The Best Words I Never Use


Given that I was known in another life as “the walking dictionary”, it comes as no surprise that I love words. Weird words, obscure words, dirty words, and of course big words. I love them all (almost) equally.

In my writing and in my speech, I spend a lot of time paying attention to words. I choose my words carefully. I’m often teased for pronouncing them with excessive precision. I don’t like to waste words and I definitely don’t mince them. I love words and I believe in treating them with respect.

Unfortunately though it is the nature of life that some of the best most funnest words are the words we rarely get the opportunity to use. At work it’s all industry jargon – I say “eventize” on a near-daily basis. On the e-streets it’s pure #hoeshit and #shotsfired. And of course when it comes to secksy time, only one word matters – fuck. Some of the words for which I have the utmost of love in my heart never get the opportunity to cross my lips. So today we pay homage to the best words I never use.


Tell me you’ve ever seen a better word than that. Look how long it is! (TWSS) I love this word so much but the only time I’ve ever been able to use it is in discussions of words I love that I never get to say, because to say “I live next door to a church so I hear the tintinnabulation of the bells all fucking day” would be stupid.


I read this sentence in a book once “Oh Iris is earnest, prolix, and troubled!” and I never forgot it. It’s the only place I’ve ever seen this word before and that made me love it because I feel like it belongs to me alone. I actually find prolix to be an abhorrent quality in a human being, but I love the word all the same.


Whenever I catch anyone sidling in my life I always say they’re moving sideways or moving left; probably because I always forget this word exists. But I love it.


I often think this word to myself when I’m beefing with someone. It goes something like this: this motherfucker is operating under the misapprehension that I am an idiot. And while it’s okay to think something like that when I’m angry; I feel like if I were to say that I would seem like a poseur – angry people don’t speak like that. Angry people say “this motherfucker think he slick”.


I had to have at least one cuss word on this list. I have loved the word fuckery since I was 16 and overheard a girl using it in the bathroom of a Western party. I’ve been planning to add it to my regular rotation of swear words and I always fucking forget. Ain’t that some fuckery?

And the best word I always use:


I say this a lot, because the people in my life do it a lot. And almost every time I say it I get a blank stare. But I just look at them pointedly, raise one eyebrow, and dare anyone to ask me what it means. No one ever does.

That’s it for my list, what about you guys? What great words do you love but never get to use? Vociferate in the comments.


bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 23

  1. Malik says:

    Ruminations is a current favorite. I’m a little out of it at the moment, but I also have a grand love of words. I try to fit them in a rhythm though; not a big fan of the hard consonant sound at the end of my words.

  2. superblackgirl says:

    you know that i love the word chagrin but can’t say it without giggling. i also like prosaic, but i’ve never heard anyone say it except meg ryan in you’ve got mail. and recently i saw this word, “trompe l’oeil”, but i have no idea in what context i will ever get to say it. and also, it’s probably impossible to say it and not sound like an asshole or alex trebek.

  3. Cheekie says:


    Now THIS is a word I wanna use in the near future. I just fell in fucking love.

    I’m not sure if there are any words that I never use, but there is definitely a word that OTHERS use that gets me randy: poignant. I’ve probably went on and on about this on Twitter/Gchat before but I LOVE when a man says it. Extra points if he has some “swagger” (yeah, that) in his voice. RAWR.

    I also love “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” even though I don’t get to use it as often as I’d like. I once wanted to name my puppy that as a child. Never got the puppy. -_-

  4. Sam Sharpe says:

    I feel you on the obfuscate and especially the FUCKERY. I also have a sweet spot in my heart for sidle. Here are a few other favourites:


    Really, I could go on and on…but people don’t need to know how much of a nerd I am.

    1. max says:

      Ah ethereal…what a great word. If I didn’t have it tatted on my back I would never get to say it.

      And don’t ever say nebulous to me in real life or you will get hurt.

    2. Cheekie says:

      YES! Ethereal is one of those words I love that sounds like what it means. Like supple, for instance.

  5. meka says:

    My favorite words that I never use are:


    My favorite words that I do use:

    Obtuse (as in “stop acting obtuse.”)

    Cruciferous (because I love my veggies)

    Schadenfreude (yes, I know it’s wrong)

  6. krystllyght says:

    Extrapolate, fabricate and obviate.
    Hmmm…..There’s a Dr. Suess rhyme in there somewhere.
    Also, trichotillomania. I read that word in the encyclopedia when I was a young teen and it just stuck with me.

    Anybody else watch that show Big Bang just to hear new words?

    1. max says:

      Oh you just reminded me of two more good ones: prevaricate and pulchritude. Both amazing words that there is no need to use ever.

  7. some of my favorite words are all scientific related:

    phophatase, phosphorylate, ubiquitination, glycogen synthase kinase beta 3, etc.

    yeah i’m a bit of a nerd. *shrug*

    1. max says:

      Okay I have no idea what ubiquitination is all about but that looks like a word that could make panties drop.

      1. lol its a post-translation modification that occurs to proteins. it can target a protein for degradation through E3 ligases.

        1. krystllyght says:

          *panties dropped*

          You didn’t use any big words but the way you strung them together…

  8. NicknotNikki says:

    Lol!! Max does love to say “obfuscate” all the damn time…

    My words…

    somnambulant- i once had a poster with this word on it, looked it up and have loved it ever since..

    verbose- from the same poster..
    the last two come from movies.. and I say them in a british accent..

    And encroach.. I say this A LOT!! mostly to my ex, when he forgets that we’re just friends now…

    I love words.. unfortunately, conversation with fools have my language stunted

  9. Liguanea says:



    Zygophyllaceous – This word dates back to the 4th grade. We opened up the Gleaner spelling bee word list and I was shocked they actually wanted 7 and 8 year old to spell this.

    1. max says:

      Ah effete. That is a very good word.

  10. Malik says:

    I will use all these words in a conversation with you Max.

    1. max says:

      That might help your cause.

  11. Nadisrad says:

    Words I don’t get to use often enough (or ever really):

    irate…I do use this one and enjoy it every time I say it.

  12. MsEsquire says:

    Off the top of my head: I love lackadaisical, succubus and cacophany.

  13. Artis says:






  14. Mrs.Brightside says:

    Randomly late but every time I hear this song it makes me think of you and this post.

    Amy Whine House- Me and Mr. Jones

    You’ve probably heard it but if not ther it is.

  15. Mrs.Brightside says:

    Winehouse* there*

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