Those of you who know me outside of my blog know that I can be a bit of a headcase. I’m extremely high strung, alternately too hard and too easy on myself, and have far less common sense than anyone my age should have. To quote my girl MsEsquire, I am a mess sometimes. And [...]
Those of you who know me outside of my blog know that I can be a bit of a headcase. I’m extremely high strung, alternately too hard and too easy on myself, and have far less common sense than anyone my age should have. To quote my girl MsEsquire, I am a mess sometimes. And like any good mess, I function best when I have a team in place to keep me in line. More than just friends, these people are coaches, instructors, judges, havens, and cheering squads, and each of them has a very special role in making sure I stay winning at the game of Max. These are the friends I need in my life to keep my sanity.
So without further ado because it’s nearly midnight and I need to get to bed, I present to you, my starting lineup:
1. The media nerd
This might just be an advertising thing, but I need a friend in my life who works in my industry and understands the craziness that media life entails. No matter how well I explain things to my friends with normal jobs, you can’t really know my life until you’ve been stuck at work until 2 am with a Dorito on your head yelling things like “the media is the message!” to prepare for a presentation at 9am the next day. In Mississauga. For which you cannot wear jeans. In order to really function at an optimal level, I need a friend who finds commercials more interesting than programming, who looked askance at the screen yesterday when they read that WPP bought a stake in Vice Magazine, and whose inbox is also filled with old Advertising Age newsletters because they’re too interesting to archive. More than any other member of my lineup, the media friend is the one who keeps me sane. Especially if they work on my floor and have an office with a door I can close so I can bitch my head off in between meetings.
2. The unabashedly unobjective friend
I don’t particularly love having smoke blown up my ass, but I definitely need a friend in my life who sees me through rose-coloured glasses. I am my own worst critic and can work myself into a frenzy of self-recrimination faster than you can say “green guava” if I’m not careful. But when I have a friend in my life who thinks I’m awesome all the time, no matter what, I can occasionally relax and appreciate my greatness for the wondrous thing it truly is. This of course would lead to a swollen head of epic proportions if I didn’t have at all times this next friend.
5. The friend who will always be better than me
Does everyone have a friend like this in their lives? You so need one. The friend who can’t relate to your whining about writer’s block because they never get it. The friend who has successfully battled the Libra curse of indecision. The one who can hear what I’m saying but can move past navel-gazing toward making sense. The friend who always always always wins arguments because they are always always always right. This friend makes me feel like shit at least 87% of the time, but it’s the friend who – more than any other member of the lineup – makes me want to be better. Because he will be. All the fucking time.
6. The nasty friend
This should surprise no one, but in order for me to feel like I’m really being heard, I need a member of my squad who wants to hear every dirty detail. Squeamish or prudish people have their places in my life, but if I don’t have at least one person in my life to whom I can freely use words like cock and pussy in every conversation, I am losing at life. I need that friend who will boldly go before me and navigate murky waters like ATM and sex clubs and then report back to me in exquisite detail exactly what it was like. It makes me feel like I have a safe place to tell my secrets and a navigation plan for my journey to sexual exploration. And plus when I don’t have someone in my life to whom I can tell my sex stories in every gory detail, I have a tendency to waaaay overshare on this blog. And that scares people.
3. The emotionally stunted friend
It makes me happy in life when I feel like I’m helping someone. And there’s no one I’d rather help than a friend who is sabotaging herself and wants to learn how to stop. Maybe it’s wrong to be pleased by the fact that I will always be doing better than this friend, but it’s reassuring to have someone in your squad who always needs your help. Makes me feel like I’m making a contribution to society.
And there you have it. The 5 (was that 5? I don’t even know. But I’m sure Streetz will be around soon enough to check my math) people I need in my life to keep me functioning at peak performance. Who’s in your starting five? Share with me in the comments.
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You got 5 in there even if the numbering was off, but I am so with you on this even if my line-up is a bit different.
1. The Faith-full friend – not just loyal. I’m talking about someone who encourages me in my walk with the Man Upstairs. Even though I’m not a member of any church, I sometimes miss the feeling I used to get when attending in my youth.
2. The Ride/Die – ya, know the one who will go with me when I get adventurous and want to go sky-diving. (I’m not going sky-diving, IJS, if I did want to go)
3. The Genius – smarter than me, challenges me, makes me better….
I probably have more but it’s late, so I’m gonna go meet Bed and Sleep right now.
The Faith-full friend….YES! Gotta have someone who encourages me to seek God when I sometimes forget about Him. Someone who makes sure that I don’t backslide.
I don’t have alot of women friends…I have 4 friends who all entered my life at different times..but, I know if I call or need them they will be there in a hearbeat.
My jr/highschool friend..we grew up together, I was in her wedding…she knows me the longest..but, maybe, not the best…but, she is cherished becasue we have history and longevity..and she is very loyal and trusted.
My other friend I met at college…we traveled together, slutted around together and partied together…she knows my fun/wild side….she is probably the one I am most myself with.
The other friend I met at work….we also partied together….we had some wild times…I know all of her secrets..and she’s knows mines…we don’t talk often..but, when we do..it’s like we just talked the other day……with her I am certain I can tell her anything and I will not be judged…she’s very frank and real.
There is a more recent addition to my friendship roster…we have been friends for about 3 yrs..met her during the time I was going thru my divorce…..she met me at my worst…I was a hot mess, depressed..and she came along like a ray of light…she lifted me out of my doldrums… she lives in the same city..my other friends don’t…so she knows me as I am today…and saw me at my absolute worst….we talk frequently but she is the one that rubs me the wrong way more than any other…coud it be proximity? She thinks she knows me…but, she doesn’t know my secrets……but, she was there when nobody else was…..for that I will always cherish her…
So, that is my starting four!
Almost none of the people in my starting lineup are women, now that I think about it.
Just 5 different beautiful women as I tend to drift in and out of people’s lives.
I assumed you meant drift in and out of other “things” as well. That would only make sense.
Well it certainly would be with ugly women good sir.
I have a few:
1. The Stroker
I mean…I’m a man. I need my ego stroked. If she wants to go along and take care of the other thing, she can do that too. But more than likely, it’s the friend that calms me down or offers some encouraging words when I’m doubting myself.
2. The Mirror
This could actually be a male or female. Sometimes I just like to bounce ideas or situations off someone and have them tell me where I’m f*cking up in the game or if I’m doing the right thing.
3. The Extra Extrovert
This person basically pulls me out of the house when I’m content to just stay on my couch and do nothing. Even though I’ll kick and resist, I will usually end up going and things will be for the better as a result.
4. The Grocery Bagger/The Bait
Gotta have that friend who I can throw out on a corner or in middle of the club/venue and women flock to him. I have no problem scooping up the residuals…for the most part.
That’s all I got for now.
Oh the mirror. That’s a good one. We all need a mirror in our lives.
Good list.
Def agreed with #1-3. Someone who’s in my field and understands what it feels to do research, someone who can make me feel like a million bucks even when I feel like tree fitty, and someone who will always make me feel like I’m doing nothing with my life.
My additions would be:
4) The Optimist – This person is just happy about everything. I don’t trust everyone who’s always happy. Like clowns. F*ck those guys. But I gotta have someone who’s always saying positive things to balance out my need to making insulting jokes about everyone I know.
5) The Outsider – I need that person who’s outside my normal circle of influence who I can talk to about things that happen within my circle. They’re like your own personal diary, but they talk back.
Yes on the optimist! I have officially labeled MsEsquire my optimist. She is a ray of positivity that I need in my life and I appreciate that. Now if only I could get her to move to Seattle.
LOL she was definitely one of the people I was thinking about when I wrote that.
Great List
My additions would be:
I have The Straight Talker-he gives it to me straight no chaser. Calls me out on all my bs and doesnt care about if he hurts my feelings or not.
Wanna Be Like You- This friend keeps me on my toes. Not because she stays on my case but because she makes me want to keep doing better because she is catching up. I went I away to college, a semester later she joined me. I majored in mass communications, she majored in mass communications. I got a new car, she got a new car. I make it a point to keep it moving because I know sooner or later she will follow.
Everything Friend-He is actually the straight talker too but he is the only friend that I tell ALL my dirt to. He knows it all and will all the details. If I go missing, he know with who. If I have the walk of shame, he knows from where I’m walking. HE KNOWS IT ALL.
great post. based of the title i thought this post was going to go in a different direction. here’s my starting five:
1. my (female) best friend (The Everything): i can go to her for advice about anything. she give me perspective. i’ve known her since i was 17. we went to undergrad together (same exact schedule every semester) and we are in the same lab in grad school. we’ve seen each other through relationships, a marriage and a divorce. i know a lot about her and she knows a lot about me.
2. my (male) best friend (The Mirror): The we have a lot in common. we’re classmates and frat brothers. he understands the #PhDStruggle. his family takes care of me whenever i go to new orleans and mine whenever he comes to DC.
3. PC#1 (partner in crime) (The Sounding Board): she is a great friend. i can go to her for relationship advice and she always keeps it 100. i do the same with her. she’s never been one to bite her tongue either. she’ll let me know in heartbeat if i’m wrong.
4. PC#2 (The Silent Savior): another good friend. we have more of a non verbal relationship. whenever i need her i know she’ll be there for me and vice versa.
yeah i don’t really have a fifth.
You don’t even need a fifth. You’ve got a great squad there.
My Starting 5:
1) Ignorant J – Sometimes, you gotta take your shirt off and stand on the couch with some Rose
2) Destructive J – Sometimes, you gotta take your shirt off and break some glass
3) Intellectual J – People have a tendency to think i’m stupid or ignorant
4) Quiet J – Cause if I say something, it’s gon’ be bad
5) Kumbaye J – Somebody needs to say, “I think everyone needs to chill the f*ck out.”
The Angel & The Demon
I have a pronounced villainous streak that needs to be both checked and indulged. The Angel lets me know when The Dash Mane is going to far, while The Demon makes sure I never leave a scene regretting not raising the stakes.
The Minion
Every great man needs a Jerome or Igor in their life.
The Collaborator
I need someone who is always down to see a project through, whether it’s installing an electric hot water heater with no experience dealing with electricity, or recording a jazz album after only playing the trumpet for 3 months.
Am i the only one wondering which one of those roles i fulfill for my friends? At times, to different folk, (going by Max’s list and ‘unique’ numbering system) i’ve been 1, 2, 6 and 3. 6 times out of 10, tho – i’m “the Nasty Friend”. In the words of the immortal philospher, Popeyeus de Spinacchi “I yam what i yam” (and yes, that’s a double entendre for the West Indian massive)