No, We Actually Can’t Have Sex Any Time We Want

no-we-cant

Picture the scenario. You’re a woman and you’re single. You’re not dating anyone, you have neither f*ck buddy nor friend with benefits, no e-boo, not even a crush. No entertainment dudes, no bookmarks, no substitute. You are single. And you’re horny. You haven’t had sex in 19 months and your private parts are mad as hell at you. You’re developing carpal tunnel syndrome in your right wrist from working the shit out of your vibrator. You feel like if you don’t get some sex soon you are going to stab someone. The situation is that dire.

So what do you do?

You can go out and meet someone, if you are fortunate enough to live in a city in which there are men worthy of meeting.  But even in the most fast-tracked of scenarios, at the very least you’ll have to wait three days from meeting the dude to f*cking him. And you can really only turn it around that quickly if it’s someone you don’t like. If you do like him, f*cking him on the first date is not a good look, so you’ve got to wait – what? About three weeks or so? Not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not going to put out the fire that is blazing in your panties right now, is it?

Your next option is to find a single male friend that you can bump uglies with. Which means you either have to invite him over under some pretense and hope he magically intuits that you want to bone, or you have to be a big girl and ask him to please come over and blow your back out.  Now if this is truly a platonic friend, if you call him up out of the blue and say “Lovesponge will you please come over and fuck my brains out?” he’s going to be caught off-guard. He might even burst into nervous laughter. He’ll want to believe you but he’s going to think you’re joking. Then you have to work overtime to convince him that you’ve never been more serious in your life. Then after you convince him that you mean what you’re saying, he’ll probably start to worry about whether it’s a good idea or if you risk doing irreparable damage to your friendship. So now you have to convince him that it is the best idea ever and promise that you won’t catch feelings and mess up the friendship. This is, of course, a lie. You’re a girl and you’re probably not wired for this kind of no-strings sex. After all of that, assuming your friend is attracted to you and free that evening, you iron out the logistics of the thing – where are you doing this, who is supplying the condoms, are sleepovers and post-sex phone calls mandatory? And after all of that convincing and negotiating you finally, finally have sex in your sights. Unfortunately the whole experience has been so demoralizing that your ladyparts are all dried up; yet still throbbing with unresolved horniness.

Or you can walk down the street and ask the first man who crosses your path and does not look crazy to come upstairs and break you off. But he’s probably going to think you’re crazy and keep walking.

Or you can hire a male hooker. But they tend to be skeevy and effeminate. So that’s probably not going to work either.

If you’re a woman in this scenario, your best bet is to go to a man you know who really isn’t your friend and ask him to come over and long stroke you. You still might have to convince him that you’re serious, but it won’t take as long as it did with your friend. You won’t have to have the discussion about how it affects your friendship because you don’t have one. It’ll probably take you no more than 15 minutes to convince this dude to head over to your place. Unfortunately, unbeknownst (or maybe unbecarest) to you, the man has now painted you with his mental “slack” brush because you’ve offered up the nani and he didn’t have to do any work for it. Therefore he will take his sweet old time getting to your place – you’re clearly not going anywhere. When he gets there he’ll probably look you up and down and say “What are you waiting for? Take off your clothes. You know the deal – it’s not like you’re a virgin”. Which is something less than sexy. He’s not going to give you much foreplay, may not even kiss you and probably won’t even look at you while you’re fucking. He’s not going to put work in to make you feel good, because hey doesn’t everything feel good to a woman who basically had to call up a semi-stranger to beg for sex? Once he gets his nut, he’s going the fuck to sleep and if you didn’t get yours, oh well. And once he wakes up from his nap he’s out with nary a backward glance.

So yeah…you got fucked. But you also got fucked and need several showers. And horniness doesn’t seem so bad in comparison.

Now let me take a moment to admit that I am being a little over the top here. I have to in order to make men understand this. Because the underlying principle usually escapes men. Men are bored and unmotivated to go after anything that is freely offered to them. Because they are being deprived of the hunt that is so essential to their good behaviour. So yes technically a woman can get sex any time she wants, if she doesn’t mind begging for it and being treated like a whore. But can she get sex that she won’t need six weeks in therapy to recover from? Not really.

At the end of the day, it’s like this: saying a woman can get sex any time she wants is like telling a homeless person they can get food any time they want. I guess they can if they don’t mind picking it out of the garbage and eating around the mold. I mean, you might get salmonella but at least your belly’s full, right?

But what say you guys? Ladies  can you get sex any time you want? Men, have I convinced you?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 258

  1. SimplisElegance says:

    YES YES YES! Thank you for explaining this Max! I thought I was the only one with male friends thinking we can have sex anytime

    Additionally beyond the facts you stated we also can’t because of the social stigma attached to women who get sex whenever they want from whoever they want. Sure, I know tons of men who wanna smash and yeah I get horny often. But I’m still not getting it like that cause of all the shit I’d have to put up with just for a lay that probably isn’t worth the trouble anyway…
    Quality over quantity and all that ish right?

    1. “But I’m still not getting it like that cause of all the shit I’d have to put up with just for a lay that probably isn’t worth the trouble anyway…”

      see the problem with this is the post is about “women getting sex when they wanted” we’re not discussing what happens afterwards. this is about strictly sex.

      1. Adonis says:

        Professor… I hear you, but if I as a woman… I would choose quality or quantity… women can get sex… but there are alot of bs in the fine print after sex…

        The reason is the same reason why I will never get married on western society…

        I love marriage, but I HATE Divorce Law & Child support

  2. “Yes technically a woman can get sex any time she wants…”

    you wrote it. not me. and yes i’m calling bull$hit. there’s no way you can tell me if you are an attractive woman that you don’t have at least 5 male friends that are willing to jump your bones. right now i’m thinking of all the single women friends i have and the odds that if all of them asked me to f*ck their brains out, i’d probably would do the majority. i think that a woman saying that she can’t get sex with she wants tells me one of two things. 1) she’s butt ugly or 2) she really doesn’t want sex. either this is one post that i really don’t agree with.

    1. PrincessT says:

      I agree! I totally have several male friends on standby at all times and it’s really not that hard to get them into bed. There’s no lengthy conversation convincing them that you’re not joking, no logistics required, and no contemplation about how this will affect the friendship – only women think like that!

      1. exactly. i think max is psyching herself out into thinking she couldn’t get some vitamin D knowing good and well she has them on standby.

        1. max says:

          I assure you that if I had a stable of dicks on standby I would not be writing posts about how difficult it is to get sex.

          1. i still call b.s. i could write on my blog about how i often go through dry spells but i don’t. matter of fact you should let me do another guest post. ;-)

            1. max says:

              You’re calling bullshit on me not having a stable of dick? Like what – you think I have one and I’m not admitting to it?

              And you’re free to write me a guest post any time you want to sweetheart.

    2. Starita34 says:

      Well in that regard Tunde, men can have sex any time that they want too…there is always SOME ONE that will sleep with you. It’s a matter of do you want to sleep with them?

      So ok, ANYONE can have sex ANY TIME that they really want it, if sex is ALL they want.

      1. “So ok, ANYONE can have sex ANY TIME that they really want it, if sex is ALL they want.”

        that’s my point. at this point in my life sex isn’t all i want either but if i speak and understand in the literal sense. which is what the original post said. and that’s all i have to go off of. i don’t try to read into the “well how would i feel after”.

        1. Starita34 says:

          Ponders how it would go over if I said in a public area populated with men that “Men can have sex anytime that they want”

          1. unless men are paying for it i doubt they could get it anytime they want. at the end of the day its the woman who has to decide if she wants to sleep with a man, not the other way around.

          2. Starita34 says:

            Sure you could. Think of your friends, your exs, the thirsty girl always trying to date you, the drunk chick at the club that obviously gave up on self-respect when hammer pants were still cool…yes, you could be opening a can of worms…but there are women around you RIGHT NOW that want to eff you. Maybe not someone you want, maybe not someone that’s will be “cool” afterward, but just sex? You could get it.

            1. what you fail to realize is the general premise of sex. women decide if sex is going down. period. so in the end its her decision so she can get it easier. sure i could turn her down but the odds are the next man won’t.

              1. Starita34 says:

                HOW is that only a woman thing!? If I told you no, the next woman wouldn’t…see, works both ways. Men just seem to ask more often. (let’s NOT get back into THAT topic)

                1. yep because then someone will start dropping scriptures. lol

                2. Starita34 says:

                  lol

    3. Dear Mad Scientist69,

      youzelie. I fit your criteria and I cannot have sex anytime I want. I’m cute, tight (he he he), and I love sex. However, I do not have 5 male friends who are a mere phone call away from screams of passion (cue the family). Bottom line, homes: You need more people.

      1. if it is true that you fit the criteria you mentioned i guarantee you that you have 5 male friends you would dig you all the way out. you just don’t know it. also, i would like verification on said criteria.

      2. also i just saw you changed my name to madscientist69. lolololol

  3. sanen85 says:

    That comparison to a homeless person and food is right on. I’m in my 3rd month and can’t imagine making it to 19. My thoughts go out to that person.

    1. Faith4Ever says:

      You’re worried about 3 months…i went a whole year?!…not that there werent options…there just werent any i wanted…at the time…there was an ex-bf and bed buddies I had been with in the past…when the right one snuck back i made sure i was ready when he said ‘Lets do this’…until I realized that he treated me more like a whore than the sexy woman i wanted to be…it didnt last more than a month…i quickly realized that before the so-called ‘feelings’ got in the way…

      *he was sexy tho…beautiful body…and in a desperate attempt only, would i be his whore again ;)

      1. SaneN85 says:

        I have needs, and three months is where I start to get antsy. We all have our different thresholds. Also, it’s mostly the idea that there are no options (that I would take without being on a floorie) available for me in the forseeable future. My long-term CB (who I had absolutely no feelings for. See it’s possible) moved last year and the other douchebag who was an option isn’t an option any more for lots of good reasons. It’s the lack of seeing potentional sex on the horizon that is the most disheartening.

      2. streetztalk says:

        “not that there werent options…there just werent any i wanted…at the time…”

        Thats the point, you had options. You choose not to utilize said options. The main idea of the article was women cant have sex whenever they want right? lol…

  4. SimplisElegance says:

    What said anything about afterwards? I am talking strictly sex. I’m saying I can’t get sex when I want it because it’s more than likely not gonna satisfy my desire. I might have missed the mark because I’m not counting getting horrible sex when I want good sex.
    Are we saying sex is sex regardless? Cause I’ve had experiences where I’d almost forgot it occured considering how…lackluster…it was.
    Um

    1. oh wow. that’s unfortunate. i’m trying to remember if i’ve ever had sex that bad. maybe once. lol

    2. Ashley says:

      *Scans roster of male friends/ex-conquests for potentially groundbreaking sex partner* Yea, I totally agree. lol. I know a lot of men will disagree, but bad sex is worse than no sex. And women are much more likely to experience bad sex than men. lol

      1. the logic of this doesn’t add up. if we’re talking heterosexual relationships. if a man has sex with a woman wouldn’t the odds of a man likely to come across bad sex be the exact same as a woman. i mean lets face it, not all women have that magical pu$$y.

        1. Ashley says:

          I mean I realize that not all women have “magical pu$$y”, but lets be real, I’m pretty sure if we took a poll of how many people have reached a climax during the last 5 times they had sex, im sure at least 95% of those with hands raised would be men and maybe half would be women. Lets not sit here and act like women don’t regularly get the short end of the stick, k? AND, im pretty sure if men’s experiences with sex were ANYTHING like ours, then it there wouldn’t even be a need for this post, because like most women in this here comments section are pointing out, bad/mediocre sex or sex that leaves you feeling like a whore is much worse than no sex. So why would going out to fuck just because we can even be an option if more likely than not, we’re going to be worse off than when we did it?

          1. you’d be surprised but not all men consider climaxing good sex, myself included. if i have to think about other things just to force myself to nut then ummm your sex isn’t that good. i should be thinking about other things to try to make the sex last longer not try to get it over with. *shrug* so your hypothetical poll would still even out to about to the same numbers of for men vs. women.

            1. Starita34 says:

              So would you agree that bad sex is worse than no sex then?

              1. yes i would. its a waste of time. but really how would you know its going to be bad until during or after the act?

              2. Starita34 says:

                Speaking only for myself, if I have no emotional ties to the man, if he treats me like a whore in any way well not in ANY way, but there have to emotional ties for that to be fun, if I have to “beg for it” in any sense; it’s going to be subpar “sex”…perhaps not terrible, but def not worth the gamble or known consequences.

  5. Blackbuttafly says:

    Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.

    Usually I turn to an ex for sex, but I’m not trying to see my ex anymore. He’s been getting on my last nerve. So for the New Year, I promised myself that I would only have sex with a man that I would want to be pregnant by. O_o

    In other news, I gave myself 8 orgasms with my wonderful vibrator in one particularly vigourous sexshon..lol. big shout out to Gigi!

      1. Blackbuttafly says:

        Yep. 8 times. I was so impressed with myself.

        1. i’m impressed with you too.

    1. Starita34 says:

      Get it girl! It’s not the same, but it’ll sure help in a pinch!

      1. Blackbuttafly says:

        Mos def not the same. But if it relieves me of that itch and stops me from texting/dialing/BBMing, then i will do what I gotta do

  6. SimplisElegance says:

    lol Yep. Thing is he really SEEMED like he could lay it down. #SexSwindle #Womp *shrug*

    1. that’s why i stopped going into relations with high expectations.

  7. FIRST OFF…wait, no. I said I was going TO REFRAIN….calm down WIM, cam down….from using caps but THIS POST RIGHT HERE…wait….simmer, simmer down now. Nevermind I’ll have TO RETURN later!

    This WAS ALL……I could AGREE with…..

    “Yes technically a woman can get sex any time she wants”

    *HULK SMASHES HIS WAY OUT OF THIS POST*

  8. Melissa says:

    Homeless analogy is bang on. So technically, we can get it whenever we want. We just can’t get WHAT/WHO we want.

    1. so basically men and women agree that women can get sex whenever they want. period. end of discussion.

      1. max says:

        That’s like saying if a man wanted sex he could get plugged by another man. There you go – you got sex, what are you complaining about?

        1. is that really what you want to do max? lol smh and how exactly did you come to that conclusion?

        2. Kema says:

          I think I like this analogy even better than the homeless one! lol!

        3. Starita34 says:

          I said the same ish in my head Maxie. It’s sex right?

          Tunde I can agree to this: ANYONE can get sex ANYTIME they want if they have no standards.

          1. smh. y’all are something else. we’re talking about heterosexual relationships and you want to bring homosexual sex into the equation. carry on.

            1. max says:

              The point is this. You guys are saying we can have sex if we’re willing to take anything that’s offered and/or compromise our morals for it. Okay I’ll give you that. Yes we can. And according to you guys, that means it’s easy for us.

              But if a man wanted sex and his only option for it was to take beats from another man and he did that, he would also be taking the first thing that was offered and compromising his morals. But he wouldn’t call that easy.

              1. so another man is really the first thing offered? i’m beginning to question the type of men that you associate yourself with. lol

        4. obmon says:

          Homosexuals are certainly more cavalier about sex…

          Your comment is incredibly insulting.

          What you are saying is.. women sleeping with men who they are do not “want” (besides the availability), is like men sleeping with other men?

          80% of women are attracted to 20% of men. The math leaves 60% of the men alone. Fact of the matter is, women are antiquated, irrational, and utterly self-centered in their definition of what is attractive.

          By the way, decent men, i.e. most men, would not leave a woman unsatisfied. The fact that that is what you experience should make you pause and consider the types of men you choose to have around you.

          Also, most men would love to be in purely friends-with-benefits, fuck buddy type relationships. Real relationships with modern women are so fraught with risk, peril, and little incentive. Fuck buddies are the only relationships still worth having.

    2. Cheekie says:

      I agree, the homeless analogy was a great one. I was like “YASSSS” when I read that. And I agree with this distinction:

      “So technically, we can get it whenever we want. We just can’t get WHAT/WHO we want”

      And hell, I’d even say that not getting what/who we want ties right back to not getting it when we want. Because of what/who isn’t available at that time, then we’re not getting it when we want. Am I confuddling folks? My brain hurts.

      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        NOPE!! *shakes head*

        No Confusion over here. I totally agree with errrthang you said.

  9. RAE says:

    Not all women can get sex anytime they want. When (most) men think “women”, they picture the only women they’re interested in picturing: hot ones. In a man’s mind, all women are hot and women who aren’t hot simply don’t exist. They will never notice the plain chubby wallflower in the oversized hoody and baggy jeans who needs love just as much as any horny dude. Can she get sex anytime she wants?
    To (again, most) men, it works like this: MAN= person like me and my friends. WOMAN= something I wanna fuck. So yeah, they think that, since woman= something fuckable, she can get sex. They don’t realize that sometimes woman= lonely human being often ignored by males because her tits aren’t big enough, or whatever.
    And this happens to all women, regardless of their attractiveness levels. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen for you.

    1. ok since you put it that way. i’ll restate my stance.

      its a whole lot easier for a woman to get sex when she wants than a man to get sex when he wants.

      the simple fact that women control when and who they have sex with kind of makes this whole argument mute.

      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        “the simple fact that women control when and who they have sex with”

        O__o and MEN don’t??

        1. they do. at the end of the day the woman decides if sex is going down. not the man. please say that’s not true.

          1. ChloeRayne516 says:

            *sighs*

            You got a point.

          2. Starita34 says:

            No ma’am! He does not! We BOTH decide. Tunde. If I approached you to have sex with you and you did not want to have sex with me. YOU made the decision to not have sex. It’s MUTUAL or it’s none at all. We both have to say yes unless your Roethlisberger #Shots!

            1. ChloeRayne516 says:

              Starita.

              I hear what you are saying but let’s be real unless a chick looks like a mud duck in dude ain’t turning down no pum pum.

              1. ChloeRayne516 says:

                if he knows the chick.

              2. Starita34 says:

                I don’t think I look like a mud duck and I’m still waiting for Streetz answer…

            2. smh. you just don’t get it then. you don’t realize the full power of your pu$$y. unless a dude is committed, abstinent or gay more than likely if you’re an attractive woman he’s going to be game.

              1. MeteorMan says:

                unless a dude is committed Homie will still try to smash… Ol’ girl will be like: “That’s his relationship he’s messing up.”

                1. c’mon dude i’m trying to make us look good. lol

                  1. MeteorMan says:

                    That just means she has EVEN more options!! lol

      2. Starita34 says:

        Chloe! Girl! *stares at her wide eyed* YOU KNOW!?!? I certainly haven’t forced any men into sex in this lifetime!

    2. keisha brown says:

      When (most) men think “women”, they picture the only women they’re interested in picturing: hot ones. In a man’s mind, all women are hot and women who aren’t hot simply don’t exist. They will never notice the plain chubby wallflower in the oversized hoody and baggy jeans who needs love just as much as any horny dude. Can she get sex anytime she wants?

      THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      *not enough exclamation marks in the world.

  10. I feel that I would choose to have sex whenever I want; so long as certain conditions are present.

    To elucidate; when I’m wanting for a piece, I’m wanting for the great stuff. If I have ready access to great sex, I shall revel in the excellence of it’s superb calbre and all is well in the world.

    Great sex is satisfying, drops the horny-factor a notch or two & doesn’t contribute negatively to my psyche. This phenomena tends to occur within the context of a steady relationship as randoms, fuck buddies and friends with benefits do not meet all criteria. Thus ‘whenever I want’ doesn’t apply when there is no significant other, as the decision then needs to be tempered with consideration for consequences rather than viewed as a necessary awesome.

    Mediocre sex can kick rocks. Do not want.

  11. Jodibankss says:

    Actually, women can get sex anytime we please. But the only thing in the way of that are our values and morals. I can call my male friend right now, walk up to some random guy on the street, holla at my fine ass neighbor and we can fuck, just like that! But being a hoe, slut, and easy keeps us from having sex with no stribgs attached. Its a double standard situation

    1. thank you. finally something i can agree with.

  12. MtlMan says:

    -Sweet Chic Geek- “To elucidate; when I’m wanting for a piece, I’m wanting for the great stuff. ”
    Same goes for men, and we all know that we sometimes get lousy sex too.
    “Mediocre sex can kick rocks. Do not want.” I second that!

  13. Funms says:

    THANK YOU

    You wrote it exactly how it needs to be said….No we can’t get it when we want and i would rather stay horny than indulge in bad sex…..nothing worse than lousy sex

  14. OSHH says:

    ITA with this post….folk forget sometimes the main sex organ is the mind, ALOT more to great sex than just physicalities.

    1. Starita34 says:

      ^^^ THISSSSSSSSSSS!

  15. Menelaus says:

    I disagree with this notion, you may not be able to get the type of sex you want, or the person you want, but you can have sex. I think that’s the basis of what men are saying, because for men, that’s how they look at sex. (According to most of you women.)

    Max, think like a man though… men can get sex whenever they want, but it’s not spontaneous and not without hard work. There was a point in every man’s life where he wasn’t pulling the baddest chick, he had to settle for a below basic or basic chick. But he got better and kept at it. No dude walks on the basketball court and is a natural at the game, he may have raw talent, but that’s not going to transfer into winning. He has to work at it. If women work at their craft, each year, they’ll get a little better, pretty soon they’ll be knocking down those shots with ease, even with their eyes closed.

    PS – You may have to pull a LeBron… (Sane)… and move to a warmer climate where your talents can be better used.

    1. SaneN85 says:

      I should have been done pulled a Lebron a long time ago. Now if only I could figure out where to go that didn’t increase my cost of living by 40%.

  16. First, I co-sign Dr. Jay and MadScientist cuz they’ve made rational, succinct points that I agree with. lol

    All I want to add is that if anyone is like a homeless person, it is men. Women are presented with a “buffet” but they CHOOSE not to eat. Men, like the homeless man, have to rummage and scavage for food. In other words, women are presented with food, men have to search for food. The quality of food found is debatable but one is clearly easier than the other, being able to choose rather than search.

    Women on the other hand, if you want to be fair, are choosing from a buffet, albeit blindly. This isn’t to say you CAN’T eat but you CHOOSE not to eat for fear that you’ll blindly grab shrimp when you wanted steak, etc. etc.

    There is no disputing this and I dont know why women are hell bent on doing so. On the fundamental level of if you can have “sex” and sex alone anytime you want, unless you look like a platypus, you can – and even then, you probably still could.

    1. OSHH says:

      Your comment isn’t true for all men that searching scavaging etc, some men get “it” thrown at them from all variety of angles, other men included, so yeah but NO! Some men esp in light of today’s climate have plenty to choose from, more and better quality some would argue, than alot of women do for sure.

      1. We will have to agree to disagree. All things equal, e.g. a man who is a 9 and a woman who is a 9 in the looks department, I don’t care if they both live in Antartica or Timbucktoo, the woman will always have more to choose from than the man because more men throw “it” than women throw “it.” Now if you want to take an ugly woman vs. a good looking rich man, I can see your point but as you can see the scales must be skewed for the arguement to even make sense.

        As far as the “and better” comment, I can agree with that but ONLY because men are easier to please than women. I mean I read an article about 8 steps needed to help a woman reach orgasm. 8 STEPS. EIGHT! And I think only one had to do with sex. lol, smh and walks off.

    2. max says:

      Let me try this again using your buffet analogy….

      I’m hungry and I go over to the buffet table and what is laid out is chunks of shit and glasses of piss. So yeah I guess I can eat and drink but…is this what I’ve been reduced to?

      1. That implies that *all* you have to choose from is chunks of shit and glasses of piss. And I can’t see that ever being the case. Furthermore, I would actually even argue if you would even have to go to the buffet rather than having the buffet delivered to you. Room service anyone? But you don’t answer the door for fear you might not enjoy the meal. The two are not related. There is food to be had and again you are CHOOSING not to eat the food (or take the meat, see what I did there) out of fear it will not be prepared and served to your liking (see what I did there too).

    3. Melanie says:

      Sex alone yes, but isn’t the point of sex pleasure? I’m just saying… if men had to live with a 25% or less chance of an orgasm… That and be plagued with the pressure that society places on women who run around accepting random peen? Much less SOLICITING random peen?

      Y’all would loose your effing minds.

  17. Melissa Lynnette says:

    The reason why men will never get this is because they don’t understand that sex isn’t automatically good/pleasurable/satisfying for a woman just because it happens.

    Of course I could probably have sex tonight if I wanted to, but that would simply lead to more problems and I’d probably still be horny tomorrow in addition to being upset. Why? Because the only way I could have sex tonight is if I a) called up this married guy who won’t leave me alone – ew, b) put an ad on Craigslist which will most likely get me killed in some horrible manner or c) went to a bar and told some guy “let’s fuck”, which would happen about the same way as was outlined in the post. He wouldn’t put in any effort, I wouldn’t be all that turned on, his dick would probably be too small, his place would probably be gross, etc, etc.

    So yeah, it could happen. But why on earth would I want to do that to myself? Feeling unsatisfied and disgusted is not the point of sex. And if I’m not going to get out of sex what I want, then I can’t actually have sex WHEN I want.

    But men will never get that, so onward we go with this argument. Lol.

    1. there are a lot of “ifs” and “probably” in your comment.

      1. Melissa Lynnette says:

        That’s kind of the point. There are too many unknowns in the equation. I’ll pass. I’ve got streaming Netflix, wine in my fridge and dark chocolate gelato in my freezer. There are no “ifs” or “probablys” in that scenario. I know for a fact that I will enjoy myself and have a good night’s rest with those things. Some strange man? Not so much.

        1. true. i guess you have a point there but who said that it had to be a strange man? i for one don’t just have sex with strange women. if a woman walked up to me on the street and said lets f*ck i’m sorry she would get the straight side-eye.

          1. Kema says:

            If you stop being so closed minded and were more open to having relations with strangers you too could have it any time you want. :-p

            1. Starita34 says:

              LOL @ the boomerang

              *daps*

            2. perhaps i should but i won’t. and you’ve never heard me complain or type that i couldn’t get quality sex when i wanted it so until then i’m good on strangers. ;)

        2. Starita34 says:

          I love this comment…

          even thought inadvertently made their point for them. Because in the end what you WANT more is the peace of mind and guarantee of the gelato (YUM), netflix, and wine as opposed to the ifs and probablies of random sex, because it is a choice. BUT I MAINTAIN THAT MEN HAVE THE EXACT SAME “CHOICE”!

  18. This is a great post… extremely well written as usual Max. It’s also complete bollocks!

    In your 19 month scenario… the one glaring question that jumps out at me is… What the heck has this chick been doing for the past 19 months? Was she locked up… abroad? If she wasn’t she could have been cultivating some scrape.

    The problem with women is, you guys, as usual want to have your cake and eat it to. You want to have consistent sex, but you don’t want a relationship. At the same time, you can’t cultivate a quality friend with benefits situation because you aren’t emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize your feelings. Bollocks… it’s all bollocks.

      1. Melanie says:

        -10 based one this statement alone.

        “because you aren’t emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize your feelings”

        Since when does compartmentalizing equate to emotional maturity? lol that’s funny.

        1. I don’t think the ability to compartmentalize your emotions is necesarily a sign of emotional maturity, but, the ability to choose just how much impact your emotions have on your actions is.

          In the post, Max talks about not wanting to sleep with someone because you don’t want to catch feelings for that person. If you are unable to separate the two things, but you want to be able to separate the two things, then that’s a sign of emotional immaturity.

          1. Melanie says:

            Mmm… I can almost agree, but no cigar. The ability to detach from your emotions doesn’t equate to emotional maturity. It’s simply the ability to emotional detach or as you used compartmentalize. Has nothing to do with maturity. Some of the most inept emotional humans walking the earth in a majority vote can compartmentalize. For most people it’s not even a skill that they have actively engaged, it’s a defense mechanism to protect self.

            1. I agree with that statement. Some folks just do it to survive.

              But then for some folks, compartmentalization is a choice. And for those folks, the fact that they have the ability to either choose to compartmentalize, or to choose not to, is most definitely a sign of emotional maturity.

              As I said, I gathered from this post, that some women would like to be able to compartmentalize their emotions for the purposes of fulfilling sexual desire, but, for a reason that escapes them, they are unable to me. That, for me, is most definitely a sign of emotional immaturity.

              The key to the whole thing is the ability to choose. I’m not saying the guy or gal who is unable to compartmentalize is necessarily immature, and I’m not saying the guy or gal who is able to compartmentalize is necessarily mature, I’m saying the individual who can choose between the two… is more emotionally advanced than them all.

              1. Melanie says:

                Sorry for dropping the conversation, apparently I didn’t subscribe to comments and got taken away by the days events.

                I really didn’t intend to divert the convo from the actually topic at hand. And we may just need to agree to disagree.

                I think of it like this – At the end of the day some people can literally think, “hmm… I haven’t isht today. Let me go take care of this” and off they go. The climb on the throne and they make it happen. Is this a skill? Some would say yes, because not everyone can do it. Is it a skill that some wish they could effectively achieve? Yes, because it relieves a bodily need. But, does this skill equate to emotional maturity? No, it’s the ability to push waste out of the body.

                Let’s see if this works for sex…

                At the end of the day some people can literally think, “hmm… I haven’t been f*cked today. Let me call Jane/Joe and take care of this” and off they go. The climb on the throne and they make it happen. Is this a skill? Some would say yes, because not everyone can detach emotionally and simply f*ck. Is it a skill that some wish they could effectively achieve? Yes, because it relieves a bodily need. But, does the skill equate to emotional maturity? No, it’s the ability to push fluid from the body.

                It’s simply a skill. Do both situations require body and mind? Yes, but not emotional maturity.

                To this point, “I’m saying the individual who can choose between the two… is more emotionally advanced than them all.”

                We could say, “I’m saying the individual who can choose between the two (to isht or not to isht, to sex or not to sex)… is more skilled than them all.”

            2. Starita34 says:

              “For most people it’s not even a skill that they have actively engaged, it’s a defense mechanism to protect self.”

              Right, sociopaths have this down, and I wouldn’t call them “emotionally mature”.

              1. Melanie says:

                Thanks Star – my comments are usually too long. I can’t get it all in. Thanks! becuz I definitely thought that when I responded.

          2. Starita34 says:

            I gotta rock with Melanie here.

            Part of “the ability to choose just how much impact your emotions have on your actions” is knowing when a situation is bad for you, when you’re emotions would effect your actions negatively. Like the FWB that you could see a future with, so you choose not to entertain a perfectly suitable mate when you know that he is not ready for commitment or looking for the same thing that you are. Plus those emotions may end up messing up a perfectly good friendship. In the end it is a choice, but everything is.

    1. Ashley says:

      One, I dont remember anyone in the comments saying anything about wanting consistent sex but not wanting a relationship….i also think if that were the case, all these relationship blogs would be pointless, especially since we all know that sex is a little less elusive than a quality (i repeat, QUALITY) relationship these days.

      Two, its not that we arent emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize our feelings (if intentions were discussed up front), more like we don’t like to be blindsided. I’m sure both sexes can agree with that.

      Three, how did we get to the “see! see! thats whats wrong with you women” discussion from this? Yea, most of us probably can go get sex whenever we want, but most of us probably dont want to endure the bed hopping and disappointing experiences that would most likely come with it if we wanted it on a consistent basis.

      1. One – I can agree on that… it was an assumption.
        Two – Not sure what you meant by blindsided
        Three- This is exactly what I mean by wanting to have your cake and eat it to. I say that because lots of men have to live down this dilemma every day of your lives. Take a married man for example. When a man gets married, his desire to bed other women doesn’t change. That’s still there. He has to just deal with that because he wants to keep his cake (his wife). Lots of men, when in that situation, just do what they have to do, deal with their emotions and desire through discipline, and we, for the most part, don’t complain about it.

        This blog post to me basically said, “I haven’t had sex in 19 months because I don’t want all the dram that comes with non-committal sex.” Cool. Deal with it… or don’t… but don’t give me the whole “we’re powerless women trapped between the rock of our carnal desires, the hard place of societal expectations and the brick wall of shortage of quality men.” That, to me… is bollocks.

        1. Ashley says:

          By being blindsided I meant, going into a dating/courting situation, things seem to be going well and then all of a sudden the man/woman just dips and you’re standing there looking confused. Now, I will admit that some emotionally immature men and women will react to this situation a little more intensely than others, but its a situation that nobody wants to experience, and its not the type of situation that you should go into with compartmentalized feelings. However, if at the beginning of the situation you both discuss the fact that this is purely physical and there is no relationship to be had, then yes, an emotionally mature person would be able to set those feelings aside, and upon finding out that those feelings are becoming stronger, they would discuss it with the partner and act accordingly.

          But as far as this statement: “This blog post to me basically said, “I haven’t had sex in 19 months because I don’t want all the dram that comes with non-committal sex.” Cool. Deal with it… or don’t… but don’t give me the whole “we’re powerless women trapped between the rock of our carnal desires, the hard place of societal expectations and the brick wall of shortage of quality men.” That, to me… is bollocks.”

          I dont remember Max (or anyone, really, but hey, maybe i overlooked a comment or two) saying that they were powerless and woe is me and blah, blah…I think she was just pointing out that random sex is not ideal and therefore the whole “women can have sex whenever” argument is just like, pointless, i guess. Maybe we shouldnt be so caught up in the title…lol

    2. max says:

      I call foul on that Most. Please do not act like not being able to compartmentalize is the exclusive domain of females. They (okay – we) may be worse than you guys at it, but you guys are pretty crappy at it sometimes too.

    3. keisha brown says:

      The problem with women is, you guys, as usual want to have your cake and eat it to. You want to have consistent sex, but you don’t want a relationship. At the same time, you can’t cultivate a quality friend with benefits situation because you aren’t emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize your feelings. Bollocks… it’s all bollocks.

      um. i rebuke this in the name of grilled cheezus.
      a) everyone wants sex
      b) everyone wants good sex
      c) everyone wants consistent sex
      d) there are women who dont want relationships, but that is more a dude thing (to want to have the cake and eat it too)
      e) women’s emotions are the only thing that eff up a good fWb relationship (as per Max’s recent post)

      at the end of the day.. men and women will clearly never understand/see eye to eye on this. yes, women hold some control/access…but not ALL of it.

      sure, in life you always have a choice. we can choose to do whatever we want and think there wont be any consequences (being labelled, diseases, babies, emotional stress)..but if the cons outweigh the pros.. me thinking i dont have a choice isn’t as invalid as the men replying in todays post believe.

    4. Antoinette says:

      I want a relationship and sex, you stupid motherfucker!

  19. emti says:

    Dear Max:

    “I don’t even have a plate”

    1. max says:

      Bwahahahaha

    2. Starita34 says:

      *hands Emti the Comment of the Day award, confetti rains from the sky, trumpets sound, and four bluebirds gently drop a purple velvet robe upon her shoulders emblazoned with the words “Stellar Comment”, camera pans the audience of screaming teens, pride filled women, and a single man trying to hold back tears.*

      *awaits acceptance speech*

      1. emti says:

        LMAO thank you, thank you very much! *bows deeply*

    3. keisha brown says:

      *falls off couch

  20. Melanie says:

    My first response is on the title alone… “What? *confusion* Why not?”

    I’m going back up to read why this title exists now.

  21. ChloeRayne516 says:

    i think the reason why men are on here calling BS on the notion that we can’t have chex anytime we want is becuase they feel that we DON’T have to work for it, which is true and that’s not the case when it comes to them because THEY DO have to put in work for the cutty, welll at least some of them do. :o)

    0.02 cents

    1. max says:

      Yeah but a) the idea that women don’t have to work (or pay a price) for sex is complete horseshit and b) THESE dudes are not working for sex. Maybe some unfortunate men are, but I don’t believe for one second that the ones who have commented on this post have to put in work to get pussy. Not one second.

      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        Okay, but notice I specifically didn’t use the term “pay a price for it” because that’s a whole different discussion right there, #whew BUT “we having to work to get it” I agree with the men folks on this one. We don’t have to work to get chex, unless you consider waxing, shaving, mani-pedi and so forth puttin in work. *shrugs*

      2. get out of here max. i work hard for pu$$y. matter of fact let me tell you a story:

        I know this girl we call her Sweet Cooch Brown
        Hands down, mami had the bombest pu$$y in town
        One dip in the girl pool, that’s all it took
        One sample of the snapple, and ya ass was whupped
        Have you buyin’ Gucci sandals, matchin’ pocket books
        Blowin’ up her beeper ringin’ her phone off the hook
        Ball players they spent money, rappers they spent time
        All a while they both clamin’ that they never spent a dime
        Business guys, she would victimize
        Have ‘em paying rent on condos in the Miami high rise
        We ask her, who pu$$y is this look her right in her eyes
        She said this pu$$y’s yours daddy, tell ‘em nothin’ but lies
        They didn’t believe it, but they wanted to, needed to
        She had the type of body, that you didn’t want leavin’ you
        So they ignored all her flirtin’ ways
        And put a ring on her finger I’m like, Earth to Dave

      3. Adonis says:

        I am the exception that proves the rule (for now)

  22. Sam Sharpe says:

    Max, you and all the ladies on here are missing the point. It’s not really (just) about the fact that women can have sex any time they want and men can’t, it’s that it is far, far, far EASIER for women to find.

    Let me address some of your points individually:

    Exhibit A.

    “Now if this is truly a platonic friend, if you call him up out of the blue and say “Lovesponge will you please come over and fuck my brains out?” he’s going to be caught off-guard. He might even burst into nervous laughter. He’ll want to believe you but he’s going to think you’re joking.”

    EVERY woman has this option. Very few men do. If I were to even broach this subject with most of my female friends I’d get shut down and called a pig. Ladies, broach this subject with a dude and you’re likely to get the peen you desire.

    EXHIBIT B.

    “Or you can walk down the street and ask the first man who crosses your path and does not look crazy to come upstairs and break you off. But he’s probably going to think you’re crazy and keep walking.”

    Again, an option women have that we don’t. Yes, he may think you’re crazy and keep walking but there’s still a chance you’ll get the peen you desire. Me? I’m likely to get arrested.

    EXHIBIT C.

    “If you’re a woman in this scenario, your best bet is to go to a man you know who really isn’t your friend and ask him to come over and long stroke you.”

    This might be the most hilarious one. For a man, this isn’t even in the playbook. If a lady tries this, she’s probably going to get dicked down. Dudes? Best case scenario: Become the subject of gossip and innuendo in social group, forever known as the a**hole who barely knows me and called me up for sex. Worst case scenario: She calls the police.

    EXHIBIT D.

    “Yes technically a woman can get sex any time she wants, if she doesn’t mind begging for it and being treated like a whore. But can she get sex that she won’t need six weeks in therapy to recover from? Not really.”

    This is patently untrue. I actually don’t have the time or inclination to debunk it right now (I would need at least 250 to 500 words) but there is no “technically” about it. Plus, we men aren’t claiming that women can have the ideal sexual experience any time they want, just that you can have sex any time you want.

    One more thing. You present your hypothetical dick search as some kind of ordeal, some kind of maze or labyrinth women need to navigate, fully equipped with flame spewing, flesh eating monsters…when every one here knows y’all spend just as much if not more time deciding what to wear to work in the morning, or deliberating if that eyeliner matches that lipstick matches the bangle on your wrist….so PUHLEEEZE quit with this horse**** that picking up the phone and calling a dude is such an ordeal. Get over yourselves.

    1. +1

      lol ok, I’m done for the day.

    2. Starita34 says:

      Sorry for your loss Maxie, this is pretty ironclad.

      1. max says:

        Don’t count me out yet my sweet.

    3. emti says:

      ummm, yeah…wow

    4. hahahahaha! that eyeliner matches that lipstick? you’re a hoot.

    5. and there it is! my man (denzel washington voice).

    6. max says:

      I find it so interesting how all you men actually think that you know better than a woman how easy it is for us to get sex, when none of you are women.

      It’s sooooo easy for you all to sit at your desks and say that you would give up the dick to a random woman who would ask for it, but the fact is Sam Sharpe that if I called you up right now and offered you free pussy, I highly doubt you’d be instantly jumping on the subway and running downtown to take it. If I worked at it I might convince you, but then again if you called me up and worked at it you could convince me too. So who has it easier? No one.

      Women can have sex any time we want if we’re willing to beg for it, be judged for it, and risk being treated like whores for it. That doesn’t make it easy for us to get. And if it was the other way around and you guys had to compromise your morals to get sex you wouldn’t be walking around talking about how easy it is for you to get sex either.

      1. Starita34 says:

        ooooh, CHALLONJ!!

        and that’s why this is her show…

      2. call me and see what i say.

        1. Starita34 says:

          LMAO, I like how you quietly slipped that in there!!!

      3. OSHH says:

        and thats it, these dudes act like there aren’t costs associated to everything.
        It’s not easier for either just different, honey that’s like some folk think pretty or attractive people have it so much easier, no not easier just different, just a whole nother set of sh*t that folk who aren’t considered all that attractive have to deal with, not easy just different.

      4. Sam Sharpe says:

        “I find it so interesting how all you men actually think that you know better than a woman how easy it is for us to get sex, when none of you are women.”

        We men know how we would react to a woman’s sex request. To put it another way, we know b/c we are the supply/supplier.

        And Max, if you called me and offered free pum, I may or may put on my Pumas and reach in Usain Bolt like fashion, but the point is I wouldn’t outright dismiss you and tell you you’re objectifying me…or you’re a pig….whatever. Point is, you have the option. And if it wasn’t me, then I KNOW you have other options….

        Me, excluding a girlfriend/woman/established side piece, there is not a single girl out there I can call on a whim and expect to slam…..

        “Women can have sex any time we want if we’re willing to beg for it, be judged for it, and risk being treated like whores for it. That doesn’t make it easy for us to get. And if it was the other way around and you guys had to compromise your morals to get sex you wouldn’t be walking around talking about how easy it is for you to get sex either.”

        Easy is a relative term. Regardless, women have it EASIER. And what’s with all this talk of compromising morals? This sounds a little like your own issues or you buying into bull**** societal double standards (that I’m sure you rail and rant against elsewhere on your blog, but all of a sudden they have validity) that I don’t buy into.

        Assuming there isn’t a woman/relationship/career related issue preventing a man from sleeping with a lady the only reason a dude turns down a girl’s offer of sex is if he thinks she’s unattractive. Or he thinks it’s some sort of trap, or he thinks she’s lying ’cause women rarely make these kinds of approaches b/c they buy into the societal bull**** I referred to above.

        1. keisha brown says:

          This sounds a little like your own issues or you buying into bull**** societal double standards

          (sorry..im all over the place today on this thread/post)..

          just because they ARE bullshyt and we dont WANT to believe in them doesnt mean we can ignore the fact that they still exist and are still applied by MEN against women.

          –>See recent SBM post about the chick who didnt want to sleep with dude on date 2 because she considered him husband prospect and didnt want to be relegated to sidepiece.

          1. Starita34 says:

            “just because they ARE bullshyt and we dont WANT to believe in them doesnt mean we can ignore the fact that they still exist and are still applied by MEN against women.”

            I’ma kiss those glossay, glossay lips! SAY THAT! I don’t particularly buy into the societal construct of “race” but ish is very real in this world I live in, so you do what you gotta do. I mean cash is just paper, but because we believe that there is gold behind it somewhere there isn’t it holds value. It is what it mother effin is.

            Just because a few enlightened folks don’t think “sluts” are sluts, doesn’t change the world we live in and have to navigate as women.

            1. Sam Sharpe says:

              I’m not arguing any post sex judgments. The issue, as I understand it, is whether or not it women can find/get sex anytime. Not whether or not society judges women who have casual sex harshly. Not will the sex be banging if it’s a one time thing. But, is it easier for women to find sex. The answer is a resounding yes…

              …kiss those glossay, glossay lips a bit to close and you just may get bitten.

              1. Starita34 says:

                Oooh, you promise?

                1. Sam Sharpe says:

                  I’m nothing if not a man of my word!

                  And who doesn’t luv a little lip gloss.

              2. Starita34 says:

                You had me all discombobulated with your sweet nothings of biting and I wasn’t able to counterpoint on this one *mind wanders to the lips and biting again* FOCUS!

                The issue is- is having sex EASY for women. You say that the after effects do not rank. Well I say they do, it’s all a part of the whole kit and caboodle that is sex.

                Like you could SAY that it’s “easy” to jump off of a building…but it’s not easy to survive that, so it’s no longer so easy to actually DO. All actions have consequences and leaving emotions and consequences out of the equation is (wait for it) ILLOGICAL. That’s right, I SAID IT. now if you must punish me, I completely understand :-D *logs onto Skype*

      5. keisha brown says:

        exactly.
        if i were to say to all these dudes replying today – im interesting in having sex with you..you are saying ALL of you would say yes???
        HELL. NAW.
        emphasis on the HELL.
        there are reasons why you choose not to go after a woman sexually (key one being you dont find her sexually attractive outside a dark club and not under the influence of henny/patron). you may have had to work for some chicks that YOU wanted, but I refuse to believe than any of the men in here WORK @ getting sex. the girl that doesn’t want to be considered a ho might make you work.. but the girl that doesnt give a rat’s ass WONT. and you all KNOW it.

        1. Adonis says:

          Co-Sign… Good Point

    7. keisha brown says:

      If I were to even broach this subject with most of my female friends I’d get shut down and called a pig.
      -nope. ALL women know that you aint just trying to be our friend. unless you are gay.. we are going to presume and assume you want to hit it. we’re just curious as to what takes you so long to bring it the eff up.

      dust yaself off and try again…

    8. TheLeoGrl says:

      *raises hand slowly with face down….does not want to upset Queen Max* ummm…well…here’s a true story…just last weekend when the announcement of a snow storm was to hit the eastern seaboard…. dude called me wanting to come over and get snowed in together…..0_o…my reply? “I’m sorry, I do the calling when I want some d*ck, not you, fall back until you are summoned”….I.GET.IT.ANYTIME.I.WANT.IT (okay, okay so I’m being a bit dramatic, my actual reply was “nah, I’m good, I’ll call you ” but he got the point!) You see my mood is the key. I may want the guy that’s gonna buy all the take out food and champagne all weekend, he puts in decent work though…I may want the guy that’s gonna “light one up” first and then do nasty things with me…I may want the guy with the wicked iPod line up where we light the fireplace and dance/sing ridiculously into the night or I may just want the one with the dead on tongue game so I can be lazy and just lay around getting getting lip service and if Aunt Flo is visiting I want sensitive dude that just wants to cook and watch movies and cuddle. My mood. My Choice. The guys are right here Max. *that is all, swiftly exits*

  23. Melanie says:

    Ok – so now that I’ve read the post I can agree. I thought this was going to be one of those… “he wants sex all the time and women can’t sex all the time” posts which just irks my nerves. Why people get in relationships to not have sex blows my mind. There is no logic in it.

    Love the homeless analogy like most of the women do.

    And I’m sorry to bring statistics into it, but I feel the need. Especially since I just tweeted these stats the other day…

    http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/57K05M/mypix.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/female_orgasm_facts.jpg

    So if the average women has a 50-66% chance that she will NOT orgasm, then why do you think we aren’t inclined to just let any d*ck run up in us? And that’s using the nice stats – 75% of women don’t orgasm from vaginal intercourse anyway. I could go on, but… the point of this discussion is sex.

    And the purpose of sex is have pleasure, in other words, have an orgasm, correct? I mean we aren’t talking about cuddling, relationships, probability of a future relationship and everything else… yes, Max mentioned those things, but from most of the men’s responses their throwing that out the window. Sex is sex, but wait it’s not… at least not for women.

    1. If you can’t orgasm, that’s a personal problem that you need to lock yourself in a room for a weekend and figure out.

      I understand the point though, if you can’t have an orgasm from intercourse, why want it. But then… why do you want sex in the first place if you know you’re in that 75 percent that can’t get their full measure of pleasure from it. And therein lies the rub. It’s you… not us.

      1. Starita34 says:

        *sigh*
        Mostilicious, we both (men and women) want good sex though, right? Can we make this an “us” issue and not a holes vs. poles faceoff? Please? Blame gets us nowhere. In the end women are women and men are men.

        1. Nah we can’t because this is a female issue. It just is, it’s not about blame. That’s just a fact. Men, generally speaking, are pretty content with the sex they’re getting. It’s yall who are all picky about it. And rightfully so, you should be. Just don’t complain. Y’all have to power to do whatever you want to do… it all boils down to choice.

        2. Starita34 says:

          Most, the statement being addressed is a statement from men saying how easy sex is to obtain. What’s the female issue again? That we don’t wanna take every peen thrown our way?

          The phrase suggests that sex is easy for women, and it’s hard for men. This is just false all the way around. I’m sure that there are some men that will tell you that sex is not all that hard or important. And most women seem to have this idea that sex is difficult to obtain. Ya’ll can say “eliminate the consequences from the equation”, “don’t overthink” all you want. We are WOMEN, that’s not changing. So the package deal is what we’re talking about when we talk about sex. The before, during, and after. Don’t you find it odd that all the women feel Maxie on some level of this post and all the men think it’s ludicrous? For once, can we not attribute that to the “bitches be crazy” mentality that women are simply illogical. We make up 51% of the population. Can 2011 be the year that our ideas count too? At least in our (all of OUR, not just women’s) own little microcosms?

          “Men, generally speaking, are pretty content with the sex they’re getting.”
          I had to laugh at this. Are you serious? Your experience is not everyone’s experience. You’re obviously a smart, charming, good looking, above average dude, that married young – I’m sure sex hasn’t been that difficult for you. But believe me, many a man would like more options and certainly more sex.

          “It’s yall who are all picky about it. And rightfully so, you should be.” “it all boils down to choice.” and here I drop your two favorite words. You’re right. But we will complain. We’re women. We vent, we talk, we emote. Ya’ll fix, ya’ll provide strength, remove emotions from decision making. The sexes complement each other so well when we’re not busy trying to place blame. My friend Most, if we both play our roles, we can’t help but win, as He designed it.

      2. Ashley says:

        “If you can’t orgasm, that’s a personal problem that you need to lock yourself in a room for a weekend and figure out.” – Clearly we have…thats what fingers and vibrators are for.

        “if you can’t have an orgasm from intercourse, why want it. But then… why do you want sex in the first place if you know you’re in that 75 percent that can’t get their full measure of pleasure from it. ” -because it feels good. the key is finding a partner who, even if they know they may not make you orgasm through intercourse, will still make an effort to pleasure you and make effort to bring you to orgasm in other ways (cunnilingus, anyone?) but hey, you kind of reinforced our point…men who take the “well its your problem, figure that shit out” stance are part of the reason why we are hesitant to partake in random peen.

        1. Anyone who knows me on these E-Webs knows that I’m very much anti-random-sexual encounters.

          So, I think we agree… kinda.

          1. Melanie says:

            I’ve got to agree with some of Ashley & Starita’s points… men are men and women are women therein lies the difference, but to say “It’s you… not us.” Is…? Well, that’s came across as if we have the ability to design our own bodies.

            I haven’t read all of the comments, but I don’t think anyone was complaining. It’s a discussion. Since much of the points Max pointed out are based on opinion and I’m not one to debate personal perspective, I threw out some readily available stats.

            Much of what impacts orgasms is due to the physical make-up of the women, which is special and unique in comparison to the male organ. And when you get down to it at an individual level it can be even more complex.

            Removing all emotion and societal influences from the situation, I think if the percentages were better for women you would see more women having sex any time we want.

        2. ChloeRayne516 says:

          “If you can’t orgasm, that’s a personal problem that you need to lock yourself in a room for a weekend and figure out.” – Clearly we have…thats what fingers and vibrators are for.

          *highfives*

    2. “And the purpose of sex is have pleasure, in other words, have an orgasm, correct?”

      imagine if sex is a roller coaster. let’s say the orgasm is that really big climb at the beginning and end of the ride. you’re climbing the hill in anticipation of what’s to come at the other end. and the drop from the apex is that reward. its great. its awesome. but is that the only part of the ride? no. sex isn’t just about the orgasm. honestly there have been times where i’ve had sex and didn’t orgasm because the ride was fun. and those times were a lot better than time where i did orgasm because the ride itself was subpar so i really wasn’t anticipating the apex.

      i guess i’m trying to say that pleasure is not necessarily synonymous with an orgasm. i could have an orgasm and not really have pleasure. i could be pleasured and not have an orgasm. but what am i saying? that’s just me. you could be different. *shrug*

      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        “i guess i’m trying to say that pleasure is not necessarily synonymous with an orgasm. i could have an orgasm and not really have pleasure. i could be pleasured and not have an orgasm. but what am i saying? that’s just me. you could be different.” *shrug*

        No your no different than half the women in the e-world. Us Women know all to well about getting our toes curled without reaching an orgasm everytime..

        1. my point exactly. so bringing orgasms or the lack thereof is pointless. and don’t come at me with the i can’t be stimulated by a stranger. i’ve already stated that no one is asking you to sleep with a stranger. matter of fact i don’t even know why that’s an arguing point.

          1. Adonis says:

            I don’t kno about y’all, but the female orgasm is important to me, and if my girls is not having orgasms (or any other girl I am sleeping with…)

            *music stops*

            And I have to put in the work to make sure she is having orgasms…

            Life is not fair for women in that regard

            1. ChloeRayne516 says:

              Don’t cry for me Argentina.. As stated many many times before having an orgasm everytime we get down isn’t THE END of the World, but its nice to know dudes like yourself are willing to put in the time and effort each and every time to make it possible.

              #kudos!!w

  24. Thank you, girl. You just broke it down like it has never been broken down before. *slow clap*

  25. streetztalk says:

    Sam Sharpe just ethered this post!

    1. OSHH says:

      not really, cause I don’t equate who I may have sex with, like choosing eyeliner or my assemble for the day. Simply calling someone to say what’s up, versus can you come break me off with NO thought consequences to what was a solid friendship..LOL

  26. max says:

    Okay men. Let’s backtrack here because clearly I – and all the other women who agree with me – am missing something here.

    So let me get this straight. A a man has to work to put in sex and that means it’s not easy for him to get. But if a woman has to put in work and/or humiliate herself to get sex and that means it’s easy for her to get?

    1. Sam Sharpe says:

      Where does all this humiliation talk come in?

      1. max says:

        See here’s the thing you guys don’t get and won’t admit that you don’t get.

        All of the men who commented on the post today are evolved and shit, you guys can take some free pussy and not treat the woman like a whorebag in the process. But there are a great many men out there who will not be respectful when they are getting no-strings sex from a woman. Especially after she called him up and asked him to take it. It happens all the time and the worst part about it is that half of the time men don’t even realize they’re doing it. That’s where the humiliation comes in.

        1. if that’s the case i’m starting to question the taste in men some of y’all have. there is no way i’m going to try humiliate a woman who is offering herself to me. that’s no way to ensure future sex. you know how to ensure future sex? put it down. wear it out. have her walking funny the next day. now its clear to me. i’m sorry i doubted you max.

          1. max says:

            Why is it impossible to just concede the point that you guys don’t know what other men act like when the lights are low? Why is it that a discussion of bullshit things a man does always turns into the blame being placed on the woman for getting involved with the man? You think men walk around with badges on that say “I’m a disrespectful asshole” and we choose to fuck them anyway? Sometimes we don’t know until we get to boning that they’re fucking pricks and by then it’s too late.

            1. streetztalk says:

              Yes you dont know until its too late, but that doesnt change the fact that the OPPORTUNITY to have SEX wasnt difficult!

              Thats ALL im saying!

              1. max says:

                And all I’m saying is that you guys cannot possibly know better than us how easy it is or isn’t. It’s one thing to be a man, it’s quite another thing to try to deal with one.

            2. are you saying you were humiliated by a dude like this the first time you had sex or is this a constant thing? because if its the latter yes i’m judging you. if its the former then he’s just a prick.

            3. Ashley says:

              Right. But let them start in on the “bitches be crazy” talk and now all of a sudden its because all women are crazy, not because “i just choose raggedy bitches sometimes”.

            4. obmon says:

              I’m calling bullshit on this comment.

              I’m a guy, I can tell when I look at another guy whether or not he has respect for women, whether he is a cheating type or not..

              Guys are far, far easier to read then women are. Women change with the seasons.

              Next time you are looking at a “prospect”, ask those male friends of yours (you know, the ones you wouldn’t consider sleeping with) what their honest opinion of the guy is. He knows. There. No more douchebags.

          2. It’s not the taste in men that’s the issue here. It’s the fact that any non-relationship man who is given the opportunity to break a woman off in a no-strings situation is NOT going to be gentleman about it. Respect has never been one of the non-negotiables in a typical jump-off package. Your highly evolved tactics are the minority here whether you care to admit it or not.

            1. “Your highly evolved tactics are the minority here whether you care to admit it or not.”

              i guess that’s why i stay winning. :)

        2. MeteorMan says:

          You know, if I want some great fellatio I don’t call up the chick that doesn’t know what she’s doing.

          If you want it a certain way, then place your order. We are either receptive or not. You at least filter out many of the guys that would’ve been a waste of time anyway (i.e. Not giving you want you want in terms of sex and/or treatment). When going to the fast food restaurant drive though without placing an order, don’t be surprised when you get something that you don’t like. You’ll get whatever guy puts on the menu…

        3. Adonis says:

          Women have to choose better men…

  27. MeteorMan says:

    I might have to start hollerin’ at your blog on the reg max. :)

    1. max says:

      Yay! But you’re not allowed to disagree with anything I say okay? I don’t like that.

      1. MeteorMan says:

        Dang… Oops. Too late… redo? lol

      2. Starita34 says:

        LOL and welcome and ish :-)

  28. SimplisElegance says:

    Did someone really say it’s not that easy for
    a man to get sex as it is for a woman?
    I call major horseshit
    I know so many loose ass females and so so much whoring out on these streets that I really do find that unbelievable. You can find a bustdown easily. Do you WANT a bustdown though? Maybe not. If we’re talking about quality then what I’ve said is irrelevant. But if we’re talking just plain, no standards sex, you could get it way easier then you let on.
    Let the fireworks begin cause I know dudes are gonna dissagree.

  29. streetztalk says:

    OM MUTHERFUCKING G!!!

    Yo I can’t anymore. you chicks are missing the fucking point!

    Max said women cant have sex anytime they want and stated the reasons why.

    Men are saying that at the root level, yes YOU CAN have sex whenever. You know why? The people who you have to get the SEX from are TELLING you this!

    No one is disputing strangers or orgasms. We are talking about OPPORTUNITY!

    Men’s opportunity is based on ALLOWANCE of women to GIVE UP the pums!

    Womens opportunity is finding a dude who will hit them off.

    You women make us to be “simple creatures” and animalistic. Men are just trying to fuck right?

    SO if we’re just trying to fuck, and you are basing the ease level of sex based on opportunity, then LOGICALLY if the male species is wired to fuck and you had a DESIRE to act upon said opportunity to fuck, the percenatge of ease for you to have sex > Mens percentage!

    the same factors of diseases, stranfgers, etc are the same risks men face. Men and women would both choose to ignore those if actin upon primal urges. and Max, cmon son. all these blogs you write you’re telling me you dont got a #dickintheglass on deck? Stop swindling Trini!

    We’re talkin about SEX, not orgasms, not partners, SEX *Iverson voice*

    1. Starita34 says:

      I’m buying the ticket #SBM. Streetz, will you have sex with me?

      1. ChloeRayne516 says:

        Girl you crazy!!!!!!

        *iHollered*

    2. Opportunity? Max-logic.com, check.
      Man? Streetztalk, check.
      Wired to fuck? well, according to the statement above, yes. check.
      Allowance of women to give up the pums? Check (starita34), and check (moi).
      Bonus vocabulary word for my kitten? (hi pretty pums!) check.

      So, now that we’ve established all of that. Will you break me off Streetztalk?

      Please and thank you.

      *Curtsy*
      Miss Patterson

    3. Sam Sharpe says:

      Whoever was dropping the slow clap earlier needs to bust out an encore right here. My man Streetz is telling it like it is. Preach brother Preach. Amen.

  30. SimplisElegance says:

    LOL @streetz entire comment. We done pissed him off lol Ima tip toe my a$$ the hell on outta here. LOL

  31. max says:

    Okay you know what I’m going to do for you guys?

    Tonight when I get home and I am going to send 5 “come over and fuck me right now” text messages to 5 men in my phone book. And if even 1 of the 5 instantly says yes and comes over to blow my back out I will eat every word of this post.

    Oh and Sam Sharpe, get ready because you’re #1 on that list.

    1. they have to stay within driving distance of you or it doesn’t count.

      1. max says:

        Fair enough.

    2. Sam Sharpe says:

      I’m waiting….Checks phone…..Still waiting…..eyeballs phone….no calls yet…….

      1. Sam Fights for us! Sam… do not let us down son…

    3. keisha brown says:

      just in show of solidarity..imma do the same thing. only local dudes cuz i already know the long distance/sexy a$$ americans will say yes like floetry….

  32. streetztalk says:

    I will willingly have sex with every woman on this post to convey that men are right.

    I carry the cross for my bretheren

    yall paying transportation tho…

    and if you ridicule me so be it, still wont change that it was THAT easy for yall to get sex.

    FIN

    1. Starita34 says:

      I’ll testify to Congress that the sky is made of jello if that will allow me to have Streetz’s babies. You heard it here folks. That condom GONE be filled with holes! How’s tomorrow at 2 Streetz? You want Miss P and I concurrently or…

      1. streetztalk says:

        Chill geez u wilin with those holes in the condom.

        Bout to make me write a post…;lol

        1. Melanie says:

          Nope… y’all said sex, not SAFE sex… lol

    2. SaneN85 says:

      Well, that was a dangerous offer but appreciated nonetheless.

      I’m still only in if I’m 1st in line though. You have to start on the West Coast anyhow (I have nothing to base that opinion on, but it’s a #truefact).

      1. Starita34 says:

        Girl? You first?! Don’t make me cut a bish! I got these scissors out already from “fixin” this condom…I asked first, my flight gets in at 10:59 (can you believe that’s the earliest one?) – I’m first!

        Streetz, FYI I’m staying for the weekend. Get some Gatorade, I need you hydrated. And don’t worry about your workouts for the next couple days, I got you…

        1. Kema says:

          Where are they handing out the numbers?

        2. SaneN85 says:

          Look here crazy eyes, I am not the type to fight over any man (even a delectable one). However, I don’t give too much leeway with the threats of shanking so you might want to remember that I’ve never met a challenge I’ve turned down. Don’t forget I’m still carrying a grudge over giving me sh*t about my eye.* All I give out is lollipops and ass-whoopings, and I’m all outta lollipops!

          *Please picture this entire statement made with a dramatic neck-roll for emphasis

          1. Starita34 says:

            LMAO! Well if our trips overlap, I’ll have something for you!

            http://www.gifsoup.com/view/161777/crazy-eyes-o.gif

    3. now what kind of brethen would i be if i didn’t take some of that burden off your shoulders. i’m willing to also carry the weight in the name of all that is good.

    4. Cheekie says:

      I was browsing through the comments all willy-nilly when i came across this.

      “I will willingly have sex with every woman on this post to convey that men are right.”

      This conveys what happened actually:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opGVNLImgw4

      And then I booked a flight. Hell, I booked a unicycle.

      (notice how we didn’t make fun of you and/or call you some sort of a cad.)

      1. Starita34 says:

        You mean how we saw it as humor and not him throwing his eBoxerBriefs (in my head anyway) and judging his real life by it? I did notice that…of course…he’s a man.

    5. I booked my flight. Thanks for the jetblue tip on your blog and sh*t. And um…what boro you in?

    6. Adonis says:

      I’m enjoying this

  33. N.I.A.naturally says:

    Good post, Max.

    Sorry ladies, but I have to go with the men on this one. At the very basic level, I can have sex if and when I want it. The fact that I haven’t in several months(pray for me) is because I didn’t want it from the fools offering it. lol. And trust, they are offering. At the very basic level, we are talking about the act of sex. Not a relationship, or anything that might lead to a relationship. Now, of course, to get the sex I wanted, I, or any woman, would probably have to put themselves out there in a way that isn’t very ladylike. But that doesn’t negate the fact that I could get it if I wanted it. I just haven’t exercised that option.

    1. Starita34 says:

      I really don’t think anyone disagrees with you…but men can do the SAME thing.

      1. N.I.A.naturally says:

        Let me put it this way. I know more women who lack any semblance of game who can pull a man for sex. Most men I know with great game, conversation, smile, tall, still can’t pull women the same way, mostly because us women are concerned about looking like a hoe to the masses. The same men we turn down for sex, are the same men who say they can’t have sex whenever they want. They were just turned down… by us. And there are more of us who will turn down sex, than there are men who will turn down sex with us. Unless you’re dirty and smell like tuna helper.

        1. Starita34 says:

          “there are more of us who will turn down sex, than there are men who will turn down sex with us”

          Agree with this completely…but it only takes one adventurous woman to entertain many a man…ask any dude that’s been in a train #UhOhHereComeSlim.

          1. Kema says:

            Thats exactly what I was thinking! Its easy for men to get sex. They just have to lower their standards. Go see the good time girl.

          2. N.I.A.naturally says:

            I think you’re proving my point. That one woman CAN pull that many men at one time. When’s the last time you’ve heard of a train going in reverse? How easy do you think it is for one man to pull 20 chicks at the same time for the same session?

    2. Kema says:

      I agree a man can have sex any time he wants… in the same manner these men are saying women can. We all know there is a slore in a neighborhood nearby that does not require any real effort to stick. Of course when thinking about the ease of getting some these women dissapear from the equation. When men say they have to work for it more, they are talking about the women they desire.

      So really we are saying both men and women have the problem of getting it from a person they deem worthy.

  34. streetztalk says:

    this post is classic. lmao

    Yo Max, you don’t have to have sex with them girl. DONT MAKE IT EASY FOR MEN!

    *waits*

    1. max says:

      Oh trust me I won’t be having any sex tonight. I will send 5 texts tonight and come back tomorrow just as horny and cranky as I always am. Believe that.

      1. streetztalk says:

        because either a) the 5 men u text will be family members b) wont be able to speak ingles or trini patois or c) will be panty meats!! smh

        speaking of whcih, you tellin me its easier for a nikka like Crazytrini85 to get laid before a woman? smh

        1. max says:

          I’m not gonna cheat Streetzie. I will send it to 5 straight, non-related, English-speaking, T.dot-residing dudes. And we shall see.

        2. keisha brown says:

          i am SOOO mad dude said trini patois.
          LMAOOOO.

      2. ChloeRayne516 says:

        Girl,

        Pull out your bag of tricks and go to work.

        *HandsMaxANewToy**

        1. Starita34 says:

          *looks around* *peeks in the bag* Uh, long as your feeling generous, uh, what else ya got in there?

  35. streetztalk says:

    Yall just keep proving the point smh… shyts crazy.

  36. Adonis says:

    Max I concede… That was a Fantastic Post… That really evolved my thinking…

    *e-hug* Life is not fair

    Enjoy yourself…

  37. ChloeRayne516 says:

    @NIA Naturally…

    Word!!! And not to diss you alpha males but I don’t think its even doable (1 man sexing 20 chicks in 1 session) ain’t that much viagra, cialis in the world. #imJustSayin

  38. But wait, how do we know for sure Max ain’t lying. I think we might need a U-Stream set up, just to keep it honest.

  39. davidjewels says:

    Actually, an attractive and intelligent woman can get sex from a well dressed and attractive man anytime she wants, and without any of the mental road blocks described at the beginning of this post. Attractive and intelligent women know how to pick and choose!

  40. Nara says:

    not convinced in the slightest. toughen up.

  41. aj says:

    i dont believe that at all.go to a club,dance,get free drinks,makeout with the guy n thats it.ur a girl. u can get laid anytime u want. im 31,good looking,nice job and only got laid once when i was 28.that is after 6000 rejections. this girl showed interest in me and wanted to date me. that lasted for a month.

  42. tbn says:

    The title of this article should be “Yes, We Actually Can Have Sex Any Time We Want BUT” because it better describes the content and message of the article.

    I could have sex anytime I want too… with another man. Not with any man, for sure, but if I went to a gay club or a gay bar I could meet someone and have sex with him later – even if he was not the most attractive guy there. If I wanted to meet a woman and have sex with her, say in a bar or a club, probability is I’d fail in my task… night after night. I don’t need to wait three days or three weeks, I won’t get stigmatised for having sex on a first date, so I am not pressured by culture / society to reject anyone on those grounds. It would be me being rejected. My standards are not very high so it’s unlikely that I’m going to meet a woman that I would choose not to have sex with because she was not “worthy” or because she was not attractive enough.

    Men are sexually attracted to different things and some have more powerful sexual drives than others but I’m quite certain there’s no shortage of sexually driven men who would never turn down the offer of sex with a woman, any woman, (or man, any man) let alone an attractive or half-attractive woman. I think the majority of women have inherent sexual value to most (heterosexual) males whereas the majority of men have no inherent sexual value whatsoever to women. That’s why women can have sex with a man whenever they want and men can not have sex with a woman whenever they want.

  43. The Man says:

    Aside from basic grooming, let me illustrate what a man needs to do in order to get laid:

    1) Despite far from most men enjoying this, it is expected of a man to be good at dancing and to enjoy clubbing. They can forget meeting women for sex in any other context than the tribal act of ridiculously bouncing around the dance floor to some shitty Lady Gaga remmix.
    2) Navigating the minefield that is the woman’s mind, and learn how to not set off her beta male warning alarm (thanks for forcing us to suppress our personalities and perpetuating male gender stereotypes).
    3) Accepting the childish nature of women, from the way they have no interesting personalities, tend to take shitty and chilish model pictures of themselves (look at the avatars of the females in this thread) to their general “girls just wanna have fune”-type attitude.
    4) A man is expected to have – or act like/project that he has – a very big social network, a big clique of friends, and to be socially proficient and charming. In addition, he must know how to make a woman laugh (numerous times).
    5) Having a nicely toned body rather than exercising to just stay healthy (which will not generate any muscles).
    6) Preferably having material assets; a great car or house etc.
    7) Knowing how to “build attraction” with women – playing push/pull games, saying/doing the right things, minding one’s posture and body language, having an immediate answer for any type of situation, dealing with bitch shields and cock blocking etc.

    So that just about sums it up for men.

    Let’s take a look at what women need to do in order to get laid (once again aside from basic grooming):

    1) Hitting a reasonably big club at 1-3am (you can do this alone).
    2) Walking up to a cute guy, opening him up and talking to him for 15 minutes.
    3) Asserting that he’s normal.
    4) Hitting him with with a cute smile and a “Look I’m about to head home, but you seem like a fun guy. Want to join me for a coffee?”
    5) If he happens to belong to the 10% that will reject you, if he for some reason can’t, or if he’s somehow convinced that he needs to “game” you first (thanks to you women), try again with another guy.

    Do you see the difference and how none of your post is relevant in any way? Women can EASILY get laid any time they wish, while us men must completely devote our lives and personalities to the act of becoming attractive (unless we are already attractive by nature, which is unfortunately not the case today due to the stone age-era female attraction compass).

    Bottom line is, we live in the 2000s. Men don’t expect women to look, act and fuck like Jenna Jameson, so we’d very much appreciate if you wouldn’t expect us to act like the male equivalent of the ultimate attraction fantasy, which is very hard to attain. This is why we complain that women can easily get laid.

    It’s very unfair and hard on most men. It’s not a fun life to live.

    1. The Man says:

      Also excuse the typos.

  44. david says:

    How many women u know that would sleep with indian/asian guys? NONE. Ive approached over 6000 women and faced constant rejection.These women range from drunk girls to Doctors to heroin addicts to Lawyers to teachers. My dry spell has been over 3 years. im 32/male/new jersey but south asian. so NO, drunk girls,girls with low self esteem, degrees will hookup or dating an asian american.You girls just want a white/black/hispanic guy

  45. Edwin says:

    This is a very poorly-written and clearly improvised-as-you-went-along article that contradicts itself. Not only that, you keep changing the original premise of the argument by adding on caveat after caveat until that premise is unrecognizable.

    Many of the “facts” you presented were simply your own opinions, or statements which have no bearing on the original premise, such as:

    (1) “You’ll have to wait at least 3 days” — Says who?
    (2) “Women aren’t wired for no-strings sex” — And you speak for all women?
    (3) “You can’t use a male prostitute since they’re skeevy and effeminate” — How do you know? How many have you met?
    (4) “You can’t have sex on the first date or they won’t call back”

    But the idea you were supposedly refuting was NOT “a woman can have sex with a really attractive, masculine, likeable man at any time and ensure that he calls back” it was simply “a woman can have sex at any time”.

    Then you say – oh yeah, a women CAN have sex at any time after all…but she might not get the foreplay she desires or she might not have an orgasm. But once again – that was NOT the original premise you were refuting.

    The sad part is, I actually AGREE with the main idea here – that a woman can’t necessarily have sex at any time: you just did a terrible job trying to craft a coherent argument.

  46. vince says:

    ok, so do you want to know WHY men don’t just come out and say “when/where whose on top?” when a woman just walks up and sais “hey wanna f^^^?” it’s because our whole lives (assuming we are lucky enough to get sex once) we think to ourselves “hey it took weeks of dining/stupid chick-flicks/relationship drama/meeting ppl we wish we never had to meet again just to get a nut ONCE from a woman/gifts…….ther has to be some kind of catch/this is a trick, wheres the candid camera?/this is just a sick joke *random woman* wants to play on me/she’s a hooker and she’s going to tell me i owe her 500$ afterwards or have my @ss kicked by a pimp/she only LOOKS LEGAL AND ONCE I DO IT I’M GOING TO BE LABLED A SEX OFFENDER FOR LIFE” so now you know why! we men honestly couldn’t care less about “the chase” if we tried to! we just know that if a womans offering free no strings attatched sex, theres ALWAYS some kind of hidden price we are stuck paying afterwards! and as you said, every scenario you said is over the top and therefore not realistic! women have all the OPTIONS when it comes to sex! i’ll use an analogy that women will understand: men are like clothes being showcased at a designer cat-walk show, and women are the label designers who get to PICK WHICH ONES THEY WANT! the only choice men get is “which one do i hope picks me?” but women have all the choice! you hold ALL THE CARDS!

  47. rob says:

    Men can buy sex and get they’re dream girl, women can’t do this with any kind of confidence.

  48. slv says:

    “So yes technically a woman can get sex any time she wants” Thank you. Men should look at it from her perspective though, a woman needs to choose the right one in order for it to be a good experience. However, just angrily stating that women don’t have this one advantage that we all know they have comes off as irrational.

  49. TiredOfTheDenial says:

    Thank you to “The Man” for posting how frustrating it really is living life as a guy. Ok below are a few quotes from a few dating profiles that absolutely drove me up the wall with anger when I read them!!!

    Female – “I’m not here for sex, finding sex is easy, I’m looking for love and someone to marry.”

    Female 2 – “I’m not looking for sex, I don’t need to be on sites like these to get sex.”

    What a guys brain thinks when reading profiles like these –

    “I’m not interested in sex most likely never will, and also I would like a man to give up his freedom, wouldn’t mind that he can’t go out with his Buddy’s anymore and is willing to spend the rest of his life with me, the same person day after day after day.”

    What I want to put on a profile but can’t cause women analyse every single detail of a guys profile and all of a sudden “OMG this guy is a weirdo!” -

    “I’m here looking for sex, sorry this how my genetics made me and it’s not my fault, I’m not here looking for love or marriage, finding love and marriage is easy.”

    I get tired how women keep denying this. Were are driven up the wall by the need to have sex. Were are forced to lie and deceive in some cases to be able to have sex, I know it doesn’t make it right, but women naturally grow full figured bodies more often than not, nature just gives women attractive and irresistible bodies that drive men up the wall coupled with all the skin showing tight outfights that women wear, PLEASE FINALLY UNDERSSSSSTAND!!! WHAT ITS LIKE FOR A MAN AND WHY MEN ACT THE WAY THEY DO!!.

    I is soooo nice to never get a self esteem boost by never getting whistled at having to ignore women who are constantly giving me attention even though I really want it and then regret why did I ignore her I really liked her, why did she give up so quick its not like every guy plays hard to get, right?

    Men literally have a giant super duper sensitive Clitoris stuck on the tip of a pole going into a moist lubricated pocket of flesh. If you (Women) find that a tiny bump that is the clitoris is super sensitive you cannot imagine what it’s like having sex with a penis. If women could experience this YOU WOULD WANT SEX ALL THE TIME TOO.

    I’m not even gonna go into why men are the only ones or most likely to rape the other gender. It’s not because its a power thing, were freaking horny and if you were a poor bastard who is not all that attractive and nobody gave you the time a day and you saw how absolutely sexually god like women can look you would be driven to rape too. Crap I guess I did.

    Ok now the other side of the coin, I have never felt more ashamed to be a guy, until I started reading profiles of lonely women who can’t find love on dating profiles. Yes you read that right it was a frightening epiphany and after reading profile after profile it begins to convince men that they are lousy humans for being male. I wish the women would go easy on their profiles because their are decent guys out their and it begins to eat at their mental psyche when women blame every guy for a lesser man’s mistakes.

    Sorry I didn’t spell check this thing and I’m not a writer hence the poor punctuation, and also this life long struggle of being a guy is really depressing for a guy then to find article after article trying to convince guys that their life long frustration is just a fallacy. Why don’t women check male suicide rates all over the world compared to women before they write articles like this. It is a very lonely life as a guy.

  50. TiredOfTheDenial says:

    I do know the difference with, There, Their, and They’re LOL I noticed after I posted and couldn’t fix it.

    “Mints? Sure over there behing the counter.”

    “Don’t forget to give them their coats before they leave ok?”

    “Look! They’re the weirdos who always wistle at us lol.”

  51. Not a moron says:

    No, lmao, this post is completely stupid.

    “but even in the most fast-tracked of scenarios, at the very least you’ll have to wait three days from meeting the dude to f*cking him. And you can really only turn it around that quickly if it’s someone you don’t like. If you do like him, f*cking him on the first date is not a good look, so you’ve got to wait – what? About three weeks or so? Not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not going to put out the fire that is blazing in your panties right now, is it?”

    That’s where I stopped. Women CAN get Sex easier than most men, everyday, if they want. Go into any Bar, any Club, any GROCERY store. Find a Man you think is sexy, single, and ask him; “hey wanna go have sex?” Guarantee you he’ll take you up on the offer. Either on the spot on later that day. Guarantee it. Quit deluding yourself. This article is about romantic sex. Not what men think of sex; quick and fun. Which is exactly what we’re talking about. Women can get sex at anytime. We’re not talking about connected sex, just pure, raw sex.

  52. Chris says:

    http://postmasculine.com/life-through-the-eyes-of-a-beautiful-woman

    This is all I need to post, and FYI being called a whore and a slut is different from being a whore and a slut so long as women fall prey to social cohesion not to have sex with the men they want then we will continue to live in a male dominated society.

  53. TiredOfTheDenial says:

    This is another reason why I reacted so strongly about this woman’s post and just forgot to mention it. Please remember I am only posting this to explain my strong reaction in my previous post.

    Any female in their late teens early twenties who doesn’t understand their fathers hate toward women, or why men are so frustrated at women read this:

    Hate Bounces: How man-hating and man-bashing harms women – the making of a misogynist

    http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/18/hate-bounces-how-man-hating-and-man-bashing-harms-women-the-making-of-a-misogynist/

  54. handbanana says:

    I can easily understand why men would not want to be involved with you in any way shape or form, based on this article.

  55. DeadEnder says:

    -When women say “Any men can get sex” they mean any ALPHA male can get sex. Men need to remember that 90% of women on earth are looking at the 20% Alpha males that get sex whenever.

    -Your average beta male unless he has tight game won’t get sex so easily.
    -If your an Omega male or incel you can 0% chance of getting get. Women simply don’t like short 5’5″ thin guys working at below average jobs. Even if you have confidence as an omega male you lack social status and dominance that females find attractive.

    To put it simple: Women from average to hot can get sex easy. Men from above average to high status can get sex easy.

  56. callum says:

    absolute bullshit! all a women has to do even if average looking is put on a short skirt hit a club or the dancefloor and be encircled by suitors its up to her to take her pick.ive seen it with my own girlfriends theres a video on you tube a social experiment called “asking a 100 people for se” its asking random strangers on the street one vid is a girl asking the other one a guy….the results speak for themselves

  57. Emma says:

    “if you are fortunate enough to live in a city in which there are men worthy of meeting”
    Stopped reading after that. That is the gaping flaw in the “No we can’t get sex any time we want” claim. Not having anyone handsome/smart/rich to have sex with is not the same as not having anyone at all to have sex with. A woman ALWAYS has options, they’re just not always good.

  58. John says:

    I know this has probably already been stated about the the Russell Clark experiment and the numerous YouTube videos of men agreeing to random women to have sex while the male version gets rejected every time but yes women can indeed have sex fairly easily. It just the truth. You literally have to walk around and ask enough guys at random and it will happen fairly quickly (ive even seen a youtube version where a fake pregnant women got men to agree to random sex). however men cannot do this because it doesn’t work and will almost always be rejected. So yes women can have sex whenever but should you? no! That would be strange and a little bit gross. So in conclusion you can really have sex nearly anytime you want if you really want to, but you have to have a moral balance about it and would probably prefer someone you know personally.

  59. Dude1 says:

    The homeless analogy really just reveals how much contempt an average middle class woman has for her counterparts. Assuming that Max is a white chick her attitude smacks of entitlement and grim standards in her choice of male. The very fact that her knee-jerk reaction to the idea of being forced to choose a male out of the scores that present themselves to her, as opposed to say some fly-by-night male fashion model, reveals the deep seated resentment we as a society have programmed into the women. Consider where this female has learned to peg her desire and also consider why she believes she can afford to regard most males, who simply want to experience a variation of fun with her, as moldy garbage? Is that how you think males regard most women your age outright? Really do you make enough money to be able to throw insults at men without the fear of losing a good marital prospect? Really do you? If not then you are acting like a rich girl with nothing to back it up.

    Why exactly do you think that casual sex with you is some sort of treasured activity only reserved for male models and athletes? How would you feel if those models and athletes sneered in your face and protected their bodies from you as if YOU had the plague? How would you feel if they choose not to share the pleasures they were given by random luck with you and instead rubbed your face in the fact that you aren’t going to have sex with them? Who made you so valuable???

    As for the original question, if women can get sex easier than men – the answer is yes but it fails to separate people into premiums. Premium women can get sex whenever they want and with nearly whoever they want – except with premium men. Likewise premium men can get sex with whoever they want whenever they want – except with premium females. There just happens to be through raw biology more women with premium features than men, and thus the onus is on the women to provide sex on a more regular basis to the thirsty men. Hence we have MGTOW and all these groups that are attempting to figure out how to extract more sex and respect from the attractive classically beautiful women.

    Nature actually provides women with a healthy dose of unreal beauty just so she can acquire a man of resources early on before her looks fade. The only reason why a woman would even begin to sabotage this effort by pursuing premium men exclusively is if some force were granting her monetary provisions with little true work involved. When women make too much money they become spoiled and rotten and stingy about sex. Whereas in the past they had to adopt mother or whore behaviors to acquire resources, now with salaries favoring females in big cities they can regard men as pieces of trash. Money simply allows a female to move her yardstick around when it comes to attracting a certain mate. On top of that it puts undue value on male superficial ornaments like looks or piercings. Now a male can’t count on being seen as valuable from the effort he puts into assisting his civilization, he can’t be guaranteed that if he hits a certain benchmark that he’ll qualify for a hotter woman, instead it’s based on more intangible and birthright qualities such as physical features. Monetarily propping up females while giving them sexual harassment laws to fall back on means that men can’t queue them for sex whenever they want and thus the real work never gets done as men lose incentive to contribute. (if there are only fatties and ogres available for marriage what’s the point of helping the community?) This is the source of all of the male’s pain.

    The real answer to this is to take away the female’s ability to peg her preferences. To do this the men must take away the female’s ability to buy homes and food based off of easy corporate jobs which is where I suspect most of the female’s money and easy living is coming from. Therefore we must vote to tax any corporation who hires women between their most fertile and attractive years between 16-30 yrs of age. If we were to tax companies like say an additional .1% for every female they hire in this age rage sooo many pretty females would be out of jobs and ready for the plucking. Additionally older females would be taken care of since they would be the females most likely to be hired, thus removing a lot of the old-young animosity between women. The young women can make money through being independent contractors (you would have to be really brilliant and skilled for this), marriage, prostitution or porn (yes!!) This is much better for the psyche of the American man as the pedestal of the woman would be brought down to earth and made more disposable for both sides.

    Having physical preferences is the domain of the male. The male is the one to demand physicality out of the female not the other way around as it is merely the man’s duty to produce economic output through his physical stature. Men create society, including the quality of the women found within it. Flipping it, forcing men to fit these superficial physical concerns in order to gain a premium female, is a time waster and society destroyer since men do most physical work, and scientific work, and farming… need I go on? Why add an additional burden of requiring six pack abs from the men for the sake of reproduction? In this sense women are holding the very civilization hostage to their whims and must be corralled.

    Men fear investing their time and energy in unattractive sacks just like women do, but this is really a manifestation of the laws in our society. No not all women can get sex whenever they want, many men abhor certain body sizes and races (just like women) and would never once stoop to sleep with someone like that out of desperation. But beyond a few basics most men would have sex with and treat as human slim, light-skinned adventurous women as long as the promised investment is low (or high, depends.) Women would ascribe to the same idea if only the corporate cabal wasn’t puffing up their place in society.

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