It's 6:58pm on Wednesday and I'm asshole tired. I've been up since 4 o c'lock, spent my morning sitting through mind-numbing meetings, and fought to stay awake all afternoon back at my desk. I want to go to sleep and the only thing standing between me and my pillow top is writing this post.
But instead of writing I watched the first episode of Milk + Honey. Then I logged in to gchat to see if there was anyone online I felt like talking to. There wasn’t. So I decided that I can’t write at my desk and moved to the living room; where I proceeded to take a bunch of hipstaprints and re-read the text messages I got this morning. Then I said to myself “Okay! Just write your post and you can go to bed!” and promptly headed over to Twitter.
By rights I shouldn’t even be going through this right now. Every weekend for the last year or so, I have vowed to spend one afternoon writing all the week’s post so that I don’t have to scramble to write things the night before. And instead every week I lie in bed and read and watch Ally McBeal.
This is me though, undisciplined through and through. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Because I lack discipline.
I would love to be the kind of person who just wakes up in the morning and gets shit done. Just for one day of my life I’d like to get up in the morning and immediately work out instead of needing 45 minutes to “dick around”. I’d like to start a work project the minute it’s assigned and not 45 minutes before it’s due. I’d like to go to bed at a reasonable hour when I have a client meeting in the morning instead of staying up all hours of the night hanging out on Google +. I’d like to be the kind of person who saves 10% of my income, who fills up my RRSP room every year, and keeps track of every penny I spend. I’d like to be that person, but I’m not.
Instead I’m a person who comes up with a million reasons why it’s okay for me to do everything tomorrow. I’m the person who can justify spending my rent money on shoes. The person who is on gchat right now when she should be writing. The person who will save next paycheque, fill my RRSP room next year, quit smoking on her next birthday.
I sometimes try to be more disciplined, but for some strange reason I never stick with it. Despite the fleeting glimpses I get from time to time of the immense feeling of satisfaction that comes with getting shit done when I’m supposed to, I always allow myself to be seduced by the allure of wutlessness. Laziness is like stuffing yourself with fattening food – it feels good at the time but it makes you sick later. And fat.
All the same though I suspect I’ll be undisciplined all my life. Because in order for me to break myself out of this, I’d have to be disciplined enough to…be disciplined. And I’m pretty sure that won’t work.
But what about you guys? Are you out in the world getting shit done or do you let laziness prevail like me? Speak on it in the comments.
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Who hangs out on Google+???
this is my life’s story. i procrastinate like no other. even when i start something early, i congratulate myself for starting early, then reward myself by leaving it alone, until i have no time to get it done. i know exactly how much time it takes me to do something, and instead i’ll put it off and have to rush through it.
Everything you’re not makes you everything you are Max! changing any parts of you would decrease awesomeness… so don’t sweat.
I do pretty well with being disciplined when I must, I just procrastinate till the very last possible minute. But that’s because I work better under pressure.
If you look up the definition of procrastination on Wikipedia you would see my face. Last week for my midterms I didn’t study for one of them until the day of, smh. Mind you I had FOUR days off prior to the test to use to study, I didn’t….buttt I aced it. However, in certain areas of my life I am SUPER disciplined…like paying my bills on time and keeping my car/home clean. I also take my work assignments seriously and my volunteer time as well. I want to piggy-back on what Most said and tell you to not change. Do what works for you and makes you happy…I mean being super disciplined really is for the birds, right?
I’m a procrastinator. What I’m learning with the girls is that I can get away with that sometimes, but not others. Gotta pick my battles.
And I was up all night because those dang girls have decided that 3:45am is when all the cool kids get up and start looking for food and playtime. My God.
I’m going to comment on this post…in a minute;-)
Don’t change maxie…for what? It’s worked for 36 years right?
I’m a procrastinator..always have been…always will be.
i think i’m lazy and i procrastinate when it comes to certain things that i’m interested in doing (working out, writing for pleasure, reading for pleasure, etc). when it comes to things i like but don’t really enjoy thoroughly i lolly gag. i find every excuse not to do it right away.
OMG… i have a huge problem with discipline and Procrastination…. it is soo horrible. and it seeps itself in everything i do, truthfully, i had originally planned to write a comment about an hour after your post was published, but i got carried away with procrastination, so 12 hours later, im back here trying to do it. perfect example.
OMG this is so me! It’s like I’m speaking through you or you’re channeling me lol. But since you don’t know me and it’s not that deep, I’ll just say thank you for this. I am not alone lol
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with being a procrastinator. I believe that some people just work a hell of a lot better with the pressure on them. Now bills and other financial dealings, I don’t procrastinate on (the beauty of auto pay). But others such as getting to work on time (I guess that would fall under financial dealings-thank goodness for flexi-schedule), homework assignments, etc, are my biggest faults. But by some intergalactic force that I can’t see, I produce damn near perfect products. Its the pressure principle? in other words, don’t change. You have your own way of doing things and it works.
“the allure of wutlessness”…killing myself with laugh right now! Ha!