The Switcheroo

the ol switcheroo

So yesterday my blogging boy Lincoln Anthony Blades put up a post about what he calls The Worst Lie Too Many Men Believe. The post basically attempted to dispel the “myth” that any man can get any woman with the right approach. He called bullshit on that theory and I called bullshit on his calling bullshit.

Never one to be thwarted by my irrefutable logic, I suspect that my homie remains unconvinced. So today’s post is dedicated to him and anyone who doesn’t believe that all women are susceptible to jedi mind tricks when they are executed properly; even if the man is a certified grade-A troll.

Allow me to school you on the greatest #swindle known to man: the ol’ switcheroo. Ah, the switcheroo. Every woman I know has fallen for it and most of us can see it coming a mile away and yet we all keep falling for it and you know why? Because the shit works.

The basic premise of the switcheroo is basically for a man to sweat a woman until she begins to sweat him (word to @emti’s mom). Since flattery – especially when it is consistent, extravagant, and largely undeserved –  is a woman’s kryptonite, step one of the switcheroo is simply to gas up the head of your unsuspecting victim.  Keep it asexual though – most women aren’t really all that flattered by the knowledge that you want to fuck her. Instead, find her weak spot and target it – her beauty, her brains, her intelligence, her class. Compare her favourably to women around her who are getting more attention. Whatever angle you decide to take, just keep aiming your blows at that tender spot. She may be resistant at first, maybe she’ll blow you off with a “boy please” or just roll her eyes and keep it moving. But that’s just because she’s afraid to believe that you mean what you’re saying. The more you do it – and the more sincerity you put behind it – the more she’ll like it. And from liking it, she’ll come to expect it, and from expecting it she’ll come to need it.

You know what comes next, right?

Once she comes to need your flattery and attention, you simply withdraw it. Abruptly and nearly completely. If you started out greeting her with a “hey gorgeous”, start greeting her with a generic “what’s up”. If you used to compliment her on how well she coordinated her belt with her shoes, now you don’t even notice that shit. Whatever you were doing before to let her know you were interested, completely stop doing it. But don’t disappear from her life because that is a whole other #swindle. Be around as much as you were, just withdraw all the things you used to do to make her feel special.

Without the sun of your ceaseless attention shining over her, your girl is going to feel lost in the darkness. And what does one do when one is suddenly plunged into blackness? Fumble blindly in the dark looking for the light. So your girl is going to start doing the most to get your attention back. If you were doing all the calling before, she’ll be doing it now. If you were laying the flattery on thick, she’ll be slathering it on with a putty knife now. She is going to try every feeble trick in her arsenal to get your attention back.

And there  you have it. You who were once the ugly dude, the short dude, the broke dude, the fat dude who didn’t stand a chance are now THE dude that she has to have. Or so she thinks. The reality is that all she really wants is your attention; but since women don’t like to admit how much they need flattery, she’ll convince herself that you are the one for her and do everything she can to get you. You might know the truth, but you probably won’t care.

Now let me just end this off by reminding you men that the switcheroo is a bitch-made move and in no way do I advocate executing it. If you have to go through all of this to get a girl to like you, you seriously need to step your entire life up. But the shit works if you do it properly and it really doesn’t matter where you and the object of your campaign reside on the ladder.

But what do you guys think? Men have you ever executed the switcheroo? Do you believe that this tactic can work? Do you think a woman could do this to get a man’s attention? (She can’t – but that’s another post for another day). Ladies have you ever been switcheroo’d? Speak your piece in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 27

  1. i’ve never pulled the switcheroo nor have i had to. i don’t see how this could work in the long run. eventually a woman would smarten up and see dude for whatever he is. also, what about women who already used to compliments. dude’s tactics will be lost on her. i’m still skeptical. i only see this working on a woman who has low self-esteem.

    i do agree with you that a woman could never pull this trick on a man. she would come off as super thirsty and dude would just try to have sex with her.

  2. Rogue Thought says:

    I am going to have to disagree with this one. I’ve had guys shower me with attention and I liked it…a lot. But once the attention was over I moved to the next one. But I know that I like attention. Actually I’d say this is like the previous women can get sex whenever they want argument. If you go on basic attention/sex then you can get it anywhere. But if you want quality attention/sex not any man can pull it off. No matter how confident or persistent the man may be, he’ll just end up being annoying.

  3. Humble_One says:

    I’ve never pulled the Switcheroo. I use to do something similar to the Switcheroo when I was younger. I’m not going to put that much effort into you if I’m not genuinely interested. Guys that pull the Switcheroo know how to play some women. Some men know that women fall for the wow-we-wow. They take advantage of that.

  4. OSHH says:

    That sh*t only works when you are very young and green LOL, it if keeps working on you, then honey you may not be the sharpest mofo or you have esteem issues.

    Some pressed women on the other hand, play the attach yourself to his scrotum, wear him down and wait him out game til he phcuks and usually thats all they get, is phcuked and dismissed. smh

  5. Sam Sharpe says:

    I’m sure this tactic could work on some people but I can’t say it’s anything I’d even think about doing. Like really, I’m going to waste time and energy trying to gas up some lady’s head so I can get in her pants–cause I surely wouldn’t employ that kind of tactic on a woman I truly liked and respected….

    ….it seems like too much work and not enough payoff.

    My question for you max is this, has this happened to you?

  6. Danielle says:

    Everyone to some extent has done the switcheroo. I think it’s just extreme flirting. If you don’t dang the carrot how are you supposed to get and keep the person you want attention? Everyone wants their soft spot touched, their ego stroked, etc… And for people who say no this had never happened to me or I don’t do that, I beg to differ. It’s happened to all of us. It’s the way the game is played. However, if you don’t that person at all to begin with then the switcheroo ‘might’ not work. And I say might because if that person has done their homework and studied you well enough, it’ll work.

    1. OSHH says:

      Is being geniunely interested, thoughful and considerate game?
      That’s the difference and grown folk ought to be able to distinguish someone trying to sice you up and someone sincerely smitten.

      1. Danielle says:

        I don’t think is has anything to grown folk. It’s part of the meet and greet and get to know someone. I believe everyone has ulterior motives. Not to say that they’re all bad. When you see someone you like you try to get in where you fit in. It’s a simple as that. And yeah, I believe it all starts off a game. The catch-me-if-you-can game. Again, maybe it’s just me…I like the chase. And a good mindf*uck.

        1. OSHH says:

          Maybe we have different defintions of game, cause being gamed is not all at something I am interested in. I don’t see someone who may be charismatic and sincere as running game, he is just naturally charming as opposed to someone purposely playing bait and switch.

    2. i still don’t agree. the switcheroo involves purposely not complimenting someone with ulterior motives. i can honestly say that i’ve never done that.

  7. Oxytocin and Endorphins…

    The thing is there will always be a switcheroo. Women can blame chivalry and their approach to courting and dating. A man “chases” (or whatever the f*ck you men want to call it) a woman until she commits to the relationship. Once they start having sex, these two hormones oxytocin and endorphins get involved and get women to acting all crazy. Remember how Nala was mean to Simba back in the day, until what?!?!? The F*cking Endorphins Man!

    I think 99% of the situations i’ve been a part of have started off with me being more into her than she was into me, and then all of sudden it just switches one day. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think attraction and love have different phases. And while at first I was attracted to the fact that she was gorgeous, and then the fact that she allows me to be around her… later I get attracted to the fact that she needs me and is really into me. There’s no feeling like thinking to yourself, “I have no clue why this girl is THIS into me, but it feels great.”

    But the switcheroo.. IMHO has more to do with those two hormones than it has to do with anything he did. Ladies, in the words of Rick Ross, “Keep it trilla.”

    1. OSHH says:

      These are not the same things IMO. What you are speaking on are chemical reactions in the nervous system when folks are attracted to one another and have chemistry. A person can try to compliment relentlessly and I may have no chemical reaction at all ever.

    2. I’m curious, what does, “Keep it trilla.” mean?

  8. this works. i’ve witnessed a lot of dudes pull this off. and it’s been pulled off on me. it retrospective, it doesn’t take that much effort on the guy’s part. if his personality is wired to be that manipulative, he can do without even breaking a sweat.

  9. SaneN85 says:

    “Gosh it disturbs me to see you Gaston…” Yep, that’ll be stuck in my head all day (yes, I do have this on my Zune in case you were wondering).

    Anywho, I think this whole switcheroo falls more into the “want what you can’t have” or “playing hard to get” category. I wanted my ex back (after months of him begging to come back to him) only after this mothasucka appeared to move on (how dare he). I knew deep down that my primary interest in him was simply because I couldn’t have him anymore, yet I still ended up back with him (which completely contradicted that whole not being able to have him thing). What can I say, I was young and stupid. Problem was when I got stuck with him and no longer had that “want him because I can’t have him” feeling.

    I think the same principle applies here, and I don’t really think all the set-up (attention) is even necessary.

    1. Capricorn says:

      I have a whole Disney playlist on my Rhapsody library. And one sub list of villan songs. Drives my co worker crazy.

  10. JusMe says:

    Yes, I’ve been switcheroo’d and it still pisses me the eff off. Especially when we’re not talkin for months at a time and he pops back up with this bullish. I expect it, yet continue to fall for it. Got damn cycle… Bitter, much? lol

  11. Diggame says:

    I don’t agree with this switchroo ideal because in a level playing field a man is always going to be chasing a woman. Just about every aspect of the relationship is predicated on her decision(date, sex, etc.) So to say a man does everything then flips it on her implies a malicious ideal not a man who is truly feeling the chick

  12. Sean Sax says:

    Interesting. I find it funny that when a man tires of trying to tell a woman how much he feels for and is attracted to her, it is considered him “pulling” something on her. As if when we like a woman, we should shower her with compliments and attention for decades on end until she finally decides to come around.

    I know many like to think that we don’t but men have feelings too (“Tito, pass me a tissue”) It’s not a “Switcheroo” or something crazy like that. It’s just called being tired of rejection, giving up trying and moving on. Or is it only considered this if it’s a woman giving up on showing a man attention?

    If a person feels better quantifiying it as having someone pulled a “switcheroo” on them as opposed to the fact that THEY may have slept on a suitor who they failed to realize might have been right for them, that’s their option.

    I just think they end up taking the wrong lesson from the whole experience.

  13. Wait, How Does This Refute What I Wrote??

    My Thesis Is That Every Man In The World Doesn’t Have A Legitimate Shot With Every Woman On This Earth No Matter How Advantageous Or “Perfect” The Situation Is…There Are People That Will Turn You Off Regardless Of The Outside Variables Affecting The Way They Approach You..

    This Method Works…IF She Has Established Some Level Of Attraction To You…I Dare You To Look Like Baloo From Talespin And See If You Don’t Get Boxed..

  14. I’m not sure this also called a mindfuck. If it is, I’m a fan & I’m not a fan. In the wrong hands, a person with little to no self esteem or just plain cruel (not in a good way) can run a game on a person that will have them second guessing themselves and everything they do. In the right hands…well, let’s just say it’s a beautiful thing.

  15. Starita34 says:


    Fellas, this ish don’t work. Don’t try it. Try being a genuine, nice, respectable guy. Max is just high on her new found love of Jazmine Cashmere. Girl’s nose is wide open.

  16. Maybe not any woman.. but if circumstances are right..

  17. davidruffin83 says:

    That sh*t don’t work. See the disconnect here is that dudes will be tryin to use this strategy on dimes. Ain’t happening foks. What’s a few compliments from your wack @ss when this chick is harrased all day every day? This strategy could probably work on something more in the 5-6 range but who wants to work that hard for something so average there’s probably 10 equivalents within a 20 foot radius? Just get one of them instead and save yourself the time and trouble.

    1. davidruffin83 says:

      TYPO! *folks*

  18. Shash says:

    This works. I read Lincoln’s article and I disagree with him as well. Any guy can get any girl because of the ability for a woman to look past certain things. If I had the opportunity to be around Keri Hilson enough i’m pretty sure I could grab her up.

    Switcharoo works wonders. If there are other women you can fan attention on that are near the original subject, the whole process goes on fast forward. I know guys who’ve been able to have sex with groups of friends of this tactic. Max is the truth.

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