Here’s your daily reminder to please nominate me for a Black Weblog Award. Or two. Or four and we can top last year. Go here to get all the instructions and ish. And tell a friend to nominate me too! This week’s Any 10 on Tuesday features one of my favourite commenters Malik. Do I [...]
Here’s your daily reminder to please nominate me for a Black Weblog Award. Or two. Or four and we can top last year. Go here to get all the instructions and ish. And tell a friend to nominate me too!
This week’s Any 10 on Tuesday features one of my favourite commenters Malik. Do I say that about all my commenters? I think I do. But that’s because I love you all so much. But I have a special fondness for Malik, and after reading his answers to all 30 questions I’m sure you will too. Get to know him and make sure you check out his blog.
Ready? Let’s begin.
Describe yourself in three sentences or less.
I am a hyper-sexual, intellectually curious fanatic of the various oddities. I found a balance at being sardonic and adorable. After having realizing I am vaguely attractive, it was unfortunate to find out that I am more ‘cute’ than handsome and add that to the fact that my mom pointed out to me once that I have hips like a woman!
1. Is there something about your life or lifestyle that makes your perspective on dating/relationships unique?
Grew up a military brat, so I’ve always been around a large variety of cultures my entire life. I suppose that’s interesting/unique.
2. To what extent are you willing to adapt this lifestyle to that of your partner?
To a significant degree. Isn’t that the point of searching for long lasting relationships to find a person to compliment your being?
3. Thong or boyshorts?
Boyshorts. Every time I think of thongs, the first thing that comes to mind are clear heels. Not a good look.
4. Could you be in a relationship that is not monogamous? Why or why not?
Sort of. As long as it is always emotionally monogamous, I could deal with it. Having grown up in a military family, joining the Navy myself and having had a fair share of long distance relationships; I know that no amount of phone calls and letters can replace the missing physical intimacy and sometimes mundane routine that comes from someone being there on a daily basis.
5. True or false: it is rude for a man not to call the woman the day after he slams for the first time.
Of course it it rude, unless it was terrible.
6. If you were alone in your girlfriend’s house, would you snoop?
Does the refrigerator count?
7. What is your favorite sexual position?
Wherever I put you.
8. Name the most interesting place you have had sex.
In a tree. no, not under. In the tree. On the branches and shit. No it was not comfortable.
9. Picture your most memorable partner in your mind and share what made that person so memorable.
She trained me in the art of cunnilingus and made me a fiend for it. Often preferring it over sex depending on the woman’s legs…
10. Blow job or hand job?
Depends on the position that I’m getting it in. As long as my cum doesn’t roll down my dick for an extended period of time, I’m fine with either.
11. What is something you have always wanted to try, but haven’t yet?
Probably race play.
12. Best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
‘Whoever loves least, controls the relationship.’ I don’t personally abide by that, but I understand why people follow that philosophy.
13. What is your favorite thing to do to your partner? What is your favorite thing to have done to you?
To put her on my face. Sit on my face.
14. What is the most sensitive spot on your body?
Ears
15.
Lists and shit Max.
16. What is your most embarrassing sexual experience?
First time my then girlfriend asked for a facial and afterwards I was more interested in my deranged rant about getting cum on hands. Apparently discussing how disgusting cum is kills the mood.
17. What’s your fatal flaw in relationships?
My heart is loyal, the rest of me isn’t.
18. If you had a super power what would it be? Why?
Stretch any part of my body. Reed Richards is in the top 5 greatest Marvel superheroes. Oh yeah, penis joke and shit.
19. What turns you on?
Legs, soft/loud moans, and every time I read you and your readers say you’re clutching your pearls.
20. Which habit of your most annoys the people you date?
Rants and soliloquies.
21. What would the title of your autobiography be?
One Smart Nigger’s Adventures with Bl_ck B_st_rds (kudos for all 0 of you that get the references)
22. What’s the first thing you notice in a woman?
DIMPLES. I’d happily date a 4 or 3 if she had dimples.
23. How often do you believe it is normal to want sex?
Every time you’re naked.
24. If your friend was cheating, would you tell their partner?
Of course not. I would tell them to address the underlying problems that may be there if they are currently in a serious relationship though.
25. Name three famous women you’d put a hurting on if you had the chance.
Pam Grier, Béatrice Dalle (in the 80s), and Dorothy Dandridge (in the 40s)
26. What qualities do the people you date tend to have in common?
Mental illness/psychiatric wards
27. Do you know what a dirty sanchez is?
It’s been replaced in my mind with far dirtier and stranger thoughts.
28. Have you ever been caught masturbating?
Well thankfully this wasn’t done via Skype. To paraphrase Dave Attell: If you’re not being risky enough with your masturbation than you’re doing it wrong.
29. What are your must-have qualities in a partner?
Beautiful face, must be comfortable in their body, hobbies beyond shopping, enjoys talking (I prefer to listen), and maybe a slight personality disorder.
30. What are your dealbreakers?
People with zero intellectual pursuits; be it literature, comic books, anime, or architecture.
What say you guys? Weigh in, discuss, heckle and whatnot in the comments
And don’t forget to nominate me for the Black Weblog Awards. Just check out the instructions right here.
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No heckling please.
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This man is a man who is well-traveled. Kudos.
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Thank you Sir Menelaus.
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“In a tree. no, not under. In the tree. On the branches and shit. No it was not comfortable”
I should try this.
What’s “race play”, break it down please?
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Race play is when you’re with someone of an opposite race and each party role plays by taking usually stereotypical roles before and while they engage in sex. So basically imagine if the movie Crash was like a porno and everyone started breaking out and having sex every time there was an argument. Throw in some racial epithets during, and there you have race play.
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Yo, that Crash analogy is absolutely priceless. Imagining the various scenes is hilarious. Like, imagine when the cops pulled over Terrence Howard and Thandie Newton… that would have turned into an 4 on 1 outdoor gangbang…
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Oh!!!! Nice. I absolutely love this movie. Good you used it as a reference.
Good post. Living in your head won’t be bad at all.
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you did good Malik…
What’s it with guys and dimples?
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I enjoyed this Any10. If homey had a blog, I’d read it.
And I agree with the “whoever loves least…” quote. It’s absolutely in line with, not only my perception of love, but also my ideologies around how to build successful long lasting relationships.
Great Job.
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There is a blog link waaaaaay up top.
Your welcome
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I think he does has a blog bro
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*in my countriest voice* Well I do declare… the answer to number 9 was obviously contrived to make me clutch my pearls b/c that and followed up w/ number 13 has me doing exactly that.
Very good read Malik… and the fact that you have an issue w/ c*m is absolutely fantastic. Lol.
Btw, I’m glad you could admit to wanting a woman w/ a slight personality disorder. I think all men like a bit of crazy, some are just scared to admit it.
Bravo.
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This guy is funny.
The book reference….are you gonna tell us what it is? I have an idea…but I’m not sure
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Both are references to MF DOOM (all capital letters no trick spelling). First part is after a track on Take Me to Your Leader which is a concept album from the point of view of a King Geedorah, a space monster, that lands on Earth and observes how we interact with one another. The second part is a reference to when he was in the group KMD and they attempted to release their second album Black Bastards. It was released until about a decade later on by a different label though because the cover was off a lynched sambo.
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This was a really interesting 10 for 10! His response for #5 and 6 got an actual LOL outta me. But, where is the question for #15 did I miss something?
Btw, as a woman that has dimples (Reecie I need you to back me up on this)…it would be VERY hard to be a “3″ or “4″..#yeahIsaidit
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you know I got your back on this
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Max has no idea how to list things in numerical order, constantly omitting numbers or listing the same one 2 or 3 times.
And to add on to #5 gotta stay fed because I’m ‘In the city where the skinny niggas die’ (c) Tupac Shakur.
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Grrrr to both of you women with dimples… when i was young i used to bite the inside of my cheeks to try to make them so i would be just like my daddy and paternal grandmother. it didn’t work but they still are my weakness as well…
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7, 9, 13
Lawd have mercy
23
I totally agree
How does the tree work?
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You could either do it the safe way which would be to climb up and straddle each on the thickest branch close to the trunk of the tree or if you utter disregard to the damage that may occur to your genitals, you could try to stretch apart and balance on a couple branches while the guy slides inside you. The latter has a far greater chance of falling and getting splinters.
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O_O two questions,
1. Which did you choose?
2. Am I really supposed to believe that wasn’t mad uncomfortable?
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The former and it WAS uncomfortable. It was starting to rain though and I’m persnickety so I didn’t want to be on the wet grass (I hate the smell and feel of it).
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Lol, way to improvise
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good read! I laughed out loud at #8. and good to see dimples get a shoutout
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9 & 13… ohhh… boi stop!
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I like (17)
Agree with 26
And soooo feel 29
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I enjoyed this Any 10. Malik, you are too much. You had me laughing at the fact that you like crazy women.
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I really enjoyed this Any10, one of the best I’ve read in a minute! I loved this line tho – “Beautiful face, must be comfortable in their body, hobbies beyond shopping, enjoys talking (I prefer to listen), and maybe a slight personality disorder.” Everyone loves a little crazy to call their own! LOL
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i loved all your answers Malik… but why so scared of the cum sir??
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Not that big on sticky things all over my hands. It’s partly the reason I have beef with Winnie the Pooh.
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What is it with men and dimples? I have them (and often forget I do) but I always wonder why people like them so much
Good post
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They accent the face.
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I have a dimple and I bet 99% of the people who have ever met me have never noticed it.
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I like to imagine you have dimples on your ass. Rather, I like to imagine your ass.
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It’s funny I was gonna request max get malik on the next any10. I enjoyed the read bro good to hear some other DOOM fans out there.
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In. Love.
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Aww thanks Simmi!
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my mom pointed out to me once that I have hips like a woman!
THIS. IM CRACKING DA HAYLE UP.
LMAO…….
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