Your Multi-Penis Policy
When you are a single woman trying to keep your parts oiled it’s imperative to give some thought to the issue of multiple sex partners. One of the beautiful things about being a dog without a leash is that you’re free to pee on whichever lawn tickles your fancy, but peeing on too many different [...]
When you are a single woman trying to keep your parts oiled it’s imperative to give some thought to the issue of multiple sex partners. One of the beautiful things about being a dog without a leash is that you’re free to pee on whichever lawn tickles your fancy, but peeing on too many different ones in too short a time period might get you branded the neighbourhood nuisance. But then again, what’s the point in being off your leash if you don’t allow yourself to roam freely?
Now the notion that women should be dating multiple men is nothing new; it makes more sense to cast a wide net, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, etc. etc. Which is all well and good when you’re talking about chaste encounters with gentlemen, but when it comes to bumping against multiple uglies, it’s a bit of a slippery slope.
Personally I’ve never been one to have concurrent sex partners. For one thing, I find the idea fundamentally unhygienic. But beyond that I’ve just never been too good at dating without sex. To be truthfully honest I’m really not good at being in repeated and close proximity to a straight man in any circumstance without wanting to bone.
Hmm that kind of makes me sound like a combination of a whorebag and a nympho, doesn’t it? Let me explain. I’m a very affectionate person. If I like you I will touch you constantly. If I’m attracted to you and constantly touching you I will want to bone you. Therefore it stands to reason that dating multiple men but not sleeping with them is not feasible for me. Plus – like I said, I find it unhygienic. I really can’t stress that enough.
Anyway. There are a great many women in the world who not only date multiple men concurrently, but who also exercise their freedom by getting their swerve on with whoever, whenever. And while I respect theses women for their well-oiled ladyparts, I do feel that we all need to have some kind of multi-peen policy.
Your multi-peen policy is just your own personal code of conduct for how you are going to pull off sleeping with multiple partners without catching a disease, a dependent, or a bad carfax. My personal code of conduct is one line long -I don’t sleep with more than one man at a time – but when you’re drafting yours, here are some things you should consider.
There has to be a minimum amount amount of time you will allow to elapse between partners. What you choose is up to you – a day, an hour, a week,
as long as it takes for the cum to dry. I’m not telling you what my personal buffer zone is, but my advise to you would be to err on the side of a month, if for no other reason than to avoid a Maury “you are not the father” type of moment.
2. The No-fly zone.
You must determine a minimum degree of separation between your partners. You cannont bang Method Man on Tuesday and Redman on Wednesday That is going to do very bad things to your carfax. Very bad things.
3. Quiet as it’s kept.
Slaying multiple bros is not the move if you are the type of woman who likes to put her business out there. I know you think you’re single and you’re doing you and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not very ladylike to have the whole world know how many different sausages have been in your bun this month. If you can’t keep quiet this is not the move for you.
5. How many is too many?
Hey you’re single and the world is your oyster and you’re free to pursue any opportunity that crosses your path. But it’s one thing to have a Nola Darling-esque rotation of three different dudes, it’s quite another to have more names on your roster than an NFL team. Freedom does not mean be indiscriminate.
6. The hotness of exclusivity.
One of the lovely things about sleeping with only one person is that the exclusivity of your arrangement allows for some heightened hawtness. This is part of the reason that relationship sex often wins over no-strings sex. Remember the scene in The Best Man where Lance was talking about how Mia’s pussy curves to his dick? Being able to tell a man that your pussy belongs to him is a beautiful thing. Hearing him tell you this is also great. But – and this might be overly-sentimental of me to say – the moment is cheapened a little bit when you’re saying it to a different dude every week.
7. To tell the truth.
I personally think it’s kinda gross to give a man the impression that his is the only vehicle passing through your tunnel when he’s not, but then again part of the beauty of being single is that what you do is your business. Don’t ask and don’t tell is usually the move in this situation, but when you’re asked – what do you do? Telling a man that he is a part of a lineup doesn’t seem good for business, but getting caught lying about it is really bad for business. If you’re going to have many trains running through your station you need to have a disclosure policy firmly in place.
And there you have it – things to consider when developing your policy on cuddling multiple cocks. But what say you dear readers? Are you a multi-partner type or a one ting at a time kind of person? What are your policies on sleeping with multiple people? Speak on it in the comments.