If there’s one thing that will get the “danger” bells ringing in my brain it’s a man telling me he wants to introduce me to his mother. Although I recognize that meeting one another’s parents is a crucial part of a serious relationship, as far as I’m concerned if we’re not on the brink of sharing an address, a last name, or a child it’s just the worst idea ever. I mean, besides all the unnecessarily heightened expectations that come along with meeting a man’s mother too soon, there is every possibility that this introduction is going to rub the sheen off him worse than industrial-grade sandpaper. I can’t think of anything that will dry me up faster than watching my alpha man morph into a whiny mama’s boy the minute he crosses the threshold of his childhood home.
Just about every mother I’ve ever met has disliked me on sight. Moms take one look at me and see everything bad thing that their sons love about me. But instead of appreciating the badness as the thing of beauty it truly is, mothers get judgemental and possessive, especially if the man is the only boy or the youngest. Her x-ray time-travelling vision allows her to see what I’m putting on her son a nightly basis and she’s not happy about it. And once mummy realizes that my head game trumps her chicken pot pie as the most compelling pleasure in her son’s life, the gloves come off. So unless a man’s sure he loves me enough to go to the mattresses with his mother for me, all this meeting is going to do is take everything good about us and turn it to shit.
Of course it is possible that the mother and I will like each other. Maybe she’ll find me interesting and delightful and enjoy meeting me so much that she’ll want to spend more time with me. So she’ll start calling me directly instead of going through her son. We’ll start having lunches and coffees together where she’ll regale me with stories of funny things her son did when he was little and confide in me about past girlfriends she met and didn’t like anywhere near as much as she likes me. Maybe she’ll even let it slip that I’ve become the daughter she never had and that she hopes her son will make it official one day soon. All of a sudden we have a collusion situation on our hands and that’s no good for anyone. Out of nowhere my man has gone from having a mother and a girlfriend who were devoted solely to him to having to do battle with the tag team of his mother and his girl who are conspiring and campaigning for him to do everything from change his brand of toothpaste to put a ring on it.
As far as I can see, there’s nothing that can take a perfectly good relationship and send it left quicker than a premature meeting of the mother. So unless I’m looking for a reason to get rid of him, when a man asks me to meet his mother I have no choice but to say to him “No Baby. I like you way too much to do that”.
What do you guys think? Do you willingly meet the parents or do you run for the hills at the mere suggestion of interacting with the family? Ever been hated by your boy/girlfriend’s mother? Speak on it in the comments.