If I have anything resembling a #1 fan, it’s a dude who loves to insult me in the comments of The FreshXpress. He likes to say rude things or make judgements on my personality and has even asked me to write him a list of my valuable qualities because he claims he’s not sure I have any. You know why he does this? Because he wants me. Wait, does I sound a little cocky? Well I guess that’s because I am. As a matter of fact, I’m a lot cocky and I see nothing wrong with that. In fact – I don’t understand why everyone isn’t cocky.When you come right down to it, what is cocky really? Isn’t it nothing more than unabashed, enthusiastic, unapologetic confidence in one’s self? I don’t see what’s so wrong with that. In fact, the older I get and the more cocky I become, the more convinced I am that cocky is just a word some un-confident and unhappy person made up to reduce those of us who are bold enough to admit that we’re proud of our accomplishments.In my not at all humble and incredibly sexy opinion, cocky is just confident with bad PR. They’re two edges of the same sword, aren’t they? To me, confidence is about our own regard for our accomplishments, how we feel inside about the things we put out into the universe. Cocky, on the other hand, is the voice we give to that regard; how we talk about the things we’ve done or achieved.
Let’s look at Kanye West for example. He’s feeling himself so much that he acknowledges being on his own dick and he doesn’t care who knows it. Nothing wrong with that is there? The problem lies in the way he chooses to communicate his cockiness – he can be loud, brash, and disruptive about it and that turns people off; rightfully so of course. But that’s not because he’s cocky, it’s because he’s obnoxious. And that’s a different thing altogether.
Ultimately I think the problem lies in the fact that it’s not an acceptable thing in our society to make simple statements of truth if they are in any way self-congratulatory. So a girl who gets the doorman at her city’s hottest spot to let her into a packed party ahead of the line-up and with no cover can’t say he did it because she’s hot and he wants her. She’s supposed to say he did it because he’s a nice guy. If you win an award and in your acceptance speech you say “of course I won – I was the best competitor by far” it would be wrong; you’re supposed to be thankful and honored to have been acknowledged. In this world, modesty – even when it’s false – will win you far more favor than an honest assessment of your attributes and accomplishments.
But when you really think about it, isn’t modesty really just hypocrisy? Isn’t it a bit far-fetched of us to expect people to believe that we don’t regard the stuff we put out into universe to be the best or better than what other people do? If you’re an artist recording a song, don’t you expect it to be loved and downloaded and nominated for awards? You must expect that or you wouldn’t put it out there in the first place. So why then are you supposed to act surprised when all that happens? When a blogger puts his post up and encourages people to read it, why is he supposed to act surprised and touched when people actually do? Isn’t that what he expected? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.
Maybe I am the way I am because of my upbringing. I was raised by parents who valued obedience over accomplishment. Now that I’m an adult, my mother cares far more about when I last changed my sheets than how many Black Weblog Awards I win. So without the luxury of a crowd of supporters cheering me on, I have no choice but to cheer for myself as loudly as possible. Then again, maybe I’m this way because I’m just so convinced of my own dopeness that I see no reason to hide it.
Either way, I’m on my cocky ish and I’m never getting off except for when…
What do you guys think? Do you see the validity of my “cocky is good” philosophy of life? Do you think a little modesty goes a long way? Are you on your cocky ish too? At what point does cocky cross over into lameness?