When I was growing up I read a story that contained a line that has stayed with me my entire life:
Once is funny, twice is silly, three times is spanking.
I don’t remember the context in which I read this – nor is that particularly important to the topic at hand – but for some reason that line has stayed with me and I recently realized that it pretty much summarizes my policy on egregious behaviour in the people I interact with.
See the first time someone I fuck with does something questionable I will likely brush it off as them just being them. I like to give people rope and I think anyone can have a selfish day. So I’ll let it slide without much fuss. The second time I’m going to get annoyed and I’m probably going to call them out. I’ll gently or jokingly let them know that I see what they did and I don’t like it. The third time? After the third time is when I give up hope with them. I may still
sleep with see or speak to the person, but in my head I stop being invested in the relationship and inevitably allow it to die out.
I think that’s pretty normal. The three strikes you’re out policy probably exists in every group or relationship you’ll ever come across. But as I was mulling this over the other day trying to decide whether someone I care about has officially crossed the third line I realized that pretty much everything I do in life is governed by the power of three. It’s a random and possibly completely stupid thing to write about, but I thought I’d share with you a few of my rules of three:
3. It takes about 3 months of knowing me for my weirdness to come out and for me to stop being nervous around you.
3. I expect a man to make some type of move to see me after three conversations. If he doesn’t I wipe his throat.
3. I must have at least three dates with a man I like before I’ll even consider giving up the buns.
3. Three inches is the maximum length allowance for anal.
3. When I’m feeling a dude and trying to get his interest, I’ll only give him three small signs before I give up on him altogether.
3. When I’m having an argument with someone, I pause for three breaths before I go into a tirade. That’s their last chance to get out.
3. My favourite basketball call is the 3-second defensive violation that results in a non-unsportsmanlike technical foul.
3. I can only ever be interacting with 3 dudes at one time; one for talking, one to crush on, and one for chex.
3.I will give unheeded advice three times before I start just Kanye shrugging your stupid behaviour and bad life choices.
3. When I knock on someone’s door it is never more than three times. Three is all I need to ensure you heard me knocking you’re just moving slow to get to the door.
3. I have to have slept with a man at least three times for him to have a permanent place on my roster. Yes I girlcount – and what?
And because I’m about three seconds away from falling asleep with my head crashing into my laptop I’m gonna stop there . Because I could go at this all night. Instead I’ll put it to you dear readers – does the number 3 have any special significance in your life? What do you have to do in threes? Anyone else relying on a different number to carry then through? Be random with me in the comments.