Ask Max: What Are His Intentions?

25
Jul
2011
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From Christina: “I really stumped on what this guy’s intentions are and I was hoping you would help me make light of it. I knew this guy for about 7 months now, we met in college.I didn’t like him but, he grew on me. Last semester I had a non-serious friends with benefits situation with [...]


From Christina:

“I really stumped on what this guy’s intentions are and I was hoping you would help me make light of it. I knew this guy for about 7 months now, we met in college.I didn’t like him but, he grew on me. Last semester I had a non-serious friends with benefits situation with him but, we never had sex. Anyways, of course, I fell for him and he played me. So, with the summer coming I decided to just lose all contact with him. It worked for about a half of month and then he texts me. Now has been texting me everyday for the summer but, never calls. Even when I suggest that he calls me sometime he brushes it off. What are his intentions? Whats the point? I’m confused. Is he just bored? If you could throw some of your opinion in it ..it would be appreciated.”

So I’m trying something different this week and giving you guys and audio response rather than a video because I spent the day moving furniture and I am not fit for human consumption right now. You can listen to my response or read it below:

Ah Christina. Dear, sweet, young Christina. I want to go in on you right now but I’m going to refrain because it’s clear you’re a little green. But your problem dear Christina is that you are playing a big girl’s game that you are clearly not ready for. First of all, I want to talk to you about this friends with benefits situation you got in that did not involve sex. Christina my love, you’re missing the point! What benefits are you getting if you’re not fucking? And please for the love of God do not say cuddling.

Secondly, how did you let yourself be played by a FwB that you weren’t even fucking? That is not the way it’s supposed to go. Not at all. If you’re going to allow yourself to be played you might as well have just been in a relationship. And you tried to cut him off and only lasted two weeks? What did this man put on you?

Now on to your question. What are his intentions? He intends to make sure he can still smash. Or whatever the equivalent of smashing is in your sexless relationship. He’s keeping you warm; just to make sure that if he decides to come back and interfere with you he won’t have to start from scratch. That way, if one of the women he is paying real attention to is ever not available, he still has you as an option to give him whatever he needs at the moment he needs it.

If I were you I would declare the time of death on this one. Just quit responding to his texts until he gets bored of you. Sadly it probably will not take very long to do that. Then delete his number and move on with your life. And the next time you embark on a FwB relationship, make sure you’re getting the full benefits!

That’s my advice, what do you guys think? Anyone think this man’s intentions are honourable? Should she try to make things work with him? Give Christina some guidance in the comments.

 

 

 



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15 Comments

  • maybe i’m wrong but i thought friends with benefits included sex. i do agree with you max. she should just cut her losses and move on.

  • Amos Banks says:

    A FwB situation without sex means 68: She’s doing him and he’ll owe her one.

  • BimRock says:

    Just walk away. Don’t waste time on it.

  • Girlsixx is ChloeRayne516 says:

    Max you hit this response out of the park!! No need for anymore input. Like you said she must be green — FwB involves s.exing…. So what were her benefits??? *bbmConfusedFace*

  • Teflon Mom says:

    Cut him loose. You were right – and I am also confused at FwB without “benefits”. Da hell is that?

  • RP14 says:

    Max your response was right on point!! Just came on here to co-sign!!!

  • NinaFontaine says:

    Does she mean they didn’t have intercourse????? Like Amos said ^^ “A FwB situation without sex means 68: She’s doing him and he’ll owe her one.”
    I think something oral transpired and he did an exit stage left (that’s how you feel played)
    Girl BYE! Leave that man alone for good!

  • BP says:

    “If I were you I would declare the time of death on this one. Just quit responding to his texts until he gets bored of you. Sadly it probably will not take very long to do that. Then delete his number and move on with your life.”

    YES!!!
    Poor chile…glad she had you to straighten her out Max.

  • Larie says:

    Ignoring the texts is great advice…it works! I don’t delete the number tho, just because I do not memorize numbers anymore, instead I just replace his name with ignore–do not answer—don’t answer—or whatever. This way I will never “accidentally” answer his call or text.

    smooches,
    Larie

  • Yeah, overall, it just seems like she’s taking this relationship way more serious than he is. If a man shows you who he is… believe him the first time. This doesn’t mean that y’all can’t kick it and have fun, but she just needs to be more realistic about what he’s expecting and she should tailor her expectations to match his. Or withdraw from the situation completely.

  • Christina says:

    Ohkay .. i used the term fwb loosely and wrong, But i didnt know what to call it honestly. Idk..bt I didnt want to have sex with him..(my choice) and I’m glad I didnt. Everyones right he didnt really benefit. Which is why I was confused.. whats ur reason for still contacting me…Everyday at that. I thought maybe he was bored or had some type of scheme lol bt I felt played because after months, I wanted to start something and he didnt..but, later on he did with someone else .. I know what Im going to do now.jump ship and ignore him.lol. Hopefully it wont take long for him to get bored of me and move on to the other names. Truth hurts but, glad someone gave it to me blunt. Kinda knew it had to do with him still wanting and trying to smash bt Thankss. “Smash-less relationship”..lol i love it. Deucess.

  • NicknotNikki says:

    I was just gonna ask Max if she gets any follow ups (like they do on….. whatever show that is) and the girl leaves a comment..

    No more needs to be said..

  • SnarkyChic says:

    I will bypass the FWB but not FWB situation. My guess he continues to text because he thinks there’s a potential to invade vagistan. Now to make it clear to him that that is not the case I would suggest not returning his text messages or suggesting that he call. I can see how that might be seen as sending a mixed message.

  • nadisrad says:

    His intentions are to confuse and control. Don’t go for it. A la Max, delete the number and move on. Find a new FwB (with real benefits). Done and dusted.

  • infuyana18 says:

    Yeah I agree with max and everybody else you should just lose him. What good is he doing for you. I think that you are still texting him back because you are bored and have nothing else to do, now if there was someone else in your life to take your mind off of him (boredness) then i guarantee you that it will be much easier to ignore him. So forget his intentions and forget him…move on its too much to life than to just find out what his intentions are especially if theres nothing interesting going on.


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