Whores Finish First
2011
I came across this post the other day on Jean DeGrate‘s blog and I almost choked to death laughing at it. He has graciously agreed to let me share it with you. ***Not necessarily “whores,” but I like using the word. Let’s just say that according to the Jean DeGrate dictionary, and for the purposes [...]
I came across this post the other day on Jean DeGrate‘s blog and I almost choked to death laughing at it. He has graciously agreed to let me share it with you.
***Not necessarily “whores,” but I like using the word. Let’s just say that according to the Jean DeGrate dictionary, and for the purposes of this blog, “whores” are women with friendlier vaginas than most others.***
There’re two kinds of hoes out here: 1) The out-in-the-open hoes, and 2) The fuck on the first or second date hoes. The out-in-the-open hoes normally get played as sideline chicks and jump-offs, and even in that role, they normally finish second. This blog is about the “fuck on the first or second date” hoes. It’s a war going on right now between good girls and whores. The whores are winning by a landslide… and here’s why.
Do you know any lonely hoes? No… me either. Come to think of it, some of the happiest people I know are hoes. They kind of have this carefree way about them, never really stressed for a long period of time, but I guess that’s because they keep a man on deck.
Pre-pussy madness
It’s almost an exact science. These hoes have developed what I like to call the “getting the dumb shit out of the way approach,” and by “dumb shit,” I mean fucking. There’s this strange area in every relationship that exists between the initial meeting and fucking: the pre-pussy stage. During that span, most guys are the nicest, most charming motherfuckers you’ll ever meet, and that’s mostly because they are doing almost everything in their power not to mess up their chances of getting you naked. During this stage, women are different too. While men are aiming to hit you with the daddy stroke, women, on the other hand, are aiming to make a good impression, keeping all her skeletons tucked away in hopes of developing a relationship. It’s like two people pretending to be better than they actually are to fool the other into liking them. The shit is beyond crazy. The sooner they fuck, the sooner shit gets real.
Whores aren’t limited by such inhibitions
The difference between a regular woman and a whore is a whore doesn’t view sex as a prize. That’s right ladies and gentlemen: there is no imaginary finish line, no coochie points to accumulate, no allotted time frame for fucking, or any of that preconceived bullshit. Yes… bullshit. Good girls put a strict timeframe on the pussy to avoid being considered a whore or easy. A good girl will let you kiss all over her, maybe slide in a finger or two, get her panties soaking wet, but won’t fuck… just because she doesn’t want to be grouped into the “whore” category the next day. For a hoe, it’s really simple: if she’s feeling him and wants to fuck him… she will. There’s no pedestal for her to take the pussy off of to get the show on the road. After the sex, he’ll pretty much stop pretending he’s this great guy, and if they really like each other, they’ll move forward. So while, the regular woman would have spent 3 to 4 weeks dating Mr. Not-So-Right to find out he ain’t shit, the whore would have gotten to that knowledge (all the while getting a nut or two out of the way) in 6 days and moved on to the next dude on her roster.
Dating in numbers
Good girls tend to date one dude at a time. Yeah, she might go out with Anthony on Tuesday for happy hour and do lunch with James on Thursday, but those dudes are in the friend zone, and they don’t even know it. She really likes Mike so she’s only seriously dating him. Anthony and James are just fill-ins when Mike isn’t available or she’s (for whatever reason) trying to pretend she’s keeping things with Mike low-key. On the other hand, if a hoe has 3 dudes on her roster, all those dudes are getting clock, and they are all in equal contention until one dude clearly pulls out ahead of the rest. It’s a recipe for success, and the odds of a hoe finding a compatible suitor are much higher because she covering more ground in less time.
Whores don’t reboot
After the good girl has wasted 6 weeks to 3 months dating Mr. Wrong, she often becomes a bit of a recluse. She spends the next couple weeks mulling around in a man-hating funk. She can’t eat; she can’t sleep; the bitch is damn near on suicide watch over a 3 month “relationship”. Whores don’t have such hang-ups because they don’t intertwine sex and emotion as deeply as the good girl. When one dude turns out not to be the dude for her, she just moves on to the next one (no Jay-Z).
Feeding into misconceptions
There are all these little “easy girls” delusions floating around that lead poor good girls to act against what might actually benefit them. They are so stuck on what “society” may or may not say is the right thing to do. The biggest misconception is that men won’t like you if you sleep with them too soon. Bullshit. From a fiscal standpoint, dating an easy woman is a smart move. Do you know how much an average date costs? Dinner, movies, and drinks will run you at least $150 on the low end, only to finish the night with a pelvis out church hug. After 3 good dates, you could easily be down 450 to 800 bucks to get a goodnight kiss. Yeah… she’s cool, but Lil Ray-Ray had the crystal clear bootleg of all 3 of the movies you just took her to see for $5 each, and you just paid $800 for a kiss… no tongue. So yeah, the hoe that’s fucking fast will get a return call. Simple economics tells us it’s more bang for the buck… literally. Unless the pussy is bad, she can expect a follow up date. As far as the hoe with horrible pussy, she might still finish first if her head is on the one or she’s cool sitting Indian-style on the floor, watching bootlegs, and eating carry-out, but that’s another blog.
Now with all that said, do you know any lonely good girls or stand up chicks? I know tons of them, and I mean it can be 10:35pm on a Saturday night in the middle of summer and these bitches are sitting on the bed, eating ice cream, watching Bravo, ALONE. I also know a ton of stand up chicks dating ain’t shit men because they don’t want to start from scratch all over again.
I’m not telling you good girls to go out and start fucking on the first date; I’m just simply asking, where were you last Saturday at 10:35PM?
What do you guys think? Do you agree that whores stay winning? Speak on it in the comments.
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Yo.Maxfab,
Where I’m from information goes around pretty fast. What usually happens is all the boys know the whore is a cheap score and many will just grab some ass and move on. If the end game is getting hitched, or dating the guy…it probably never gets to that point. She’ll forever be a side chic and the topic of pub discussions. Holding out on sex usually helps weed the geezers as most men aren’t willing to waste time or money if there’s no genuine interest. Occasionally, you’ll find a mad man who will invest both and still disappear after sex but that’s the exception not the rule.
I am man and this is a man’s viewpoint.
Wow….woooooooow
That’s the most gangsterish post I’ve ever read.
She makes good points, but I’m not completely sure if it’s that’s cut & dry. Ive been more of a hoe than a good girl and being a hoe didnt weed out shit. I think that my nonchalant attitude about sex just made guys not take me seriously and wheninwanted to be taken seriously, they were too busy being hypnotised by my pussy.
I was never told to put my pussy on a pedestal, so I never did. I can’t say that I wish I had put it on pedestal, but in hindsight, I wish I had the right thinking and reasoning behind my hoeish ways from the beginning. Now i feel too tired to be a hoe.
First of all, I’m not sure why I’m awake right now. Second of all, I co-sign this post. I am man and I verify that the facts presented above are accurate, vetted and all encompassing. Do with this information what you will.
I love this post, and Max keeps bringing FIRE for free
Do whores finish first… YES… If you are male whore…
In America we are in an era where the whore is celebrated
and reviledAnd because most men don’t have a clue, alot of these hoes get married… so women can have her cake & eat it too…
Whores make the world more fun, and finding a wife more challenging…
GOD Bless America & Great Post
You know what…I agree that they finish first in this day and age, but Facebook has given me the “privilege” of knowing some lonely hoes LoL they are annoying with their silly statuses every other day out men and relationships.
I have seen notorious Hoes get knocked up and wifed (a few still still hoing, smh) so anything is possible.
Let’s see…10:35 pm I was chillin with the homies kicking ass and taking names on the Kinect =)
It all depends if you’re a Ho in a small town lol. I have hoeish tendencies, I’ll admit that but I can’t do shit where where I live. And I’m too lazy to drive 40 minutes to the “city” lol. Back in the day I didn’t care and if I still lived in DC or NY, I still wouldn’t. I think when you see a guy you’ve already have made the decision as to whether or not you’re going to give them some. At least I do. Every man I meet is a potential fuck. Now I usually lose interest after a couple of days so if you last past those days we’ll have sex.
I lay my shit out. I don’t have times for the games. Never did.I tell you what I want and if you can comply then we move forward.If not that’s okay. On to the next one. I hate feeling like I’ve wasted some of my unlimited minutes on you.
I’m not a fuck on the first date chick though I have to find you interesting enough after the first date. And if you can’t kiss…blah. But if I want you, it’ll be in the first week. My problem is men don’t believe what I say. They think there are strings attached. I want more I tell you. But my sex/relationship ADD kicks in after a while so I usually don’t.
After this comment you are officially my idol Danielle!
You are already my Idol! I tell everyone about you! Is it okay to idolize each other? When does it become creepy? lol
“I think when you see a guy you’ve already have made the decision as to whether or not you’re going to give them some.”
This is the absolute truth..
I know within 5 minutes of meeting you if I’m going let you hit in the near future, if I don’t make the “mmmph” sound in my head then you are officially in the friend zone.
I don’t even be kissing those that I be fucking. I reserve kisses for the ones I actually like…LOL
I have GOT to kiss. There’s just something about it. It’s part of the process for me. It’s the stoop to your place. If it’s all messy and beatback looking I am so not going to want to go to your apartment.
Amen. I have been preaching this sh** for years. Listen ladies, the kind of man that will f*ck you early, judge you a hoe and non-wifey material is working from an outdated playbook that surely has chapters called “She Really Ain’t As Smart As Me”, “If She Can’t Piss Standing Up She Ain’t Shit” and “B*tch Bring Me My Breakfast”. So why would you cater your social calendar and life according to this bullshit. Why would you want to boo up and potentially procreate with a man who will pass on this kind of thinking to your kids, further propagating this crap.
I’m grown. You’re grown. He’s grown. She’s grown. We’re all grown. If we want to do grown people things then let’s do grown people things.
LOL at the playbook chapters…but point taken.
yea…. sounds good. But how many men own that book?
I feel you Mr. Sharpe…
& Men really make it hard for women to express their sexuality… I feel little bad for them in that respect
But I think I have consistent
on my inconsistencies…I love the whores (I helped create), they are relationship material… Those women go far with me
I’m not a big fan of some other man’s whore… I would have as much as a short term relationship with her
but I am susceptible to falling in love, so I am a LITTLE flexible, chuck the deuces… And that is what it isLove it!
By the way I’m a dude.
Ha! I am soooo sorry for referring to you as “she” earlier. I fixed it now!
This. Made. Me. Laugh.
Alright you got me. I’m a hoe/sometimes. This is a very accurate post. I keep 3 maybe 4 dudes(if I’m looking for a challenge) on speed dial just to keep my options open. Now I’m not smashing every dude(yet) but there is one that stays winning over here.
So I’m going put my cosign riiight…here. Like everything else its good as long as its safe.
I’m not sure I agree with this whole thing, but I need to give it more thoughts before I write a longer comment.
I feel like you missing a whole population of hoes. You didn’t touch on confused hoes. The hoes who just always end up with a dick in their mouth for no reason and can’t figure out why. Or the powerless hoes. The hoes who once they get turned on can’t stop until they get a nut. This is how a lot of women said they wasn’t going to sleep with him and did. I don’t know… that last one might make a whole lot of women “hoes”.
Also, hoes do reboot. When they’ve been found out. They attempt to lay low for a little bit to regain their reputation. The thing is once a chick has been found out to be a whore, like she fucked her best friend’s husband or she sucked a rapper off backstage, she gotta lay low for a few weeks or months. The thing is women won’t be seen with a woman who is thought as a whore by everyone. The other thing is men won’t approach you because they fear if someone sees them, their reputation is going to be ruined. And the last thing is that a hoe knows that if anybody can say who you f*cking, even if it’s on the low, your reputation is not recovering. So they wait it out, tell their friends, “I’m just over it, right now” and they come out of hiding in a while and go back to their hoe’ing ways.
I can’t get enough of Dr. Jay
I feel like if I was to say “you’re absolutely right about all of this” I’d basically be proclaiming myself as a hoe so let me just say “interesting perspective”.
Hahaha. “i feel like you missing a whole population of hoes”. I totally agree.
There’s a character that should also fall under ‘confused hoes’. The straight ones, who after realising they’ve been around waaay too much, turn homosexual, then find out they miss the male companion or the dick, (however they try to sugar-coat it) go from that to bisexual, then go all the way back to heterosexual.
This made me laugh hard.. So true
*COUGH* *COUGH* I guess I am no longer a confused hoe after reading this post!!! I totally understand now lmao. GREAT POST MAX
Everyone has a lot of ‘whore’ in them, even the men. We all hide it to get what we want. And the ‘free-spirited’ ones aren’t trully happy, they just feign the happiness. It’s just what it is.
Co-Sign
Or… maybe we… I mean they really are happy. lol!
I’m happy…..
This was A DAMN GOOD POST. One of your best Max! With that being, said
I hate you…I’m in that stupid post 3 month funk right now. Alone, eating ice cream and reading your blog and nodding my sad little head to each line I’ve read
haha?
I’m trying to remind myself why you aren’t supposed to be a hoe but I’ll be damned I’m pressed to find the reasons right now lol
Ever heard the expression, ‘U can never turn a hoe into a housewife’? Yes, the shit you just said does make sense if the woman’s ultimate goal is a long line of short relationships and one night stands. However, if one is looking for longlasting companionship this shit just does not cut it. Hoes fuck around because they love da dcik, not because they’re looking for anything long-term. Here’s the thing, there might be more than one to skin a damn cat, but skinning a cat has to be your ultimate goal
About 50% of the relationships my friends have that have lasted over a year have started with a one-night-stand or giving it up on the first date. Other 50% I’m not sure
. I have one or two friends who are well-known ho’s, yet they always seem to get a relationship when they want one… and a long-term one at that (living together etc.) Maybe they’re amazing in the sack, I don’t know. I just think that it doesn’t really seem to matter if you’re a good girl or a bad girl, if you find that right guy it’ll work out regardless of whether you have sex the first night or not.
I also wouldn’t want to be with a dude who openly admits to fucking ho’s but wanting a “good girl” for a wife. Such a double standard just makes me laugh. You’re not getting this good girl sir… I’ll find me a good man
.
Besides, if you live in a big city, no guy will know if you’re a ho or not unless you fuck all his friends. One guy per group is the rule
.
I LOVE THIS.
I am a definitely more on the “whoreish” side than the good girl. I have received alot of criticism from my boyfriends, side-eyes from homegirls, counseling, uncovering of daddy issues, dating a virgin, only to realize…. I enjoy sex!
Now, as whore I can still be selective, loving, caring, AND faithful. It is just that I don’t play these cat and mouse games with sex. Let’s do it and if it works great, if it doesn’t, next! Sex for me does not define, begin or end a relationship. It is an extension of what we are learning about each other. There are so many men that I have had sex with first only to learn that they were horrible sensually and sexually. No time wasted, just moved on.
If more women had great sex, no one would complain about marriage and relationships.
I wish more men respected women who were honesty about their sexuality.