared over her face? Say it then: you’re so pretty. Don’t give her a flippant “oh you know you’re pretty too” when she busts you eye-raping the chick who just sashayed past your table at the restaurant. That’s not doing it right. But when she gets out of the shower in the morning and her face is freshly washed? Kiss her on the cheek and say it: you look so pretty.
Men, believe me when I tell you that the key to keeping your girl happy is not to blow her back out regularly. It’s not bringing home a fat paycheque or taking the garbage out before it starts to stink. It’s not letting her have the last word because “women like the last word” and it’s not remembering the anniversary of the day you asked her out on your first date. It’s not paying for plane tickets or walking on the traffic side of the street.
It’s as simple as this: tell your girl she’s pretty. Do it early, do it often. It will make her happy. Just trust me on this.