Dear Mr. Mindf*ck



I’ve finally come to realize that you are an asshole. Not a charming asshole or a cute asshole or a benevolent asshole, but just a straight up, garden variety, so fucking predictable and unoriginal I don’t know how I have sustained interest in you for so long asshole. And I am soooo over it.

I’m done reaching frantically for the little nuggets of decency you bestow on me like I’m a monkey in a lab that you need to keep complacent. Your brief glimmers of dopeness can only carry you so far. I’m finished with pretending to be charmed by your “idiosyncrasies” and finishing my stories about you with “he’s a jackass…but you gotta love him”. I don’t gotta love you, what I gotta do is stop pandering to your psychotic need to treat me like your personal fan club.

I am so off you. I am so over trying to read your mind, analyzing the inflection of each one of your endless streams of “yeah” and “no problem” and “okay” for clues as to what you’re really trying to tell me. I’m done trying to interpret your grunts and your silences. I am not Annie Sullivan and you are not Helen Keller – there is no need for us to find new ways to communicate with each other when actually speaking full sentences will do the trick.

So here’s what I say: Fuck you.  Fuck you and your drifting off mid-conversation. Fuck your last minute flops and your non-reactions. Fuck you getting salty over something innocuous that I said and not bothering to mention it until months later. Fuck tippy-toeing around your feelings while you railroad over mine. Fuck your high maintenance, closet emo, emotional fuckwit ass.

Oh! And you know what else? Fuck your stories about girls you deaded for minor crimes. I am no longer afraid to put a foot wrong lest you cut me off and deprive me of the singular pleasure of being mind fucked by you. Your stories used to make me think that you were a discriminating man with extremely high standards, but now I see you for what you really are – a fuckhead with no patience.

Because I know you so well I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking that no matter how bad you are, I’m worse for being the idiot who was so enamoured of you despite your shitty ways. And you are right about that. By rights I should have written you off long ago but I had something to prove. I wanted to be the one who could coax you out of your craptastic ways. The one who could successfully wait out your crazy. The one for whom you would stop being a mind-boggling jerk. Being able to see past your psychosis to the amazingness within made me feel like I was smarter than everyone else. I thought you would respect me for letting you be you and reward my patience with some basic decency.

I was wrong about that, as I was wrong about you in so many other ways. But I know that I am right in emancipating myself from your mental slavery. In breaking free of the shackles of fuckwittage, in declaring to you and the world that you are a prick, a jackfuck, and a generally despicable human being and I am soooo fucking done with you.

Much as I loved you, hate you now.


Anyone feel me on this?


bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 45

  1. Definately feel ya and I second that.

  2. nectar_imperial says:

    I feel ya.
    But even as a guy, I don’t think Mr Mindfuck should ever be allowed to see this rant or be told how you now feel about him.

  3. C says:

    Oh, so you went into my inbox and rewrote the letter that I never sent. Or, there is more than one of these fools floating around in the world? Loved it!

  4. silentnoyse says:

    Feel you a 150%! I happen to think, as a guy, that we are allowed to get away with a lot of bitchnigganess because of women’s frailties, insecurities and general misintepretation (of both intent and substance) regarding us and this syndrome. About time someone called the lot of us (collectively and individually) on it. YEI MAX!

  5. Lady says:

    Hmm… sounds like he was a Mr. Unavailable? I’ve dealt with one of those before. They are rarely worth all the angst, and hindsight is a motherf*ck cuz you finally realize what a waste of breath their life was.

    This is a nice blog I found awhile back that goes over really well what an emotionally unavailable man is and how to stop dealing with them. She goes over it in a lot of detail and has a lot to offer. I would encourage any woman who is trying get one of these creatures out of her life to read it. Loved her POV.

  6. CHeeKZ Money says:

    i disagree. even by reading this letter i don’t think the guy did anything wrong. just my opinion.

    1. max says:

      Sounds like something Mr. Mindfuck would say.

  7. Juwon says:

    I felt like this for about a week, now am over it; all most.
    Sometimes I still feel the pain, but I said to myself, I will not lower myself to that level. What I will do is go out there release my frustration and when am done, I will get myself someone who is a million times better.

  8. Funms says:

    Omgosh so i’m not the only one with such a specie…..
    we need to get rid of such ‘beings’……i’ve dealt with one and definitely learned a big lesson

  9. Maisha says:


  10. NicknotNikki says:

    I got rid of mine… So I’m not longer in that place.. I love the feeling that comes from being finally done…

    But “emancipating myself from your mental slavery” done kilt me dedd early in the morning!!
    I’m laughing and clapping at the same time….
    xoxo Max

    1. max says:

      LOL I cackled when I typed that but I’m not sure how many people are going to catch the reference.

      1. Alana says:

        I can’t see how people wouldn’t catch it. I finished the rest of it before I moved along to the next sentence.

    2. emti says:

      But “emancipating myself from your mental slavery” done kilt me dedd early in the morning!!
      I’m laughing and clapping at the same time….


  11. me says:

    **Sighhhh*** …. this is just my opinion … but i would think that when a man reaches a certain age … all of the bull crap behaviors Max described would be done, over with … kapoot…at a certain age he would/ **dam that** SHOULD … learn to verbalize how he feels, tells u he’s not feeling u, he likes u but he’s not ready for a relationship, he’s not looking … blah blah blah … whatever the freaking case maybe …but no..some choose to play the mind games mentioned above … i totally feel u on the above Max … at first the “is he feeling me? as much as i’m feeling him ” feeling is fun, exciting, but then that ish just gets tired and disgusting fast … Sorry u had to endure that but honestly When do the mind games end?? … does that shit ever get old with some men … is it really too much for me hope that at a certain age a man would just grow out of such childish tendancies and be open honest and upfront?… if yuh eh like d girl ..jus tell her so… ent? why all d games?

  12. Krystal light says:

    I don’t have a Mr. Mindfuck in my life but some parts of this remind me of a woman in my life. No homo either. Maybe I should write a letter too to get things off my chest and never and it of course.

    1. Krystal light says:


      1. max says:

        I’ve definitely had a Ms. Mindfuck in my life more than once.

  13. ncvirgogal says:

    I love this!

  14. RedLady821 says:

    I knew someone like that once. Drove me nuts a great deal of the time, but learn to see through the things that you are shown and you will see the real deal Max!

  15. RP14 says:

    Well I guess I can take off the T-shirt I have been wearing, like I’m the only one that has experienced this same situation!!

    He will be right for someone, it just may not be you! If history is any indicator it will be the next woman that comes along!

  16. Starita34 says:

    Woooow. Go ‘head and say that. I fear way too many of us can relate. Congrats on making the decision, but mind the bounce back…these type of guys are even more charming once you don’t want them…it’s an ego thing.

    I relate so hard to the personal fan club line. *smh*

    1. Kema says:

      I’m relating to the “Fuck tippy-toeing around your feelings while you railroad over mine.” line. Ugh!!!

  17. Phidelity15 says:

    This post is everything! I didn’t write my mr. mindf*ck a letter but I spazzed out on him nice and good on the phone. Wished him all kinds of dead and told him if I see him in the streets I would not think twice about hitting him with my car (that was almost 5 yrs ago and I haven’t seen him since!)
    Obviously my mr. mindf*ck had driven me bananas. If dating him were a pool, then I was certainly a non-swimmer out in the deep end. Drowining. SMH When I spazzed (over nothing really…he was rushing me to meet him somewhere and kept calling my phone being an ass about it) I realized that I saved myself from drowning, those words were my life raft and I was ever so grateful. I hung up that phone, caught my breath, and cried. Cried so hard from relief cause I realized I meant every word and that I had rid myself of something toxic.

    So I can definitely feel you on this post Max

  18. HLBB says:

    “Fuck your high maintenance, closet emo, emotional fuckwit ass.” I think I will have this sentence framed.

    I know more Ms. Mindfucks than Mr. Mindfucks…and every word applies.

  19. Lily says:

    Had to come out the woodwork for this one. You verbalized this so well I just wanna fwd it to this thick necked mind f**ker *exhale* …. love this blog.

  20. I think i’ve told you this before… once your done with a guy be done with him and never offer up an explanation or things you just want to get off your chest. It only opens the door for him to convince you that you’re mistaken.

    1. Starita34 says:

      Seems the “like” button only works on my mobile, but +1

    2. crackers says:

      Actually, I think it’s necessary to unload the burden to those who need to hear it. I’m just sayin’… all of this, through the years, is much to heavy a load to carry and sometimes, the best relief is to be heard, loudly and clearly.

  21. Malik says:

    There is a defense for Mr. Mindfck in there somewhere.

    1. Starita34 says:

      Funny thing is, I’m sure she used every defense before…to herself, to her girlfriends, to her family. That’s what we do, protect, nurture, use that famous “female logic” to justify why the object of our affection is, in effect, dogging us.

      But at the point of this letter…we’re tired of making excuses, we’re ready for more, for better, for equality, for reciprocation.

  22. BP says:

    Good job on chucking the deuces Maxie!

  23. William Templar says:

    a few of my exes might need that so they can send to me

  24. Flyy says:

    *copy, paste, change signature, forward*

    straight like that…

  25. crackers says:

    I feel you. Both intellectually and current-personal-lifey. Men are too old to be raised properly, and we have no room in our hearts and beds for a 180 lb child who feeds off the generosity, patience and affection we’d be better off feeding ourselves with. Personally, I am anxious to meet a grown up. Just one fucking grown up.

    Head up, Max. Stick to your guns. But let your guard down when you find your grown up.

  26. Teflon Mom says:

    Guuurrrrrl….I can’t STAND “that” dude! Ole-high-and-mighty-emotionally-retarded-think-he’s-doing-you-a-favor-but-really-needs-more-affirmation-than-Stuart-Smalley-ass-nucca! iCan’t with that dude. He want’s you to break your neck staring. He wants you to approach him and ask for his number. He expects you to at least play the “lemme reach for my wallet” game. He’s jealous of the considerations usually given to women, and is single handedly trying to flip the script. He wants to be chased like a lil’ girl. Dude might be “macho” on the outside but really he’s softer than my 8mo old mean mugging in the corner of this comment. These dudes run RAMPANT in DC. VSB even had a post about them: Diva Dudes.

    That sort of behavior is like lip gloss and sheer polish: best left to womenfolk. Don’t say anything to him, just cut him off.

    1. Starita34 says:

      LOLOLOLOL, not Stuart Smalley!! SNL FTW!!

  27. GirlSixx says:

    “Fuck your stories about girls you deaded for minor crimes. I am no longer afraid to put a foot wrong lest you cut me off and deprive me of the singular pleasure of being mind fucked by you.”

    Sayyyy That!!!!!!

    That’s craziness, glad to see you are getting him out of your system.

  28. BrazenSpinster says:

    This would be the post to make me temporarily de-lurk, but I sent a considerably less well-written message to a Mr. Mindf*ck earlier today! Max, this post needs to be a PSA. The only thing I’d add is “And, Mr. Mindf*ck, your shag is NOT the best I’ve ever had!”

  29. Tashie says:

    “Fuck tippy-toeing around your feelings while you railroad over mine. Fuck your high maintenance, closet emo, emotional fuckwit ass.”

    THIS!!! All. Of. It. It’s beyond appropriate. Had to give you a standing O (in my mind) at my computer desk for this one.

    I can only assume that somehow you managed to magically channel my frustration, because clearly this was written on my behalf; and for that Max, I say thank you!

    1. max says:

      Thank you sirs!

  30. MzWoods says:

    WOW! You just described EXACTLY how I am feelin better than I could of described it myself… Bra-f*cking-vo!
    “Fuck your high maintenance, closet emo, emotional fuckwit ass.” ON POINT!!!!!! in fact I need to go and copy this into a text…. 🙂

  31. Tracey says:

    Damn, I feel like a fuckwad now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *