Confession: I have a crush. This is not exactly breaking news, considering that I am rarely without one. But this latest crush is different. I don’t know this person that well, but based on what I do know this person is smart. Funny. A great flirt. Interesting and open-minded. We seem to see eye-to-eye on a lot of important stuff and this person is fucking sexy.
Oh and one more thing – this person is a girl.
It’s no secret to you guys that I’ve always been more than a little bicurious (I blame it on playing “sex” with my best friend when I was 8 years old) but lately the curiosity has progressed to full-on lust. And whereas before my attitude toward girl-on-girl action was that if the opportunity arose I’d be down for it, these days I am dangerously close to actively pursuing it. I’m not sure whether I’m in a crisis situation or on the brink of the greatest moment of my life. If I can figure out how to make it happen, that is.
Since I’ve moved from “yeah I wouldn’t mind if it happened” to “I have to have this girl right now”, my mind has been abuzz with the logistics of such a thing. There are a lot of details to wrap my head around. And so I present to you, my dear readers, the practical considerations of girl-on-girl action.
1. How exactly does one put the moves on a girl?
Beyond the obvious and supreme hotness quotient of popping my girl cherry, getting with a woman is more than a notion. It’s not like getting sex with a man where according to the fools who comment on here even though we know it’s bullshit I can just walk up to him, ask for sex, and get what I want. With girls – or with this girl anyway – it’s going to require some finessing. And that is not exactly an area in which I excel. I am notorious for not making first moves on men and even when I do my “moves” are not all that slick. With a man you can say “are you gonna give me the bum or what?” and he either will or he won’t. But I feel like with a woman I might scare her off.
2. Friend? Stranger? Professional?
What is the ideal level of closeness when you’re getting down and dirty with a girl? On the one hand I think that with a friend there’s a greater comfort level; you might be better able to discuss things before and manage expectations. But then there’s a pretty huge ick factor involved with contemplating licking your homegirl’s coochiesnorter. Which leads me to think that a stranger is better. But then that means you have to have sex with a complete stranger and that’s also kind of icky. I can think of very few things more desperate and thirsty than to put an ad online to find a man to fuck, but is it okay to do it if you’re looking for a girl?
4. Turnabout is fair play right?
There was a time in my life where my policy on girlsex was that if a girl wants to go down on me that’s fine but there is NO WAY I’m going down on her. I’m at the point now though where I think I could probably do it for the right girl. But um, what if I can’t? Is this like with men where you can say “I don’t do that” and the matter is dropped? Is oral a requirement? On The L Word you hardly ever see girls going down on each other; can I get a pass on that if I’m not feeling it?
5. Oh and where is that Cunnilingus 101 Post?
Assuming that I suck it up and get motivated to lick the love below, what is it exactly that I’m meant to be doing down there? Let’s keep in mind that I’m largely anti-receiving oral so this is not one of those “oh just do what feels good to you” type of situations. I feel like I’m going to end up flailing around like a child bobbing for apples at a Hallowe’en party. Which would tarnish my “epic in bed” status that I have worked so hard to maintain. And we can’t have that.
6. With a side of sausage?
Do I need a man on the premises to supervise the operation? In a way that seems smart – that way if I choke on the whole eating nani business at least I have an alternative to offer. On the other hand though I don’t know what man is going to sit there and watch two girls explore unchartered territory and not want to slide in somewhere. And while I am never ever mad at the idea of a penis sliding into a pussy, I’m not sure my first girlfuck is the place I want that to happen.
These are the things I worry about.
So dear readers, do you have any advice for me? Is active pursuit of pussy a good move or is it better to revert to my “if it comes it comes” attitude? Should I get out of my head and go for the gold or are these valid questions I should answer before diving in? I know some of you have been down this road – any advice for me? Men – encourage me by reminding me how fucking hot this would be.