And I’m back! I apologize again for disappearing on you guys even though you obviously didn’t miss me much since not one of you hit me up to ask me why I wasn’t posting. Ya’ll don’t love me. Between the scramble to get shit done to prepare my home for non-parental house guests and my [...]
And I’m back!
I apologize again for disappearing on you guys
even though you obviously didn’t miss me much since not one of you hit me up to ask me why I wasn’t posting. Ya’ll don’t love me. Between the scramble to get shit done to prepare my home for non-parental house guests and my intrinsic wutless nature, I had no time to pre-write posts to run while I was off. And I damn sure wasn’t going to write while the girls were here. That would have been nearly impossible and a colossal waste of my primo girl-time.
A while back I wrote about how much I love hanging out with men and the advantages of being friends with men over women. And while all of that was definitely true, this weekend I was reminded of something real: something happens when girls get together.
As much fun as it is to be the only woman in a room full of men, something crazy and ridiculous and fun and touching and amazing happens when you put a bunch of women together for an extended period of time. It’s been a while since I’ve experienced it and I forgot how much fun girltime is. So for those of you who missed out – and for you men who were wondering what we were up to – here’s a rundown of what happens when girls get together.
As little clothes and as little grooming as possible
It was hot as balls in my apartment over the weekend (girls I apologize again for not biting the bullet and getting a/c) and there was no way anyone was trying to wear any more clothes than necessary while we were in the house. It was nothing but tiny shorts and tank tops in this house the entire weekend. Eff being cute – we were trying to keep ourselves from melting. And as little clothes as there were there was even less in-house grooming. Behind closed doors it was pure head ties and bare faces. No one was trying to relinquish control of their edges until the last moment before we left the house. Remember that episode of A Different World where they were studying for finals and all the girls were in the library looking crazy? Yeah that was the scene at casa maxfab this weekend. Until we stepped out of the house. Then we were slaying heaux everywhere we went.
Boys boys boys
No way you can put a bunch of heterosexual women in an apartment over the weekend without talk turning to men. And we did not even attempt it. So talk of men made frequent appearances in the conversational rotation. Real-life men, e-men, old men, and new men, they all got a turn. We gushed, we swooned, we specutlated, we told
secrets stories, we gave advice, and we schooled each other. And yes there was some misandry. Yes there was. But we’re not getting into that. And if you are a man who knows any or all of us who is wondering whether your name came up, let’s just say we left no stone unturned and leave it at that.
Is ratchedtry a word? Ratchedness? Whatever you want to call it, when girls get together it’s there in spades. Lord you guys would not like me if you heard some of the shit I was talking. As raw dog as I give it to you on the blog (pause), there is still a filter. When that filter comes off? Lord.
Food. Lots of food.
Um yeah we ate. A lot and at all times. You cannot have good girltime without us stuffing our mouths with something (pause pause pause!). Whether it was (semi)red velvet cake or takeout from The Counter or my epic breakfasts, food was the fifth girl in our foursome. Everyone’s clothes are fitting a bit more tightly now. But it was worth it.
We already loved each other before the trip, but being able to see your e-girls in real life and hear their accents and see the facial expressions when they tell their stories just makes everything a million times better. I never wanted them to leave and put some serious thought into kidnapping a certain woman and keeping her in a cage in my living room forever so I could just stare at her cute face. That makes me sound nuts but I don’t care.
Oh and in case you’re wondering, here are some things that did not happen when girls got together this weekend:
-scantily-clad pillow fights
-crying. Except “I’ll miss you” tears when people left
And that’s it. But ladies tell me – what happens when you get together with your girls? Men what happens when mens get together? Share with me in the comments.