As I type this, the temperature is almost 50 degrees in my apartment. That would be roughly 130 degrees for my Farenheit folks. Why am I talking to you about the weather? Because it is too damn hot to write. So I’m giving you a Nasty Friday classic courtesy of my man Lincoln Anthony Blades. Read, enjoy, comment, and don’t forget to overshare.
Romance is not an act, it’s an art and making love isn’t something you have it’s something you create. When both work together flawlessly, it can take even the most reserved of women from a cold, standoffish, asexual being to a sensuous freak craving your very touch – and it doesn’t take much.
Please don’t confuse my interpretation of Mind Sex with the lame Dead Prez song with negroes talking about “playing Chinese checkers on futons and eating garden salads and wearing kufi’s”. For me Mind Sex is all about “Penetration-Preparation” or basically everything you do before you put it in. I’ve always been a firm believer that if she is not dripping all over the place just before the sex, then you have not properly “pre-heated” the oven and the turkey ain’t ready to be put in yet.
Most people think of foreplay as an arduous and lengthy act, but it does not have to be either of those. And here’s how..
1) Greet Her PROPERLY
The first thing you need to do as a man is drop the selfishness and silly past fights and just get yourself in the mindset that you don’t matter. Not tonight. Tonight it’s all about HER. You can’t just TRY to do this, you need to FULLY commit to this way of thinking because the most important part of Mind Sex is the initial greeting – whatever way you typically greet her is NOT good enough. No “Hey”, “What’s Good?”, or “What the hell took you so long?”.
2) Be Attentive To The SMALL Things
Women are extremely attentive so they notice the smallest things when it comes to interacting with a man. And it’s not even small, OBVIOUS things like did you open the door for her or did you pull her chair out. It’s more innocuous than that. Though it’s different for every woman, it’s things like:how you introduce her to your boy that you saw at dinner (you introduced her as “My woman” and not “My friend” or just her name) or things like a non-obvious compliment or a brief sensual touch on the arm.
3) Eye Contact Is Crucial
The eyes are definitely the window to the soul and the intensity of a lustful look is what women are into. It might sound weird to us men, but it actually makes a lot of sense. Women see lack of eye contact as a lack of confidence and if you can’t stare deep into her eyes it’s either because you’re too scared, too shy or too dishonest, but whatever it is, he’s NOT someone she wants to take home and find out IF he can please her. If she playfully asks “Why are you looking at me like that?” then you have her right where you want her.
4) Every Touch is Calculated and Delivered With Force
Most men don’t know how to deliver the casual panty-moistener hug, but the ones that do know EXACTLY how something as small as a hug can go a long way in creating sexual anticipation. A woman’s body is not meant to be grabbed or groped UNTIL it’s get-it-in time; her body is meant to be EXPLORED. Unlike men, women have many erogenous zones all over their body and it’s all about caressing those parts subtly enough that you don’t look like you are just being an inexperienced, overzealous horny bastard like one of those kids from American Pie or Superbad, but without enough force that she knows YOU cherish every inch of her body even when it’s fully clothed.
5) Find The Right Pace
This is crucial. Remember that YOU don’t control the pace, and neither does she. Her body controls the pace and if you can’t read it, then you will NEVER know when she’s ready. A woman’s body cannot hide its reaction to pleasure; though she can keep a straight face or keep quiet her body will always give away how turned on she is.
The final stage of Mind Sex may be considered teasing, but I just call it “previewing.” You don’t ravish her neck and collar bone with your tongue, but you give her a strong massage and every now and then just pass your [non-chapped] lips over the back of her neck for a brief moment and feel her tense up waiting for to kiss and neck her, but don’t – just pull away slowly and let her mind imagine how good it will feel when you actually do it.
This isn’t meant to be a how to please your woman manual, just some friendly reminders that bringing out the freak in your girl doesn’t take a stripper pole or Booty Call 56 DVD’s, just some time, attention to detail and willingness to please.
What do you guys think of LAB’s take on mind sex? I know this stuff would definitely work on me, but what say you ladies? Men – what’s your strategy for penetration-preparation?
And Toronto people, don’t miss Linc on the panel at Tea Party III tomorrow. And me too, if my campaign to be the only woman on the panel is successful. The topic of the day is sexual stigmas and stereotypes and it’s sure to be a good time. You can get details and shit right here.