I Wanna F*ck You


A few weeks ago I asked a random man if I could touch his hair. He had long, beautiful, well-tended to locks and the urge to feel them in my hands outweighed the sense of decorum that normally stops me from molesting complete strangers. He said yes and as I ran my hands through that epic hair, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear “I would do some things to you and this hair…” And then before I knew what I was doing I grabbed it. I held it in both hands and pulled it; a bit more roughly than he or I expected. And it felt fucking great.

I’ve always been the kind of woman who lets a man take charge. In all areas of life, but never more so than in the bedroom. I’ve always deferred to the man I was with and let him set the tone, choose the position, decide which kind of fuck it was going to be. I’ve always wanted to be clutched, turned, pushed and pulled. I’ve wanted him to pull my hair and hold my shoulders down. I’ve wanted his hands on my hips as I ride him. I’ve wanted his hands on my throat, my nipples between his teeth, great handfuls of my hair pulled by him. In short,  when I’ve wanted to fuck, I’ve wanted to be fucked. I’ve never wanted to be the one doing the fucking.

But ever since I pulled that random man’s hair the tables have turned. Ever since I heard the catch in his throat after I whispered in his ear, ever since I heard his sharp intake of breath when I grabbed and pulled I’ve had…urges.  The urge to seduce, to control, the urge to…well to hurt. I want to get rough with the person I’m fucking. I don’t want to be manhandled anymore, I want to be the one doing the handling. Instead of rubbing my hands slowly over his back as he long strokes me; skimming so gently he can barely feel it, I want to claw him; dig my nails in and scrape up and down. When I ride him, I don’t want to sit up and watch his face as I move up and down on him, I want to press my mouth to his neck and bite hard. And when I think about kissing her, I don’t think about gently pressing my lips to hers, I think about clutching her urgently, grabbing a handful of her hair and yanking it roughly until she cries out.

I don’t know what it is about inflicting pain on my partner that is suddenly so appealing. I don’t know if I’m drawn to the feeling of being in control, seduced by the reaction that an unexpected bit of roughness can elicit. I don’t know if it’s that fleeting rush of satisfaction that comes with the knowledge that you’ve hurt someone or if it’s the fact that taking control of the sex rather than deferring to the man feels wrong and unholy and therefore epically dirty. I don’t know what it is but I do know this: right now I want to be the one doing the fucking.

This feeling will probably pass; it’s not in my nature to want to run the show for all eternity but for now I want to go Spartan on the dick and take what the fuck I want and leave the rest. These days it’s not about whom I would give it to, it’s about whom I want to take it from. If I were to get with a girl tonight, I might start out tentatively caressing her like a schoolgirl; but soon enough I’m going to want to slap the shit out of her titty like he’s doing in that picture. I don’t want to be fucked by you, I want to fuck you. And I won’t be asking you to tell me my pussy is yours, I’ll be telling you your dick is mine.

But what about you my fellow dirty birds? Ladies how do you feel about taking control of the bone? Do you tend to be more timid like I usually am or do you like to invade the territory and plant the flag? Men how do you feel about women getting rough with you? It’s Friday – overshare with me in the comments.

And don’t forget to nominate me for the Black Weblog Awards. Just check out the instructions right here.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 26

  1. every now and then (only occasionally) i love when a woman takes control. tell me what you’re going to do to me. push me back. go to work. hop on. ride till your heart is content. scratch my back up. pain is pleasure.

    on most occasions though i’d rather set the tempo. most likely she’ll match it and a good time will be had by all.

  2. NC17 says:

    *wipes hands and cleans keyboard* Yes! That’s what it’s all about, I’ll fuck 7 days a week but I’ll be damned if a girl doesn’t Spartan up and take control of this dick at least one day out of the week. Be a lady during the day, chew with your mouth closed, get manicures, but when it’s time to fuck the etiquette ends. Here’s a hard dick– keep up with it.

  3. Drew-Shane says:

    Passive and meek can only get so far. It gets boring after a while. I was say I like a little feistiness in the bedroom. I think those sayings like, “A lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets” really apply to this situation. Some like it rough. I do! But then passion is good sometimes too.

  4. Adara says:

    New to the blog (I go where NC-17 tells me) and love it already!

    And I cannot agree with every last sentiment of yours more. I tend to allow myself to be manhandled by men who I expect to possess a certain amount of sexual skill but take charge when I’m less confident in the man’s ability to put it down.

    Using nails, moderate slapping, hair pulling, abusive language… fucking the bravado out of a man is a life-changing experience, no hyperbole. You’ll look at yourself in the mirror with a smirk forever after like, “I made someone’s son crawl to the edge of the bed away from me to deal with the after-shocks of his orgasm in private.”

    1. max says:

      “fucking the bravado out of a man is a life-changing experience, no hyperbole”

      I can tell you’re gonna fit in around here just fine. Welcome!

  5. Malik says:

    Ehhh, you fuck my hard, I fuck you harder. I do not submit. I will dominate and you’ll be lucky if I only put you on your knees.

    1. max says:

      Is it bad that I like everything about that comment?

      1. Malik says:

        Stapleton Sex

        Ghostdini has taught me well.

        And special shout out to Cam’ron for Cookies & Applejuice and the line

        But I love when hoes call me “The Cat’s Meow”
        Cause I run up in them and I make their cats meow

        1. max says:

          Stapleton Sex, Wildflower, and Gihad are among my most favourite songs ever. Malik you better watch yourself.

    2. the_girl says:

      (this made me come out of lurkdom) see if you and i were having a tyrst, i’d have to give as hard as you because i do so love a good competition and i cannot let anyone best me.

      1. Malik says:

        Competition? Sorry my love, I’m going to be like Phil Jackson and just dictate a dynasty in you while I dole out threepeats.

  6. Alovelydai says:

    I wonder if it’s seasonal b/c I’m feeling the same impulses.

  7. JGSF says:

    I’ve always bordered on Marvel’s own Wolverine in the bedroom. When I was much younger it tended to scare a few of the ‘girls’. Even scared them. But it’s funny that less than 2-3 years later those were the same ‘women’ blowin’ up my pager later telling me to what they needed.

    In my mid-20’s the women responded differently to my control. They seemed to relish it, even push back. And like you stated in your piece they started to push back. I felt like that young schoolgirl you mentioned. I was the one in shock now, the deer in headlights. But I enjoyed it, to an extent. After all, a caged beast will bite the shit out of you when given the chance.

    These days as a married man it’s harder to “let the freak out” as much. Life and repitition dull the senses to a point. But a freak is a freak and every now and then I get my Nacho Vidal (if you watch porn you’ll know who he is) on with wifey. Nothing like that racoon look to a girl after you slapped the shit outta her lemme tell you.

    Great post girl.

  8. Phidelity15 says:

    This is turning out to be a most surprising morning! Max…its nothing like being in control even if only for a little while. I do understand the need and the awesomeness that is being dominated by a man..but the total thrill of controlling everything, now that is an epic session! I suggest for every four f*ckings you give one good f*ck.

    Remember…variety is the spice of life!

  9. Starita34 says:


    And Malik’s comment? …um…iWant.

  10. RedLady821 says:

    I love controlling fucks…it’s good shyt and healthy for the relationship! Everyone now and then people should let out their inner animal.

  11. IrieDiva says:

    im still stuck on what u did to that man! like…did yo make this up? is it real? i thought i had some balls on me but yours are clearly bigger LMAO like i wanna know what he said!

    the most daring thing i ever did to a stranger was grab his dick…but then we were at a party, drunk and flirty…

    everytime i try to fuck a dude into submission he makes it known that he is twice my size…and i succumb. omg fun times.

    1. max says:

      No that is not made up. I really did that. You should have SEEN this hair though. Long dreads just make me lose all my judgement.

  12. I know a few chicks like this, and here goes oversharing on a Friday.

    (1) One chick in college used to talk you through f*cking her. It was way weird to. And she was loud. She ended up with the nickname, “Young Cum On Me” because my roommates never knew anything about her except that she said that a lot.

    (2) In pursuit of older women… man this was a rough patch of my life. Met this girl was sort of like a dominatrix. I ain’t know how to react to that, but she was really into life and culture. She said something about glass and knives one day and I had to leave the crib with a tee shirt and pumas on.

    (3) So in college after we had won the stepshow, we had this HUGE afterparty. Crazy … even had a hot tub at this party in the front yard, basement flooded cause we broke a water main, dudes down there with buckets, but all that to say at about 4AM the party had died down, one of my frat brothers is walking around with a camcorder with a big light on the top … at this point the afterparty was at that point #naysameanyaheard. Tell me why these two chicks…

    Actually nevermind. I’ll holla.

    1. the_girl says:

      re (3) um why’d you stop…:shifts uncomfortably in chair:

  13. Bumblebee_C says:

    I can so relate. Usually, I enjoy the man treating me as if I was the random whore and he was the undersexed John who is cheating on his wife cause she is too prissy. But it does tickle my fancy when I not only take control, but just become a completely different person. The most memorable experience included a parking lot, rain, and a lot of swear words. And while I don’t want to over share just yet, it was so empowering. Controlling the tempo, making him submit to all of my wants (at that time), making sure that there was a firm grip on his ears, and just fucking the life out of someone where he is pleading for mercy. I guess without sounding so jacked up, the sheer enjoyment of being “the man” just brings me joy. Kick ass post btw!

  14. Berriblk says:

    I have proclaimed my love of femdom quite a few times so I’ll just give this post Mistress Berri’s brand of approval. =)

  15. Kimmy says:

    I have been lurking for a few weeks. Interesting & Naughty to say the least. I do LOVE to fucked so hard that I forget where I am. A guy I used to mess with had my body spaz out long after I had came, I was up their looking like a damn Epiletic.
    The best way Iike to take control is when Im giving head. One of my exes was hollering like a woman when I deep throated his dick & balls. I was trying hard to concentrate but it was soooo funny. It was like he had Tourettes.

  16. “I leaned forward and whispered in his ear “I would do some things to you and this hair…” And then before I knew what I was doing I grabbed it. I held it in both hands and pulled it; a bit more roughly than he or I expected. And it felt fucking great.”

    Sometimes instinct overrules decorum. Maybe another side of you (the sadistic and dominant side) that was always there is coming to the fore front?

    Love the blog by the way.

  17. Yoles says:

    i’m trying to sneak my comment in late…
    i need/want/crave to be dominated by a man in the bed… my duty is to submit to a real man… the kicker is he has to make me submit… and it is not easy.. i pose a real challenge and believe me this sweet innocent face surprises many a man when i see he is not up to snuff and i then literally slap him in the face and make the statement “i came here to fuck what you came to do” if you can’t keep up i will own you, use you and discard you… but when i meet a man that can put me in my place/position oh the ecstasy!!!

  18. B.Smooth says:

    A woman has to take control more than once in a while. Woman are unique in my opinion because they have what I call “Innate sexual intelligence” which means that she knows unconsciously what to do to simultaneously put a man and herself in a series of mind-numbing physical and emotional ecstatic rushes putting time and space in a bulb of perfect bliss; and this only happens mostly when she is in control, and the dudes out there who witnessed/experienced that shit knows what i am talking about.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *