So the homey Malik is back with another guest post. This time he’s schooling ladies on what not to do in a friends with benefits situation if you don’t want the man to think you’re scheming. I don’t know how many guys actually admit to getting caught up in FWB relations, but I will admit [...]
So the homey Malik is back with another guest post. This time he’s schooling ladies on what not to do in a friends with benefits situation if you don’t want the man to think you’re scheming.
I don’t know how many guys actually admit to getting caught up in FWB relations, but I will admit that we do. Outside of those who are going to get caught up regardless, the main reason guys (including myself) would or have gotten caught up is because we’re arrogant and that the women in FWB situation don’t match up their actions with their words. You can repeat how much you don’t want A, B, or C regardless but if you’re doing girlfriend shit it doesn’t matter what you’re telling me. My first thought is pretty much always going to be is that she’s scheming because women are scheming schemers who scheme for relationships where they can scheme more.
Here’s a short list of things women do that makes of think that they’re really trying to sneak us into a monogamous relationship; or ‘girlfriend shit’ for short.
1. Dressing to the 9s. You should never make it look like you’re putting too much effort into how you look when you see us. We think you’re dressing for us not for yourself. If you happen to meeting up somewhere after doing something where you had to be dressed a certain way that is perfectly alright. Make sure to point this out to us and don’t make it a habit otherwise we’ll think you’re actually dressing for us on the low.
2. Overly affectionate. I know this seems like an odd one because you’re fucking, but it’s none-the-less true. There really isn’t a need for us to flirt considering the reason we’re both in this situation is to just get to the fucking and cut through all that superfluous stuff. No need for any ‘cute’ nicknames. No need for compliments and more compliments and then more compliments. We think women do this because they want to sleep with us. If we’re already sleeping together then why do you continue to flirt. I know it’s because some women are just naturally flirtatious but that isn’t how it’s interpreted.
3. Sleeping overnight. Negative. Does this really need to elaborated on?
4. Watch what you actual talk about. Conversations should be light. If you want talk about you having a bad day at work, that’s perfectly okay. You do not however need to break down and talk about the time that thing that your counselor did at summer camp that haunts you to this day. That is far too much emotional intimacy for a relationship that is just supposed to be for light, fun and simple. Unless you’re the type of gal who can call just to shoot the shit like certain bloggers, I would advise against calling just to call. We hate that when we are in a relationship with you women. Have a purpose in the dialogue and keep it as succinct as possible. Our minds begin to tune out when we believe you’re heaping heaps and heaps of unnecessary information into something that could have been explained in 1/10 of the time.
5. Out-of-the-ordinary favors. Doing favors is fine. If you’re a genuinely nice human being and enjoy helping other people that’s great. Create some damn boundaries though. If I call you up at 2 am asking you to pick me up, it is perfectly okay to say ‘Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit’ and take yourself back to sleep. When you’re doing crazy favors like that our first thought isn’t that you just happen to be helpful person it is that you are smitten with us to a large degree. And we will abuse that for an extended amount of time and then act confused when you call us on this.
Bonus Point: I know Max has the 1 at a time rule for herself, but if you’re not adversed to that make it known to us that you are seeing other people. This can be done in a myriad of ways. It could be the tacky ‘accidental’ bumping into each other in public or you could actually discuss it. Don’t make him think he’s getting the lion share of your time either because then he’s going to think you’re feeling him more than anyone else you may or may not be seeing. But if you’re doing the five things above that shouldn’t be an issue unless he was going to think so regardless of what you did.
So what do you guys think? Men does this kind of behaviour make you think that women are scheming to lock you down? Women do you use these tactics to lock a man down? Speak on it in the comments.
And p.s. I’m coming with a list of ’boyfriend shit’ that men do that make women think we’re vying for a relationship. Stay tuned.