My fellow diehard SBM fans will recognize the title of this post and think I’m topic-jacking, but you guys should know me better than that by now. For one thing, those guys have written about everything under the fucking sun at least twice. And for another, since an epic lack of modesty is one of [...]
My fellow diehard SBM fans will recognize the title of this post and think I’m topic-jacking, but you guys should know me better than that by now. For one thing, those guys have written about everything under the fucking sun at least twice. And for another, since an epic lack of modesty is one of the very few qualities I share with the author of the original post, it’s only right that I was born to use mics I pay homage to that most amazing of posts by writing about my love affair with myself.
So yeah – I’m in love with myself. Not the most attractive quality for a woman to have, but some of the world’s most attractive people are pretty unattractive when you examine them closely. Plus I’m in love with myself so I really don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about that.
Vain people such as myself have a bad reputation for being vapid and self-centred, but it’s not really fair. For one thing I am neither and for another, those qualities have absolutely nothing to do with attractiveness. There’s a whole lot of ugly-ass vapid and self-centred people in this world. You know it’s true.
As far as I can see, those of us who love ourselves are winning at life. Not just because we’re amazing, but because we don’t waste time worrying about dumb shit. If a man rejects me, I don’t sit around and wonder what I did wrong; I sit around and wonder how he could be so stupid as to let me go. If girls are bitchy to me, I don’t attempt to ingratiate myself to them by squelching my amazingness – I just give them a “haters are gonna hate” shrug and go on about my business. And the best part? No one can ever blackmail me with naked pictures of myself because I don’t care who sees them – I look amazing naked.
Me? Wrong? Never!
Here’s a little secret between me, you, and the lamp post: I never do anything wrong. Most of the arguments I get into and all of my failed relationships are because the other party failed to pull his weight, or misinterpreted something I said or did, or didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions. It’s never because of a misstep I took because….I don’t do that. Sounds incredible right? But I’m just that good.
The wall of love and the book of love.
I’m not one for decorating my home – I don’t even have curtains so any asshole who looks can see me in all my naked glory (which of course I don’t mind since – as previously discussed – I look amazing naked). But what I do have in my home is a wall of love and a book of love. The wall of love is actually my refrigerator and it’s covered with every card or letter I’ve received since I’ve lived here from a friend or a fan telling me how much they love me. Or how awesome/funny/amazing I am.
Just in case that doesn’t gas my head up enough, I also have a scrapbook I received as a gift from my family for my 30th birthday. It’s filled with letters from friends and relatives telling me how wonderful I am and how much they love me.
I read these shits on a near-daily basis. And while a mere mortal’s modesty might prevent him from fully appreciating all those superlatives, I just say yup. Fucking right.
Have mirror, will stare.
You can try to speak to me when there’s a mirror around, but don’t tell me anything too important. I’m listening, but I’m also fascinated by the vision of loveliness that is before me. I’m just so fascinating to look at; the way my lips move when I speak, the way my nostrils flare slightly when I’m angry, the way I raise one eyebrow when I think you’re full of shit. My reflection is the greatest show on earth, how could I ever not watch it?
Damn I’m a fucking great writer.
I’m the first to admit that when it comes to writing I’m not on my A-game all the time. But when I’m hot, I’m fucking hot. I know when I’m writing something if it’s going to be amazing and when that happens, it takes me twice as long to finish it because I keep stopping to marvel at what I’ve written thus far. I peruse my favourite posts on probably a weekly basis and no matter how many times I read them I say – yup. I’m fucking wicked.
Clothes don’t make me man.
Take a peek in the “nightlife” section of my closet and what will you see? Jeans, tank tops, and hot shoes. That’s really all I need in my life of sin. All neutral colours because I don’t need my clothes to draw attention away from me. The way I see it, fancy clothes, fancy colours, fancy makeup, that shit is for girls who are innately lacking and need to jazz things up. I’ll dress nicely if the occasion warrants it; but I’m just as hot in $15 Forever 21 jeans and a $7 Joe wifebeater as I am in a $1000 Gucci dress. So I just keep it simple and let my innate gorgeousness shine through.
What can I say? I love myself because I am amazing. But what about you guys? Are you in love with yourselves? Count the ways in the comments.
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I wish I could be this in love with myself.
I adore myself…working towards getting up to having a full fledged love affair.
I love me some me…
The older I get, the more I fall in love with myself. I can’t stop looking at myself, I love my reflection. Whether it be a car, elevator doors, office windows, I love looking at my reflection. However, I don’t think its vain, per se. I think that I am finally seeing myself for the beautiful and awesome person I’ve always been, but never fully acknowledged.
I’m not big on wearing makeup, just because I think my face is pretty awesome on its on. If the occasion warrants a jazzy look, I can do that, but mascara and Viva Glam Lipglass is all I need. I have to thank my ancestors for good genes. lol.
I live by the motto… “I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.” Basically, I’m right about 99.978% of the time, regardless of the topic at hand. My siblings hate this, but they usually get over it.
My old age has allowed me to never give a fudge about what people say about me. Basically, if you’re not important to me, your opinion of me is not important. My self-esteem is on a hundred, thousand, trillion. Your negative opinion of me only hurts you.
Nice post, Max. I could go on, because I love talking about myself. But, I must get dressed for work… it takes a while. lol.
“have mirror, will stare”….heh heh. So glad I’m not the only one
Nice post Maxie! I’m at the same point w/ HLBB. Some adoration goings ons, but a full fledge love affair…not yet.
I have an admiration for myself, wouldn’t say I’m in love with myself though. I’d probably break my own heart.
I love myself, quite literally… a lot. Nail painting FTW!
Oh, wait… you mean that. Ok.
Yes, I do often find myself staring at mirrors in vain. Even doing cutesy poses when I’m really bored AND vain. It’s like “you’re so vain, you probably think this reflection is about you, don’t you, don’t youuuuu.”
And, hey! Bright colors are a reflection of being in a bright mood! But, I ain’t eeeem gon’ lie, I do feel an extra pep when I look fly in just a tank top and jeans. It really is a somethin kind of special to be able to pull off the sexy… simply.
Are you an Aries? That’s our motto! I believe that being in love with myself makes me easier to be around. I don’t engage in a lot of squabbling, usually when someone tries to insult me I brush it off as the ramblings of an inferior being. No need for a response unless I feel like being a clown. For some reason, those of us who are content with ourselves draw the ire of the masses of people who aren’t. I didn’t spend a lot of my single time wondering “what the hell is wrong with me, why don’t I have a man?” I thought it a few times, but it wasn’t a pressing matter and I concluded that something was wrong with the men, and therefore my man selection process. I enjoy my alone time, because I enjoy time with me. That means I don’t get bored and fall into the traps that boredom will lead you to (I’m starting to think that 96% of all bad decisions start off with the person saying “I’m bored…”) I don’t bring my friends down with an incessant need for validation. I can take a *real* joke. I feel comfortable performing in front of an audience. As my country mom has said before “You must think your ass weighs a ton!” That’s West Virginia speak for I Think I’m the Shit, lol. She’s been saying that since I was about 4.
i’m with you maxie. i love myself completely and unapologetically. some people think i’m vain but i’m far from that. one thing i don’t agree with on the reasons why you love yourself is that you don’t believe that you’re ever wrong.
as much as i love myself i know that i still have flaws and there are times that i am dead wrong. what i do is accept my flaws and/or shortcomings, move on and continue to bask in my greatness.
great post.
Max there isn’t anything wrong with being YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER. If not you -then Who?!??
I love Me some Me Too!!!! As you get older you become more comfortable with yourself as a whole that’s one of the greatest benefits when people hit 30 and beyong.
I’m 33 3/4 and lovin it!!!
*beyond*
Ima dick yo… who can love a bastard *Game of THrones Voice* like myself?
lolol
good post Maxie!
you get a super thumbs up from me for watching game of thrones..
I do the mirror thing as well.
I totally love jazzy clothes though and always will. its my “art” LOL. but I share your love for shoes–and YOU definitely have great taste in shoes, mama!
I won’t call you out on all the “fancy makeup” you own though.
great post.
Hahaha it’s all fancy but it’s all neutral colours!
Max is lying like shit in this article though.
I can’t fall too deep in love with myself, because I have alot of improvement to make…
But good for you guys who are deeply self-absorbed…
I’m in love with my personality but my body needs an overhaul. I’m working on it though.
I wish my reflection could come out and play.
Great post….. I think if people randomly read this and not because they follow you, then they all would of types in the question “I think I live myself”
So in saying that I don’t think everyone has to be stuck up or think they are better than anyone else if they love themselves. I think It’s about the inner peace you find within yourself to be in that happy place to succeed in life. Once you’re fully in touch with yourself to like every part about yourself then you truly know that you can -love, move forward in life, focus your energy on other things in life and so on……. And what it boils down to is acceptance!!!!! ACCEPTANCE is the key factor here. Once we fully accept ourselves for who we are we can let go of the vain things let go of the insecurities let go of the negative thinking. So in my mind is there anything wrong with loving yourself?….. NO being in love with yourself? (unless it gets in the way of the other parts of your life) NO
All it’s going to do is help you do is continue on you’re journey through life fulfilled and happier!
Love yourself! why not, I DO!
That is all
Peace