He Always Pokes Me



Watch the video to see my response.

For those of you who can’t view the video, what I basically said is that I’m of two minds here. On the one hand, my innate girl-logic immediately leads me to the conclusion that this dude is just not feeling her for whatever reason and she should just write him off and move on with her life. I mean really – poking? We’re still doing that? Come on now.

On the other hand I’m reminded of the advice a wise man once gave me which is that some men are stupid when it comes to communicating effectively with women. Sometimes the legitimately don’t know any better. So if she’s really feeling this dude – which it seems she is – it might be worth her while to just say something to him. In a light hearted, non-bitchy, non-demanding way, she should let it be known that she would like to actually converse with him, rather than just being the recipient of endless pokes. Because again, really – are we still poking people?

At the end of the day, we would all be better off if we erred on the side of over-communicating. Too many situations in life get fucked up because everyone is making assumptions about what’s going on in everyone else’s mind instead of just growing some stones an speaking on it. So be a big girl and tell this boy no more poking!

That’s my take on it – what say you guys? Would you bother to address it or just move on with your life? Weigh in with your advice in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 16

  1. Malik says:

    Poke is the booty call button in America last I was informed. And before you ask, yes, booty has been gotten simply by poking. Not by me because I poke people to annoy them.

  2. Kyra says:

    Hello! This is Kyra! Thank you so much for posting this! I feel a lot better and its great to have someone else’s insight on situations like this. He is Retarded in the communication field. He said he was doing it to get my attention, but when he got it I’m like now what??? & he never responds back to any type of messages I sent him. So now that I know we cannot be on that type of level, I have separated myself from him in certain areas. The last time we talked he said he would call me back, but I have mentally prepared myself for anything that he may throw at me. We are not in 6th grade anymore i cannot make him do anything or force him to grow up.

    Thanks again for the advice!
    Much love,

    1. OSHH says:

      Keep it moving sis.

  3. poking on facebook? who even uses facebook like that anymore?

    do y’all stay in the same city? if so why is his primary form of contact facebook. he needs to pick up the phone at least. i think you should at least say something and if his behavior doesn’t change then you need to start thinking about letting it go.

    1. LaLaBakir says:


      that poking sh*t is lame overall. I still don’t understand the point of it. No matter how “retarded” he may be when it comes to communication…poking is just the worse! I mean, dude could at least take the time and send an e-mail since it appears as if he’s hiding behind the computer screen for some reason.

  4. TellyLongLengs says:

    I would move on.

  5. Sam Sharpe says:

    A girl poked me once. Then I poked her back. Then she poked me again. Then I said to myself this shit is lame and it needs to stop. Grown a** people do not poke. If you want to communicate, you communicate. Poking someone, particularly someone you already know, more than once is beyond annoying. It is short bus stupid…

    …Yes some of us are stupid when it comes to communicating but if you tell him or express to him a desire to communicate in real-world-adult terms (like sending him messages) and he continues to poke, this is no longer “communication stupid” it’s “stupid stupid”….Do you really want to waste time on someone that stupid?

    The prosecution rests your honour.

  6. Reecie says:

    funny you wrote about this and Streetz asked about fb poking on twitter last week too.

    you look cute in this video too, all glowy! I can only see the still–for some reason it won’t play for me

    my friend and I poke each other on facebook all the time. its silly to me, but we are silly. I agree with you, she probably should just let him know or better yet initiate convo with him herself. if he doesn’t take the bait, on to the next.

  7. RedLady821 says:

    I laughed at the poke thing. Sometimes I will look on my screen and see a poke and I always ignore it. I’m like really? Poking? I would move on as well, he’s not worth the time or effort that she’s putting into him.

  8. Starita34 says:

    Great advice. When I first read the question, I thought “Leave him alone, simple. He’s obviously not interested” But your bit re: people assuming that others know what they are thinking/feeling/why they are behaving a certain way is an excellent point. So like you said, tell the dude that poking isn’t what’s up and while you’re at it, tell him that the jheri curl and 8 tracks are no longer “in” either , give him a chance to communicate with you in a way that you deem appropriate and if he doesn’t then you can leave knowing that you did what you could and that you’re only missing out on years of frustrating communication arguments.

  9. SnarkyChic says:

    Clearly I learn something new everyday…I assumed the poke feature was there simply to annoy my friends. We play these childish poke games with each other from time to time.

    But to the question…I think she should leave this guy alone. While I understand the slowness of men in the communication department it takes absolutely nothing to send a text message. And quite honestly a text message is one of the most insensitive methods of communication that exits. If this guy can’t put up enough initiative to text what’s really the point. Woman logic…maybe but come on how much effort does it take to text someone. At this point she’s not even asking for a phone call, you know the adult mode of communication. I say let it go.

  10. me says:

    uhmmmmm…. I’m no relationship expert but in my 20-something years on this earth and my **cough cough** years in dealing with the opposite sex… i know if a guy wants you..there’s nothing on this earth that will stop him from getting to you, at you,with you or in you.
    it’s ok.. poke his aft back and keep it moving… you’re grown!

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