Ask Max: I Can’t Nut

This week on Ask Max we have a question from Chucc Taylor who has an issue with not being able to um, spread his seed. Check it out:
So Max I got a problem and I hope you can help a brotha out. I have delayed ejaculation. Usually this would turn out to be a good thing becuz I can last longer, but it isn’t. During sex or blowjobs I can’t nut. And besides being left full and not being able to blow my load I leave my girl feeling like a failure at her blowjobs and her pussy and I can’t have that keep happening. I need advice. I need help. I NEED TO BUST! Hell I need Jesus. Any help would be great. I love the way you write and keep it real. So please keep up the good work and thanks for giving me somethin to read at work that keeps me from killing my co-workers.Peace, Love, and Soul
Ya Boy, Chucc Taylor

Since I personally have no experience with this issue, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Darius (not his real name of course) to help Chucc out. Read on for his response.
First off let me tell you that I feel you homie. I actually have the same exact problem. I didn’t know there was a name for it, so I took to the interwebs to try and find a solution for your (and in turn MY) problem. Seems like the key  is to find out what exactly is causing this problem.
I came across this on a Google search of the topic. I’ll include the link just in case you want to read up some more on the subject…

Delayed ejaculation can result from psychological or physical causes.

Common psychological causes include:

  • A strict religious background causing the person to view sex as sinful
  • Lack of attraction for a partner
  • Conditioning caused by unique or atypical masturbation patterns
  • Traumatic events (such as being discovered in masturbation or illicit sex, or learning one’s partner is having an affair)

I’ll assume since you called her “your girl” you actually have feelings for this woman, so attraction isn’t the issue. You probably don’t have a strict religious background since you seem to have no problem engaging in premarital sex. So I’m willing to guess you probably choke the chicken a little bit too much on your off days and it’s essentially fucking up your sex life.
If that’s the case, you simply need to give your dick and Palmetta, a rest.
When conversations about boys and masturbation come up, it’s always looked at as the act of simulating sex on yourself. What they don’t tell you is the good grip you have on your Johnson will hardly, if ever, be the same type of grip you’ll encounter when you enter inside of a woman.
It takes you 30-45 mins to nut with your girl right? How long does it take you to do it by yourself? I’m willing to bet it takes a fraction of the time, probably leaving you confused and your girl pissed that your hand can bring you more pleasure much more quickly than she can.
I used to jack off like twice a day just for the sensation of a nut. Sometimes, more than that. Eventually I realized, I’d be disinterested when it came to pussy, or it took an absurdly long time to bust a nut. And I didn’t nut off of straight head until I got to college…even then I can count on ONE hand  how many times that’s happened.
If masturbation is your problem, try this. If you know you’re about to get some on a specific day, don’t masturbate for a week before it. Your body, ever used to the daily release, will build up a good reserve for you to share with your woman. You’ll find that after a week of waiting, you’re pretty much standing at full attention and your sexual experience will be that much more intense, since your body didn’t get it’s normal release.
Other than that, the best thing you can do is talk to your girl about it. I’ve left plenty of women breathless in the sack, only for them to be disappointed because all of my wits are still about me. I explain to women it’s not really their fault, explain to them what my issue is, and I haven’t met a woman who hasn’t understood my problem.
True enough, they’re not always happy about it, but I mean…as long as you make a woman’s eyes roll into the back of her head on a consistent basis, they’re really not going to argue with you too much about it.
So stop jacking off, talk to your girl, and read that website I put in this response earlier. They have all types of methods and stuff to help you deal with the myriad of factors causing this problem. Good luck to you and your lady and I hope the advice works for you because really…every woman wants to be skeeted on and you’re doing a great disservice by not giving her what she needs.
What say you guys? Men have you ever had this problem? Got any tips for Chucc? Ladies have you ever felt a way because your man couldn’t get to the finish line? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 6

  1. Malik says:

    I’ve been there. Shit, I’m still half way there. I’ve never cum from head in my life and I doubt I will in the future so I let go of that dream. I used to (still do sometimes too) have real heavy anxiety about finishing early or whether I did enough, so there have been times where I frustrated myself by over-thinking about trying to cum. Just try to not to make it a chief concern.

  2. Candi says:

    Wow!! After 10 years with a past partner, I’m still (or at least was) scarred because I felt like it was my problem. LMAO!! All the more reasons to wait to have sex. It was great! Fucking for hours at a time but damn!! It can really kill a woman’s self esteem after a while. Thanks for the enlightening!

    Oh yea… after about 2 years, he eventually got right. Wish I would have known this back then… smh

  3. Ray. says:

    30-45 mins is long?? He must have meant one hr and 30-45 mins. If I come in less than 30 mins I feel like I’ve failed myself. Usually she’s shaking and twitching so I’ll kno she enjoyed it but to me I feel like I failed. Now not comin from head does suck (no pun). Esp. since its so I love it so much. It hurts my heart not being able to lay back and enjoy one of my fav activities and then catching a great nap just moments after its complete…..I don’t even wanna think about it anymore…I’m out

  4. HardTimes says:

    Hey man, I’ve been there and it’s rough. Hell I still deal with this to this day.

    What I’ve found out is that don’t focus on cumming, it’s not always gonna happen. It’s essentially the same advice you give to a girl that’s never came from sex before. Relax, focus on the sensations, don’t think of an orgasm as a goal and keep trying new things until you find something that feels hella good and then stick with it (for that session.)

    I know this sounds obvious but Have you tried different positions that aren’t normally in your repertoire? First time I ever came with a girl, it was with a modified doggy from a different angle, and all of a sudden I went from hour long sessions to cumming all over the place.

    I’ve found out that the same things don’t work all the time. For a while that modified doggy was the greatest discovery ever, but it didn’t work with the next girl. Most recently, I just started cumming with my new chick (in a don’t know what to call it position, but it’s me on my knees, resting on my heels, my girl is on her back with her legs up on my legs so that we’re groin to groin and I have my hands wrapped around her waist so that I have full control over angle and penetration.) When I want it to, it’s a lot of simulation to the tip of my dick which resulted in a nice cum for me (through a Condom!)

    I’m rambling but essentially, both of you need to stop making your orgasm the goal. That puts a lot of pressure on both of you, which in effect makes it harder to cum for you. If this is something that is bugging your girl, you need to sit down with her, explain that she feels hella good, but that you have a hard time getting over the final edge cuz you don’t want to stop (even if it’s not the truth, because the last thing you want is for her to feel insecure about her pussy. Tell her whatever it takes to get her to relax about the situation.)

    Focus on her, focus on finding small tweaks to feel good and realize that when it finally happens, it’s most likely gonna come out of nowhere when you’re not expecting it.


    If any of you guys ever find a way to cum from head, hit me up and let me know, that’s the one thing I have yet to accomplish

  5. Shogun says:

    The internet..the only place where more guys have a problem with not cuming rather than cuming to early. I feel extremely sorry for all the guys who can’t cum from head because it is phenomenal. But in any case, I have had the very occasional time where I couldn’t cum and I would advise using lube….Lot’s of it. I can’t imagine a girl still being super wet after 45 min of pounding so using some sort of water based lube and making it SUPER slippery really helps her walls really juicy which should help to bring you over the edge

  6. Chucc Taylor says:

    Yo Darius thanks for the advice man fa real. Wanna know something funny? Both my parents are pastors. It’s been drilled into my head since I became a teenage to not have sex til marriage but I fucked that up already. So it could be that. But I doubt it. and I masterbate only once a day usually. So since this girl came into my life I gave up on masterbating all together to “build up”. It still hasn’t work and thanks for the website I’ma check that out. Y’all the best for this cuz I was seriously stressin over this man.

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