Call It Your P*ssy (A @drjayjack guest post)


I knew this girl back in college who had the filthiest mouth of all time, but not when she was having sex, like outside of it.  Yeah, she used words like “cock” and “cunt” and for some reason it turned me on.  She also gargled on cum, had an oral fixation, and rarely wore panties.  (Yes, as a whistle, bald as a whistle.)  I wonder if you can see how she looks in your head, the way I can in my head.  So we had this conversation one day when I asked her, “What’s the best way to ask a woman to give you head?”  I just could never figure it out.

“Suck my dick.”
“Give me some head.”
“Put your mouth here.”
“Would you mind placing my penis in your mouth?”
“My cock wants to fuck your face.”

I’m sorry, I really didn’t know.  Now for her she didn’t care, and her point was she liked to suck it before it asked to be sucked.  But she told me that probably the best out of those five was; “Give me some head.”

But it got me to thinking about what to call a woman’s vagina.  For most men, a woman’s vagina is the entire entity of her, so they say things like “let me eat you out.” (I hope someone sees what I did there.)  But unless you’ve got a pet name for it, no man really feels like going outside of the realm of “vagina”.  So I asked several women, “What do you call your vagina?”  And then I got so many tired ass pet names it started to annoy me; Lil’ [whatever her name is], HoHa, VJJ, Miss It, My Flower, Hello Kitty, etc.  I have to admit Hello Kitty kind of was interesting because it reminded of those tiny tees they sell which are in girl’s sizes, but they are in Spencer’s (a store that also sells sex toys) which is downright confusing.  I’m still confused as to whether those shirts are for girls or women.  Although, I’m pretty sure that those tee shirts are similar to women with no hair on their “HoHa,” how you look at it depends on how old she is, but it’s appropriate at any age.

Point being, none of those words interested me.

It wasn’t until I was at a group function and one of the young ladies was sitting there describing a story and she said it.  She said what we had all been thinking, but had all been wondering if it would ever come out of a woman’s mouth.  Was it just a word for rough sex used to show ownership, almost like I was talking down to her?  As she lead up to it, all the men stopped and stared, closed their mouths as though they were now reading her lips and didn’t need to hear a thing.  Her lips glossed, her words slow, yet intentional she said, “I call it, my pussy.”

It moved me…

It sounded so perfect to me, such a turn on.  It was nasty, but why was it nasty?  It wasn’t crass or tacky, it was perfect.  I loved the way the word started and the way it ended.  It was right after, “fuck me” and shortly before, “I don’t have any panties on” as the two most favorite things I would like to hear whispered slowly in my ear with candor and purpose.  It’s one of those words that you can’t rush, but you can’t say it too long either.  It has perfect rhyme and symmetry.

It’s what you call it when we aren’t around, and inside of every man there’s a boy who stood on top of his boy’s shoulders at the vent in the boys’ locker room.  He was trying to get inside the girls’ locker room with every bone in his body.  All he got was an obstructed view.  Sort of like watching the adult channels that were scrambled; you could hear it perfectly and occasionally you saw a breast.  When we hear that word it takes us to that excitement, almost as much as the first time we saw one.  But this isn’t the first one we saw, this is a mature, grown up, sexy one, it’s your pussy.

So ladies, what do you call your pussy? And men what do you call your cocks? (I’m rather partial to the word cock myself, it’s sounds nastier than dick). Do you judge people for what they call their private parts?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 24

  1. Wait. There are women out there who are remiss in calling their pussy their “pussy”?


    1. max says:

      I didn’t start calling mine pussy until I was in my thirties.

      1. Starita34 says:

        28…so yeah, also late…

  2. Berriblk says:

    Hmm I was under the impression most, if not all, men called it pussy. I only use the term pussy with my funny acting male friend. He likes to pretend to be a prude and I like to be vulgar with those types. I really don’t have a name for it. When I do ever discuss it with anyone, which is extremely rare, I’d probably use a cultural term. But I do like using the term vagina and penis, just because its not really used anymore and the clinical element of it all just seems out of place within those types of conversations.

    1. dblcr says:

      “He likes to pretend to be a prude and I like to be vulgar with those types.”

      I know im late but this ^^^^ GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! lol. ive been that way my entire life

  3. Starita34 says:

    Depends on why I’m talking about her…

    Pussy has nasty connotations for me. Like I’d never tell my mother that I’m going to the Pussy Doctor for a checkup or a teen that she needs to get familiar with her pussy before she lets a man go poking around.

    But if I’m talking nasty with my girls or a man that I have sexual interest in, pussy is appropriate.

    Time and place. Although pussy is very “dirty” to me, so I def have to be in the right mind frame to say it without blushing.

    We were taught the correct terminology for body parts and functions. So I grew up urinating from my urethra and when I said the word ‘who ha’ to my mom she was none to pleased. I’m grown. I do what I want. Majority of the time, it’s my who ha…*shrug*

    I’m growing more fond of “cock”, but I believe “dick” will always be my favorite. No pause. Penis and vagina are very clinical and sterile. And if I’m in the vicinity of a grown man’s dick, clinical and sterile (not to be confused with disease free, that’s a GIVEN) are the last things I’m looking for.

  4. i know some women who absolutely detest the word pussy. i’m partial to it myself. it just rolls off the tongue better (pun intended). i don’t know many women who actually name their pussy. it would sound weird to me but i guess i could get used to it. i’ve never referred to my lingam as anything but my dick.

    1. max says:

      I once read somewhere that men who use the word pussy hate women.

      1. whoever wrote that lied.

      2. Kema says:

        “I once read somewhere that men who use the word pussy hate women.”

        I bet that comment was not about when men are talking about lady parts but other uses of the word. Like using the word as a diss.

    2. Starita34 says:

      Um on this topic {Warning: obviously personal rant ahead!}, if your ex nicknamed your dick, do not go about calling your dick by this name and presenting it to the next girl as if it’s just what you call it. I do not want to affectionately call your dick the North Shore because that’s how you introduced him to me and later find out that he’s named that because you and the ex that you are obviously-not now and will never be-over, named him that after you had sex for the first time on Hawai’i’s North Shore. Ok? Name him yourself or leave HER nickname for HER and let me give him my own name that doesn’t conjure memories of the one that got away and a lovely romp on the beaches of Hawai’i.

      I don’t wanna remind you of her every time I want some of your dick. Is this a confusing concept? Seems pretty obvious to me. *hmpf*

      1. Menelaus says:

        I feel like this comment came from the heart.

      2. HLBB says:

        What kind of dumbass does that?!
        Personally, I’ve not ever nicknamed a man’s johnson. I have no desire to talk about it unless it’s to describe exactly what I want from it…

        1. max says:

          I once lost it on a Mr. Max because I overheard some chick using the same code word for thronxing as we did. It was a completely random word so I knew it came from him.
          I was like I don’t mind that you’re beating that but how can you use MY code word with her you tacky motherfucker?

          1. Starita34 says:

            YES! Is NOTHING sacred? #Dick

            1. Starita34 says:


  5. HLBB says:

    I actually had to think about that for a minute.

    I don’t ever my vagina my pussy. The men in my sexual life do. I like how it sounds better coming from them than from me.

    My preferred non-clinical term would be “coochie”.

  6. Kema says:

    Well I still like to say wee wee when refering to the peen and I have a cookie. Probably named so because I’m totally in love with cunnilingus.

  7. AllUBitchezIsMySonz says:

    Pussy is an erotic word! Like it turns me on. Pause. When I’m sexin my man n he whispers it n my ear.. Ughh..I usually call it “cooch” lol.. Coochie sounds hairy lol!! Idk??!

  8. PrincessZen says:

    I like calling it pussy, or vagina in settings where I have to be appropriate. Anything else coming out of my mouth sounds awkward to me.

  9. Warren says:

    I’m from the South USA and I remember people calling a pussy a cock. I asked a friend if he remembered it and he said he did. He said at some point due to an influx of Northerners people stopped because they used the word cock for a penis. Anyone else remember that? I tried to research it on the net but didnt get far.

  10. keisha brown says:

    in the middle of getting hot and heavy, i told a dude i wanted to suck his cock. he proceeded to mock/tease me and said cock sounds white. um seem to have lost FOCUS on the action and not the word. -___-

    but what that showed me is that 1 person can indeed change your trajectory of how you interact with future partners (while i probably shouldnt). what one person finds erotic and sexy, another may not.

    i will say that when im typing on these internets, i now refer to the vagina as pink friday. moreso to be ironic. what i whisper, yell in bed, on the phone or via skype? whatever that person inspires.

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