Beauty and the Beast – Strip clubs vs. Burlesque Shows


One last guest post for you guys while I recover from my epic weekend in DC. Today we have Nubian Empress of Kinetic Culture extolling the virtues of burlesque shows. Make sure you give her a warm welcome in the comments.

[dropcap]F[/dropcap]uck strip clubs. You need to go to a burlesque. #Changeyourlife

The human form is nothing short of beautiful, which is why it’s not surprising that a lot of men (and women) like “admire” the bodacious bodies of other people. For me though, there is a difference between admiration and depravity, which is the reason I prefer burlesque shows to skrip clubs.

What is a burlesque?

It’s basically a strip tease that involves elaborate costumes, makeup, and stunts. Most of the performer’s body is exposed, with the exception of the naughty bits (which are adorned with tassels or other skimpy coverings). Josephine Baker was getting it popping on the burlesque circuit long before Travis Porter was imploring tricks to “make it rain.” Burlesque is Gallant to the strip club’s Goofus, the cooler, sexier, more polished version of everything a strip club wishes it could be. Basically burlesques defecate on shake shows and use the stray dollar bills as toilet tissue.

Why is it so much better to me than the skrip club?

Well, besides the fact burlesques don’t have the SCOO*  and smells like roses and sunshine, there more than enough reasons. First of all, the women in skrip clubs seem to have little to no agency.  Given better circumstances, the woman p-popping on a hand stand would not be a pole politician. Second of all, skrippers always seem to be in various states of bustedness. A bullet hole here, a neck tatt there, a baby breaching the birth canal when mama toots that thang up for customers. Really? Excuse me miss, you need to be in a group home. Most times these women are fighting to survive, and bankrolling their exploitation kind of turns my stomach.

Vic De Ville (named changed to protect the naughty) a fellow comrade in debauchery, and is a fan of the booty clubs.  “It’s a good place to hang out and shoot the shit with friends. male and female,” he says. Vic enjoys the aggressive nature of the environment, and likes that they are raunchy. “They are like a well appointed hideaway…like a clubhouse for adults.” It’s probably because he’s a carnivore, and needs substantially less romance to feed the beast within; what he needs meat.

A burlesque is…something to behold. There’s a spirit of showmanship that permeates the atmosphere at one of these shows that you just don’t get at Majic City. Like, for example, the costumes. The burlesque performers I’ve seen all had exquisitely intricate costumes that are breathtaking for their sheer artistic merit. Ostrich feather fans, lacy getups, feather boas, jaw dropping make-up, you name it, and these girls have it. Fantasy is an essential element to creating an alluring aura and these girls do their damndest to provide it.

Each performance is a miniature talent show; I’ve seen swords swallowed, knives juggled, and torches blown at a burlesque show. That, my friends, is real artistry.  The performers seem to relish the opportunity to provide an experience that is seductive and stimulating and engaging, and you can actually learn tips that you can take home to try on your lover.  Pure entertainment. You know what you can learn at a strip club? How to train your poonani to pull on a cigarette, that’s what. Uncool.

Burlesques are just much more classy, and far less assy, than their strip club counterparts. It just seems to that women in burlesques are more about the craft of luring and seducing the audience, while strippers are just trying to make it through the next song so she can go on her smoke break.

*Strip Club Odd Odor, as coined by the VerySmartBrothas.

So what do you guys think? Do you prefer the class of the burlesque show to the ass of the strip club? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 21

  1. Malik says:

    Burlesque is a far more interesting show to see, and it’s actually worth the price of admission. The only desire for me to ever go to a strip club is to see a friend perform and it makes more sense to order scotch there.

  2. Danielle says:

    Although I haven’t been to a burlesque show *makes note to see on this year* from what it sounds like I can loosely compare the to the male strip shows I’ve been to in the past. To me watching the male dancers is more of a show than just watching penis poppin’. It doesn’t hypnotize me the way I’ve seen men be deer in the headlighted at the sight of titties. lol

    1. Starita34 says:

      Exactly, good correlation and precisely why I’d prefer the dirty ass strip club, I’m not here for art and culture and interpretive dance, I wanna see some inappropriate ish go down…preferably on me

      1. Danielle says:

        I love it! There are times a person needs both. Sometimes I want your d*ick on my shoulder #slickricktheruler and sometimes I want to see you do a pirouette to woman’s work while I throw my crumpled up dollar you. lol

  3. maybe i need to check out a burlesque. i’ve been to a total of 2 strip clubs in my life (not including bachelor parties) and i didn’t have an ounce of fun either time.

    1. Starita34 says:

      *side eye* @ “not including bachelor parties” that’s like, “I’ve only been drunk once (not including when I consumed liquor)”

    2. René says:

      You should try Mardi Gras whenever you’re in ATL. You’ll have a different opinion about stripclubs.

  4. Starita34 says:

    Your run down of skrippers though? I’ma go ahead and just lay in this coffin til ya’ll come close it up…

    Thing is, where the hell can I find a Burlesque show? I can tell you that you’ve convinced me to look for one though, in my head I was like, “but what if I like it kinda grimy and nasty?”, but you totally convinced me when you said that the strippers don’t really wanna be there, that’s so true and one of my least favorite thing about going to the Titty Ranch – once I start thinking about what went wrong in Sparkle’s life, I lose my lady wood…#womps

  5. Reecie says:

    I have never been but I do know a burlesque dancer. I’ve been meaning to check them out. I think it would be something I would enjoy. I’ve seen Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil and I think it may be in the same family.

    1. Kema says:

      You are in Richmond, right? If you find one close by let me know! 🙂

      1. Reecie says:

        I’m from Richmond but I live in the DC area now. I will still let ya know what I find out.

        1. fixedwater says:

          Didn’t know this, did we really meet? I found one with pretty good reviews.

        2. wait Reecie you from the eight oh foh?????

          West End/Short Pump what what. lol.

          1. Reecie says:

            southside representer right here. lol

  6. privatedancer says:

    I love both! But I must say the strip clubs or skrip clubs and strippers that she is talking about in this post only respresents SOME places not all. I have been to strip clubs where EVERY girl looked like she belonged in playboy and the stage shows were truly SHOWS not just some salty girl walking around the pole. I guess it depends on what type of club you go to and what neighborhood…Burlesque is cool tho….#teamstripclub

    1. I’ll try to find a classy strip joint…I just haven’t found one yet. Like Star said, sometimes you want nitty gritty, but I like the theatrics of burlesques. It’s really interesting and you get lots of ideas…

  7. sanen85 says:

    “a baby breaching the birth canal when mama toots that thang up for customers.”


  8. fixedwater says:

    I’m convinced and I’ve already found one to try out. Thanks for this.

  9. MsEsquire77 says:

    I’ve never seen burlesque live but I’d love to. I’ve seen clips of Dita Von Teese and others performing and I really like the glamour and the sexiness.

    Sidebar: “a baby breaching the birth canal when mama toots that thang up for customers.” <—This almost killed me!!! #SomeonePleaseCall911

  10. Eve says:

    Your article prefclety shows what I needed to know, thanks!

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