I knew this girl back in college who had the filthiest mouth of all time, but not when she was having sex, like outside of it. Yeah, she used words like “cock” and “cunt” and for some reason it turned me on. She also gargled on cum, had an oral fixation, and rarely wore panties. (Yes, as a whistle, bald as a whistle.) I wonder if you can see how she looks in your head, the way I can in my head. So we had this conversation one day when I asked her, “What’s the best way to ask a woman to give you head?” I just could never figure it out.
“Suck my dick.”
“Give me some head.”
“Put your mouth here.”
“Would you mind placing my penis in your mouth?”
“My cock wants to fuck your face.”
I’m sorry, I really didn’t know. Now for her she didn’t care, and her point was she liked to suck it before it asked to be sucked. But she told me that probably the best out of those five was; “Give me some head.”
But it got me to thinking about what to call a woman’s vagina. For most men, a woman’s vagina is the entire entity of her, so they say things like “let me eat you out.” (I hope someone sees what I did there.) But unless you’ve got a pet name for it, no man really feels like going outside of the realm of “vagina”. So I asked several women, “What do you call your vagina?” And then I got so many tired ass pet names it started to annoy me; Lil’ [whatever her name is], HoHa, VJJ, Miss It, My Flower, Hello Kitty, etc. I have to admit Hello Kitty kind of was interesting because it reminded of those tiny tees they sell which are in girl’s sizes, but they are in Spencer’s (a store that also sells sex toys) which is downright confusing. I’m still confused as to whether those shirts are for girls or women. Although, I’m pretty sure that those tee shirts are similar to women with no hair on their “HoHa,” how you look at it depends on how old she is, but it’s appropriate at any age.
Point being, none of those words interested me.
It wasn’t until I was at a group function and one of the young ladies was sitting there describing a story and she said it. She said what we had all been thinking, but had all been wondering if it would ever come out of a woman’s mouth. Was it just a word for rough sex used to show ownership, almost like I was talking down to her? As she lead up to it, all the men stopped and stared, closed their mouths as though they were now reading her lips and didn’t need to hear a thing. Her lips glossed, her words slow, yet intentional she said, “I call it, my pussy.”
It moved me…
It sounded so perfect to me, such a turn on. It was nasty, but why was it nasty? It wasn’t crass or tacky, it was perfect. I loved the way the word started and the way it ended. It was right after, “fuck me” and shortly before, “I don’t have any panties on” as the two most favorite things I would like to hear whispered slowly in my ear with candor and purpose. It’s one of those words that you can’t rush, but you can’t say it too long either. It has perfect rhyme and symmetry.
It’s what you call it when we aren’t around, and inside of every man there’s a boy who stood on top of his boy’s shoulders at the vent in the boys’ locker room. He was trying to get inside the girls’ locker room with every bone in his body. All he got was an obstructed view. Sort of like watching the adult channels that were scrambled; you could hear it perfectly and occasionally you saw a breast. When we hear that word it takes us to that excitement, almost as much as the first time we saw one. But this isn’t the first one we saw, this is a mature, grown up, sexy one, it’s your pussy.
So ladies, what do you call your pussy? And men what do you call your cocks? (I’m rather partial to the word cock myself, it’s sounds nastier than dick). Do you judge people for what they call their private parts?