Oh You Can’t Get Sex? Here’s Why.


So to shed some much-needed light on this discussion, the Sardonically-Barbed one is here to weigh in on why we gals just can’t seem to get our itches scratched when we need to.

Women don’t understand men as much as they think they do.

Let’s talk about sex.
Specifically, let’s talk about the idea of getting sex “whenever we want”
Everyone knows what the general consensus is (be it true or false)
Which is:
Women can get sex whenever they want.
Now one of my favorite bloggers Max delves deep into this issue and she makes some salient points about the inability of women to harness that particular superpower.
However she neglects one very basic fact of life.
Men. Like. To. Hunt.

Max’s note: I’ve been saying that. I said in the original post that this is why. It’s also the reason I staunchly oppose putting the moves on men. I just want to state that for the record. 

Let’s set the groundwork.
Men know that they get horny all the time.
So when we are not in a loving and fulfilling relationship (read: getting sex on the regular) we tend to sow lots of “seeds of interest”.
That is we at least test the waters for potential partners so that when we are hit with “sudden onset konji” we have options other than blue balls or lotion.
Now it’s quite possible that women are completely unfamiliar with SOK and the helplessness it sometimes instills in its victims.
But I don’t think that’s it.
Society has frowned upon lascivious women. So they have hidden their symptoms well enough, so much so that even a man that they’re interested in wont notice.

Not only do men not know what to look for in a deeply horny woman, but we’ve been trained so well by women that the mere idea that the girl we’re interested in could one day be uncontrollably horny…is well…anathema.

So Miss X, you’re horny.
And you actually want to get some.
So what do you do?
You pick up the phone and you proposition the guy at the top of your List-that-will-never-be-seen.
Now this guy may or may not have had sex with you in the past
But the truth is that if you weren’t feeling particularly frisky, that dude would not have a chance.
At least not a chance that wasn’t prevaricated by dinner, movies, alcohol, and copious amounts of conversation.
So you call him up and you serve up sex with you on a platter.

That guy MUST turn it down.
If he ever wants to have sex with you again (as in multiple times)? He has to…
Because he didn’t catch you.
He didn’t break you down
He didn’t lure you in, make you comfortable, and then swoop in for his target like the avenging eagle he is.

You devalued the prize.
And rather than take it in its “less-than” state, he decided to forgo it and you until you’re past your moment of weakness and its worth something again.

So yes, women CAN get sex whenever they want.
They just have to make the guy work for it
(or at least make him think he’s working for it)

If women knew men as well as they thought they did, then they would know this simple rule.
It actually shocks me that they don’t
And that many are still confused as to why a man would turn down goodies when proffered.

So what do you guys think? Men do you agree that pussy that is freely offered is not worth taking? Women do you think this is why you can’t get it when you want it? Weigh in with your thoughts in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 22

  1. Keona says:

    Dudes are evil.

  2. Malik says:

    Depends Maxie. It’s more truth than fiction that men generally enjoy going through the hunt. There are however enough exceptions that it becomes a noteworthy place of discussion in and of itself. One of the largest exceptions is if that woman has a reputation, or to phrase it in a more accurate way how intrigued are we by the idea of having sex with her.

    For example, if a man has never tried anal with a lass before and he was positive that anal was on the table with this woman he would probably hop, skip, and jump at the opportunity because he’s intrigued by the idea. I’d like to note, these have to be SPECIFIC things. All women say they have the wettest pussy, bombest head, and so on and so forth. That does get the hamster running on the porn wheel in my head.

    Other exceptions include being in a drought, attempting to get over a woman, your first time, post-coital bonuses like some sort of cooked/prepared meal, and more and more and more.

    1. Ray. says:


      Well put Sir. Very well put.

  3. $l!Cc@s$l!mE says:

    All I heard from the original post is that any “SELF RESPECTING” woman can NOT have sex anytime she wants. If you put ANY kind of standard on who you sleep with, that knocks the list of potential down greatly. But in this post you guys touched on something. While a man with any respect for the “game” is an eagle, we have to scavenge at times too. Hunting season doesn’t always bear plentiful spoils… but in a way you are correct. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I myself have turned down the preverbial “fish that jumped in the boat” because it doesn’t sit right that a woman would ever give it away no strings attached. What is the prostitution industry based on then? I would ALMOST rather pay for it, than walk into some looney toons trap and get an anvil dropped on my head in the form of some nutty chick claiming to be pregnant a day later, an unexpected girlfriend, or spoiled/tainted goods.

  4. Depends on the presentation.

    If she’s a chick I’ve been chatting it up with for a while and she never indirectly or directly shot down the idea of us getting together (and we talk about sex all the time), then I would not be dismayed in the least if she brought up the idea of us getting together & I would not turn her down.

    If she’s a chick I’ve been chatting it up with for a while and she regularly dismissed even the slightest notion of us simply, say, having drinks at her/my place (let alone any allusions toward us being physically intimate on any kind of level), then her suddenly bringing up the idea of us getting together would send up red flags for me.

    Color me lazy.

    Granted, the 1st scenario is more than likely me sowing seeds for future potential, but if she beats me to the punch about it, then technically that’s on her.

    Now if it was a situation in which we talked regularly about anything BUT sex – no “prepping” – and she brought it up all of a sudden on her own…if I was single, found her attractive & liked her vibe, I’d investigate further. I wouldn’t flat-out turn her down though.

    I don’t buy into “the hunt”, cuz I associate that with hunt —> fuck once —> get bored —> on to the next one, and I’m anti-alla that. It’s not a game to me, and I like regular sex partners. Sue me.

  5. is a million bucks less valueable because someone gives it to you?? no, its still a million bucks… soo if a girl gives me the pussy, if i valued her pussy before she gave me, i would value it after.

    1. $liCc says:

      Then you get that milli, and find out it’s monopoly money…. hahahaha

  6. SnarkyChic says:

    Hmmm…this makes sense to me on some level but it scoffs in the face of the age old adage that men will screw just about anything. I don’t know if I feel like throwing out that old wives tale just yet. Against my better judgement I do partially agree that your average chick has a slightly better chance than your average man to procure chex randomly and on the regular.

    1. Malik says:

      If you’ve seen some of the gila monsters that are pregnant or have a man, it is still true. I think a lot of men don’t or wouldn’t believe a woman if she propositioned sex. Not necessarily because of the hunt, but because of the nature of women. I would still put in the effort to at least still check it out.

      1. TJ says:

        Dead at “gila monsters”

  7. streetztalk says:

    I no-sign this:

    “That guy MUST turn it down.
    If he ever wants to have sex with you again (as in multiple times)? He has to…
    Because he didn’t catch you.
    He didn’t break you down
    He didn’t lure you in, make you comfortable, and then swoop in for his target like the avenging eagle he is.

    You devalued the prize.”

    Only young dudes might subscribe to this notion. If you are feelin a woman, and you want to beat, and she hits you up with the “what you doin tonite, wanna come over and chill?” your work is already done and now you have to seal the deal! Women will also play a little hard ot get (or should) to make us feel better like we actually “did” something to get it, but turning away pums that are offered by someone I want to proposition anyway? Nah son.

    Unless the chick is wack, thirsty, or dude isnt interested, he aint turning that down man…

    1. i agree with streetz. if i’m feeling a chick and she served it up on a platter then guess what? i’m dining in that night.

    2. max says:

      All of this right here is why ladies love Streetzie. The man has sense!

  8. Wild Cougar says:

    Sounds complex to me. All I can say is that every time I’ve been turned down, its been by a man I was close to on a friend level. Two of the guys were f buddies and we became close friends. One guy was a friend I’d never gotten naked with, although both of us admitted attraction. I think in those cases, they just didn’t see me that way anymore. Then one guy I was sorta friends with, I propositioned out of the blue…he didn’t believe me. I had to talk him into it. Then later he decided he didn’t want easy sex, he wanted the chase. *shrugs. Every guy is different.

  9. Wild Cougar says:

    When I had that problem of being super horny before I was a cougar, my girlfriend told me I needed a Tuesday man. She said girls should have a guy that’s just for that. Then date other men. That way you don’t mess up your future man relationship cause you’re horny. She told me to place an ad. You get a buffet of men to choose from. Find the one you like, meet him screen him, audition him, put him to work. When you are done with him, toss him and get another one.. Very simple very easy. Shoot, if men can do it, why can we have the dude just for fun and the guy you’re dating. Just be discreet about it.

  10. Lover O'Fwomen says:

    There comes a time in a mans lives where he just doesn’t want to play games anymore. Your job ladies is to recognize if your chosen target fits the later. If he’s honest with himself he’ll be honest with you, therefore a moderate direct approach in ice breaking would be my recommendation. If he’s not honest with himself, you don’t want it anyway.

  11. Emilian says:

    Well I have been with many women in my life and I can tell you something – this need to hunt thing is bullshit. Actually I am turned off by women, who play it safe and wait for the guy to hunt them. I am really excited by women who openly express their desire.

  12. someone@someone.com says:

    not only is the inaccurate, this is annoying to read, you should be ashamed of yourself, stop with this dumb blog you are a goddamn idiot, sincerely.

  13. Farty says:


    If a female approached me for sex, under any circumstances, I would say YES immediately. I wouldn’t think less of her, it wouldn’t “devalue the prize,” or any other shit like that.

    If a pretty woman wants sex, all she has to do is stop not letting men have sex with them. If the woman is ugly, she may have to *gasp* ASK for it!

    But no, set up the endless inane hoops for men to jump through; for only then are we “worthy” of penetrating you.

  14. Everett says:

    Alright, I’m might be thoroughly hated for this and what it says of women, but I only believe that the reason men won’t have sex on call is because without teasing with sex, there really isn’t anything else to allot of women. Aside from allure, the feminine psychology is very young and poorly suited to handling any issues where sexuality cannot be used. Men don’t like to hunt, we’ve just been given a single prize, put on the highest of pedestals at the cost of true feminine engagement. To complain and expect better is not gentlemanly. Some men can be consumed by genome sexuality and some men can get past it, often ending up looking down on women for their lack of true contribution.

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