Speaking of the reader survey, I received an interesting suggestion in a response that I thought would make a great post and that’s how today’s topic was born. I’m just putting that out there so that you guys don’t think I’m writing about a day in my life out of sheer narcissism. I mean, it’s partly narcissism, but not 100%. Just wanted to be clear on that.
A reader asked what a normal day is like when you’re single and childless. She says she wonders what she’d do with herself if her husband hadn’t come along and “spoiled [her] life plan”. So here you go, whoever you are….a day in the life of Max:
5:00am: Wake up. Immediately check my email on my phone to see how many people have commented on my blog. Cry a little bit inside when no one has. Stumble blindly to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Mix in Crystal Light; throwing the empty package into the special Crystal Light garbage box in the cupboard to prevent me from leaving it on the counter. Throwing it in the garbage is not an option for some reason. Stand in kitchen with eyes half-closed and suck back bottle of water. Head to the toilette to pee and brush my teeth.
5:15-ish: Grab another bottle of water and some bread and butter and sit at my desk. Eat while I re- read/archive the emails I just read on my phone. Light cigarette, then check my mentions on twitter. Open Google Reader and read SBM. Make a mental note to comment later. Forget the mental note two minutes later.
5:30: Workout time. Smoke cigarette, then change into my workout clothes which rest on top of my weights and sneakers right next to my desk. Load up the days workout and attempt to get my sneakers on, my mat and weights laid out, and my mirror strategically placed for maximum vanity before the intro ends. Fail and rewind video to beginning of warm up. Work out.
6:00: Collapse panting and sweating into my desk chair. Consume whatever is remaining in bottle of water #2 and commence bottle #3. Tweet something about how difficult my workout was. Return to Google Reader and read more blogs while I catch my breath.
6:15: Think to myself “okay I am getting up at getting ready at 6:30”. Smoke cigarette while I check the weather forecast. Read more blogs/check Facebook/generally dick around online.
6:40: Think “okay I NEED to get up and get ready I’m going to be late”. Light calming cigarette while I contemplate what I’m going to wear.
6:50: Shower, slather myself with lotion, turn on flat iron. Finish water #3 and/or smoke cigarette while waiting for bathroom to de-steam and iron to heat up.
7:00: Iron hair, apply makeup, figure out what in the entire fuck I’m wearing to work.
7:15: Figure out which two pairs of shoes to wear to work – my “real” shoes aka stilettos and flats for traveling/the moment at which I stop giving a fuck.
Somewhere between 7:30 and 8:00: Leave for work.
8:30 – 6:00: Grab coffee in the lobby of my office building. Speak for the first time. Proceed to meetings meetings meetings, bitching bitching bitching, gchat gchat, tweet tweet, smoke break smoke break smoke break. Consume bottles 4, 5, and 6 of water.
6:00: Summon work wife and leave work.
6:00-6:30: Ride bus with work wife and bitch about all the idiotic things we’ve been asked/forced to do today. Raise our eyes to the heavens and ask God WHY in the name of all that is holy we chose media as a career. Contemplate possible career options; realize we are media hags and stuck with our lot for life. Sigh heavily and part ways.
6:30: Stop at the grocery store and pick up whatever I forgot to get when I was at the grocery store yesterday (yes I do this every day). Retreat to casa maxfab.
6:45: Throw purse on the “purse chair” and clothes on the “clothes chair”. Wash face and pin up hair; heaving great sighs of relief as my skin resumes breathing and my hair is no longer brushing against my neck. Grab bottle of water #7 and whatever is passing for dinner that day. Sit at my desk in my underwear. Check twitter mentions, sign into gchat, light cigarette. Ask myself what in the entire fuck I am writing about for tomorrow.
7:00 – 10:00: gchat, talk on the phone, text, tweet, read a book while writing tomorrow’s post. Smoke many, many cigarettes. Drink bottle of water #8.
10:00: Retreat to bed with novel and/or laptop to watch movie.
10:15: Become engaged in random text message and/or gchat conversation. Tell myself I will go to sleep after one last message.
11:00: Fall asleep mid-conversation with phone in hand.
3:000am: Wake up just enough to stumble to the bathroom. Fall asleep while peeing; wake up when body lists enough to the side that I hit something. Head to kitchen, grab bottle of water and Crystal Light. Return to bed and read.
3:15am: Fall asleep with book across my chest and bottle of water in bed next to me; usually closed tightly but not always :-/
5:00am: Wake up and do it all again.
That’s what a typical day in my life looks like. It becomes more or less exciting based on what happens on twitter or during my gchat conversations, but in general it’s a pretty quiet and boring life. I like it, but my guess is you’re probably winning by having a husband and family.
What about you guys – what does a day in your life look like?