The thing about being a female sex and relationships blogger is that people tend to expect things of you. Readers look to you for answers, friends expect you to follow your own advice in your relationships, and your sex partners expect you to bring something spectacular to the table. You can’t write a post about how your pussy be yankin‘ one day and then two two’s you’re playing shy talking about “oh no I don’t do that”. I’m expected to be a freak in the sheets and I make it my mission not to disappoint.
But it’s not only those of us who talk the talk that are expected to bring the a-game to the bedroom. Even “regular” girls (Lord please no one start jumping down my throat for using the word regular – I can’t go through that again) need to step things up. These days if you’re striving for certified freak status, you’re going to have to bring a lot more to the table than your head game.
I don’t know if we have porn to blame for this or what, but lately it seems that men are increasing their expectations of their sexual partners. The days when finding a woman who did oral and anal sex made a man feel like he won the pussy lottery are long over. These days if you want to dazzle your man, you’re going to have to come harder. There’s a whole new crop of freaky acts out there and it would behoove you ladies to get familiar.
Now I don’t mean to suggest that you ladies must participate in anything you’re not comfortable doing. There’s nothing worse than a woman doing some shit she doesn’t really want to do – and that goes for in and out of the bedroom. But since knowledge is power (and forewarned is forearmed) I want you ladies to know what’s out there so you can start making decisions about what you will and will not do before your love comes down and clouds your judgment.
Ass to Mouth
Now I’ve already told you all that you should not be ruling out the rim job. Like I said in this post, this is definitely a “don’t knock it til you tried it” type of move. A lot of people are really squeamish about the merging of the mouth and the asshole and it’s not something you should be ruling out unilaterally without giving it a try. But even for those ladies who are down for a few licks, ATM is a live woman’s move. As the name implies, it involves taking in your mouth a dick that was in an ass just a second ago. Yeah you have to be a G to undertake this, but a woman who’s a G in the bedroom is a beautiful fucking woman, don’t forget that.
Now I don’t know too many women who aren’t into a little pain with their pleasure, but if a man asks you to let him ginger you you might want to take a minute to think it over. Ever grate a piece of ginger for tea and then accidentally rub your eye? The shit stings right? Now imagine that grated piece of ginger inserted in your ladyflower (or other orifices) and you know what I’m talking about. Now I’m not one to judge any sexual act
that doesn’t involve excrement so far be it from me to to say you shouldn’t be doing this. But just be aware that this was originally something done to old horses to “liven them up” and ask yourself just how live you want to get in your next thronxing session.
This is a pretty tame act that just has a wild name. All it means is that when your man is deep inside you, you both stay still and you work those Kegel muscles to get him off. Now really this is a skill you should already have in your arsenal, but when executed in combination with a little bondage, you might just clench your way to anything your little deviant heart desires.
Ladies let me tell you something: if a man asks you if you’re into snowballing, he’s trying to #swindle you into a threesome. Snowballing is taking a man’s nut in your mouth and depositing it in someone else’s mouth and if it’s only the two of you in the room you might have bigger problems on your hands, if you know what I mean.
If you’re the kind of woman who doesn’t swallow and a man asks you if you’d be willing to get into a little snowballing, you might want to abort mission (and just FYI if he asks you if you’re into felching you might want to run for the hills). But if you’re one of those women who
has conned the idiot you’re fucking into believing you just loves swallowing, snowballing might just be your signature move.
So there you have it – an introduction into some stuff that might make you reconsider the next time you want to brag to a man that you’re a freak. But what say you ladies? Any of you have experience with these acts? Men have you ever asked a woman to do any of this? It’s not Friday but overshare with me a little bit in the comments.
I have a new obsession. Not that I needed one more thing to ...
So you've found a dude and your parts are getting oiled on a ...
So my friends over at Lelo have come through with another amazing ...
Last week we touched on a very hot topic around these parts - ...