Oh Baby I Like It Rough


[dropcap]A[/dropcap] couple of nights ago, armed with my new laptop and a blessedly empty apartment, I settled down to watch some porn.

After digging around in some of the sites in my favourites, I ended up watching a video in which two women fucked the dogshit out of each other took turns with a strap-on dick. The women weren’t hot at all, the video quality was poor at best, but that video was up there with one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in my life. Notwithstanding the fact that girl-on-girl action is always a win (and after recently having the opportunity to experience the singular joy of wearing one, just seeing a strap-on gets my motor revving) , the way these women were just…brutalizing each other was extremely moving to say the least. They were pulling hair, squeezing titties, spanking asses, and ripping every stitch of clothing off each other. And let me just say this: when it was over my nails were well and truly painted.

Now I’m sure this is not the case for many people, but I’m not particularly enthralled with watching porn that features activities that I wouldn’t care to participate in in real life. So suffice it to say that everything that happened in that video is everything I need in my life right now got the Max Seal of Approval.

My name is Max and I like it rough.

Which is not to say that I can’t enjoy coitus if it doesn’t involve corporal punishment. I recognize the possibility of having great sex that doesn’t leave red marks and there are some definite advantages to not having your clothes ripped to shreds because that can get expensive. But when it comes to roughness during sex, my policy has always been more is more. If you have a free hand you might as well use it to pull my hair. Otherwise you’re just being wasteful.

I’ve always thought of roughness as being the great equalizer of sexuality. From spanking to choking to face-slapping to donkey punches, from hair-pulling to BDSM to walking out of there questioning your morals, there is a dish on the buffet of rough sex to satisfy anyone’s palate.  I don’t think I know a single person who doesn’t think that sex is always better with a little violence thrown in. It’s like salt – everything tastes better with a dash of salt.

It does make me wonder though why rough sex is so good. Why do women – who so often wish that men would tread just a little more lightly with us in our daily lives – so enjoy being manhandled once our clothes come off? Why does having our nipples pinched until we cry out feel so much better than having them stroked like a swatch of delicate fabric? Do we internalize it as a testament to our desirability – as in the man is so attracted to us that he’s lost all his self-possession? Is it a self-esteem issue – we don’t value ourselves enough to think that we deserve to be handled gently? Or is it some kind of physiological equation – stimulation of erogenous zone + force = heightened pleasure?

And as for men – why do you like to rough us up so much? Is it some kind of payback for the way we attempt to emasculate you in our daily lives? Do you listen to too many songs like Wildflower and Stapleton Sex? Or does the increased testosterone just make you lose all sense of decorum?

These are the things I wonder about sometimes. Although to be perfectly honest I don’t know how much I care to know the answers. In fact, I kind of think knowing why I like rough sex so much might take a bit of the sheen off of it. Actually – no that’s not true. Nothing could take the sheen off it. Rough sex gives life!

But what do you guys think? Do any of you out there not appreciate a little brutality in the bedroom? Why do you think we like it? And how rough is too rough for you? It’s Friday, you know what we do: overshare.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 109

  1. Rogue Thought says:

    If it leaves you in a coma or worse…I think it was a tab bit too rough.

  2. this post right here! delicate, slow deep stroking sex where you’re looking in each others eyes is cool every now and then but sometimes i just want to bend her ass over and put in some real work. and there’s nothing saying that she can’t be rough either. shit have your way. matter of fact i encourage it. good post maxie.

  3. Kim says:

    This post is so full of win.

    I find it odd that so many women can’t stand to be real about their sexual desires with themselves or their partners. When it comes to sex, if you’re not getting what you want out of it, then what’s the point?

    Liking it rough isn’t weird and it’s not unladylike. We’re just so used to the BS patriarchal (yes, I took it there) expectation of total submission that anything outside of that gets stigmatized.

    I consider myself an alpha female, and I’ve found that a lot of us like to be dominated behind closed doors. I’m sure there’s some psychological reasoning behind it, but I’m not qualified to go into all that.

    It feels good. End of story.

    1. Alovelydai says:

      “I consider myself an alpha female, and I’ve found that a lot of us like to be dominated behind closed doors.”

      This statement says it. Most women run things. We’re boss chicks at work or working for ourselves, we manage most of the households & are usually the primary caregivers. Once I get behind closed doors I don’t want to plan, think, or manage a goddamn thing.

  4. Blackbuttafly says:

    Forseriously Max. Are you that woman walking around Toronto that is my twin? Lol

    I find that I like being roughed up waaaaay better than being made love to. But that could be because I don’t think that anyone who professed their love to me while sexing me and down actually did in fact love me. Plus I think rough sex makes me less vulnerable because 8/10, I’m the one who initiates the roughness.

    I’ve sooooo wanted to wear a strap on just to feel the power of dick and lord it over some woman, even though I don’t find myself attracted to women at all. Hmmmm link to above mentioned video pls?

    1. max says:

      Oooh rough sex makes you less vulnerable?
      I think you may have just pinpointed our pathology with that one.

      1. Blackbuttafly says:

        Having rough sex allows me to be devoid of any warm and fuzzy emotion. It allows me to just have sex and not get all caught up in the person and just in the sex.

        At first , I had hard time separating the 2 because my mama didn’t teach me ( or maybe she didn’t know) the difference between the 2. I learned the hard way that sex and making love are 2 very different things. So being the extreme person that I am, I encouraged sex because it made me feel less vulnerable.

        I’m working on the balance now and choosing not to have sex with anyone unless I’m in a committed relationship, cuz truth be told, I want to be vulnerable again…just with someone who I know ( not feel) genuinely cares for me.

  5. MeteorMan says:

    You know what… Those petite ladies actually aren’t that easy to break. #boomboomroom

    If you have a free hand you might as well use it to pull my hair. Otherwise you’re just being wasteful.

    Spoken with true Max logic. You would be the one to ask a dude: “What’s wrong wit your hand?” LOL

  6. Starita34 says:

    I want my ass smacked; legs wide
    Front, back; Side to side
    Pucci wet; Slip ‘n’ slide
    Yep! Everything gon’ be. all. right.

    But I draw the line at donkey punches.

    Outside of that, game on. Little is better than a talkative, controlling, really rough man. MC Lyte. Give me orders, tell me what it feels like, if I don’t answer, do the “huh? tell me! I’m talking to you woman!” WHY do I love being called “woman” so much? Don’t know, don’t care, but do that! With a chunk of my hair wrapped around your wrist telling me how you been waiting for this and what you’re going to do to me as you pop the ish outta my ass…if you’re not leaving marks on my pale self, you’re not trying hard enough. I need to be down right sore then next day for the job to be done properly.

    Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die…and I’m cool with that.

    1. Alovelydai says:

      “But I draw the line at donkey punches.”

      Um…please elaborate. Sharing is caring.

      1. Starita34 says:

        Right before climax in the doggy style position, he punches you at the base of your skull – supposed to intensify ish. O_O

        If you count me castrating him after I wake up from my near death coma induced by him puncturing my spine as “intensifying” then yeah, I guess. But I’d advise any man of mine not to test the theory.

        Miss me with that ish.

    2. Sam Sharpe says:

      Yes. Everything you just said. Does that come with a side of breakfast in bed b/c if it does we can skip the formalities and walk down that aisle asap…..

      1. max says:

        Don’t all women serve breakfast in bed the morning after?

        1. ChloeRayne516 says:

          Ummmm. NOPE.

        2. Starita34 says:

          When I’m well fed *ahem*morning head*cough* he’ll be well fed…

          How’s April for you Sam?

  7. Sam Sharpe says:

    This post right here is how every Friday should get started….I’m all for a lady who carries herself with style and grace, but when the lights go off or the clothes drop….

    ….I was with a girl once who was only interested in being “caressed gently and delicately like a flower”. Emphasis on the once.

    …I swear another girl almost broke my leg while we were f***ing. Not joking. May have been the best partner ever.

  8. Mel says:

    Rougher the better. I like being dominated. Makes me feel like I’m with a MAN and that’s a turn on. If I can feel the effects of the night before the next day, that means it was a good night.

    1. Starita34 says:

      Exactly. I’m not sure it’s about self esteem or control issues, it’s about a MAN being a MAN. At the most primal level, being aggressive, and rough, and hungry. Taking what he wants, being in control. Of course, it’s circular, cause him taking me like that makes me feel so wanted, needed, irresistible-as if, even if he tried he couldn’t help but to rip my clothes off and drill me til the geyser bursts.

      Yeah, once again, who cares why, just sign me up for more please.

  9. ChloeRayne516 says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE All of this!!!

    Yes grant it at times I enjoy the sensual soft caress with kisses and slow gentle deep strokes while making goo goo eyes and all of that and then there are times I demand to be treated like a prostitute, I’m all yours for the taking baby, you have anyway you like.


    Question: What the hell is a donkey punch?

    1. max says:

      The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better

      1. Kema says:

        Wow! You learn something everyday!

      2. ChloeRayne516 says:


        nahhh. I’m good, Miss me with that!!!!

      3. Starita34 says:

        I was not aware that it was specifically for anal sex…

        *shooting star* the more you know….

  10. LaLaBakir says:

    I’m w/ Star. I don’t know about donkey punches. I assume that would leave visible bruises. And I’m too cute to walk around w/ black eyes and such. Slap on the tush…cool. Destroying the panties…aight. Subtle choking….niiiice. Punching…get it outta here.

    I think the desire to have it rough (for women) may be from the desire to submit. Submitting to his strength. I like to know that a man is stronger than me, and the bedroom is the perfect place to exhibit that.

    With that said, I will now go watch Breezy’s “Take You Down” video as I imagine him pinning me up against the wall and choking me ever so slightly. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonnna do.


    1. Starita34 says:

      THIS –> “Subtle choking….niiiice” as I went to bed fantasizing I realized I’d left that part out…

      Good looking out sis.

      1. LaLaBakir says:

        You’re welcome my dear *bows*

  11. Melissa says:

    I like it rough. Getting choked makes me want to go harder. I have a high pain tolerance (my laser lady even says so) and too much pride to give in, so I like to take as much as I can.

    1. Starita34 says:

      And the words “you take it like a champ” are like music to my ears…

  12. Suki says:

    Never thought I’d see someone else agree with donkey punching. Good shit. Everyone deserves to be handled gently but like you said, a little salt is always great. I approve this post lol.

      1. Suki says:

        I actually quit that. Lol surprisingly. New leaf. O:-)

        1. LaLaBakir says:

          We don’t believe you, you need more people! :p

  13. Rough sex was an acquired skill for me.

    I think people like rough sex because it’s taboo. We’re attracted to stuff like that. It’s like sex is already carnal, so if you’re going to be in that situation you want to pull all the stops out within reason. I think rough sex is like speeding. Everyone does it to the point that it’s not seen as breaking the law anymore. You know I love lists on Fridays…

    Rough sex – Speeding
    Anal sex – DUI, new stats show that 46% of people between the ages of 18-46 have tired it. That’s like a driving drunk, keep in mind, not everyone gets caught.
    Ex sex – Shoplifting, you’ve stole something before and not paid for it, even if it was teh pen.
    Cheating sex – Armed robbery, you’re hot mess status and out there in the wrong.
    Bondage – Assault, but hey sometimes you just have to slap-a-bitch.
    DP – Double homicide in the first degree, there’s no way you can have a two men filling up both holes and think that’s okay, NO WAY. Plus those two men are too close, the wall between the two is as thin as chicken skin.

    1. Kema says:

      I feel you on the DP. I dont think it would be possible to respect myself after that. lol!

      However unlike Max, I tend to like watching stuff on porn that I would never do. DP, Gangbangs, bukkake, midgets…

      1. as far as pron i think i mix it up. stuff i would do (threesomes, amateur, rough sex, interracial) and things i would never do while sober (group sex, midget, bbw, lesbian).

        1. ChloeRayne516 says:

          What is it about mens curiousity with midgets all of a sudden??

          1. Makes no sense why guys want to sleep with midgets, but it does. It’s just like odd. When you meet one in a strip club it’s like… wait there’s a chance that I could f*ck a midget!!! People have to realize that a lot of men do things just because of the story. Like Debbie does Dallas is a pretty epic story… Midget sex is a close second.

            1. ChloeRayne516 says:

              Wowww. Okay.. o__o


              Competiton for a position in 2011 just got taken up a notch.

              First we had to compete with 2520’s, Selena Gomez’s, (no offense to anyone) chicks that swallow Orally and Anally and now we got to worry about midgets.


              1. MeteorMan says:

                You don’t swallow? Not even every once in a while? #youlost Yeah, that sounds about right. LOL

                1. honestly not every woman swallows. i can only think of 4 times where my nut entered a woman’s mouth and swallowing? ummm

                  1. ChloeRayne516 says:

                    Thank You!!!!


                    He acting like every woman just be opening up and saying *Aahhhh.* #TreySongz


                    1. yep. now i wish because even in the confines of a relationship i couldn’t get her too. i’m wondering if this is something that’s coached or if some women just really like this. max, you should do this topic next friday 😉

                    2. Adonis says:

                      Swallowing is an expectation for the women in my bed… especially when I am giving her my all… That is a small price to pay, for enjoy me…

                  2. Kema says:

                    Some women are allergic to the tadpoles.

                2. ChloeRayne516 says:

                  While I was wifed down, yes I did a few times, but a girl just can’t be swallowing just anybody kids in this day and age. I’m sorry. #bbmtalk2thehand

                  1. MeteorMan says:

                    LOL. Relax. I wasn’t implying that your theme song should be Say Ahh. When a woman says “I don’t _____” I assume it means that doesn’t ______-> period.

                    1. ChloeRayne516 says:

                      Well you not what they say about ASSumptions?? ;o)

                      I have a theory as to why alot of women may not swallow which I think is stupid on dudes part.

                      Ya’ll want us to open up and say ahh and swallow it like it’s the next best thing to a vanilla milkshake but when we come in for a kiss afterwards we get the palm in the face (jamie foxx) like Beyotch stop playin go on ahead with that.

                      I can taste and swallow your baby batter but I can’t get no kiss on the lips aftewards….#Nobueno

              2. no one said you had to compete with a midget. i would never actually have sex with a midget. that’s the joy of it though. i can still think about it though.

                1. ChloeRayne516 says:


          2. don’t judge me but i’m about 6’6″ so if a midget was giving me head she could probably do so while standing up. *shrug*

            1. LaLaBakir says:

              *slides out of chair in laugher*

            2. ChloeRayne516 says:



            3. keisha brown says:


          1. Starita34 says:

            PC word for “fat chicks”

            1. Kema says:

              Big Beautiful Woman

            2. LaLaBakir says:

              Thanks ladies!!!

              Clearly I’m a novice when it comes to all this :/

          2. i don’t know why sometimes while perusing pron i stop there. its like a fetish or something. i don’t think it would go down like that in real life. like its always some dude that weighs like 140 pounds but the chick is double his weight. lol

    2. N.I.A.naturally says:

      So… I should probably take DP off my bucket list? Damn!! Seriously, what if I find a more suitable position for it? No, really, this hurts my heart. 🙁

      1. max says:

        Just do it, kill both dudes afterward, and never speak of it.

      2. “You done went all porno on it, k. And I, and I love it..And I thank you, I thank you, my dick thanks you! How did you learn, how.. how did your game come up?”

        That’s the best way to put my reply to that comment.

      3. what position would that be? besides a d*ck in your mouth and one in your pu$$y i don’t see what else couldn’t be misconstrued as gay.

        1. N.I.A.naturally says:

          Its not gay!! See, this is why I need to move to Europe, specifically France. Why should I be punished, and miss out because men think 2 d*cks in the same room is suspect? Boo, I say. BOO!! LMAO!!

          1. i never said two d*cks in the same room was gay. i said that one d*ck in a pu$$y and one in the ass was a little too close for comfort for me. you would have to feel the other d*ck while in there. and i never said i would never do it either. i wouldn’t ever say i wouldn’t do something.

            1. N.I.A.naturally says:

              I hear you. it wouldn’t be too close for comfort for me (lol), but I can see how that would rub you the wrong way.

      4. Adonis says:

        22, Black Male, NYC

        I would be open to having my girlfriends having more than one penis inside her…

        I do not know whether you should or shouldn’t, because you are a female

        But if you do, make sure you do it with highly mature guys that you don’t know… (personal opinion)

        I think every woman should try more than one penis at sometime in their life…



        1. Thank you, Adonis. 22 you say. I haven’t had a 22 yr. old in a long time… lol.

          1. Adonis says:

            Well, you won’t, because by the time we get together, I will be 23 🙂

  14. max speaking of strap ons i was watching youporn last night and what’s the deal with two black women using an anglo strap on? couldn’t they find a black one? i thought i’d ask you since you are the resident strap on expert.

    1. Kema says:

      I am a fan on pornhub or homegrownfreaks myself but I would say they were using an anglo strap on because thats what white men want to see. I also noticed on these sites (not homegrownfreaks!) that its harder for me to find black on black love and even harder for me to find cunnilingus involving black men.

      1. MeteorMan says:

        its harder for me to find black on black love and even harder for me to find cunnilingus involving black men.

        All the black porn I’ve seen ALWAYS have homie going down.

        1. Kema says:

          on youporn? or your personal collection?

          All the ones I see seem to have the same script…

          Guy behind camera: What your name?
          Girl: ______ Insert cutesy stripper/porn name
          Guy: So you like chex?
          Girl: Yes! A lot!
          Guy: Show us something…
          Girl: OK!!! *Shakes booty and giggles*

          cut scene

          All of a sudden a random peen (or two) is now on camera and girl is felating. When done guy turns her into at least 3 positions and then finishes on her face or in her mouth.

          End scene

          1. creampie is making a come up in pron too. can’t forget that.

            as far as the script is concerned, i hate that particular cookie cutter stuff. which is one reason i like amateur.

          2. MeteorMan says:

            I never got into youporn. My personal collection via the Internets. I download mine for free. You’ll be surprised at how many sites will allow you to download full movies of various types (no signup) and I’m not talking about torrents either. Many sites use megaupload, fileserve, and hotfile for their file hosting.

            1. the space on my laptop is best used for music. i just stream mine. there are so many sites in which you can just watch videos. youporn, redtude. tnaflix, pornhub, xnxx, xvideos, etc.

              1. MeteorMan says:

                space on a laptop… nah… external harddrive. Plus, too many times I lost my music, videos, files b/c my laptop harddrive failed.

            2. Kema says:

              And some sources are?

              1. MeteorMan says:

                pornrabbit DOT com-> all their videos are mp4 format. all discrete scenes.

                empflix DOT net-> most of their stuff is download-able but only as Flash video. Content is wompy sometimes.

                filmescompletosxxx DOT com-> All content are full movies. Site in Portuguese BUT if you aren’t trying to read comments and ads you’ll be fine. Things are categorized by the publisher and the movies are of mixed genres. They usually have new posts every 1-2 days. However, they seem to be having trouble with their site last time I checked (~2 days ago).

        2. Starita34 says:

          LOL-I’d guess cause we can’t feel the color of the dildo, mine are like pink and purple and ish, they aren’t lifelike…I had an ex offer to make me a mold of his, but I don’t want that kinda tease! Give me the real thing!

          I agree with meteor – the porn I see the men are ALWAYS going down even when they’re terrible at it and it lasts too damn long. Well hello there, fast forward button.

          1. max says:

            I hate the colours though. I have a pink one and a purple one and the colours kind of turn me off. Plus they look corny in pictures

            1. Starita34 says:

              Even our toys are the same colors? Eerie.

            2. so you own a strap on? have you ever put it to use?

              1. max says:

                I don’t own a strap-on yet I’m just talking regular vibrators.

      2. you should try searching under amateur. pron is catered towards men and [most] men don’t want to see another dude eating the box.

      3. Adonis says:

        agreed, need more links

  15. Danielle says:

    Other than being an eternal, habitual explorer, I like light S/M and but more into Bondage and Discipline. I love the control aspect of things.

    *And side note* I don’t know why but I don’t enjoy S/M porn with black women in it. But I can watch a white woman get her ass beat all day. Does that make me a porn racist? lol

    1. keisha brown says:

      DIES @ porn racist.
      and no. LOL. i prefer my porn the same way i prefer my sex and sweet things: #allchocolateeverything.

  16. Adonis says:

    I believe that is the dichonomy of women, lady in the streets, freak in the bed….

  17. N.I.A.naturally says:

    This entire post/convo is right up my alley. I hate I don’t have time to really get into it the way I want. Strap-on, Max? Word? nice….

    Anywho, I like it rough. Like really. The first time I realized I preferred the rough shyt was when I painted the nails on both hands fantasizing about my homeboy choking me while banging me on the couch. Good grief, I’ll be thinking about that all day…

    I love having my hair pulled, and I LOVE, LOVE, being spanked.

    Great post, Max!

    1. max says:

      This comment very nearly inspired an emergency nail-painting session.

    2. Starita34 says:

      Getting your hair pulled can be the difference between “meh” and being at his door like Roscoe beggin “can we do what we had done the other night again?” like a crack feen.

      A man that isn’t scared to hurt me…that REALLY pulls my hair, he’s got a distinct advantage. We have high thresholds for pain fellas, we won’t break.

    3. i’m willing to put money on the odds that you never told your homeboy about your fantasy.

      1. N.I.A.naturally says:

        I never told him because we were no longer kicking it. And he had a gf. Yeah, that fantasy was awesome.

        1. you still should have told him. lol

  18. I feel so at home here.


    Great post. *smacks Maxie’s ass*

  19. Lina says:

    I know this is mad late, but I read this last night and had to calm down before I called some folk I shouldn’t. Yes, it took me this long and just thinking about it makes me wanna call this dude who I just know can get me to where I need to be.

    Unfortunately, I swear I have a mind/body disconnect. Like it, love it rough and fantasizing about it turns me on, but my body gets hurt/sore too quick. I declare my body laughs at me and yells “Gotcha b*tch!”, when it gets to the good part and my body just conks out. smh

    1. max says:

      That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

  20. streetztalk says:



    Good post Maxie!

    1. keisha brown says:


  21. keisha brown says:

    i vote this week on max-logic to be the best week of ALLLLLL time!!
    (or maybe that’s just cuz im horny as rass these days..)

  22. Menelaus says:

    Spitters are for quitters.

    1. i keep saying i’m going to get a shirt that says that.

  23. Ashley says:

    This post left me feeling hot, hot, hot!! I feel like painting my nails right now!

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