There are few things greater than getting down and dirty with someone whose looks you love. Getting your parts oiled by someone who is both hot and sexy is pretty much the holy grail in the pursuit of sex. But sometimes, you know what's better than hot and sexy? Sexy Ugly.
If you don’t know about sexy ugly, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Someone who is considerably less than blessed in the looks department but who still has this vibe that makes you want to rip your clothes off and lie beneath them. It’s not the same as ugly with a good personality, or ugly but can fuck. Those people have to put in work to get a chance with you and the best case scenario is that you probably won’t be mad about after it’s over. Sexy ugly people don’t have to put in work though; they give off this vibe that has 9′s and 10′s running to give them the buns even though they’re usually 2′s or 3′s.
Here’s my list of sexy ugly people who I would beg to take it from me:
Mickey Rourke
You youngins might not know about Mickey Rourke, but my fellow oldheads remember seeing him put it on Kim Basinger in 91/2 weeks and know that even though he looks like he’s been fucked hard and put up wet (a very difficult look for a man to achieve), Mickey Rourke would fuck the dogshit out of you. And there’s never anything wrong with that.
Steve Harris
This one is a bit of a throwback, but I’ve been watching old episodes of The Practice and find myself squirming in my chair whenever this dude gets rowdy in a scene. Which he does often. This man is ugly bad but there’s just something about him that makes me say “take me now Daddy”.
Sandra Bernhard
I think the phrase sexy ugly was coined with this bitch in mind. She is ugly and mad skinny and really quite scary but believe you me she could get it any way she wants it from me. In the immortal words of one of my very best friends “I would suck a fart outta her ass”.
Lil Wayne & Jay-Z
These two dudes are proof positive that money and talent can make up for any physical imperfection. Because even though Jay-Z looks like a camel and Wayne looks like a caterpillar – neither of which is particularly sexy visual – both of these guys could get it 55 different ways from me and most of my female readers.
Tilda Swinton
She looks like an embryonic rabbit and she’s paler than Powder but that doesn’t mean Ms. Tilda couldn’t get it from me. Maybe it’s her accent, maybe it’s the androgyny. But either way I would eat it from the back. And the fact that she has been in a “dual relationship” for several years and seems to give not one fuck who knows about it makes me want to just throw myself at her feet and say “teach me Mistress”.
That’s my list, but what about you guys? Are there sexy uglies you would give it to? Give me your list in the comments.
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I’ud gladly get up deep in Adele’s pum pum while “Rolling in the Deep” appropriately plays in the background. She may be a 5 according to general beauty standards but her voice oozes sex appeal.
Tilda Swinton is weird as all hell…I had to google her situation so did not know she was a P.I.M.P. and her boy toy is cute as hell. Yeah, she did that LOL
A caterpillar, though? Lol!! Comedy. I’ll leave the comments for the ladies on this one. All of us men has had that conversation with our boys that includes the phrase, “Yeah, well we’ve all hit worse.” lol.
I feel you on the Lil’ Wayne tip. I don’t know what it is about him but he most certainly could get it ‘errday. I think it’s because he comes across as intelligent in the interviews/tv specials I’ve seen.
IDK about it being about money, fame or talent. Cuz i’ve never really thought Jay-Z was ugly. I never thought he was sexy, but definitely not ugly. He just has really strong features.
And Wayne- i’ve thought he was sexy since he was a nobody making non-verbal cameos in then-also-nobody-and-now-nobody-again Juvenile’s videos. I had a whole wall covered in Lil Wayne posters and pictures and print-outs back in the day.
Miss me with the rest of them lol.
yeah i can’t think of any sexy ugly women.
HI, first time commenter longtime reader.
here is my list:
Seal
Steve Buscemi
Giovanni Ribisi
Mick Jagger
Keith Richards
Biz Markie
Tilda Swinton
Paul Giamatti
Willem Dafoe
I cosign Seal, love his music too, and Willem Dafoe.
And I’ll add Daniel Craig, something very sexy about him to me!
A lot of people talk about Steve Buscemi and Mick & Keith. They don’t do it for me, but they seem to be among the most popular sexy uglies around. But Biz Markie though? That’s a new one.
Oh and welcome to commenting and whatnot.
*Record Scratch*
Did you say BizMarkie?!!!! Damn!!
Girl I think you may be all by yourself with this one here. lmao
eewwwww
Tilda Swinton is gorgeous. I don’t understand this sexy-ugly thing though.
oh Im sorry…puked alil in my throat :-/
I’m saying tho, Seal and Akon get my vote! I just like that rough look, I adore dudes with strong intimidating faces, and if people find those characteristics unattractive then that just ups my ratio (more for me!)
Maybe Jay Z…..
But other than that? Nah. There’s no way I’m having random xes with a guy who’s not top-notch.
Tilda looks like she’d tie you up tight and call you a slave…and you’d like it, lol. Must be the British accent.
Michelle Rodriguez isn’t all that cute but something about her…
Clint Eastwood 20 years ago. He was still old then, just not ancient.
P.S. – Something about this little toolbar floating around on the page. Making me mad.
What?!?!? I love me some Michelle Rodriguez. Girl could put me in a headlock anytime.
M Rodriguez?
I don’t know… it could be a co-sign, it could be a no-sign.
See I know what you mean, its her mouth. But I wouldn’t call her ugly. Just sexy without being pretty.
As I like to call it.. strapon sexy.
#dontjudgeme
strapon sexy!!!! GASP! luv *.*
Late to reply, Cheekz, you my e-homey and all, but for the record … #ImJudging
Tilda and Conan O’Brien are the exact same person. But on the real tip, she is SO tall and fashion luhs her. She’s quirky.
Jay-Z is the EPITOME of sexy ugly. Lil’ Wayne’s constipated voice annoys me too much to put him there… but then that’s me, I put a lot of ish on a good voice. But, back to Jay-Z… it’s definitely the swagger. I mean, he looks like Joe Camel but he got the baddest bish in the game wearing his chain.
Oh, and
Charles McCarterSteve Harris went to my alma mater, NIU! Swag.Conan O’Brien could get it… I’ve always kinda had a thing for him.
Sexy ugly huh. This translates to me as he’s ugly but since he’s got money and status he’s sexy. If Lil Wayne showed up at your door and he was your plumber you’d be thinking “who gave this rat faced boy a job”. Just my two cents.
Word kid.
Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot they all on me.
While, to a certain extent that’s true, I’ve seen plenty of sexy ugly reglah dudes with women I thought the chicks would never go for? Why? Because he was funny. Funny = sexy.
True, true, true….I forgot to consider the funny factor.
I don’t think Jay Z is ugly at all. not the most handsome, but he has a beautiful smile (to me). the sight of him doesn’t make me recoil. Wayne also looked better before the excessive tats, diamond teeth and dirty locs. He does give me gremlin these days.
my favorite sexy ugly rapper used to be Mr. Cheeks from Lost Boyz.
My thoughts exactly. Lil Wayne = gremline & Jay-Z has a nice smile…kinda makes you want him in a Beauty & the Beast kinda way.
But Lil Wayne & those teeth & those tats?…ugh…
I cosign on JayZ, I actually find him attractive, especially when he smiles… but even when he doesn’t… and in almost any black and white photo, too.
Blueprint2 album cover? Panties off.
Sexy ugly…I’m weird bc there’s this guy I know who looks like Jay Z that is all kinds of sexy ugly but Jay Z himself? Nahhhh. Lil Wayne…fcuk no! I…just….can’t. I would give him a hug just to say “I HUGGED WEEZY!!!1111″ but anything more would just be too much. He’s just ugly ugly and no amount of “swag” or millions will ever change that. Elliott Yamin – he’s all kinds of sexy ugly. But that’s mainly bc his voice just does something to my soul.
OooMMMGeeeee.
Max. Yes Girl!!! I’ve said it many many times (to myself of course) that Lil Wayne could get it, girl it’s something about that gremlin that makes me think he could definitely teach me how 2 luhh, but I wouldn’t let him eat it though his mouf looks like he might give my cooter a fungus or something. Jay-Z has charisma and his swag and stage presence when he performing just makes me blush.
The Game could catch it.
c/s Jay and Weezy
The rest of these folks are just ugly
Sexy ugly…sexy ugly…hmmmmm….can’t think of anyone off the top of my head.
I always say Lil Wayne is the sexiest ugly ninja ever
i personally always had a thing for tilda swinton…. she has a one of a kind look , and in my books, that makes her Hot.
I’ve got one…took me a minute…
Seth Rogen.
*exits stage left*
Yeah! I seriously gave him a brow-raise in Knocked Up. It’s the funny thing, of course.
I hate I’m so late to this because it’s super funny but I gotta say Forest Whitaker, Scarface and Cee Lo Green. Don’t judge me! Forest seems like such a nice charming guy and nice is sexy to me. Cee Lo is so confident and that’s sexy, seems like he’d put something crazy on me. Scarface. Idk something about him I guess.
Actually Scarface is kind of cute.
I think Steve Harris is cute. #thatisall
OMG, Steve Harris is THE hottest EVER!!!! I’ve always had a thing for him, he’s been my celebrity crush for years and years…it’s the lips, and the sexy smolder he does with his eyes…sigh! My sexy ugly would have to be T-Pain.
I know i’m late but two more Rick Ross and Jeff Goldblum both have ugly sexy swagger.
Djimon Hounsou… slobber slobber drool drool