You guys read yesterday’s post (which I am too tired to link to) so you know what’s up. I’m up to my eyeballs in work so enjoy this throwback to the early days when Nasty Fridays weren’t so nasty. I promise I have something seriously raunchy for you next Friday that will make up for this.
In the good old days when I was making my first forays into the wonderful world of sex, things were a lot more straightforward. It seemed every dude had the same game plan – a few french kisses, some quality time spent with the breastage, a little bit of fingering, and we were off to the races. Only greedy guys were asking for you to go down on him and even if you said yes he wasn’t returning the favour. And if you asked him for it he’d puff out his chest and declare in whichever West Indian accent he was best able to emulate that he was a man and a man doesn’t do that.
I miss those days.
In this day and age the popular belief is that there’s something wrong with a man who refuses to sop up his girl’s biscuit – especially if he does so while insisting that she swallow his banana – but honestly I kinda don’t mind it. Actually let me be real – I kinda really like it.
See it’s not that I don’t like getting my “car washed”, it’s just that I don’t need it every single time I drive. Sometimes I just wanna hop on the highway and go straight to my destination without making any pit stops along the way. And moretimes when I do stop for a quick wash it either takes way longer than I wanted it to or I’m left with a half-cleaned car and an attitude because he didn’t put enough careful attention into the wash. Then for the rest of my journey, even it’s a beautiful scenic drive with no traffic and no trouble reaching my ultimate destination, a little part of me is still salty about the sub-standard wash I received.
So yeah, most of the time I’d rather skip it.
Unfortunately it’s become nearly impossible to get a meal from a man without him insisting that I spend time at the salad bar these days. No matter what I say to try to get out of it – if I tell him I don’t like salad, if I tell him I can’t tolerate roughage and it’s only going to ruin the rest of dinner, if I tell him that I never finish the salad and it’s only going to waste his time serving me one – he’s going to say the same thing: “that’s because I never served you salad yet”.
Though I struggled against it for years, these days I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not going to get the pipe without enduring the appetizer course first. And to be honest, most of the time I do enjoy it, despite the fact that I’m often full and satisfied after five minutes while he’s still going strong. And I do know that as sexual problems go, having a man insist on visiting the downtown area is not the worst problem to have. But still there are a lot of times that I look up at the ceiling and wonder just what the hell happened to those guys who refused to eat pu$$y.
I really miss those guys.
So what do you guys think? Any ladies out there feel me on this or am I crazy? And men are you willing to have sex with me without going down first the type who insists on giving your girl some oral loving or you happy when you find a girl who wants to skip it?
Talk dirty to me in the comments.