The Men Weigh In


So! Last week was quite interesting over here, wasn’t it?

First we dug deep into the issue of whether it’s easier for men or women to get sex on demand. Then after I did an experiment proving that it is not as easy for women to get sex as men think it is, we had quite another spirited debate.

Never ones to let me be right about anything, two of my least favourite male commenters decided to conduct similar experiments of their own to prove….well I’m not quite too sure what exactly they were trying to prove. I guess that men cannot get sex any time they want, which changes absolutely nothing about the results of my test last week. They both wrote about their experiments, let’s take a look, shall we?

First up, fan favourite Sam Sharpe.

We know what the ladies think. We know what the gents think. We also know the results of Max’s experiment. Well, in the spirit of gender equality and following Max’s glorious path, I conducted my own experiment.  Here are the parameters:

-All of the women had to live in Toronto
-None of them could be in a relationship
-They all had to be straight and none of them could be virgins
-They had to be women that were unlikely to have read yesterday’s post (can’t have anyone fucking me just to prove a point)
-I’ve already slept with four of the five women at some point.

Now, unlike Max I couldn’t send them all the same message. I know each of these women relatively well and trust me when I say I have to approach each one differently (I think this further illustrates that you ladies have it easier). WARNING: Please excuse the lameness of the messages I sent. I couldn’t come up with anything good. Anyway here’s what happened.

Subject #1: Codename – Pipes
Stats: Former co-worker. Flirted hard. Really hard during our time as colleagues. On one occasion she drunkenly propositioned me at the company Christmas party. We went out for drinks on another occasion. She subsequently told me “the ball is in your court”. We have mutual friends, so I see her fairly regularly.

Message: Hey, Free tonight? Come by and have a few drinks. Sent at 6:45pm.
No response as of 11:30pm.

Subject #2: Codename – Old Yeller
Stats: Another former co-worker. We had an intense but short-lived fling back in the day. We keep in touch.
Message: What’s up? Want to hang out tonight? Play a little PS3 (note: PS3 was our code for sex). Sent at 6:50pm
Response: (received at 6:53pm) Sure but only if you come to my place.

Subject #3: Codename – Poison (think big butt and a smile)
Stats: Friend of a friend. Former friend with benefits.
Message: Are you free to rendez vous ce soir? Sent at 6:43pm
Response: (received at 10:15pm) No thank you.

Subject #4: Codename – Doctor Doctor
Stats: Long time friend. We dated for a brief period but went back to being friends. Really busy in her professional life, doesn’t have much time for the personal. Based on recent conversations we’ve had and things I’ve heard through the grapevine, she wouldn’t mind having a dial-a-dick but would rather be in a relationship. She recently texted me asking to hang out but I had yet to get back to her.
Message: Drinks and more tonight. Are you free and interested? Sent at 6:55pm
Response: (received at 7:00pm) Hey Sam – I think you sent me this txt in error. have a good night! Lol.

Subject #5: Codename – The Bookmark
Stats: We’ve got this on/off thing going. She’s really busy, really focused on her career. We spend a lot of time together in spurts and then won’t see each other for weeks or more.
Message: I think you should come over and spend some naked time with me. Sent at 6:46pm
Response: (received at 7:00pm) Come here instead.


In the end, I didn’t end up getting any pum. Partially because the responses were lukewarm and partially because there was no way in hell I was leaving my apartment last night. I must admit that the ladies responded more favourably than I expected. Still. I only received two conditional yeses, whereas Max received three. Either way, I don’t think the results of my experiments or the results of Max’s experiments swayed opinions in any significant way.

Next up, the Mad Scientist himself:

In a nutshell Max wrote a self-fulfilling post attempting to explain why women can’t get sex anytime they want. Of course the men who commented called her on her bull$hit and the women co-signed her to no end. I felt if you looked at the sex on the simplest level (void of emotions and social stigma) women could easily get sex way easier than men. My logic is at the end of the day its women who decide if sex takes place, not the other way around.

In order to prove her point Max decided to conduct a social experiment. She offered sex to 5 men to see who was right or wrong in the debate. I decided to conduct my own social experiment using a similar platform. I say a similar platform and not the exact because a few variables have been added.

  1. I live in Nashville, not Toronto
  2. I conducted the experiment on a Friday night as opposed to a Wednesday night (it’s been my experience that people are more prone to participate in their carnal desires during the weekend).
  3. I’m pretty sure one of the women I would text would have read Max’s post prior.

So let’s get into it [||]. Here are my subjects:

A. Codename: Mary
Back Story: Mary is a doctor I met a couple years back. We never slept together but came close a couple of times. Things just fizzled out but I see her around every now and then. She probably thinks I’m an asshole who only wanted sex. Really wasn’t the case.

B. Codename: Lauren
Back Story: Lauren is a friend that I met through another friend. Another woman who I never had sex with but came close a couple times. We are better served as just friends now but I think there is still some type of sexual tension between us.

C. Codename: Jazmine
Back Story: Jazmine and I had instant sexual tension when we first met. We ended up sleeping together over the course of a couple months on a No Strings Attached relationship. She got tired of our arrangement and now we’re just cool now. No sex involved.

D. Codename: Rachel
Back Story: I met Rachel at some club about 3 years ago. She approached me because we all know that I don’t approach strangers. Either way we hung out a couple of times but we’re still cool. I see her out and about occasionally.

E. Codename: Janet
Back Story: I met Janet years ago and we’ve been friends since. We used to have a sexual relationship but I put an end to that. She still calls me from time to time.

Now that we have the subjects, here is the text that I sent out at 6:34pm:
“So its been a while since I’ve gotten any. What are you doing tonight?”

First response comes from Mary at 6:35pm:
Mary: ?????
Me: Its Tunde
Mary: I’m trying to figure out what u talking bout
Me: I thought it was pretty straight forward
Mary: So why the hell r u texting me?
One win for the fellas.

Next response comes from Lauren at 6:35pm:

Lauren: Wth? Lol Tunde, you know this is Lauren, right?
Me: Yep
Lauren: Did you mean to text me that?
Me: Yes
Lauren: You drunk? Lol
Me: Nope. Not in the least bit
Lauren: Then WTH?! Lol
Me: Nothing. Nevermind

Two wins for the fellas. At this point I’m like “Yeah. I told you so Max.”

Phone vibrates. Next response is from Janet at 6:36pm:
Janet: Sorry…I’m on my way to Atl. Today is my bday
Me: Oh ok. Have fun!

This is inconclusive data at best.

6:44pm, text from Rachel:
Rachel: Wrong Number
Me: (looking at my phone) o_0

3 out of 3 so far (throwing out Janet since she was out of town)

At this point I’m thinking that Jazmine is not going to respond at all. 7:21pm and my phone vibrates:

Jazmine: Nice blog today. Brought back some memories. [Author’s note: She was referring to my post from 1/14 No Strings Attached]
Me: Thanks
Jazmine: Guessing that’s what motivated that text
Me: Perhaps
Jazmine: We had a good thing going lots of fun. The one and only time I ever did something like that. I think about it from time to time actually. Completely out of character…But I’m seeing someone right now so it wouldn’t be right.
Me: I understand. We’ll always have our memories.

So as far as my social experiment I was 0 for 4. Out of that 4 only one didn’t hit me with a negative response. I think that based on this small sample sized experiment we can conclude that it is indeed easier for women to have sex whenever they want when compared to men.

So what say you? How can you deny facts? Women are you ready to admit that you were wrong?

First. Let me heave an enormous sigh. At these two. Second let me say that whether it was easy or not for these two fools to get sex has absolutely no bearing on whether it’s easy for a woman or whether I could have gotten sex from the men I contacted. All it proves it that these two can’t get sex on demand any more easily than I could.

At the end of the day I think what we can all take away from this madness is that it’s not easy for anyone to get sex when they want it. But what say you all? Do you feel as though the men proved the women wrong? See any flaws in the men’s experiments? Did your original opinion change after these posts? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 44

  1. keisha brown says:

    I got no comment. The results were the same.
    If women could get it easier..then wouldn’t they have said yes since it was being offered on a silver platter?
    I’m NFL’d out..maybe I’ll have more in the morning… SMH

  2. Cheekie says:

    “See any flaws in the men’s experiments?”

    I’m thinkin we should see the same flaws they saw in yours. 😉

  3. Starita34 says:


    Sam, my love, my betrothed, my saucy little stallion, my dirty dick swinger – you posited nothing to disprove Maxie’s point. If anything you showed how easy it is for you as a man to obtain sex (which has nothing to do with the original hypothesis, but does go against many of the comments made). Two said “YES! Come OOOON over!” and I bet were salty as EFFF that you never came through, however typical that this is.

    Ok, they asked you to come over to their place, but they said yes. To sex. THAT night. Max’s emergency dicks said, “meh, another night maybe” (and we know how some men love to lie, “another night” as an answer to sex may as well be a “no way lady, not even with my cousin’s dick!” Even if you do ever come through it’ll be WAY too late).

    Knowing Max as I do, I can GUARAN-DAMN-TEE you that had one of her dicks in the glass said, sure swing by my place, she woulda been there with bells on her nipples and a song in her heart. What’s with the “it doesn’t count unless she comes to me”??

    Props for using “The Bookmark” I see what you did there…


    Tunde, Mad Scientist, Mr Colgate Smile himself, curer of cancer, judger of avi’s, slayer of hearts-life is not conducted in a lab, nor on a petri dish, or in a vacuum; you can not look “at the sex on the simplest level (void of emotions and social stigma)” because that is not real life. And we’re talking about real life.

    That text though??? Really? Talk about self sabotage! Make the woman feel like a ho much? Nothing says, “Well I guess you’ll do” like “it’s been a long time, wanna eff me?”

    Moving past that…what’s up with “Nothing. Nevermind.” to Lauren? I know you’d like to ignore the social stigmas, but you just can not. She was “lol”ing her ass off, the girl was flirting, she just needed to be sure this wasn’t some kind of cruel joke before she said, “hell yeah give me a minute to put some clothes on”…you pulled out too early on that one (pause).

    Janet was a lock, Janet wants her some Tunde Snacks, too bad she was out of town. But that ish happens, you shouldn’t have eliminated her, that counts. People aren’t always available, it’s a variable.

    Aww, Tunde being all “we’ll always have our memories”…that my friend is called bookmarking, lol. When you and that dude don’t work out…Tunde’s here for ya babe.

    FYI: by your descriptions, it’s obvious that “Lauren” is the one that reads this blog. (I wrote this before I read that “Jaz” reads your blog…I may be wrong on this one-see I can be wrong) :-p

    Oh Max, you KNOW we see flaws in their experiments. Like for one, they have NOTHING to do with the ease of WOMEN getting sex; and two Sam got two actual offers for sex; and three Tunde coulda hit Lauren with a smidge more persistence. But I’m super happy that they did the experiments…great blog material.

    “Easy” is obviously a relative term. I honestly don’t think that in this society it’s “hard” for anyone to get sex. But I also don’t think that many people can get sex on demand. People, men and women, have lives to live and can’t be on call for throwdowns all the time.

    1. first i’m dying at your description of me. lolol

      “Moving past that…what’s up with “Nothing. Nevermind.” to Lauren?”

      if i’m not mistaken max had the opportunity to take it further with one her dudes. when he was like “too late for what?” didn’t she say never mind as well? the double standards run rampant.

      janet may have been a lock but she wasn’t available when i wanted sex so she doesn’t count. if i’m not mistaken the key was to have sex that night. she wasn’t in town so my dick was dry.

      actually i wouldn’t doubt it if all of them read my blog. part of the reason why i don’t blog about anything too personal. i’m about to stop giving a f*ck and just go in though. *shrug*

      1. Starita34 says:

        Maxie’s “nevermind” came after the man had already said no to sex tonight (he suggested tomorrow).

        “actually i wouldn’t doubt it if all of them read my blog. part of the reason why i don’t blog about anything too personal. i’m about to stop giving a f*ck and just go in though. *shrug*”

        You’d be surprised how much we can take…they’ll definitely be taken back by some of the things that you say, but they’ll most certainly look past them and probably respect you more as a man after you speak your mind. We’re masochists that way. At least I am, I’d rather hear the ugly truth than a pretty lie.

    2. Ashley says:

      Yea, there was definitely some self sabatoge going on…first of all, if you already thought that Mary saw you as some asshole who only wanted sex, then why the hell would you think she would respond favorably to “So its been a while since I’ve gotten any. What are you doing tonight?”?? Oh thats right, you knew she wouldnt, which is probably why you used her.

      I mean, it probably is a little (keyword: little) easier for women to get on demand sex, but if you’re gonna do an experiment, do it right. lol

  4. Lidia-Anain says:

    Oh, the fuckery I missed last week while I was snowboarding! I must go back and read these posts and all the comments. As far as the men proving anything – um, no! Two obvious yes responses although conditional were still positive. The second experiment should be voided b/c of the text that was sent to clearly get NOs. I think our ability to get casual sex is equal but the stigma of it falls heavier on the women. =(

  5. Humble_One says:

    As you can see from what the men attempted we don’t have it easy. You can also see how the women cursed and laughed at the men. 3 men tried and they all failed. I wonder if 3 women conducted the same experiment would the outcome be the same? I seriously doubt it.

    1. ChloeRayne516 says:

      The argument was never about men having it easier.. It was woman NOT having easier as well and the men all yelled HorseSh*t!!!

      The only thing I saw proof of based on Mad’s and Sam’s scenarios was that NO BODY HAS IT EASY WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING BEDDED WHEN THEY WANT…

      Just like Sam, she had peen on call but with stipulations (raincheck, running late) Mad had a couple of victims as well but with stipulations (they wanted him to come to them)


      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        Oh damn!!! Ciroc still in my system.

        I meant to say like Max she had peen on call and Sam’s scenarios not Mad’s


  6. LaLaBakir says:

    Nice try fellas. I’d like to take the stance that its difficult for both sexes to ge sex on demand.

    And I agree w/ Star…Tu that text couldv’e been a bit more graceful. I think you purposefully sabotaged your experiment,lol

    1. max says:

      Tunde’s text was just….complete bullshit. Even I wouldn’t have said yes to that. That was complete sabotage.
      And I’m not buying his excuse that he asked for help drafting it and didn’t get any. I didn’t get help either and I still managed to come up with something better than that!

      1. i thought women liked it when you’re direct with them. no? *shrug*

        1. LaLaBakir says:

          Direct doesn’t mean it has to be in your face, slightly harsh.

          Sam was direct, but used a code term w/ one of the ladies. It was funny. Funny is good.

          You couldve been direct w/o speaking like you would…well to a man.

        2. max says:

          Your text was so completely self-serving as to be offensive. “it’s been a while since I’ve gotten any” sounds like come over here and do your thing til I get my nut and then bounce.

  7. Sam Sharpe says:

    Ladies, especially you Starita34, how dare you question our integrity. I am certain the Mad Scientist and I approached our tasks with nothing but the purest motives…..

    …I really don’t see how 2 saying yes to me trumps THREE saying yes to Max….but I guess in the calculus of male – female relationships you ladies are rocking some new math where 1 + 1 really does equal 3.

    Actually, there are likely some mitigating factors here. In max’s case I’m figuring these guys (like most guys would be in this situation) doubted the sincerity/veracity of max’s texts. Why? Sh** like this just doesn’t happen to us. EVER. In my case, those ladies aren’t strangers and like everyone who knows me likely understood that I don’t leave my house during cold-ass Toronto winters for nuthin’. I’m serious. So maybe, just maybe max’s boys and my girls were trying to hedge their bets; not saying no outright but nor making the sex readily available either…

    ….I just finished typing that and now I might be calling partial bullshit on myself. Regardless y’all women are crazy if you think you don’t have it easier.

    1. max says:

      See this is why I’m calling bullshit on you.
      I got one “can’t do it”, one “nice try”, one “tomorrow”, one who didn’t respond at all, and one who said he was coming and didn’t.
      Where’s the 3 who said yes?

      1. Starita34 says:

        YES Max! Why do they keep saying you got yeses? These were men you actually wanted to have sex with, if a yes were said, sex would’ve been had!

        Also Sam, regarding “I guess in the calculus of male – female relationships you ladies are rocking some new math where 1 + 1 really does equal 3.” we create life, it’s what we do, with us 1+1 really does equal 3. Boo-yah.

        1. Sam Sharpe says:

          I love how your mind works. When are we gonna do our own math and have babies?

          1. Starita34 says:

            I’m planning to visit Toronto around May of 2011 (that’s around Caribana, yes?) – get your papers, we can make this thing official 😉

            1. The parade is July 30th.. the weekend surrounding it will be what you’re aiming for.

            2. Starita34 says:

              Thank you madam. 🙂

  8. in the comments on the two previous blogs it was debated that in fact that men could get sex just as easy as men. when max conducted her experiment it was flawed because although nothing about men getting sex any easier was stated in her original blog it was debated time and time again in the comments section. the only to effectively answer that question was for a man to conduct a similar experiment.

    i don’t think i deliberately set myself up for failure with the manner of my text message. i asked for a woman to draft a text message for me to send out. no one did so i sent out something that was direct and to the point.

  9. emti says:

    when did this become a debate over who has it easier…i thought it was about the fact that women don’t have it easy?


    1. go back and read over the comments section of the two previous posts that lead to this one.

      1. max says:

        Right but both my original post and the experiment were only meant to illustrate that it’s not as easy for a woman as men might think. The intention was never to imply that I as a woman have any idea how easy it is or is not for a man. That’s not my place to say. Just like it’s not a man’s place to say how easy it is or is not for a woman.

        1. emti says:

          *ding ding ding*

  10. MeteorMan says:

    Here’s the disconnect: The women here seem to looking at this and comparing the ‘bottom line’ figures: no sex for anyone. and saying both Men and women equally have a hard time obtaining sex. Here’s the hole in their argument: peep the reactions of the men Max propositioned verses how the women Tunde proposition reacted. All Max has to do is follow-up and get sex faster while Tunde has to start over and find a new line up. Therefore, it’s easier for Max to obtain sex. The measure of difficulty was never measured by how many people show up at your door. It’s measured by how many realistic opportunities you have. Howe many does Max have? How many does Tunde have?


    1. max says:

      The measure for success for the experiment though was sex. Not the possibility of sex. I didn’t get any more sex than Tunde or Sam did therefore I think it’s a draw.

      1. MeteorMan says:

        I disagree. Both experiments relied on previous connections between the experimenters and the subjects therefore, “rain-checks” and rescheduling would be normal behavior under the circumstances that sex was desired yet schedules were hindering. The subjects and experimenters always have the option of rescheduling or ‘setting it up for later’ so why wouldn’t it count now? Such behavior is falls within the normal parameters in everyday life. And I’m sure the point of the experiments were to give some insight on everyday life. Max, I think I got you on this. Admit we are right and I’ll spare you the proof in celebration of MLK day. #checkmatein2moves

        1. max says:

          I will admit no such thing. My orginal contention was that women can’t get sex any time we want. So if I say I want sex tonight and you give it to me tomorrow, I didn’t get it when I wanted it. I got it when it worked for you.

          1. keisha brown says:

            I will admit no such thing. My orginal contention was that women can’t get sex any time we want. So if I say I want sex tonight and you give it to me tomorrow, I didn’t get it when I wanted it. I got it when it worked for you.


            why do we keep going around in circles about this? like now im just confused.

            max made a statement
            men refuted said statement/call bullship on women’s experiences
            max conducted an experiment to substantiate said statement
            conclusion drawn based on said experiment (invite to 5 dudes did not equal sex)
            men refute findings and try to add caveats and other variables after the fact/call bullship
            men conduct their own experiment
            men do not get sex either
            women are not allowed to refute findings of men’s experiment/call bullship on men?

          2. MeteorMan says:

            You know what Max… I have a proof and all. But if I typed it, what would we gain? It’ll just prove that Tunde’s and Sam’s sex lives in the US are in worse situations than yours in Toronto. I think that’ll do them more of a disservice than anything else. LOL I concede. You are right.

            1. max says:

              MeteorMan if I could find you I would slap the shit out of you for this comment. I swear I would.
              And for the record Sam lives in Toronto too.

  11. ChloeRayne516 says:

    Mad’s booty call text murked my heart..

    Dude!!!!!! You could have at least pertended to come across as if you weren’t only out just to get your schlong wet and saucy. *smhl*

  12. The fact that this is still being argued about is hilarious. The proof is in the non-existant sex! Nobody got any.. though I would say that Max & Sam had similar set-ups because Mr. Scientist.. that text was 18 kinds of wack. My eyes actually got a bit wide when I read it.

    Bottom line: You can’t always get what you want WHEN you want it.

    That is all.

  13. SaneN85 says:

    I’m wondering how the guys have been calling BS after the fact on the experiment that THEY basically suggested and set the conditions for. Umm, okay.

    As for my dear Tunde’s text, he’s lucky those are the only responses he received. There’s no way a woman would respond in a positive way to that text. I’d go so far as to say most men would feel some kind of way about a text with that wording being sent to them.

  14. Blackbuttafly says:

    So I think I’ve figured it out.

    Me…when i want sex. I get all aggressive and direct. Men like that cuz it’s speaking their language.

    When they want sex and they use the exact same tactic, you better hope I’m in the mood for it cuz otherwise your going to get a some cold shoulder answers from me.

    And therein lies the problem. We women are too sometimish. Not that we didn’t know that, but thats what the problem with this experiment is.

    I bet if it was summer, especially in Toronto, we’d have better results too.

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