Any 10 on Tuesday with @RedLady821
I always say this, but I'm super excited about this week's Any 10 on Tuesday because we have one of my very favourite e-people on deck. If you haven't yet encountered the indomitable Red Lady, you're failing at life. Her funny, wise, and most importantly honest comments on this and other blogs have earned her "big sister in my head" status and her blog is hands down the internet's best-kept secret.
I could continue to gush for a lot longer but let’s get to it.
Describe yourself in three sentences or less.
I would describe myself as a FORMER hopeless romantic, an aspiring scholar and an eternal optimist. I am someone who finds inner peace through her children and grounds herself through the reality of marriage. I have learned to think my way out of any situation and to stop gambling with loaded dice.
1.Is there something about your life or lifestyle that makes your perspective on dating/relationships unique?
My perspective on relationships is unique because I have learned to adapt within a relationship for over 26 years and can still look at my husband and say that I love him with all my heart. That’s no easy feat, cause sometimes he’s on my last nerve.
3. Thong or boyshorts?
Boyshorts. I never really was cool with things going up my butt.
5. True or false: it is rude for a man not to call the woman the day after he slams for the first time.
I think it’s rude as hell. You cannot spend all of that time mixing bodily fluids with me and then just not speak to me afterward. Forget the next day, how about a few hours later? I think that men not calling after they’ve hit for the first time is the first stage in what makes women crazy, but there’s no law that says that woman can’t pick up the phone either. Now if he didn’t call me and I called him and he refused to take my calls or hit the f* you button, I would consider that an act of war. You don’t want to see me unleash my crazy…oh you ain’t know?
6. If you were alone in your boy/girlfriend’s house, would you snoop?
Nah, people are going to do what people are going to do regardless of the situation, your digging and snooping isn’t going to fix anything. If I bust you, are you going to stop? I don’t think so. Also, if I have to dig through your crap just to feel secure I don’t need to be around you anyway.
7. What is your favorite sexual position?
Doggie style. I love backing my ass up and paying homage to the dick in that manner. Plus it’s a good way to make my man come because he loves the sight of my ass in motion. TMI? Oh well.
10. Blow job or hand job?
Blow job every time. I love the surge that I get from putting the peen in my mouth and controlling whether or not my man is going to explode. It’s worth it for the power that I can exude for a short period of time. Hand jobs are boring, how many women look away during a hand job and focus in on the TV? I know I do. Hand job = stacking the dishwasher.
11. What is something you have always wanted to try, but haven’t yet?
I’ve always wanted to try living on my own. I went straight from living with my family to getting an apartment with my husband. I feel as though I’ve missed out on an important part of life and an important developmental stage. I’ve always wanted to be in my own little apartment burning candles and listening to music. I picture myself doing it sometimes, I even considered getting an apartment when I joined the PhD program so that “Mommy could concentrate”. I also realize that’s a total fantasy because after about a week I would miss my family so much that I would abandon the entire experiment and run back home. At this point is it what it is.
12. Best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
Never force a man to do something he doesn’t want to do. He will resent you for it and it will ruin your relationship.
18. If you had a super power what would it be? Why?
I would have the power to clone myself. I would send one of me to work, another of me to class, another of me to my sons basketball games, and another of me to run the house. The real me would be laid up watching cable or sleeping. Awesome super power.
19. What turns you on?
A black man who is confident, intelligent, not afraid to make moves and become financially successful. Damn that’s sexy. A really good vocabulary is also a turn on as is being well educated in history and current events. That’s a sexy ass swag right there.
21. What would the title of your autobiography be?
Crazy bitch stops the drama.
23. How often do you believe it is normal to want sex?
Whenever you get the urge it’s normal. There’s no law that says that your partner has to have the urge whenever you do, so that’s what masturbation is for. If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em like Harpo. Life goes on.
24. If your friend was cheating, would you tell their partner?
Nope, the partner will find out eventually…or not, but it won’t be on my end. I don’t have time to dig all up in people’s business like that anyway. I have a friend going through that right now, she is always calling the house trying to pump me for information because her husband is really good friends with my husband. Of course I know what’s going on, wait til she finds out he made a baby with another woman too. Would I tell her? Hell no, it’s not my story to tell, plus her man talks to my man in confidence. Far be it for me to breach that contract…now just me and the entire blog world knows. Luckily for me, I know she doesn’t read blogs, but neither does her man or my husband.
27. Do you know what a dirty sanchez is?
Yes, I only found out a few months ago. Some people are really nasty.
29. What are your must-have qualities in a partner?
I need a partner that makes me laugh and has a high level of intelligence. I’ve got that. Easy going is key. I don’t have that. The one thing I don’t like about my partner is that he is a hot head and flies off the handle over little things. If he can’t control the big things in life he will micro manage the little things. I know he just does that because he is very intense (read that **crazy**), but if I ever had a choose a new partner, EASY GOING would be the most important thing. I used to have a Siamese cat that was high strung. When my husband got laid off from his Wall Street job, he verbally abused the cat. The cat didn’t know why my husband was suddenly at home every day throwing things at him and telling him to “look busy”, or “get a job” or “look like you’re trying to CATCH something!” If the cat was asleep he would wake him up to yell at him. The cat became neurotic and started to pace, he also started to spray inside of the house because he wanted to be the alpha male and my husband knew HE was the alpha male, it wasn’t a good combination. The cat had to go on anti-depressants and eventually had a stroke and died. My husband said “F* that cat”. I said “You killed my cat!” He said, “That cat killed himself”. Mmmmm….see what I mean?
30. What are your dealbreakers?
Well obviously not dead cats, but I would have to say that a deabreaker for me would be long term unemployment to the point where my lifestyle is affected. Marriage is a business agreement, so let’s keep the business up and running. I know you’re wondering, what about cheating? That’s not a dealbreaker for me, but then again, I purposely didn’t marry that type of man, so I can’t say whether or not it would be. My father was a serial cheater, so I knew I wouldn’t marry that type of man. Marriage has a lot of layers to it and I really can’t say that would be THE dealbreaker for me. I’d be more likely to leave if the collection agencies kept calling and my cable got cut off. Yep, that’s a deal breaker. If I can’t go food shopping without dragging in a bag of coupons and checking for an EBT card then that’s a dealbreaker. Call me materialistic but it is what it is. I’m the type of woman who will wait tables to get the bills paid, I expect the same commitment from my partner, therefore, unequal level of commitment = dealbreaker.
If you don’t love her after reading this, get off my blog. No strikethrough. Now you know the deal – show her some love in the comments.