Yeah I’m Cocky, And What?


If I have anything resembling a #1 fan, it’s a dude who loves to insult me in the comments of The FreshXpress. He likes to say rude things or make judgements on my personality and has even asked me to write him a list of my valuable qualities because he claims he’s not sure I have any. You know why he does this? Because he wants me. Wait, does I sound a little cocky? Well I guess that’s because I am. As a matter of fact, I’m a lot cocky and I see nothing wrong with that. In fact – I don’t understand why everyone isn’t cocky.When you come right down to it, what is cocky really? Isn’t it nothing more than unabashed, enthusiastic, unapologetic confidence in one’s self? I don’t see what’s so wrong with that. In fact, the older I get and the more cocky I become, the more convinced I am that cocky is just a word some un-confident and unhappy person made up to reduce those of us who are bold enough to admit that we’re proud of our accomplishments.In my not at all humble and incredibly sexy opinion, cocky is just confident with bad PR. They’re two edges of the same sword, aren’t they? To me, confidence is about our own regard for our accomplishments, how we feel inside about the things we put out into the universe. Cocky, on the other hand, is the voice we give to that regard; how we talk about the things we’ve done or achieved.

Let’s look at Kanye West for example. He’s feeling himself so much that he acknowledges being on his own dick and he doesn’t care who knows it. Nothing wrong with that is there? The problem lies in the way he chooses to communicate his cockiness – he can be loud, brash, and disruptive about it and that turns people off; rightfully so of course. But that’s not because he’s cocky, it’s because he’s obnoxious. And that’s a different thing altogether.

Ultimately I think the problem lies in the fact that it’s not an acceptable thing in our society to make simple statements of truth if they are in any way self-congratulatory. So a girl who gets the doorman at her city’s hottest spot to let her into a packed party ahead of the line-up and with no cover can’t say he did it because she’s hot and he wants her. She’s supposed to say he did it because he’s a nice guy. If you win an award and in your acceptance speech you say “of course I won – I was the best competitor by far” it would be wrong; you’re supposed to be thankful and honored to have been acknowledged. In this world, modesty – even when it’s false – will win you far more favor than an honest assessment of your attributes and accomplishments.

But when you really think about it, isn’t modesty really just hypocrisy? Isn’t it a bit far-fetched of us to expect people to believe that we don’t regard the stuff we put out into universe to be the best or better than what other people do? If you’re an artist recording a song, don’t you expect it to be loved and downloaded and nominated for awards? You must expect that or you wouldn’t put it out there in the first place. So why then are you supposed to act surprised when all that happens?  When a blogger puts his post up and encourages people to read it, why is he supposed to act surprised and touched when people actually do?  Isn’t that what he expected? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Maybe I am the way I am because of my upbringing. I was raised by parents who valued obedience over accomplishment. Now that I’m an adult, my mother cares far more about when I last changed my sheets than how many Black Weblog Awards I win. So without the luxury of a crowd of supporters cheering me on,  I have no choice but to cheer for myself  as loudly as possible. Then again, maybe I’m this way because I’m just so convinced of my own dopeness that I see no reason to hide it.

Either way, I’m on my cocky ish and I’m never getting off except for when…

What do you guys think? Do you see the validity of my “cocky is good” philosophy of life?  Do you think a little modesty goes a long way? Are you on your cocky ish too? At what point does cocky cross over into lameness?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 12

  1. That was well written. I actually never thought of the concept of cocky that way. You’ve shown it in a new light.

    1. max says:

      Thanks love. I haven’t seen you on here in a long time….welcome back!

  2. Aleyah the Great says:

    i see nothing wrong with being cocky (as you can see by my name) and i think cocky people are great. there are two problems with people who are usually called cocky. they’re so self-absorbed that nothing else matters, which is annoying and off-putting, or they have no reason to be cocky, which just makes you look lame because you can’t back it up. i do think modesty goes a long way because it draws in more people, and gives you more reason to be that cocky. look at beyonce. her ego is huuuuge, probably as big as kanye’s, but she puts on humility and many people love her for it.

    1. max says:

      It’s true that modesty and humility attract more people; but I find that it’s the wrong kind of people. You get the people who like to be around you because you make them feel safe or because you don’t challenge them or because your modesty allows them to get more attention. But the minute you get too big they start trying to cut you down in passive aggressive ways.

      I’d rather just be around people who are full of themselves like me. It’s more honest.

      1. Teflon Mom says:

        “But the minute you get too big they start trying to cut you down in passive aggressive ways.”

        Yep. Still struggling with this.

  3. Martin says:

    What are you cocky about? have you see your face?

    1. max says:

      Well I guess I’m cocky about the fact that little shits who talk smack about other people’s looks while lacking the balls to reveal their own are so obsessed with me that they continually feel compelled to comment on my posts.

      1. Teflon Mom says:

        I don’t know why seeing you hand his own ass to him is so satisfying and amusing, but it is. Consider hiring yourself out – it’s a valuable service.

  4. Krystal light says:

    I think some people just pull cocky off better than others. Maybe it’s a personality thing or it takes talent. I made a cocky remark one day. I don’t really remember what it was but I remember my husband’s reaction to it. He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Another time, I tried to explain to him why it’s okay for some people to say they’re better than others when what they’re implying is that what they do is better, not that any human being is lower than the other. You have to be good with words to pull that type of thing off. Clearly, I’m not. But you pull off cocky well and slayed modesty. That’s just so funny.

  5. Teflon Mom says:

    I think I am cocky, but mostly in my own head. I deal in self-depracating humor and jokes on me. There are times that I wish I could be more in-your-face confident because like you said upthread, occassionally I’ll run into folks who take my faux modest ways to belittle me. But I let those episodes slide, because I feel pity for them. I pity them because they’re not as good as me and they’re lashing out. Now if that ain’t cocky I don’t know what is, lol.

    There are 2 reasons why I am not outwardly cocky: 1. I like people to like me, until I decide I don’t like you then I would like for you to hate me. 2. Religious upbringing. No matter how much I accomplish I know that without my endeavors being blessed they wouldn’t exist. If I begin to beat my chest about all that “I” have accomplished I’m just begging God to reveal to me what a life without His favor would look like.

    1. Krystal light says:

      Woo chile! All of this!

  6. SnarkyChic says:

    I think sometimes folk confuse cocky people with arseholes. They are not always one in the same. A great deal of the time they are the same but not always. There is a fine line between obnoxious and cocky. Some of us walk the line better than others.

    As a person who typically only dates cocky men, I find it hard to relate to someone who doesn’t think he wakes up and pisses excellence. If you don’t think it, no one else will. This doesn’t mean you shout it from the rooftops every chance you get, Kanye West. Or that you rub your fantabulousness in other folks’ faces but it does mean accepting your greatness and walking in it everyday.

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