Your Multi-Penis Policy

03
Mar
2011
sexual

When you are a single woman trying to keep your parts oiled it’s imperative to give some thought to the issue of multiple sex partners. One of the beautiful things about being a dog without a leash is that you’re free to pee on whichever lawn tickles your fancy, but peeing on too many different [...]


When you are a single woman trying to keep your parts oiled it’s imperative to give some thought to the issue of multiple sex partners. One of the beautiful things about being a dog without a leash is that you’re free to pee on whichever lawn tickles your fancy, but peeing on too many different ones in too short a time period might get you branded the neighbourhood nuisance. But then again, what’s the point in being off your leash if you don’t allow yourself to roam freely?

Now the notion that women should be dating multiple men is nothing new; it makes more sense to cast a wide net, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, etc. etc. Which is all well and good when you’re talking about chaste encounters with gentlemen, but when it comes to bumping against multiple uglies, it’s a bit of a slippery slope.

Personally I’ve never been one to have concurrent sex partners. For one thing, I find the idea fundamentally unhygienic. But beyond that I’ve just never been too good at dating without sex. To be truthfully honest I’m really not good at being in repeated and close proximity to a straight man in any circumstance without wanting to bone.

Hmm that kind of makes me sound like a combination of a whorebag and a nympho, doesn’t it? Let me explain. I’m a very affectionate person. If I like you I will touch you constantly. If I’m attracted to you and constantly touching you I will want to bone you. Therefore it stands to reason that dating multiple men but not sleeping with them is not feasible for me. Plus – like I said, I find it unhygienic. I really can’t stress that enough.

Anyway. There are a great many women in the world who not only date multiple men concurrently, but who also exercise their freedom by getting their swerve on with whoever, whenever. And while I respect theses women for their well-oiled ladyparts, I do feel that we all need to have some kind of multi-peen policy.

Your multi-peen policy is just your own personal code of conduct for how you are going to pull off sleeping with multiple partners without catching a disease, a dependent, or a bad carfax. My personal code of conduct is one line long -I don’t sleep with more than one man at a time – but when you’re drafting yours, here are some things you should consider.

1. Downtime.

There has to be a minimum amount amount of time you will allow to elapse between partners. What you choose is up to you – a day, an hour, a week, as long as it takes for the cum to dry. I’m not telling you what my personal buffer zone is, but my advise to you would be to err on the side of a month, if for no other reason than to avoid a Maury “you are not the father” type of moment.

2. The No-fly zone.

You must determine a minimum degree of separation between your partners. You cannont bang Method Man on Tuesday and Redman on Wednesday That is going to do very bad things to your carfax. Very bad things.

3. Quiet as it’s kept.

Slaying multiple bros is not the move if you are the type of woman who likes to put her business out there. I know you think you’re single and you’re doing you and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not very ladylike to have the whole world know how many different sausages have been in your bun this month. If you can’t keep quiet this is not the move for you.

5. How many is too many?

Hey you’re single and the world is your oyster and you’re free to pursue any opportunity that crosses your path. But it’s one thing to have a Nola Darling-esque rotation of three different dudes, it’s quite another to have more names on your roster than an NFL team. Freedom does not mean be indiscriminate.

6. The hotness of exclusivity.

One of the lovely things about sleeping with only one person is that the exclusivity of your arrangement allows for some heightened hawtness. This is part of the reason that relationship sex often wins over no-strings sex. Remember the scene in The Best Man where Lance was talking about how Mia’s pussy curves to his dick? Being able to tell a man that your pussy belongs to him is a beautiful thing. Hearing him tell you this is also great. But – and this might be overly-sentimental of me to say – the moment is cheapened a little bit when you’re saying it to a different dude every week.

7. To tell the truth.

I personally think it’s kinda gross to give a man the impression that his is the only vehicle passing through your tunnel when he’s not, but then again part of the beauty of being single is that what you do is your business. Don’t ask and don’t tell is usually the move in this situation, but when you’re asked – what do you do? Telling a man that he is a part of a lineup doesn’t seem good for business, but getting caught lying about it is really bad for business. If you’re going to have many trains running through your station you need to have a disclosure policy firmly in place.

And there you have it – things to consider when developing your policy on cuddling multiple cocks. But what say you dear readers? Are you a multi-partner type or a one ting at a time kind of person? What are your policies on sleeping with multiple people? Speak on it in the comments.


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32 Comments

  • keisha brown says:

    Don’t ask. Don’t tell. Don’t lie when asked.
    And number one probably went without saying, but be clean (like tested for sti clean).
    I couldn’t imagine contracting something and not knowing who gave it to me. Eek.

    I’d also like to add – don’t let anyone change you but you. If you are enjoying it and aren’t hurting anyone, don’t let anyone shame you into stopping. Esp one of the dudes. He’ll want to claim your body, but not anything else. Aka: beware of the #swindle

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    I love the ‘She’s Gotta Have It’ reference. Watching that movie as a teen really made me question and reconsider my attitude(s) towards women, sex and gender roles. Anyway, I must say that I agree with everything on this list but you gotta be careful with # 7. There are a lot of guys out there who, even if they know the situation is casual, subconsciously put claims on a woman and can’t handle the fact that another dude is camping out in what he thinks is his backyard. It can get ugly. Not “crying and who is he ugly” but “I’ve got something to prove so I’m going to keep f*cking you hard even though you’re getting dry” ugly.

    • max says:

      Not “crying and who is he ugly” but “I’ve got something to prove so I’m going to keep f*cking you hard even though you’re getting dry” ugly..

      This, Sam Sharpe. THIS.

    • FLYY says:

      Late as usual… but the man Sam Sharpe has done it again:

      There are a lot of guys out there who, even if they know the situation is casual, subconsciously put claims on a woman and can’t handle the fact that another dude is camping out in what he thinks is his backyard.

  • funms says:

    When keeping multiple partners…always use protection
    and like you said, downtime matters because too many sexual partners in a short span causes a high risk of cervical cancer…

    Quiet as it’s kept: that usually works for me :)
    Great post as usual

  • melissa says:

    i have no concept of this policy. i too think it’s unhygenic. and the concept of multiple partners in general beyond just hitting and quitting (which i also have no concept of) makes me mad.

  • Mrs.Brightside says:

    Number one is my main rule while I’m on a mission for relations. If I’m not seeing anyone exclusively at least on month has to go by in between the guys I have sex with so if I get pregnant I know whose kid it is or if a health issue arises I have a good idea about who it’s from.

    Question: Max, do you think bisexual women should include female partners? I don’t just because my main thing is avoiding baby daddy drama. I won’t make a guy wait for a month after sex with a woman but I will stop a woman from going down on me if I recently slept with a guy. Is that unfair for the guy?

    • max says:

      Um….no I don’t think it’s unfair. I mean this isn’t exactly my bailiwick (I sooo wish it were) but I think there’s an element of….invasiveness when we’re talking about sex with men that doesn’t exist in the same way when we’re talking about sex with women. Or at least that’s what it’s about in my mind.

      I do feel like it’s unsanitary to have multiple dicks entering me in a short period of time but if we’re talking about fists or tongues or strap-ons it seems much less so.

      • average chick says:

        Why is it unsanitary to have multiple dicks in you if you are using a condom?

      • Mrs.Brightside says:

        Good to know someone agrees with my thought process.
        I agree with you on the unsanitary thing. Even with a condom you never know what may happen. I’ve been going at it on numerous occasions when the condom broke. Even if the condom doesn’t break its not called bumping uglies for nothing. But to each its own.

  • average chick says:

    I don’t see the point in being exclusive with one dick if he is screwing other people. I did that for all my twenties and most of my thirties and I regret it.

  • GirlSixx says:

    Numbers 2 and 3 are EXTREMLY important factors when doing hoeshit. I don’t understand why some chicks can’t comprehend this. *smh*

    Buy a journal/diary sumthin and write down your escapades. Be careful of your girlfriends too, telling them your business gives them something to hang over your head and god forbid you two should ever fall out…… She will have your business in the streets.

    Humping dudes that live in the same town is NOT THE MOVE, you don’t know what his social life is like and what circle he runs in, there’s always a chance he may know someone that knows someone that knows the other dude.

    Just My Opinion.

    • max says:

      First of all, I tip my hat to you for using the word hoeshit in your comment. I love that word and I’m mad I forgot to use it in your post.

      Second you are right about you never know who is talking to whom about this stuff. You are so very right.

  • Menelaus says:

    I don’t know what to say about this because I know too many women who have multiple partners. Sigh… guys do it too. We just do it differently.

  • sanen85 says:

    As an avid, long-time soap opera fan, I’m more than cautious about ever having a who-the-daddy crisis on my hand. I just don’t do multiple sexual partners, and assure that there is at the VERY LEAST a month in between sexual encounters with different men.

    It really doesn’t have anything to do with the perception of me in the community (because people will make up stories if they don’t have any real ones), it’s more about how I feel about myself.

  • BGirl says:

    I agree with the code of conduct in this post.

    I think it’s all about the way you carry yourself. If you’re running through family reunions and as you said football teams, thats just unbecoming of a woman. Period. As I said yesterday, I don’t have issue with keeping things open between multiple guys. As long everyone uses protection and knows what/who they’re getting into.

  • good post.

    if you’re going to be a hoe. be a hoe. i say that with as much respect as possible. yes men can be hoes too. *shrug*

  • Diggame says:

    I have no problems with how many penises a chick had I am more concerned about the way they recieved the penises. I actually just wrote a post on this But, I can’t have you smashing multiple homies, having trains ran on you, and you cant have been a woman soliciting prostitution. I mean is that so much for a playa to ask for a woman to not have done those three things?

    http://ashy2classy.net/2011/03/03/you-can-change-a-ho-into-a-housewife-in-theory/

    • Adonis says:

      I have no problems with how many penises a chick had I am more concerned about the way they recieved the penises

      Yes & No… Women need to keep their body count down (if they are thinking about having a family & marriage, although hoes get married everyday) AND should deal with mature men who won’t put your business out there…

      I will say it again… I want to be with HOES that I create, I am very wary of other men’s hoes…

      I love the word HOESHIT too…

  • Adonis says:

    Personally I’ve never been one to have concurrent sex partners. For one thing, I find the idea fundamentally unhygienic. But beyond that I’ve just never been too good at dating without sex. To be truthfully honest I’m really not good at being in repeated and close proximity to a straight man in any circumstance without wanting to bone.

    Hmm that kind of makes me sound like a combination of a whorebag and a nympho, doesn’t it? Let me explain. I’m a very affectionate person. If I like you I will touch you constantly. If I’m attracted to you and constantly touching you I will want to bone you. Therefore it stands to reason that dating multiple men but not sleeping with them is not feasible for me. Plus – like I said, I find it unhygienic. I really can’t stress that enough.

    Max, I heart you & you intimidate me in the same breath…

    A+ Post!

  • Kriola says:

    I love this post to death!!! I Feel like we share the same brain right now, I agree with everything!! Currently my one at a time policy is sucking because I’m not getting what I want on a consistent basis but like you said, more than one at a time is just so unhygienic to me. Why has it taken me so long to find your blog…I’ll be on here EVERYDAY!

  • JT says:

    I guess I’m just a hoe then. I mean when I was younger like in my teens it was bad but now it ain’t that bad. I have two guys I fuck regularly however, no one knows that but me…and now you but none of u know me. I mean, each has something different to offer so why not have both sides and enjoy it. It’s not like I fuck them both every night and it’s not like we aren’t all clean…


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