Some Things Men Will Never Admit About Themselves

head-in-the-sand

When you’re in need of advice, your best bet is to ask a man. Men are more logical, less emotionally-invested, and therefore better able to be objective about a situation. They’re also less inclined to sugarcoat things to spare your feelings and better able to tell you straight up when you’re being an idiot. So in general, when I have a difficult decision to make, I’m looking for a man to tell me what to do.

The one exception to this is asking a man for advice about men. Because although the same principles apply, there are certain man-truths that men don’t take into consideration when doling out advice, and that’s because they refuse to admit that said man-truths exist. They know it, and they might point them out when they manifest in other men, but they will never admit them to be true about themselves. So if the problem you’re seeking advice on is in any way related to any of these man minefields, the advice you are gonna get will be flawed.

So what are those man-truths? Read on.

That “checking in to see how you’re doing” is really just a euphemism for “I want to make sure you’re still feeling me”

As any woman who has ever had a disappearing man on her hands can attest, sooner or later every snake comes slithering out of his hole. And when he emerges with a “hey I just wanted to see how you’re doing” email, text, or phone call, he’s less concerned with what is going on with your life and more concerned about whether you’re still strung out on him. The minute (I mean the MINUTE) you answer that message, about 78.6% percentage of his interest in you skeets right out the window. If you call him on it though he will insist to the death that it was nothing but an altruistic inquiry into your well-being. But we know better, don’t we ladies?

That it’s less fun for everyone when a woman makes the first move

Sooner or later most women learn that making the first move on a man really just amounts to making more trouble for yourself. Because men – being the hunters that they are – easily become bored by anything that is too readily accessible, if you show your cards to them up front it’s a bit difficult for them to drum up the enthusiasm necessary to court you. Instead they put you on the back burner like the sure thing you’ve shown them you are and put their efforts in to pursuing the woman who is keeping her cards close to her vest. Most women know this. But a man will never ever in his life admit that a woman who is paying him too much attention is boring.

That sometimes they really did drive that woman crazy

Some women are just born crazy. Some women have absolutely no crazy in them no matter what. But the vast majority of women have a little bit of crazy in them that could very well stay buried deep inside her, if only men weren’t so maddening. But men want to disappear into the clear blue sky, slam a girl and never call her again, unilaterally shut down conversations and answer every question with ok and then act surprised when women lose their minds.  Any reasonable person can see that the woman would have stayed on the right side of sanity if only he had behaved better, but a man will swear up and down that the woman just went batsh!t through no fault of his own.

That women are sometimes justified in faking orgasms

First of all, it’s ridiculously difficult to get a man to admit to the possibility that a woman has ever faked an orgasm with him, but in the immortal words of Sally Albright, “all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math”. But even if you can get a man to admit that in theory it’s possible that a woman has faked an orgasm, he will never admit to the possibility that she may have been justified in doing so. Now I’m not an advocate of faking <span style=”text-decoration: line-through;”>anymore</span> but I will say that moretimes a woman’s orgasm has very little to do with the man she’s thronxing or what he’s doing and sometimes staging a little performance to get the show on the road saves everyone a whole lot of time, angst, and chafing. A man will never admit that this is an acceptable course of action, even if the woman in question is some sket he cares nothing about and he’s already got his nut anyway.

So what say you men? Any of you willing to admit to any of these man-truths?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 35

  1. i can admit the first 3 with no problem. wanting to see if you’re still feeling me? sure. everyone does that. women making the first move? well at times it can be fun depending on the woman. we drove that woman crazy? whatever helps you sleep better at night.

    what i can’t get with is faking orgasms. if you’re tired, chaffing (get some lube if it’s that serious) or anything else why not just say you need a break or something? finish up at a later time? if a man faked with you i’m pretty sure you’d be more than upset.

    1. Yoles says:

      sometimes you fake just because you know telling him um lets pick this up at another time just isn’t going to go over well. sometimes you fake because you KNOW its not going to happen during this occurrence and you want him to feel like you had a great time (this is done because it seems that no matter how many times we tell men that we can have a great time and not die a little death, men can’t seem to wrap their minds around this fact). there are numerous reasons why it may be faked and most of them are just to make things go smooth… don’t worry about it, i find that this is a time when women can say that men are just over thinking things…

      1. “sometimes you fake because you KNOW its not going to happen during this occurrence and you want him to feel like you had a great time..”

        i don’t know about that one. i’m comfortable in the fact that a woman may not always orgasm with me. as a matter of fact i compare sex to a roller coaster. that tall drop being the orgasm. but take that big drop out of the equation you still have fun on the roller coaster. i mean its nothing like that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach but just that alone doesn’t make the ride. the little ups and downs are also nice sometimes too.

    2. QueenT says:

      Sometimes as much as we love and desire you…we want to go to sleep..we don’t want to pick this up at another time…we want to try again tomorrow…I know for me if I have alot on my mind…I am not going to climax..but, I can enjoy s*x without a climax…but, men don’t seem to realize that it’s not that easy to climax…its like a “perfect storm” of things have to occur before I can achieve it…and alot of it has nothing to do with the guy….and sometimes it does…it’s just tricky sometimes..the easiest thing is to fake it.

      1. i’d rather a woman say lets do this again tomorrow than for her to fake it. i have feelings but i promise they won’t be hurt over something like that. if you can’t be honest about something like pleasure then what can you be honest about? and forget all that noise about sparing someone’s feelings because the second a man says he lied to protect a woman’s feelings y’all call b.s.

  2. Adonis says:

    Give me a year and I will get back to you… I will say, I don’t appreciate unattractive women fawning all over me… That is all…

    I like proactive women that is my story and I am sticking with it

  3. Malik says:

    I would only accept the 4th one as true if we can get a written document signed by women, if not all collective than a sheet we can print out at any given moment that you sign a waiver complaining about men and bad sex for a 6 month period after every faked orgasm and time accumulates each time there is another faked one.

    I think that’s a fair agreement.

  4. QueenT says:

    You nailed this post Max!

    I have nothing to add….I would like to see how the fellas respond.

  5. Don’t fake it ladies.. just use the Wrap It Up box.. Oh that’s not a real thing? Nevermind then..

    Just make sure you’re cool with such elaborate “white lies” coming back at you for the sake of “ease”..

  6. BP says:

    MAX!!!!!!! You’re a GENIUS!
    I would like to add *some men lie EXCESSIVELY about their anatomy size. Remember the story of the NFL player that I stopped seeing due to his complusive lying??…yeah well “big man” lied about that too. Told me he had elephantitis…when he had more like viennasuagatis. SMH

    *some actually equals 97.6379%

    1. the real question is why are you dealing with men who brag about their dick size?

      1. B_P says:

        Tu-you got me, that’s a fair question. But I’ve only dealt with that one dude that was a lying bragger but I have heard plenty of stories. Dudes just can’t admit they may not be as blessed as they think. It’s quite sad.

        1. Malik says:

          Women place a large emphasis on size, so why wouldn’t men lie/exaggerate something that you bet the house on?

        2. put it this way. out of all the women i’ve slept with the best partners were the ones who never talked about their sexual prowess. the ones who talked up their yoni? i was underwhelmed.

      2. Menelaus says:

        There was a conversation on this blog one time when a lot of men kept talking about their size and I just felt real uncomfortable.

        1. max says:

          I’m with you buddy. That is suspect behaviour.

  7. Malik says:

    As for the other 3, the first hits it right one the head and pretty close to the percentage. Second one I don’t personally agree with, but I wouldn’t disagree that it applies to the majority of men. The third one? We just didn’t know you got all that attached.

  8. TheRealChanee says:

    COSIGN COSIGN COSIGN on the “driving that woman crazy” angle. They SO do it. Ugh…

    And as far as the “checking to see if you’re still feeling me”- I have had some guys be so bold as to just come out and ASK. Where they do that at?!

  9. keisha brown says:

    The minute (I mean the MINUTE) you answer that message, about 78.6% percentage of his interest in you skeets right out the window

    THIS. ALL. OF. THIS.
    ugh.

    For the sanity of men, women and all endangered species.. just. stop. this.
    Please and thanks.

  10. sanen85 says:

    This entire list is on point!

  11. RedLady821 says:

    Yep Yep! I came out of my cave for a moment to read this post and it made me smile. You have them pegged dead on, esecially the phone call thingee, lol.

  12. Menelaus says:

    That “checking in to see how you’re doing” is really just a euphemism for “I want to make sure you’re still feeling me” – Most times when I do this, it’s to avoid a chick doing something “crazy”. I just want to make sure we’re on good terms. There are women in this world who will unannounced to you start to develop ill will towards a man from their past, or one that doesn’t talk to them as much. This is also when they start spreading vicious rumors about you or acting irrational.

    That it’s less fun for everyone when a woman makes the first move – Chill.

    That sometimes they really did drive that woman crazy – I have a story that I always like to tell and it starts with, “I’m not going to try and act like I didn’t contribute to any of this…” I always admit that most women who go crazy were drven there.

    That women are sometimes justified in faking orgasms – You gotta get your just like I gotta get mine.

  13. melissa says:

    this list is on point.

    esp #3. all women have a bit of crazy in us. in fairness, it’s not crazy and usually just insecurity. but it will come out as crazy if bad behaviour, lying, games, stupid shit like that provokes it.

    and for the record, i have never faked anything to get it end. there are other instances where a fake might be in order, but to get it to stop is not one of them (in my world).

  14. Studley says:

    Anytime I hear about a woman faking I say why bother do it in the first place? If your not into it then don’t do it. Why waste time? Also it makes me wonder about women I’ve dated and wonder if they faked it. I’m going to start making calls. Thanks Max

    1. max says:

      Don’t open up the can of worms Studs. No good can come of it!

  15. Cheekie says:

    Man, the “checking to see how you’re doing” thing JUST happened to me recently with a guy I used to talk to. Only he did it through my cousin. He asked her how I was doing as if he don’t have my number (of which he uses to text his club ass pluggers)

    -_______________________-

  16. QueenT says:

    Why do the guys hate so much that women fake an orgasm every now and again…I mean, isn’t it akin to you having wack s*x with a woman but not telling her it was wack…or saying it was good when it wasn’t….you mean to tell me that you have never NOT told a woman her s*x game was wack…even though it was…or is everyone all HONEST to a fault up in here….(looking at you MadScientst7)….lol. I mean it’s not a good thing..but it happens..it will continue to happen…and there is nothing that YOU men will be able to do about it…a woman will fake an orgasm on you at some point…….sorry.

    1. Malik says:

      They should be considered the same thing, but they’re not. We’re still at the point where people (men and women alike) can barely admit that women CAN be bad at it. But even when the concept can be accepted as a given in the conversation, it’s still viewed different from a personal and societal stand point. A man who is unable to make a woman orgasm is viewed as someone who’s less than a man in some facet or another because the onus is still largely put on us in order to make the woman orgasm.

      A woman who’s terrible on the other hand is just seen as someone who’s inexperienced. That’s the beginning, middle, and end of it. And considering it’s supposedly our job to make you orgasm, we can’t say it was bad. Because if you’ve failed, we’ve failed.

  17. “but I will say that moretimes a woman’s orgasm has very little to do with the man she’s thronxing or what he’s doing”

    Is This A Truthful Statement?

    If So, 104% Of Women Who Blame Men For NOT Having One Would Need To Shut The Fuck Up, No?

  18. streetztalk says:

    Ther is NO justification for faking organisms.

    The list is cool tho!

    Mad I missed this yesterday!

  19. chief78 says:

    Chief again, my perspective is slightly different than you’re usual posters. Bias as it may be, you can see my opinions…

    That “checking in to see how you’re doing” is really just a euphemism for “I want to make sure you’re still feeling me”

    -I’ll vouch for this; there are ulterior motives when we do this or any variations of it.

    That it’s less fun for everyone when a woman makes the first move

    -Personally, absolutely false. I love confidence, independence etc; It’s actually what I want. I need a strong woman, stronger than me in ways even. A woman approaching me brings another strong plus. It’s a teetering scale though, independence/dependence. Let me be a man and you be a woman. Even though I’m all liberal in my political beliefs and believe in equal everything ; at home, we do need to settle with the basics. Mothers are nurturers (kids, cook, clean; I mean yall do it so much better) and Fathers are providers (that means u come up with the change and gotta suck it up at the end of the day). Of course, all these responsibilities can shift in times of today, but they are just my rudimentary thoughts, not caveman, but yo, Man & Woman. Every relationship needs t o run on strengths and weaknesses, ying & yang, utilize them. Mommy step up, u know we all got mommy issues lol.

    That sometimes they really did drive that woman crazy

    -Oh yeah, I cosign this. Yeah, you can make em crazy as my peers have well pointed out to me like, “didn’t you… What did you think she was gonna do?. How did you think she would react”. I mean, I’ll admit I’ve drove a few to craziness lol. Sometimes I may not see it, if it wasn’t pointed out to me by the circle.

    That women are sometimes justified in faking orgasms

    -Umm, I kinda call bullshit. First of all, even from an experienced writer, this note is written unclear; body doesn’t match the question. A convoluted answer to a convoluted question: It happens to both parties. It happens on the man’s part too! Yeah, my situation, she’s done it, so have I. The question by nature goes back to pride/ego. Anyone saying they haven’t been “faked” is probably lying to themselves. To answer the question at the header, women & men are justified in “faking”. We fake cuz we just don’t want them to know “it’s just not happening tonight for me”, we still care for them and we don’t want to hurt their ego. This flip-flops, it goes both ways. To wrangle this all on men is unfair.

    -Chief78/Blu_Dreema

    1. chief78 says:

      Somebody’s felt this, that half-nut, “I’ma hold out”.. Switch positions, then it’s gone, ur dick is shrinking, you want to continue but you cant, so you bow out gracefully. Men stand up, it happens. This happens to men lol.

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