There are few things greater than getting down and dirty with someone whose looks you love. Getting your parts oiled by someone who is both hot and sexy is pretty much the holy grail in the pursuit of sex. But sometimes, you know what's better than hot and sexy? Sexy Ugly.
If you don’t know about sexy ugly, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Someone who is considerably less than blessed in the looks department but who still has this vibe that makes you want to rip your clothes off and lie beneath them. It’s not the same as ugly with a good personality, or ugly but can fuck. Those people have to put in work to get a chance with you and the best case scenario is that you probably won’t be mad about after it’s over. Sexy ugly people don’t have to put in work though; they give off this vibe that has 9′s and 10′s running to give them the buns even though they’re usually 2′s or 3′s.
Here’s my list of sexy ugly people who I would beg to take it from me:
You youngins might not know about Mickey Rourke, but my fellow oldheads remember seeing him put it on Kim Basinger in 91/2 weeks and know that even though he looks like he’s been fucked hard and put up wet (a very difficult look for a man to achieve), Mickey Rourke would fuck the dogshit out of you. And there’s never anything wrong with that.
This one is a bit of a throwback, but I’ve been watching old episodes of The Practice and find myself squirming in my chair whenever this dude gets rowdy in a scene. Which he does often. This man is ugly bad but there’s just something about him that makes me say “take me now Daddy”.
I think the phrase sexy ugly was coined with this bitch in mind. She is ugly and mad skinny and really quite scary but believe you me she could get it any way she wants it from me. In the immortal words of one of my very best friends “I would suck a fart outta her ass”.
Lil Wayne & Jay-Z
These two dudes are proof positive that money and talent can make up for any physical imperfection. Because even though Jay-Z looks like a camel and Wayne looks like a caterpillar – neither of which is particularly sexy visual – both of these guys could get it 55 different ways from me and most of my female readers.
She looks like an embryonic rabbit and she’s paler than Powder but that doesn’t mean Ms. Tilda couldn’t get it from me. Maybe it’s her accent, maybe it’s the androgyny. But either way I would eat it from the back. And the fact that she has been in a “dual relationship” for several years and seems to give not one fuck who knows about it makes me want to just throw myself at her feet and say “teach me Mistress”.
That’s my list, but what about you guys? Are there sexy uglies you would give it to? Give me your list in the comments.