Your Favourite Male Bloggers in Bed (Calling Out Names)
2011
I don't consider myself an e-groupie. I don't aspire to bone the men behind the blogs I so enjoy. With one exception. Okay two. No - three. But that's neither here nor there. I get enough offers in the 3D world to keep my coffers full, so you're unlikely to catch me buying a plane ticket to travel for some blogger ass.
All the same though, with all the talking we do on the e-streets about relationships and sex, is it any wonder that I spend at least a little of my time thinking about the men who get my minds open on a regular basis? Well the single ones that is. I forbid myself from spending too much time thinking about the ones with wives or wifeys lest I feel compelled to line-step. You guys already know how I am.
So yeah. When I see a new avatar or catch a racy tweet, can you blame me if my mind starts to wander? It’s only natural that I spend a fair amount of time wondering what some of my favourite male bloggers are like in bed. And I’m a pretty insightful person so I think I have a pretty good idea about which of them would put it on me so good I want to call him Mr. Max.
For instance, I think Wis‘s dick is like drugs. He’s the one who can half-step his way through fucking you and still have you scratching at his door begging for more. Because he is the one who makes you feel like he loves you when he fucks you. He fucks you dirty but respectfully. Makes an effort not to fall asleep instantly afterward. Holds you close and tells you nice things that are just close enough to the truth for you to believe them.
I think Sam Sharpe is the one who fucks you slow, fucks you long. It takes hours and you feel wrung out when it’s over. He’s the one who will do everything you expected but in a way you never imagined. He’ll talk to you at first to get you warmed up, but once the action starts he shuts up and gets down to business and the only noise you’re gonna hear is your own sharp gasp and then low moans so deep they’re like growls. He’s the one that leaves you flung out over your bed, chest heaving, panting oh. my. GOD!
Now Tunde is the one who makes you scream his name. Not just because you want to, but because he tells you to. He’s the one that can fuck you slow and soft but quicker than you know what’s happening will flip your ass over and pound into you from the back like a battering ram and you love the surprise as much as you love the sensation. He’s the one that will do everything to you and you won’t even have to ask. The one who won’t stop until you’re satisfied.
Lincoln is the one that will have you wide open before he lays a hand on you. He’s the one that wants to look at you. Just look. From every angle. He’ll study you with a dispassionate expression on his face, touch you neutrally, impersonally, until you’re panting and dripping with anticipation. Linc is the one who will fuck you in ways you didn’t know were legal. The one for whom it’s true when you say “no one ever did that to me before”. He’s the one that leaves an imprint on you after he fucks you; has you shuddering with post-sex aftershocks for the rest of the week.
And then there is my favourite, Dr J. Now the good doctor is the one you pull out the stops for. He’s the one you want to impress. He’s the one that will blow your mind without breaking a sweat. He’s the man that will blindfold you, tie you up, make your heart race in fear. The one that will literally rip your panties off you and fuck every thought of how much they cost right out of your mind. He’s the one that will hurt you, fuck you til your moans turn to sobs. He’s the one that will push you hard over your boundaries, make you do things you don’t want to admit you did. But you loved it and you’ll try to train every man you fuck after him to do it like he does. But they can’t.
I know you guys spend your fair share of time thinking about what your e-peeps are like in bed. It’s Friday so overshare your thoughts in the comments. And you know we bloggers are nothing if not narcissists, so please feel free to speculate about what you think I’m like.
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I wanted to be the first person to respond but this is completely not my element.
hmmm… interesting assessment of me.
yes there are a couple of bloggers/commenters whom i think about as far as sex is concerned. by a couple i mean 2. and by 2 i really am particularly interested in the particulars of 1 blogger/commenter.
ok i’m back… up after 2.5 hours of sleep and i’m ready to get back on this jack….before i do that and forget to get back to the post let me overshare a little bit.
either way my list (of 2) includes:
LaLaBakir and Muze…
lala’s ass is amazing. so i imagine how backshots would be. the kickback against my dick would be the stuff legends are made of. i also want to the view from reverse cowgirl. her ass aside she has that quiet confidence that makes me think that she really puts it down in the bedroom. the type of sex that will make you get up and get her a warm washcloth and a sandwich.
muze seems like the type of woman that is ultra sensual. burning a million candles, massage oils, rose petals in the bubble bath. she’ll lotion you down, give you a massage and have some marvin gaye playing in the background. all this before you even think about having sex. plus muze is a little on the slender side. for the most part my experience has taught me those are the ones you have to watch out for.
lala’s ass is amazing.
that is all.
yep. i’ve seen first hand.
Miss Lady…you crack me up on your co-sinage of Tush!!! LOL
I second, third and fourth the statement that LaLa’s ass IS amazing.
Square biz, I have a special video saved on my phone of a man, that in my head, delivers the type of performance I imagine Wis delivers. It’s one of my fave flicks.
You’re ballsy for naming names, this was very interesting…I imagine Sam as much more aggressive and perverse than you painted him, but that probably says more about me than him…
Your description of Linc is almost exactly as I imagine Blogxilla.
Very fun post!
I have to agree with your last one Max. It’s weird when you only “know” someone through their words. You feel a closeness of sorts like they are giving you a peek into their worlds. Dr. J is definitely my e-world/blogger crush. I love his posts on SBM and Book of Jackson. (feel almost groupie like saying that….LOL!!) If he could put it down half as well as you described, #goodGodalmighty!!! Plus he’s very easy on the eyes.
It’s such a mind fuck isn’t it? But I try to remember that they are real people and we only read them at their edited best. It almost feels selfish to take and never give, is that how groupies are born? lol
But I don’t edit anymore…
lol…
But no seriously, i’m real happy about this post, real happy about it. But I try and give it to y’all raw, no protection. (Wait… I need to chill with the satire before we get into it on a Friday.)
#MrPopular
By edited I only meant spell checked and preconceived. I don’t see you guys pull many punches when it comes to your writing.
Oh yes !! I have a huge crush on Dr. J tooo. Dayumn, that guy’s bad, for what he writes and how he looks like. #hotandintellectual.
Being that I’m new to the bloging world and I try not to comment often, I am redicent yet almost anxious to say everything I want about you Max. Every woman I know has an opinion, but you truly think like a man in most respects. I can only conclude you fuck like one. I imagine you have that hot fire that leaves a mans eyes tight and blood pumping with adrenaline. I imagine lying on the bed, spent and looking over and only being able to think… “damn” being happily single that thought also freaks me out, because I would have to wonder “what now?” but I’m also sure no one could slip and fall into your… bedroom so easly and without any clearcut plans or intentions. Now that I’ve shared and feel like a perv and a loser for admiting my e-lust, all I ask is that you don’t send Chris Hanson and Dateline to track my ip address. (least I’m not a facebook e-stalker)
*sniffs the air* I smell Adonis…
Naw…too coherent.
Didn’t you kill me last week w/ one of your Adonis comments?!!!!
*dies again*
Not sure how many lives I have left Teflon. Please cut down on the funniness.
SLAYED.
As always Max, I’m flattered to have my name escape your lips or fingers as the case may be. Your interpretation of me is interesting but I no need to bask in my own vanity at this time, though I sincerely appreciate the gentle stroking – of the ego that is. Since you named names I’ll act in kind.
There is, of course, yourself. Like any man, I’m curious if you can back up all the sh*t you talk around the blog streets. Actually can you back it up, period. Less I forget the many other positions and vivid images you’ve described yourself in both first hand and in fantasy. A man can only wonder – and wonder he does.
I also have an e-crush on your fellow sex-positive female blogger, Lidia Anain. For one, she’s like 4 feet tall and I can imagine myself tossing her little @ss around and guiding her by a handful of that curly full headed mane of hair she posses. I wouldn’t mind that at all.
Unfortunately, my female blogger selection is limited. Although there are a few commenters around the e-streets and Twitter who’s Avis do arouse the imagination, among other things. Those are too many to name, so I’ll just leave it at that.
I absolutely love this post. I agree the most with your descriptions of Tunde and Dr. J.
I just would like to say THAT WIM (Wisdom is Misery), is my my e-blogger crush without a doubt! For oh – so -many reasons
.
This post is the pervy blogging equivalent to 50 Cent’s “How To Rob.”
Gonna have to go ‘head a sit this one out due to the marital status and whatnot. Thought about dropping an #IfIWereSingle comment,, but there’s no real respectful way to do so… so… have fun…
*pulls up chair, passes popcorn and sweet tea. Strikes up convo about kids, mortgage rates and the new season of True Blood*
Observation Deck for me today as well.
That’s just how I imagined linc <3 yumm
Nice post Maxine…love your boldness!
I think I may have to excercise my right to plead “da fif” in regards to over sharing…although I may change my mind and come back later.
I will place my co-sign here. There was a couple of other male bloggers I would like to describe but that would be borderline disrespectful in more ways than one.
I want to respect the married blogger
don’t judge me I’m humanbut the OTHER blogger I’ve thought of….You know who is fine as hell and I know would put a hurting on me, Streetz. I would come over with my hair au natural because he wouldn’t let me keep a press. I can imagine him having me touch my toes and hold my ankles while getting it from the back talking about “See-aren’t-you-glad-I-had-you-stretch-out-before-this” with each thrust. And when I was doing otha thangs, I could hear him saying” you see these abs baby? …I’ve been workin’em out for you…touch’em while you down there”….oooooh yummmm.
*FAINTS*
And your hair would HAVE TO BE natural because he sweats out presses too easily…
you went HARD.IN.THA.PAINT!!
LMBOO
i am dying over here at that hyphenated sentence. lmbooo.
dying!
LaLa Stamp Of Approval
“I can imagine him having me touch my toes and hold my ankles while getting it from the back talking about “See-aren’t-you-glad-I-had-you-stretch-out-before-this” with each thrust”
*Faints and Laughs Simultaneously*
BP WINS.
LMAOOOOOOOO
LMAO @ “you see these abs baby”
BP you’re silly…lolol
Thanks for the love tho!
I’m with Lala! I’m not going to over share but I will say I like the sound of everything.
I can see your assessment on a couple of your mentions.
*LeansBackinChaiseLounge*
The one that I have thought of is not mentioned here……. so we’ll leave it there….
Alright alright… I’ll be better….
I have a severe crush on a blogger named after a city (this isn’t news) but now that I think about it, I never thought about him in bed.. mostly because I was too busy gushing over his writing and saying “his sexy ass” whenever someone mentioned him to me… but in bed? not that i can remember…
Now, until this post, I hadn’t thought of Streetz.. but I imagine him talking about the physical advantages of every different pose…
“you know, this one right here gets the obliques AND the quads.. but let’s make sure we stretch after… and I already got the protein shakes on deck..”
Then he’d calculate the amount of calories that was just worked off…
I’m just sayin….
LMAO at Coach Streetz!!!
*Deceased*
*dead*
*cackles*
We can share Streetz
Wow… Just… Wow
hahahahahahhahaha!
LMAOOOO Hate you Nik!
Love it… classic Max here.
oh my eyes. the images these descriptions have conjured.
there’s only one blogger i wonder about. and that’s all i’ll say about that.
bold post. lol. only you, Max.
I absolutely love this post!! Your description of these men makes me want to find their blogs and play catch up. You have made my day once again Ms Max, and I do thank you.
WIS is my definite favorite and he makes me want to pick his brain and then jump his bones with every post/tweet.
Dr J has his days that turn on my imaginations, and leaves me wanting more.
I think I still have more to learn about Sam Sharp before I can make my final assessment.
I so agree with your discription of WIM! Since I’m pretty new to the e-streets and mearly a commentor. I figure eff it I’m grown — I can be bold lol I’ve told Slim he’s my e-crush! (I love Ques) So I imagine he has a thick shlong with a long tongue. Skill so tough you’ll climax without him even touching you!
)
I think I’ve said too much already –
Daaaaaaamn Nina! Go ‘head and tell us what you really think!
Get it girl! You’ve got a vivid imagination! I’ll admit though, he can’t talk about having thick, strong thighs without me thinking about the power behind ‘em if ya know what I’m saynnnnn.
Oh My. Miss Nina!! *ClutchesPearls*
I can’t reply because I’m on my mobile. Was that too much? Lol *blushing*
Girl, Fridays are meant for oversharing!
I am going to go left you. I’m a female and because of her avi on twitter I fantasize about max. I imagine that she would be in charge and I would be submissive then switch. I think that she would want me to be pleased in whatever way, toys to tongue but I would have to work 2x harder to get her to cum. Strap on maybe an order to tame her a bit but could be done. I am going to stop now and have a chronic break….:) ; love this fuckin post
*starts petition to watch*
This reminds me of some past season of Bad Girls, where the I’m-not-a-lesbian chick was having 3way shower sex with some buddies, and the housemates pulled up chairs, got some popcorn and watched – that ish was tooo funny.
*hands over the popcorn*
*grabs handful of popcorn*
Thank you. Would you like some peanut M&Ms or Junior Mints?
*starts recording*
You guys can only watch if you record it. I would liketo see her face while she is riding mine and when I’m giving her backshots. I’m trying to not get graphic but…..
G’lawd haf mersay
Now I gots to pull up a seat….
Pass the popcorn, willya Star?
This comment wins for many reasons, not the least of which is that the only person who had the balls to speculate about me in detail actually has no balls at all.
*clears throat* Welp, I’ve succumbed to peer pressure and will over share on today.
It’s no secret that I’m #TeamSkinny dudes, and with that said Sir WIM has crossed my mind a time or two. I think his skinny, light skinned self may be packing something serious. He talks a lot of sh*t too. I like that. I like it alot.
I won’t beat the Coach Streetz fantasy with a dead horse, but judging from the comments, he has a nice starting line up, LMAO
I imagine Tunde as being very similar to Max’s description. A take charge kind of guy…telling you what to do…slightly aggressive. That image plays into my more passive side, as well as tapping into a more freaky side of LaLa. Type of dude that will have you doing things that you never done before…but you like it. Nah, you love it. I also think it would be interesting b/c we both are competitive…wondering how that would play out in the bedroom. Trying to out f*ck each other until one of us is the champ
meSee THIS is why I shouldn’t be reading Max’s blog on Fridays. This is niiiice! You and Tu boy. Mmm hmmm.
Peer Pressure, like cocaine…. is a hell of a drug….
Yes, yes it is. I feel vunerable now. LMAO!
i got nothing on this post…but have been meaning to post this question
if a sex blogger has sex with another sex blogger..is it expected that it will be written about (even if its undercover)? is there no expectation of privacy?
just curious
*looks for the popcorn previous mentioned
I think sex bloggers are the most private people on earth (which I find highly ironic) so I think there’s definitely the expectation that what happens among bloggers be vaulted.
Personally if I were to ever go there there is no way I would ever write about it on here. Maybe for my private collection, but I couldn’t post it. No way.
On the other hand, I would totally want him to write about me. I’d love to see what he said. Even if it was bad. Which it wouldn’t be because we all know my pussy be yankin’ and shit
I co-sign everything you just said.
I think I see Sam the same way you described him along with the way you described Dr.J which does all kinds of special things to me.
Nice brave posty post.
This is funny.
Afternoon
I will not impersonate anyone else… My shoes are already a big enough job as it is…
And my writing style is very discernable, although it will evolve with time…
love you @Teflon…
And for the record, anyone who is having fantasies about sleeping with me, I will kill it for you right now…
I am a D- in bed… I need alot more practice…
Love this post…
Max, I will blow your back out given half the chance… That goes for Blackgirlunlost (Jubi), Lifesaltar @ wordpress (Toya) & Miss Jenkins (from the TWTTI regime)…
I will go back to forced lurking now…..
Im not ashamed to say Slim is on the top of my list. I had to delurk for this post.
Where have I been all day. How did I miss this shit?….
First off max, I’m flattered to be including among such illustrious company. And since you and I share an area code the temptation hit you up on a “let’s get this shit started” vibe is palpable…
…your characterization of my style of play was fascinating; I may have to see if I can poll some past loves and see what’s what.
As for my e-crushes, I’m not going to name names but there are many…but I’m kind of like the kid in school too shy to approach the object of his affections (except you max, you know I think you’re the shit)…but I’ve seen 1 or 2 up here in the comments section….
….one more thing. I’ve read several mentions of LaLa’s out of this world posterior. Why am I just finding out about this? She’s got smarts, impeccable taste in music AND an ass that won’t quit. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit! That’s what e-crushes are made of.
You have no idea, LaLa is the prototypical woman…gorgeous even with no makeup, banging body (I mean BANGIN), laid back, great style, funny, chill…it’s sickening really.
JK, I lub you and Tush LaLa
Hilarious!
Max, You’re Better Than Me…I Can’t Daydream About Woman’s E-Persona’s Because I’m Always Afraid I Will Run Into Them In Real Life Somehow And Instead Of Being That Sexy, Fashion-Forward, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Listening Dimepiece, It Will Be Some Frowsy Chick In An Imitation African-Sarong Singing P.M. Dawn Songs In Split Toe Sandals Downtown Talking ‘Bout “OPPRESSION! I Wrote A Song About It – Like Ta’ Hear It? Here It Goes”
…A Dream Deferred…
Whyyyyyyyyy didn’t I read this post this morning while I was still lounging in bed?! I coulda had my nails painted.
Star darling….is there any popcorn left?
And note to Sam and Max….I’m in the same damn area code. I don’t e’en wanna participate. Can I just watch quietly? Ok and maybe record it for all your fans?!
Yes to allllllllll of this Maxie. Especially after having met THEE Mr. Sharpe last week *adjusts self*
And I think I’ve expressed my lust for WIM and Dr. Jay already. They’d get it every day and thrice on Sundays.
Yeah. Wow.
Nice post Max…
I had a nice little story to tell, but I decided to keep it simple.
Max – Of all the female bloggers I read, she is the only one with a freak level on par with my own. Remember that episode of Game of Thrones? Yeah, that one. And if you’re own twitter, you’ve that sexy back.
Streetz – This is dude is a mystery to me. He doesn’t seem to share much during Nasty Fridays, and frankly, that mysterious shit is exciting. Real talk, what’s really good in between the sheets with Streetz. That is the question…
Tunde – mmm… I imagine, hell I believe with all my heart, that he is as big and long as his height suggests. I piqued his interest regarding a certain delectable dalliance, and even though he is very experienced, I know there’s at least one trick I can teach him. With size, experience, and a willingness to learn, together we would be awesome.
Slim – I like my men on the swole side, and Slim is nice. With a body like that, I can see him on top of me, my legs pushed back, him diving deep, whispering in my ear, telling me how he loves digging in my buns. He knows how I like how he says buns. That NY accent be killing me…
Now, of course, If I could have all 4 of these folks in the room, at the same time… I think we could cover several different porn genres. Good shit…
Oooh man, I really regret being late on this one.
well damn lol.
i’m late but im still participating
being in Jamaica makes it a true waste to even ponder this so I pay them very little attn outside of their blogs but I do follow WIM, Slim, and PanamaJackson on twitter…..the first two were def superficial follows and Panama I followed before i even knew what he looked like cus he’s so hilarious and thats all a man needs eh…
This post and the related comments made me blush!
Damn… I’m mad I just discovered this though…