The Theme Song


The purpose of the theme song as I understand it is to bolster you when you’re feeling down or shy or insecure or something. You hear it in your head and it gives you the extra little pep in your step you need to get through whatever your latest crisis is. It’s like your own personal cheering squad. In your head. Sounds a little trite I suppose, but hey, whatever works right?

I’ve been thinking lately that I should have a theme song of my own. Lord knows there are definitely moments when I could use a little boost. But the process of choosing one is a little overwhelming. There are just so many choices! See there are so many disparate (and random) aspects of my personality that I don’t know which ones I should represent in my theme song.

I’ve been going around and around about this since these episodes first aired and I’ve never been able to decide on anything. But that’s why I have you guys right? To help me decide.

I’ve grouped my choices into four categories, which I’m going to put out to you guys and you tell me what you think my theme song should be.

Songs with my name in them

For what I consider to be a pretty random name, there are a lot of songs with Maxine in them.

There’s the ever-classic Murder She Wrote, which would make a great theme song for me since it references a pretty face and bad character, which is pretty accurate.  Then there is Ghostface’s Maxine, which is not a particularly complimentary choice since he refers to her as a “dark skinneded bald headed bitch”. I’m also partial to Beenie Man’s Dude, but only because he says “sexy Maxine” and that’s a pretty accurate description, wouldn’t you say?

Of course, the single greatest choice in this category would be Kardinal’s Maxine, a) because I used to have a giant crush on him which makes the song eerily prescient and b) it’s just a fucking great song.

Honky Hits

No matter how far I stray from my hometown, there will always be more than a little white girl in me. You can take the girl out of London Ontario but you cannot take the London Ontario out of the girl. So would be pretty fitting if I were to pick a song that reflects the fact that I grew up listening to far more Pink Floyd than Eric B & Rakim.

If I were going to go with a honky hit as my theme song, there are no shortage of tracks to choose from. There is Nirvana’s Lithium which reminds me of crazy people which is pretty fitting for me.  Then there’s Pat Benatar’s I Need a Lover because well…you know. Then there’s Janis Joplin’s Ball and Chain. That song blew my fucking mind in so many ways.

Dirty songs

You guys know I love a raunchy song. And since I’ve made an e-name for myself by getting nasty, it would only be right for me to pick a nasty song as my theme song.  Sexy songs just evoke such wonderful feelings in me that they would carry me through any challenge. But there are just so many to choose from. From Ghostface’s Wildflower which is just so wonderfully ignorant to The Weeknd’s Rolling Stone which not only just oozes sex but also is Canadian. And then there are songs like Glenn Lewis’s Storm and Mos Def’s The Panties which just make me just want to fling mine off.

Personally I think Pussy Be Yankin‘ would be a great theme song for me. Partly because of this post, but mostly because my pussy be…well, you know.

But tell me what you guys think? Do you have a theme song? What is it? What do you think my theme song should be? Weigh in in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 27

  1. NicknotNikki says:

    There are too many choices, so I’ll go with my staple…

    “Change Clothes”- Jay-Z
    I know.. it’s not his greatest hit.. It’s not even in the top 10, but ERRTAHM I play this song my walk switches immediately.. I straighten my posture.. I start to strut.. It could even be while I’m walkin home from the bustop with my bookbag.. When I hear it, I tend to walk like a woman.. As opposed t the “tomboy bounce” I’ve been told I have.. I walk in beat, like I’m on the runway..

    And backup song is “I am not afraid”- Jill Scott…
    We all know her voice is melodic and whatnot.. but this song here makes me feel like a sex goddess.. I’ve made up routines to this song.. Some of them only for my future husband.. I smirk to no one in particular.. But it’s like this song makes me all of a sudden have that p*ssy power everyone is always saying women have…
    I can’t pick a song for you Max because I haven’t heard about 3/4 of them.. #Lawd #FailDEtat
    That’s what I got right now.. It’s past my bedtime.. *drops mic* “and I’m OUT this muthaf*cka!!”

  2. Chris-tina says:

    Pat Benatar’s I Need a Lover because we both need lovers. My long term crush(2 years) greeted me & made some convo this morning. We’ve spoken in the past with friends but lately we’ve met a couple of times and i’m always been the first to say “HI” but he did it this morning. He has a girlfriend and i mean girl.I’m all woman baby.
    I’ll make my move soon…

    My theme song is DANCE/ASS by Big Sean- I have a beautiful ass plus a great bod and a super inflated ego.

    Jay-Z’s Big Pimpin used to be my theme song back in my high school and varsity days. I just hung out with a lotta hot bro’s and i was dating one so the girls flocked, made me Queen B. It was fun being the socialite but now those days are over as i stopped drinking and i party now and then as it’s hard being a socialite and an Account Manager.I have a rep to protect.

    1. max says:

      “I have a beautiful ass plus a great bod and a super inflated ego.”

      You sound like my kind of girl.

  3. ms_wills says:

    You have to feel it for yourself, and when you hear it, you’ll know. My criteria includes that, 1- you won’t hear it all the time, everywhere (it takes away some of the magic), and 2- you HAVE to be able to get your catwalk on to it. I mean really strut around, completely on the prowl.

    My theme song is Brickhouse, by the Commodores. I was barely here, when it first came out, but someone called me this many moons ago, and it’s a pretty accurate description. An EX told me it wasn’t a flattering song, I should have dropped him right then, and saved 7 years. It’s MY F-ing song.

    The Men All Pause (Klymaxx) is also a favorite…. Check me out.

    One of my friends told me her song is Candy (Cameo). Another, strut-able, classic.

    I could on and on with the old school, but I’m also VERY partial to Jill Scott’s GOLDEN, and Chrisette Michelle’s I’M A STAR.

  4. Krystal light says:

    I don’t see why you can’t have more than one theme song. I’m indecisive and my moods aren’t consistent so it would be super hard for me to pick just one song. If I can narrow it down though I’d say it’d probably be a Beyonce joint. I can’t dance but some of her music makes me think I can and it hypes me up whenever I need it without fail. Diva, Crazy in Love and Check on It are all songs in the running for my theme song. Zumba music too. I can’t understand what they’re saying but I sure feel like they’re talking about me sometimes. You’ve inspired me to go look up songs with my name in them though.

    1. Krystal light says:

      Oh and maybe Bossy or Milkshake by Kelis.

  5. For the past year my theme song has been Kanye’s Runaway- son wrote my life with that joint.

    Prior to that it was Jay’s “Say Hello”

    Right now, it’s Jay and Ye’s “Illist Motherf*cker Alive”

    Sensing a pattern just yet? *Throws up Diamond*

  6. Elle says:

    My most consistent theme song has been Carl Carlton’s old school jam “Bad Mama Jama”. My mom used to play this song constantly and I still love it…it’s a real confidence booster with lyrics like “She’s built she’s stacked, got all the curves a man would like…she’s poetry in motion, a beautiful sight to see, I get so excited viewing her anatomy”…What’s not to love?

    I also have Aaliyah’s “Try Again” and Mary J Blige’s “Just Fine” playing when I need some encouragement.

    And Lil Kim’s “Not Tonight” is my let’s skip the foreplay and just get down with it theme song. Gotta love the Queen B 😉

  7. BP says:

    I am playing your theme song ( in my head) when you call me…”Girl you be killin’ em…”

    Neyo’s “She Got Her Own” remix featuring Jamie Fox and Fabulous is my theme song these days…”Lovely face, nice thick thighs, plus she got drive that matches my drive”….

  8. streetztalk says:

    Good Post!

    I always have theme songs by year… in 05 it was “Just a little bit” by 50

    96 it was Affirmative Action

    08 it was “Get Like Me” By David Banner and Chris Brown

    This year, it would be Headlines by Drake. Motion Picture MUSIC!!

    1. max says:

      Headlines is a big chune Streetzie…that is a GREAT theme song!

      1. streetztalk says:

        See? I got taste n shit! lolol

  9. LaLaBakir says:

    Kanye West- Through The Wire “I’m a champion, so I turn tragedy to triumph”

    Beyonce “Get Me Bodied” I think I listen to this song every time before I go out and you can’t tell me nothing

    c/s Most on Jay-Z’s “Say Hello”

  10. LaLaBakir says:

    I think your theme song should be Murder She Wrote. Because I like it the best, lol. Plus I sang it to you on a voice note

  11. my theme song. kidz in the hall’s mr. alladatshit

  12. Cheekie says:

    I think my personal theme song is “Quiet Storm” by Smokey Robinson… not only because it’s a dope ass song, but because of the title. It fits me (because I can be all quietly introspective and daydream-esque and at the same time, a dramatic storm). And yes, I include Mobb Deep’s “Quiet Storm Remix” in this as well.

  13. Malik says:

    Blu & Exile – The World Is

    Somebody once told me that I’m already in hell
    Freedoms a state a mind
    And just the heart of me’s in hell
    I free my slave mind so a part of me’s in hell
    And when it’s hard to breathe, a part of me inhale

  14. Sam Sharpe says:

    This is going to sound strange but it never really occurs to me that your name is Maxine. In my mind you’re just Max. But now that the thought has been put in my brain I’ve been singing that Kardinal tune all day…..and “Murder She Wrote” might be perfect for you.

    I don’t have a single theme song, but each period of my life will have a song or songs that define it. Here are a few songs that for various reasons have defined different periods in my life(chosen for how they made me feel rather than any direct relevance to my life).

    Throwback Joints:

    Marvin Gaye’s “Trouble Man”
    Vybz Kartel & Spice “Ramping Shop”

    Current theme:

    J. Cole “Work Out”

  15. streetztalk says:

    Let me not forget IMMA BOSS!!!! THats my Summer theme!

  16. TJ says:

    At the moment, my two theme songs are The Big Bang by Rock Mafia ft. Miley Cyrus (which is also my ring tone lol) and Cheers by Rihanna. I have a few others, but I’ll only list these two.

  17. Capricorn says:

    My theme song(s):

    Candy by Cameo. I’m just as sweet. 🙂 (He’s singing about me. No, really)

    Best I Ever Had by Drake. *story withheld to protect myself*

    No Time by Lil Kim. This was our song in college, me and my BFF. Drama followed us and we just claimed this as our Eff the world song.

    Ambitionz Az A Ridah by Pac. Nuff said.

    1. Kema says:

      Ohhh! That Cameo song is my theme song too! I would add ‘Lady’ by Lenny Kravitz.

  18. Capricorn says:

    DANG IT!!!

    All time theme song:
    I’m Still Standing by Elton John.

    Just came on my iPod!!!

  19. I’m all kinds of late, but commenting anyway…

    I have theme songs for every mood, but these are the top three…

    Drop The World – Wayne ft, Marshal.
    Put It In My Mouth – Akinyele
    Golden – Jilly from Philly

  20. TheAchike says:

    I’ve given this thought before, and so I was quite pleased when I saw it.
    The overall tune wud have to be ‘Battle without Honour or Humanity” an instrumental piece by Tomoyasu Hotei. Its best known as the fight music in Kill Bill. It really perks me up and get my blood pumping.

    Feel good song would be ‘Nuthin but a G Thang’ Dre and Snoop. It takes me waay back to time without a care in the world.

    My naughty song would have to be wither Tupac’s ‘How do you Want It?’ A song I really enjoy the lyrics to and I feel has the most awesome opening line, Or 112’s ‘Anywhere’which has such a sexy rhythm and a sensual beat.

  21. quiche says:

    Be Happy – Mary J

    Cherche La Ghost – Ghostface Killa

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