This week on Ask Max we have another question from Kyra of He Always Pokes Me fame. This week she leads us to explore the murky waters of casual sex and oral sex.
I wanted to know what are your views on oral sex within friends with benefits & one night stands? When do you know if you waited long enough to start doing those types of acts?? How can you make sure that you respect your mouth/body while fulfilling needs without that ” Omg, I’m such a slut” feeling the morning after or a few hours later?
Now this is one of the very rare instances in which asking yourself “What would Max do?” is not going to yield optimal results. See, as much as I am a progressive and forward-thinking kind of woman, when it comes to oral I’m still a bit of a throwback. I do not subscribe to the “if you’re fucking you’re sucking” school of thought. In my world, getting head is level one vip treatments and only a select few qualify.
It seems though that to the world at large, oral and fucking are like hand in glove – you don’t have one without the other. Some people consider it an essential part of foreplay, some people say it’s illogical to be willing to fuck a man you’re not willing to suck off.
Either way, this is one of those things where I think it’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with. That “OMG I’m a slut” feeling that women get (I’m assuming only women get this, men correct me if I’m wrong) is less about any one act and more about the fact that you’ve done something you don’t approve of or weren’t comfortable with. One of the beauties of the casual sex relationship is that you set your terms – if this was Mr. Kyra I’d tell you you either need to give head or give head passes – so if you don’t want to dine beneath the bridge that is totally up to you.
Just make sure you make it clear to him from the beginning; unless you enjoy the feeling of him continually trying to push your head southward while you fight to keep it above the equator. And you should be prepared for the possibility that he might consider you useless as a FwB if he can’t even get head from you.
Oh! And not to get too much in your business but I have to ask. Is this man partaking of your salad bar while you’re refusing to sample the sausage? No judgment, I’m just wondering
and lowkey judging you.
That’s my answer, what do you guys think? Is it okay to take oral off the table in casual sex relationships? Or is the whole point of such relationships to explore your freakiness to its full extent? If your FwB refused to put his/her mouth on you, would you be okay with that? Speak on it in the comments.